[Non-Fiction] My denial diary

[Pet Ra]

Tuesday (Day 117 / 84)
Enemas 03 / 20
Spanked 0950 / 1250

Hi

Sorry for being absent for so long (again). First I had issues with my notebook and then with my body. This is not an excuse, just an explanation.

But the last day not much happened. After my 100 spankings I had trouble to sleep well and sitting in school was not very nice too. So we decided that I'll only get 50 spanks per day. Also this make me "enjoy" my ass shield longer . I still feel humiliated by this - strange, isn't it?

The belt doesn't bother me at all. Ok, because the weather was really warm the last days it got a bit uncomfortable because silicone and steel will make you feel more sweaty than cotton panties.

But Master put the inflatable pool on the terrace so we could cool down a bit. Okay, first I was afraid to puncture it with my belt but then it was really relaxing and I'm kinda glad he let the Pet (me) in the pool

But Master remind me that this is a denial diary, so I have to focus more on denial and less of the diary how my days were.
I'm in "no touch" for more than a month now and I'm afraid that I dug myself a wet grave by wearing the belt to school. I only get "touched" in the evening when Master or Mistress wash my cunt. But with ice cold water and a sponge, so it's not really enjoyable. But I understand the need of doing so - I'm so fucking horny.
Master told me that I start humping during the night and make delight little moans during sleep.
And when he fucks Mistress I would fuck my ass, if it weren't blocked.
Mistress really loves to show me what a low creature I am by masturbating in front of me - sometimes she even just edges, knowing that she can have an orgasm any time she wants. It really makes me feel submissive. I love it and I'm afraid that my owners know too well what turns me on.

[subDanni]

Originally Posted by Pet Ra

Sorry for being absent for so long (again).

Hehe. I was actually about to ask if you're still denied and a wet mess down there, but seems you answered that in your post

I have a question though, regarding your mistress masturbating in front of you. Does she allow you to touch her while she masturbate? Or does she touch you? Rubbing your nipple, for example.

Also thanks for update. It's fun to read.

[Pet Ra]

Originally Posted by subDanni

I have a question though, regarding your mistress masturbating in front of you. Does she allow you to touch her while she masturbate? Or does she touch you? Rubbing your nipple, for example.

Also thanks for update. It's fun to read.

Thank you.

It depends. Sometimes I just have to sit between her legs and watch with my hands behind my head. When I got touched then it is my nipples at the moment, but before I was put in chastity I was allowed to rub my cunt at her foot every now and then. When I'm allowed to touch her I mostly eat her out or finger her.

Friday (Day 124 / 91)
Enemas 03 / 20
Spanked 1250 / 1250

On Thursday I got the last 50 spanks and behaved extra well this week to get the anal shield removed. I even behave so well that Master told me that I earned one edge for the next day.

During school I could hardly concentrate and the teacher had to admonish me to pay attention few times because I was fantasizing what Master would do to me. According to Mistress I had my eyes closed and was biting my lip, while moving slightly back and forth - I was obviously horny
When I got home after school I made the flat extra clean and cooked his favorite meal, to show him that I'm still a good pet.

When Master finally came home I was jumping like a little puppy, but of course he wouldn't edge me right there.
First we had dinner and after I cleaned the table and the kitchen he ordered me to the bedroom. I rushed there but waited patiently till he allowed me to get on the bed.
Then he start caressing my tits and worked his way down very, very slowly. I was panting and moaning while my whole body starts shivering and I begged Master to remove the chastity belt. Of course it got denied (yet). I could feel my cunt twitching and revolting in her steel prison and was humping the air.

It felt like ages till Master finally opened the belt. He told me that I was fantastical wet and had an amazing smell. He slit his finger between my labia and licked them before dipping them in again to gave me a taste of my whorish juices. Then he went between my legs and pulled me open gently. As I felt his breath at my sensitive parts I clenched my fists and my breathing increased rapidly. Then he gave me one very slow lick and let his tongue dance over my slit from down to top. And it was enough to bring me to the edge. One. Single. Lick.

I got a bit mad at my body and disappointed by myself, I really wanted to enjoy this longer.
But one edged was promised and one edge I got.
I'm very thankful for the gift Master gave me.

He kissed my trembling clit goodbye and locked me away again.
During the night my cunt was twitching and it still does now. It felt like my body almost forgot what pleasure feels and now start to remember.

[ltakltak]

wow, this "no touch" is really doing wonders to you! do you have already any plans to end it? I wonder if it is this going to be an all 2018 thing!? Do you anyway plan to have many differences next school year, or will it be another year at school for you and mistress?

[Pet Ra]

Originally Posted by ltakltak

wow, this "no touch" is really doing wonders to you! do you have already any plans to end it? I wonder if it is this going to be an all 2018 thing!? Do you anyway plan to have many differences next school year, or will it be another year at school for you and mistress?

Thank you
I don't have any plans of when or how this will end. But we all still enjoy it, so I don't think that it will end soon. And for school: We'll study a bit further, but I don't know what school brings next year.


Sunday (Day 126 / 93)
Enemas 04 / 20

Well, few weeks ago I wasn't sure what is more cruel:
Touching without orgasm or no touch at all.

Now I have to say:
If you have been in "no touch" the urge fades a bit, although it's always present. If you then got one single edge it feels like heaven, but when you get put in "no touch" again it becomes hell. Yesterday I was really frustrated, now it keeps getting slightly better.

To bring me to other thoughts I got my ass filled again, so I could keep the enema-dare moving. Master filled me with 1,5 litre water before using the anal plug to keep it in.
While standing there with shaking legs I thought about pulling the plug and fucking my ass with it - but because Mistress watched me I didn't have a chance to test my fantasy. But I know that it won't take long till I can't be left alone with free access to my pleasure hole. So I asked Master to put the shield back on - at least till the need has faded again.

[ltakltak]

so the ass-shield is going to be part of the standard-equipment of you ;-). That's good to hear. I agree you shouldn't be trusted alone without that the shield. Which means only your breasts and some grinding is what you are capable of doing yourself. This is turning into an ever more interesting experiment. Maybe a moment will come that you can not be trusted alone... at all anymore when sufficiently frustrated ;-)

[Yasna]

Gosh, what an interesting, entertaining, and well written diary! I'm on my ninth day of strict no-touching myself, and I just devoured the whole account of your experiences in one go … It's like a look into what I hope (or fear) for my future. So inspiring. I need to try numbing cream someday. And a clit pump too. It's probably needless to say I'm tremendously horny right now. Subscribed!

[Pet Ra]

Friday (Day 130 / 97)
Enemas 04 / 20

Thank you to encourage me - I guess.

Because I asked for the shield, till the urge to finger-fuck my ass has faded, I was allowed to have it removed today. But for tomorrow I lost the right to edge. I don't know if I'm happy or sad about it. Also Master told me that if I touch my asshole in any other way then wiping it, the shield will be back on. After my ass got plugged (respectively stuffed).

Nevertheless today my mind slipped away while I was cleaning my "toy box" (Mistress told me that just because I don't need them anymore doesn't mean that I don't have to take care of them).
I was cleaning the slim and pink dildo, which was my very first toy, and felt my ass itching in desire to put it in it. I really liked how my cunt start to twitch too and I could feel how I got horny and frustrated more and more.

@Yasna:

Thank you and welcome to the club. Hehe.

I would like to hear how your mind and body change if you are denied for a long time.
As I told before: I've always been a "moist" girl, but now it is insane (and often embarrassing) how wet I am, but after few weeks of no touch my cunt calmed down a bit. But when you then allowed to edge it can be sheer hell. I absolutely loved it.

Edit:
I see you like pain. Maybe you should try a bit capsaicin at you clit. But place a wet towel next to you, so you can wipe it if it gets too intense.
I did it once, it was a bit too much for me - but I really didn't want to touch myself there for a few hours

[Pet Ra]

Tuesday (Day 135 / 102)
Enemas 05 / 20

Ha, today I managed to write my report imediately

Well during the weekend my arousal dropped a bit again, so Master decided that I'll get edged every Friday do keep me needy, frustrated and horny - if I deserve it. Because Friday had been already I had to earn my edge. I may see myself as a pet, but I'm a sub after all and as this have to earn the privilege of getting pleasured.

So, to earn this edge I had to do an "enema task". You may think it was easy, but Mistress made sure that I really earned it - so she filled me quite good. It was abut 2 Litres and I really wanted this edge, so I gulped down every single drop she pushed in my ass.
During that time Master had lubed the plug and attached it to the ass shield. Then he slowly let it invade my anus before locking it inside me and ordered me to made sure that I didn't leak some of this nasty water, while getting collard and leashed to get walked. But we stayed inside (thank god), so I was just crawling through the flat. Nevertheless I felt quite humiliated while on all fours, clenching my anus tightly around the plug and stuffed like a turkey that had been prepared for Thanksgiving.

After 20 minutes my ass shield got removed and I was finally allowed to release myself - Master and Mistress were very satisfied with me . After I got rinsed Master ordered me to the bedroom.
I had to kneel on all fours in front of the big mirror, facing it, while Mistress laid on the bed and began to rub her pussy. Master kneeled next to me and I felt something cool dripping at my anus just before Master slipped his fingers inside me. Then he whispered to my ear: You will get finger-fucked till Mistress reaches her orgasm. If you get close to the edge just clench your ass. Don't slip over. I could just moan. I'll take this as a yes.

It was so intense, watching myself getting fingered while seeing Mistress furiously working her pussy. But Master made sure that I didn't get too close too quick. When my ass start twitching he pulled his fingers almost out, leaving just the finger-tips inside to keep my anus always slightly stretched.

When Mistress was finally done I was covered in sweat, strings of juice dangling from the belt and sticking to my tights. Master locked the plug inside me again so I have something to remember till I can get a shower (in an hour, or so).

I'm still oozing

[ltakltak]

Great report! thank you for that. How long did you have the plug in in the end?

I am enthusiastic about you earning your edge through an enema. Maybe next time you can convince him to give you late enema and only allow you to edge after holding the enema for 25 minutes (and allowing you release only after the edge) ;-)

[Pet Ra]

Originally Posted by ltakltak

Great report! thank you for that. How long did you have the plug in in the end?

I am enthusiastic about you earning your edge through an enema. Maybe next time you can convince him to give you late enema and only allow you to edge after holding the enema for 25 minutes (and allowing you release only after the edge) ;-)

Thank you. In the end I had the plug in for about 3 hours.
Also Master loved your idea, so here is my report.

Friday (Day 138 / 105)
Enemas 06 / 20

As soon as Master came home he ordered me to the bathroom where he removed my belt - I was kinda surprised.
Then I got filled (nice and slow but so much that I felt wonderfully full) and plugged. Afterwards I had to lay in the bathtub and wait. It was really warm the day and the tub was so nicely cool that I didn't really mind. But I was not allowed to touch myself, yet.
All I was allowed was laying on my back, hands on my knees and get hypnotized by the messy jungle between my legs. Every fiber of my body was longing to touch me there - I never knew 25 minutes can become so long.

When I was finally allowed I went directly for my clit which was starving for attention. I moanes loudly as my fingers touch my sensitive spot ans jolts of joy rushed through my nether region. I twitched so hard that I almost shit out the plug, causing some nasty water to escape.

Master told me to stop immediately.
Then I had to place myself over the toilet, pull the plug and release myself.
After I got cleaned I was put back into my belt.
I haven't earned my edge today

Edit:
Mistress and me going on a school trip the week after next.
So it will take some time till the next report. Sorry.

[Pet Ra]

Friday (Day 146 / 133)
Enemas 06/ 20

Because I failed to earn my edge last week and it was the 1st of June, Master decided that I will take part in JuNO.

Well, for those of you who don't know JuNO:
"The whole of June is going to be dedicated to exploring edging and denial and do as many edges as you can while having as few orgasms as possible."

But for me this means to be denied and be teased as much as Master and Mistress want while having as few edges as possible. So, it's not a whole month of "no touch" but "no edge" and Master even let me touch myself while in the shower .

My first thought about this was: "Easy pie" and the first day it really was - I touched myself a bit and the horny fire in me kept burning, nothing special. But from Wednesday on I found it harder and harder to stop myself. I didn't want to reach my orgasm, but maybe an tiny edge? Just one?
It kinda feels electric every time Master locks me back in my belt.

For the belt (because it is kind the "main character" in this denial after all):
It was really warm and having silicone and steel pressing against your skin then is not always a pleasure. It's sweaty and sometimes kinda nasty.
But beside that I start loving my belt, it's like a good friend that helps me to get a better sub and without it I would had failed long time ago.

I mean: I always enjoyed it more to give than to receive pleasure. I feel really proud while swallowing Masters thick load that he pumps down my throat. Or see Mistress clawing the blanked as she rocks her hips back and forth while her pussy spasm in pleasure. It just make me feel good.
But now there are times that I would like to stuff my hands in the belt and rub me till I explode and most of the time my clit acts like a second (small but more powerful) brain.

So it helps me to prevent to ruin all the effort that Master and Mistress put into my training, but I'm also afraid that someone will see the belt, which is a clear evidence of my secret.
Especially for next week when we have our school trip. Mistress thinks that I should just go with it but Master told me that he don't want to force me into this. But maybe I can bring it, separated and buried deep in my luggage. So if I have the chance to wear it I can do it. As an alternative he offered me that I will wear my black panties every single day so I can see the stains really good. But under the condition that I will get shaved completely, so the panties can snuggle tightly to my cunt. But I don't really want to shave (and I know / hope Master will respect my wish), because my pubes signalize my status as a "Pet" - and I look like a child without pubes .
Maybe one you have an idea.

For the week:
It was warm, very warm - more than 30°C and (as told already) wearing a chastity belt is not always a pleasure. But being a pet really have it perks.
While I was naked (except for my CB) Mistress was wearing a minimum of clothes because being nude while my cunt was covered would have been shameful for her.
So most afternoons we spent in the hot tub. Master in his boardshorts and Mistress in her bikini.

Sorry, no sexy stuff this time - it was simply to warm for that

[Yasna]

Very interesting report as always. It's nice to see another girl doing a modified JuNO because I have the slight feeling I'm missing out on the collective experience. Yes, some body parts seem to develop a mind (and will!) of their own, and I like your description of your clit as "a second (small but more powerful) brain". A few times "I've" even talked to my pussy in the last days (actually to myself of course, but it's such a strange feeling I don't know how to frame it). Sometimes it's like talking understandingly to a small child who wants immediate gratification, sometimes it's like yelling hysterically on the verge of a nervous breakdown at somebody who prefers to cover the ears.

Have fun on your school trip!

[Pet Ra]

Originally Posted by Yasna

... Sometimes it's like talking understandingly to a small child who wants immediate gratification, sometimes it's like yelling hysterically on the verge of a nervous breakdown at somebody who prefers to cover the ears.

Have fun on your school trip!

This is exactly how it is.
You just can't ignore it, no matter how hard you try. Like an anoying child in a crowded restaurant.

Thank you, but I'm a bit nervous because I don't know what to do with the belt

[Pet Ra]

Well, the school trip was nice but sometimes sheer hell.

Monday (Day 148 / 115)
Enemas 06 / 20

Mistress stayed over night from Sunday to Monday and Master instructed her that she would be responsible for me during the trip. Mistress assured him that she will take this very serious.
Master agreed that the belt would stay at home (so I didn't count the days from Monday to Thursday) but I had to wear every day a fresh pair of black panties, so I could show him the stains when we came back. Also I didn't got shaved but trimmed - so I neither looked like a child nor like a "hairy bush monster". Words can't describe how thankful I was for this.

On Monday morning Mistress, removed my belt and trimmed my pubes right before we had a shower together. She left about 1cm of hair, because Master told her to make sure that I still must have the most hairiest cunt of all my class mates. After we were done I had to stand naked in front of the big mirror while she got dressed. I had to admit that now my pubes didn't turn in a disgusting mess so quick, but I could see my labia already glistening with my juices. Normally I can just feel it because it's covered by hair (and steel during the last weeks).
Also I noticed that I got very light tan lines from the belt, but you had to look really really closely.
Thank god we spend most of the time inside last week

After breakfast Mistress told me to get dressed and handed me my black panties. They were made of satin - you know, the most slippy and sexy fabric existing. Master bought them last week without me knowing. 10 panties. Two for every day (in case I had to change them during the day). Just for the trip. Also a new box of pads. Master told me that the more I use, the more I will get spanked when we come home - for every panties 20 times, for every pad five times.
I was quite looking forward to try them on. But, to be honest, I got nervous too. I lost count when I had on panties the last time, and now this cool and soft material will come almost in direct contact with my cunt. I was trembling. It felt so nice.

Till we walked to school. Have my clit always rubbed this much in my underwear? I couldn't remember. In my belt it was protected and not touching it.
During the trip it got much harder. We sat in the back of the coach and that's were the engine is. So the next few hours I sat literally on a big block of vibrating metal. The result was devastating, I was on the highway to hell.

I pretended to be asleep.
In this way I didn't had to interact with my class mates, because I was afraid that I couldn't act like a decent human being. But this meant that I had to deal with my aching cunt all by myself, without any form of distraction.

When we reached our youth hostel I stayed in my seat for a couple of minutes, but my teacher told me to hurry. I told my her that my legs fell asleep and I need few minutes. She was okay with that.
The hostel was nice. 4 beds per room and community showers, so all the girls had to share a bathroom. No chance for privacy, but for few nights it was okay.

We made our rooms and I went to the toilet to look at my underwear. It was soaked (like the pad in my jeans) and clinging to my cunt. But I decided to spare the fresh panties for the evening and just changed the pad.

After lunch we went back in the bus to visit an Sea Live Centre, which was nice but we had to walk a lot, so I made a stop at every aquarium to calm down a bit. But I was quite thankful to get back into the bus. Till the engine got started and my cunt roared up. Before we went back to the bus I had changed the pad, I could have saved myself the trouble because my cunt was oozing again.
Back at the hostel we had dinner and after that we were free to explore the city or do something else. So Mistress and me did some window shopping to distract me from the needy little brain between my legs. But we returned about 10pm, so we could take a shower while everyone else was out (most of them in the local pub). I was really thankful for that.

I had to wash myself under the strict eyes of Mistress.
But, before we were done, some of the other girls came into the bathroom. I just hoped that nobody noticed that it smelled like pussy in the changing rooms. I hopped in a fresh pair of panties and placed a pad in my pyjama pants before putting them on. Then I went to bed, keeping my hands over the blanked ;-)

Tuesday (Day 149 / 115)
Enemas 06 / 20

Just after getting up I headed for the restrooms and then directly into the shower to wash my body (I only wash my hair in the evening. It takes ages to dry) where Mistress already waited for me. Because we now knew that the door to the changing rooms in front of the shower squeaks, which give us enough time to act normal, she washed my cunt. But this time nobody came in. I was quite thankful for that.

After breakfast we went back on the bus and visited an airport (lots of walking) and after dinner we make a guided tour through a steelworks (not so much walking but lots of stairs).
It was highly interesting, but all the time my cunt slipped in my satin panties, drowning them in my juices. Again I was just changing the pads in between and kept my slippery panties on.

Because the weather was not very nice we stayed at the hostel in the evening. I was quite happy for that.
When we went to the shower in the evening there were already class mates inside, so I wanted to come back later. But Mistress told me that we had to make sure if I really have the hairiest cunt of all my class mates and for that we have to look. Then she pushed me in, following me directly after.
I tried to act like it was no big deal for me but in truth I wanted to disappear. Mistress however stood there like a queen washing her gorgeous body and talking to the others.

In the dressing room Mistress told me how wonderful I handled the situation and whispered to my ear that she still haven't seen a girl with more hair down there as me. I couldn't stay mad at her and put on a fresh pair of panties, placed a pad in my pyjamas and we went back to our room.

Wednesday (Day 150 / 115)
Enemas 06 / 20

After I had a shower and placed a new pad in my pants I put on fresh panties and went to the breakfast room. Together with Mistress of course.
Then we went to your next destination - by bus (yay )
First we visited the Cologne Cathedral (normally I wouldn't reveal my location so freely, but we are home now and some of you would have already guessed by the other locations that we went to the Ruhr area). But I thought it was a bit unsuitable for me to visit a religious place while my cunt oozes in my panties. I'm not a very religious person but I respect the people that are, so it just felt wrong for me to be there like this. But I have to admit that the cathedral was really impressive and climbing the tower offered a nice view over the city. Definately something I would like to do again.

In the afternoon we made a boat tour on the Rhine, it was nive because you can see the area without walking. And while standing at the handrail the vibrations of the engine didn't caused any trouble.

The rest of the afternoon we had time to explore the city.
Mistress found a nice shop for lingerie because she wanted to buy a corsett. So I spent an hour to watch Mistress trying some sexy underwear. In the end she choosed a red / black one - she looked so sexy in that.
But because we lost track about time a bit we had to run back to the bus. What did I say about how happy I was because we don't have gym class anymore? The pantie got so soaked and clinged so tight that it felt like an oily hand rubbing my cunt after the first hundred meters. I almost edged as we reached the bus. We were a bit late but not the last.
I was blushing, panting and got site stiches. My teacher asked if I was alright, so I told her that I'm just out of shape and need to do more endurance training.

The tour back to the hostel was quite intense. The vibrating engine under my worked up cunt made me shiver all the time and as we reached the hostel I went straight to the shower while everyone else was still hanging around somewhere else. Mistress followed me of course.

I was absolutely drenched and as I pulled down my pants I saw stings of juice connecting the pad with the panties and even thicker strings connected the panties with my cunt. Mistress slipped her hand between my legs and whispered in my ear what a disgusting little whore I am.
She washed me by just putting some drop of soap in her hand and rubbed it over my cunt - I was so wet that it was enough to produce some nice foam. Then I had to shower myself with cold water (to cool down my body in heat). Even it was just 9.30pm we went straight to bed.

Thursday (Day 151 / 115)
Enemas 06 / 20

For this day there is not much worth to report.
After my morning routine we get in the bus and went to the zoo where we spent all day.
Okay, it was lots of walking again, but compared to the day before it was just child play
In the evening we packed our stuff so we could check out in time the next day and after we were done Mistress and me went for a walk along the river. But the two girls from our room joined us, which made me very nervous. But Mistress talked a lot to them - I had enough work to put one foot in front of the other.

Because it got a bit chilly we went back to the hostel where most of my class mates spend some time in the lobby or drinking with others in their rooms. I got a bit tipsy and as we were about to have a shower some of the girls said that they will come too. I was a bit afraid but I didn't really mind - I couldn't forbid them to come with us.
Also it was almost the last chance to see if one of the other girls had more hair down there

But I took some time to get my towel and everything else. So everyone was already under the shower when Mistress and me came in. By this I avoided to be asked why I have a pad in my pants and why my underwear was so wet. I threw away the pad, put the panties in my plastic bag and joined the girls under the shower.
Because the other girls were almost finished when we came in I was alone with Mistress soon and she told me how wonderfully I handled the crowd. I was kinda proud


Friday (Day 152 / 115)
Enemas 06 / 20

In the morning Mistress and me had a quick shower and after breakfast we went back home. Again I pretended to be asleep because the vibrations of the engine went straight to my clit.
Master waited for us at school (he took a day of just to welcome us back) and at home I presented him my underwear.

You could clearly see which pair I wore at night. They were still more stained than the panties I was wearing when I was still allowed to orgasm, but by far not as stained as the panties I wore through the day. While the "night panties" had a big white spot in them the whole crotch area of the "day panties" was white.

Also he counted the pads that were left in the box - I used 17 pads and 9 panties in total. Made 265 spanks. Mistress told him that I may be a stupid pet, but at least I'm an obedient one because I didn't touched myself a single time. But I have to admit that it was really hard sometimes.

After I got my spankings Mistress claimed her reward because "It's been almost 5 days without a good dicking." But first Master took the opportunity of my short fur and pumped my cunt. While he puffed my cunt he warned me that for every break he has to make he would pump my clit for 5 minutes afterwards - I earned 15 minutes

While I sat there and could feel my trembling cunt swell Master pressed Mistress against the wall and fucked her hard. I pinched my nipples to distract me from the fire in my lower body.
As he finally came I had the feeling that I was swimming in my pump cup.
Then Mistress took the clit tube and let some of Masters sperm drip into it using it as lube.
I was trembling as Master pressed it on my clit and start pumping slowly. Because he had to make some breaks too I spent 35 minutes with my clit sucked in that narrow tube.

After that I was finally allowed to tell him about the trip and in the evening I was (finally) belted again. As told, the belt is protecting my genitals but not touching the sensitive spots directly. Master told me that this is why I shouldn't be allowed to own any underwear (except for the belt) anymore.

Oh, before I forget:
None of the class mates I've seen (I missed three) have more hairy genitals then me.

I want to thank you all for your patience. Have a nice evening.