Fiction: The game that changed everything

me1931 · 12-30-2012, 10:07 PM

** This is my first story on here, please be gentle **

Characters:

Abby: 16 years old, female, shoulder length brown hair, nice but not super pretty face, nicely shaped body with little extra fat, tight round ass, B34 breasts, body hair trimmed neatly. Single.

Joshua: 16 years old, male, crew cut black hair, very well toned body, lots of body hair, 5 inch penis. Dating Jessica.

Jessica: 16 years old, female, okay face but amazing body, B38 breasts, no body hair. Dating Joshua.

Adam: 16 years old, male, a couple of extra pounds, Bieber like brown hair, short body hair, 6 inch penis. Single.

More to come ;D

Prologue

The school week began as most do. The students grudgingly filing back into their classrooms, the teachers tossing back Advil after Advil to deal with the hangovers, and the principal barricading her door and loading her shotgun. Little did they all know that by the end of the week the school would never be the same again.

Chapter 1: The Beginning

"Hey Josh, how's it going?" yelled Adam as he gave him a huge slap on the back.

"Owww, dude not so hard!! Pretty good, I had an amazing weekend, how about you?" replied Josh as he feigned rubbing his shoulder.

"Ehh, it was fine, I just sat around playing Minecraft all weekend. So, you ready for that math test today?" Adam asked as they walked through the front doors of the school. Both boys lived within easy walking distance of the school, and as such often walked to school together. They had good friends for almost five years, since Josh moved to town.

"Wait, I thought Mr. Barnes said the test was tomorrow? Shit, you're telling me it's today? God damn it!!" Josh started freaking out, muttering to himself as he ran to his locker to grab his books.

"Dude, chill, I'm just screwing with you, it's tomorrow." Adam tried not to laugh at the look on his friend's face, but failed in seconds, breaking down in the hallway.

"Not cool man, not cool. I really need to pass math this year or my parents will kill me." Josh was almost in tears, which was really surprising. Of the two boys, he was normally the more clam and collected one.

"Hey, look, I'm sorry. How about I make it up to you. My parents are away all week at some 'business' meeting in France. Why don't you and Jessica come around my house tonight. I'll invite Abby over and we can have some fun, if you know what I mean."

To be continued...

Sorry to leave it here, laptops dying.

b0ris · 12-31-2012, 01:31 AM

OK, that's a start...

Good grammar and spelling! (though I'm no authority on that)

Saphir · 12-31-2012, 05:29 AM

Quote:

They had (been?) good friends for almost five years, since Josh moved to town.

Good writing, nothing to complain really!

Formatting nice, good short start, little to no mistakes, nice prologue, looking forward for more to come

I only fear there will be too hard content for it to be perfect (for me personally) in the end, as the last sentence in the prologue suggests that there is something with school gonna happen (I hope not a random 'run around the schoolyard naked' story?^^).

If you keep it all like this and make the content slowish and so that it sounds as if it could possibly happen to everyone, this story will be amazing!

Love

Dareholic · 01-02-2013, 02:07 PM

Not a bad start.

12-30-2012, 10:07 PM	#1
me1931 Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2012 Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada Posts: 178	The game that changed everything This is my first story on here, please be gentle Characters: Abby: 16 years old, female, shoulder length brown hair, nice but not super pretty face, nicely shaped body with little extra fat, tight round ass, B34 breasts, body hair trimmed neatly. Single. Joshua: 16 years old, male, crew cut black hair, very well toned body, lots of body hair, 5 inch penis. Dating Jessica. Jessica: 16 years old, female, okay face but amazing body, B38 breasts, no body hair. Dating Joshua. Adam: 16 years old, male, a couple of extra pounds, Bieber like brown hair, short body hair, 6 inch penis. Single. More to come ;D Prologue The school week began as most do. The students grudgingly filing back into their classrooms, the teachers tossing back Advil after Advil to deal with the hangovers, and the principal barricading her door and loading her shotgun. Little did they all know that by the end of the week the school would never be the same again. Chapter 1: The Beginning "Hey Josh, how's it going?" yelled Adam as he gave him a huge slap on the back. "Owww, dude not so hard!! Pretty good, I had an amazing weekend, how about you?" replied Josh as he feigned rubbing his shoulder. "Ehh, it was fine, I just sat around playing Minecraft all weekend. So, you ready for that math test today?" Adam asked as they walked through the front doors of the school. Both boys lived within easy walking distance of the school, and as such often walked to school together. They had good friends for almost five years, since Josh moved to town. "Wait, I thought Mr. Barnes said the test was tomorrow? Shit, you're telling me it's today? God damn it!!" Josh started freaking out, muttering to himself as he ran to his locker to grab his books. "Dude, chill, I'm just screwing with you, it's tomorrow." Adam tried not to laugh at the look on his friend's face, but failed in seconds, breaking down in the hallway. "Not cool man, not cool. I really need to pass math this year or my parents will kill me." Josh was almost in tears, which was really surprising. Of the two boys, he was normally the more clam and collected one. "Hey, look, I'm sorry. How about I make it up to you. My parents are away all week at some 'business' meeting in France. Why don't you and Jessica come around my house tonight. I'll invite Abby over and we can have some fun, if you know what I mean." To be continued... Sorry to leave it here, laptops dying. __________________ 28 male Likes: Bondage, spanking, suspension, clothespins, light to mild cbt, hidden public, femdom, chastity Limits: Piss, shit, kids, permanent, public, family, wedgies, diapers, cum play, messy, watersports, anal, face Kinky toys: handcuffs, ball gag, blindfold, duct tape, rope, clothepegs, hood, chastity devices, sounding rods, locks, zip ties, vibrator, locking restraints Add me on kik if you want to use me as a slave. Kik: twtguy

12-31-2012, 01:31 AM	#2
b0ris Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: too small a vilage (see signature) Posts: 218	OK, that's a start... Good grammar and spelling! (though I'm no authority on that) __________________ I live in the most hilarious "country" in the world: http://vimeo.com/15239617

01-02-2013, 02:07 PM	#4
Dareholic getDare Addict Join Date: Jun 2012 Location: 3rd Rock from Sun Posts: 2,329 Blog Entries: 37	Not a bad start. __________________ Brian (布莱恩) - Bi-Male (双男性) - Edge Master (边缘大师) RETIRED: THANKS getDare, I HAD FUN. OH, JUST REMEMBER: "Life is not fun, unless you are having fun." - Dareholic "Adam was but human - this explains it all. He did not want the apple for the apple's sake, he wanted it only because it was forbidden. The mistake was not forbidding the serpent; then he would have eaten the serpent." - Mark Twain Yamask