Old 07-15-2013, 01:00 PM   #1
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Drink Minors in the BDSM room

Now, as I've understood minors aren't allowed to sign-up anymore, they're only allowed on the website if they were "grandfathered in". They are still not allowed to access certain parts of the forums though, to keep them from overly sexual/BDSM content and interaction.

Why are minors allowed in the BDSM chatroom (or any chatroom)?
It's already been established that generally the mods don't appreciate any sort of talk (even on topic, although they may allow it) and the BDSM room has now been converted from a generally more BDSM oriented chatroom to a place purely for advertising and finding slaves/masters. Going off-topic will result in a general or personal warning or a kick. So why is it okay for minors to be exposed to this in the chatroom but not in the forums?

Someone mentioned that with the coding it'd be hard to ban them from JUST the BDSM room and they would have to be banned from the chat in it's entirety. But it's already been said that all sex and BDSM topics are perfectly fine to discuss in the lounge and that that's even preferred as ideally the BDSM room should be devoid of any chat. So really, none of the rooms would be safe for minors.

How come the priorities lay with making sure consenting adults stay strictly on topic in a chatroom, whether it completely kills/empties the chat or not, but kids staying in this environment are allowed?

I already know that certain mods will be jumping up and down to give me a condescending reply that answers none of these questions but re-confirms their power, but I'd love for at least some (or one!) in the moderators team to offer any kind of logical explanation. Obviously whether or not I personally agree doesn't in the slightest bit change how the regulations are handled but just to satisfy my curiosity I'd like to know. ^^
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Old 07-15-2013, 04:09 PM   #2
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I've gotten annoyed when mods come into the BDSM Exchange room (A place for dominants and submissives. Talk about BDSM and find play partners.) and tell people to take their chat to the lounge.
In my opinion...
The Lounge should be general chatting and banter.
The BDSM Exchange should be BDSM chat and requests
The Truth or Dare room should be where Truth or Dare requests and games should be held.
The Scene... the room description on that is self explanatory.

The mods are a little to draconian with the ban hammers and loose interpretation of the rules.

As for the topic (sorry you hit nerve), this site has a lot of sexually explicit information. anyone under 18 shouldn't be allowed on the boards. That being said, unless there is some kind of verification system put in place, what's to stop a 14 year old from registering with an 18 year old or more birthday.
I'd hazard a bet there are probably a lot more users on here that have fake birth dates listed so they can see the restricted areas than there are actual 18+ users.

As for the rooms, I think they should eliminate the sexually explicit one if they're really worried about them and put them up over on KT.

Anyway... that's might .02 cents worth.
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Old 07-15-2013, 07:50 PM   #3
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Oh jesus how I prefer shorter questions ><

Um, I'm really not sure how the rules on what can be talked about in the rooms and underagers are really related. Like at all. So I'm going to ignore the other half because we have had that conversation 70 bajillion times and it hasn't changed.

As for underagers, have you looked at the site? There isn't a single section in the entire forums that doesn't have at least some sexual topic to it. They can find it anywhere they click. They can also participate in said conversation on most of the threads. There is no rule against that. What they CAN'T do however is request dares and s/m partners. That is what is against the rules.

If you see underagers ASKING please report them. If they are constantly hinting at wanting play partners or are just generally being skeevey, report them with full chat logs and it will be taken care of if there is a problem. I have had to kick out underagers until they were 18 before for being out of line in there and I don't have a problem doing so again if there is an issue.

Over all though, how many underagers are actually even in chat anymore? I can't think of more than maybe three off the top of my head and I rarely ever see them in chat let alone the bdsm exchange. Not sure how much of an issue this is anymore and will become even less of one as time goes on.

Quote:
Originally Posted by smalldickbound View Post
The Lounge should be general chatting and banter.
The BDSM Exchange should be BDSM chat and requests
The Truth or Dare room should be where Truth or Dare requests and games should be held.
The Scene... the room description on that is self explanatory.
This is basically how everything works already with the exception of it is preferred to have just requests in the bdsm exchange. You talk about whatever the fuck in the lounge, just please no requests there. Also, there is barely anyone ever in the TorD room so people can really asks for dares in the bdsm exchange because goodness knows they will be waiting a few days to ever get much of an answer in the TorD room.

Quote:
Originally Posted by smalldickbound View Post
That being said, unless there is some kind of verification system put in place, what's to stop a 14 year old from registering with an 18 year old or more birthday.
I'd hazard a bet there are probably a lot more users on here that have fake birth dates listed so they can see the restricted areas than there are actual 18+ users.
This is much more of the real issue here. There is no way to tell if someone is underage and lying or telling the truth. I can be suspicious of many users but -much to the shock of many people I'm sure- I don't ban unless I'm actually sure.

-apologizes if words are missing/typos, I'm tired ><-
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Old 07-15-2013, 11:28 PM   #4
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As I already knew there would likely not be any changes it was more of a theoretical pondering than anything else. Although I would like to point out to you the difference of letting minors virtually stay in a place that may contain sexual topics but in general is not dedicated to it and where they might find other things (like the forums) and a place is specifically and explicitly sexual of nature and where non-sexual topics are actually punished (like the chat).

When I see minors asking or adults soliciting them I do report it (but of course, this doesn't always accomplish anything) and although the issue is obviously getting less because the users that were grandfathered in are growing up too, I don't think it's wrong to ask about the original logic of letting kids visit the BDSM chatroom; Since some forums are blocked for minors there's obviously a realisation that if an area is only geared towards finding sexual kicks, a minor doesn't belong there.

Not sure what half of my OP you're ignoring, Nelly, and not sure what confuses you so about the connection between room rules (like, you may only talk about BDSM) and the allowing of minors in these rooms. It seems relevant to me-- I wouldn't want my baby sister in a chatroom where the rules specify that the chatters are not allowed to talk about anything non-sexual/non-BDSM. Also, it so happens that I've not had that conversation that many times and I had a hard time finding answers around the website itself. I thought a thread would be a good place to ask.
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Old 07-16-2013, 02:13 AM   #5
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Well, ya know, if it was only for requesting things then I probably really could kick them out... But everyone seems to have a huge issue with that being just a request room.

I think you might be terribly confused about something, they are only blocked from POSTING in those sections. Underagers can see every section of the forum, they can message people if they want to respond to ads even. We are regretfully tied to hoping someone will report them. Also, I dare you to find a single thread in any section except the lounge that does not contain at least a slight sexual element to it.

I would also like to point out that not all conversations in the lounge are PG. So to even make this effective, all sexual talk would have to stop in the lounge and that isn't happening.

Basically though, this entire site is full of sexual content and that is why any underager is here. They are always going to be here, whether you know it or not. If one is in chat and is acting like they are looking for a play partner, report it. Like I said though, there are VERYVERY few underagers left in chat. I'm actually kind of curious what underager actually sparked this whole thing because I've only seen one in like the last couple months in chat.
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Old 07-16-2013, 09:17 AM   #6
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Can I just point out, as an underager who does go into the chat, that I've never seen or been part of anything in there that's worse or more explicit than things in forums. Like nelly, said, the same rules in terms of soliciting apply. And also, although the BDSM room is supposed to stay on the topic of BDSM, the main reason I ever go in there is because more people I know are in there, who I whisper to and have private chats with because I prefer that (as in, perfectly PG-13, wouldn't be allowed publicly because they're not BDSM-related chats) - I don't see how it's any different to being able to read S/M ads on here, then PM members.
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Old 07-22-2013, 12:54 PM   #7
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It's not much different, Embii. ^^ I was just wondering. It was a theoretical pondering from my side, it was just something that I had been wondering for a very long time and I thought that posting about it now would give less of a shitstorm than a few years back, when minors were much more active in all the rooms.
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Old 07-24-2013, 06:12 PM   #8
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So how are kids even spotted on this site?
I see you mention "if you notice a minor hinting for play partners.... Please report them"

So is it that I've just not seen any or a I missing something obvious?

I understand kids will adjust their date of birth to make an adult profile (I think we've all done it) but from what I see above it actually sounds like this site willingly lets children register and be exposed to the forums?

If that's the case then is pretty sad and pathetic, obviously just to get the numbers up
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Old 07-24-2013, 06:44 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Your Dom View Post
So how are kids even spotted on this site?
I see you mention "if you notice a minor hinting for play partners.... Please report them"

So is it that I've just not seen any or a I missing something obvious?

I understand kids will adjust their date of birth to make an adult profile (I think we've all done it) but from what I see above it actually sounds like this site willingly lets children register and be exposed to the forums?

If that's the case then is pretty sad and pathetic, obviously just to get the numbers up
The minors that are being discussed are people that were grandfathered in after the age change on the site over two years ago. They shouldn't be requesting play partners or sexual dares and if you see them, report the situation.
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Old 07-24-2013, 10:33 PM   #10
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There are always going to be minors joining the site. Truth or dare is a big game for all kids once they learn to play, I was playing a version at 9, I dare you to taste this, I dare you to tell who you love - the simple basic game. But as you get older it becomes I dare you to tell who you want to kiss, I dare you to take your shirt off...
But with the rise of sex education taking place at younger and younger ages and the stubborness of society, insisting that children aren't children but young adults from about 9 or 10 years old, by the time they 12 or 13 it isn't the kiss n tell kind of game it is nearer the adult game and these days dares will include web sites.
Look at the number of stories being written about dare games where the participants are under 16. This is because it is easier for the writers to relate to that age than relate to being 18+. possibly because they haven't got there yet so have no experience.

Under UK law you are an adult because you are 16+ and can do as you please. Also under UK law you can be prosecuted if you are between 16 and 18 for sending a text message if that message has sexual content because it breaks the porn laws 18+. That includes e.mailing if you use a mobile to do so.

There isn't much you can do about 13/14/15 year olds joining this site if they alter their age and lie. You can ask as much as you like for them not to do something or go in somewhere but the very fact they are a teenager and don't see why the rules apply to them in the first place means they will simply ignore requests to behave.....

As for BDSM it is big business and in everyone's face these days, even supermarkets no longer have adult content books (not magazines) above a certain height so any child can look at them, begin to wonder what it means and it only takes the slightest erection in a young male or damp panties in a female for them to want to know why. For those on the internet exploring their sexual needs playing an almost adult truth or dare makes sites like get dare prime targets......... And that is never going to change.
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Last edited by archie21; 07-24-2013 at 10:46 PM. Reason: Sit didn't read right so I removed a section.
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Old 07-26-2013, 06:04 PM   #11
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Of course there's always going to be people who lie about their age to get onto the site. The best the staff can do in this case is to ban them if they admit their true age.

However, it still makes sense from a legal liability point of view to restrict minors. It's the same concept as many adult websites where you have to click the "Over 18" link to get in. It's not that they really think it'll stop minors; they're protecting themselves.

I dislike the attitude that teenagers shouldn't be sexual. I had sexual interested in my early teens, and I'm sure many people here can say the same. It's natural, as much as conservative morals may try and say that it's not. However, I think the legal issues are more than enough reason to limit the access of minors. I would hate to see this great community be shut down.
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Old 08-29-2013, 06:52 PM   #12
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It would be virtually impossible for getDare, it's administrators or it's moderators to stop u18's accessing this site.

The same way it is impossible for porn sites to stop underage people using them. All they have to do is lie about their age and 'wall ah!'.

As I've seen from the Ban List, there are constantly users who are under 18 being banned and I'd imagine that it's because, either the moderators are catching them out or users are reporting them.

I report underage users when they break the rules and so should anyone. There is no point starting a thread about it because it's not going to solve anything.

It is asking the basic questions which we all know the answers to. Of course underage users are not aloud engage in the sexual topics of thing's and as it's been pointed out before, getDare is a largely sexual website which would mean that minor's are very limited in what is happening on the site, but as it's been said, there is no 100% way to stop minor's signing up to the site.

The only way to help stop it is to report it to the moderators, not make threads about it.
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