[Non-Fiction] My denial diary

[Pet Ra]

Wednesday (Day 227 / 190)
Enemas 07 / 20

Punishment counter:
Spankings 300 / 450
Enemas 2 / 3

In school we did the usual you do after holidays. We were talking what we have done in that time, getting a new schedule, look who is new - well, almost everything except for learning
My butt wasn't as sore as feared this morning, still I could feel that I got spanked and because we did nothing my mind started to wander about the second part of my punishment.

Also, it was six weeks since I walked these rooms in my belt and strangely I was almost as nervous as I was when wearing it the first time to school. But everything went well.

In the afternoon we did some cleaning and in the evening I was preparing everything again.
Well, I just got my second part and it was like yesterday, but I could swear that Master used a bit more force this time when he was spanking me. I think tonight I'll have to sleep on my stomach.

And again I was clearly more enjoying it as I should because my tights were slippery and as Master removed my belt my pubes completely were a sticky mess
As he showered with me I could feel his hard member against my back - I never felt more wanted and wouldn't mind if he had fucked me on spot.

But I got locked up again and I think I'll head to bed now.

[ltakltak]

He Pet, thanks for the updates! It is really special to have someone continue chastity and reports on it for such a long time!

I was wondering how you think about having your ass fucked. Would it feel like violating your chastity or would it just be humiliating being filled from that side?

[Pet Ra]

Tuesday (Day 233 / 199)
Enemas 07 / 20

Punishment counter:
Spankings 450 / 450
Enemas 3 / 3

Whoops, I forgot my report on Friday

Well, last Thuresday evening I was done with my punishment and it was clearly a nice finale.
First Master removed my chastity belt and after I got filled Mistress plugged me with my tail-plug. Then I was crawling to the living room and had to stood on all fours on a yoga-mat.
Master stood over me and spanked my ass with both hands. As I was looking down I noticed the string of juice dangling between my legs which grew longer with every slap. I was fancinated by it so much that I totally lost count somewhere after the 30th slap. So Master decided to start all over again.
Maybe he was right as he supposed that I'm a hidden masochist, because I totally enjoyed that.
But after I released the enema and got washed I was kinda happy to be belted again.

Originally Posted by ltakltak

He Pet, thanks for the updates! It is really special to have someone continue chastity and reports on it for such a long time!

I was wondering how you think about having your ass fucked. Would it feel like violating your chastity or would it just be humiliating being filled from that side?

Thank you

I don't think getting ass-fucked is violating my chastity. Many chastity-girls are "anal only" while secured. I clearly enjoy being filled from that side, it's such a nice gift and definitely not humiliating or dirty (if you clean propperly)

[Pet Ra]

Friday (Day 243 / 206)
Enemas 08 / 20

Well, we have trouble with the internet at the moment so don't worry when I'm offline for few days.

This week was completely dedicated to nipple play because we neglected it the last weeks.
Master and Mistress told me that because last Saturday I celebrated my 200th day in chastity I had to take care of my nip nips for 200 minutes in total till the end of the week. So every day when Master came home he sat down with a drink and watched me playing with my nipples for 30 minutes.

While rubbing, twisting and pulling them I tried some sexy poses but guess I just looked ridiculous Nevertheless, when Master plays with them it still feel so much better, especially when he bites or suck them. But I still don't manage to edge from nipple play - stupid, tiny tits.
I just get very, very horny and even more frustrated.
Today I was trying while Master railed Mistress on the table, they didn't even look at me. All I could see were Mistress feet on his shoulders and Masters back while he rhythmically plunged into her. But even with the slick noises of their genitals and their moans I didn't managed to came closer to the edge as the days before. I don't want to learn this for my pleasure, but for Master.

But because I put so much effort in my training I was allowed to change the number on my enema counter.
So, after Master was done with fucking Mistress silly he ordered me to bring my enema kit to the bathroom. After I got everything there he removed the belt and lubed me while I had to fill the syringe with water. While I got filled, slow but steady till I gulped down every drop of the 1,5 litre, Mistress came in to clean herself.

20 minutes later I was allowed to release myself - it's been a while since I had to hold in this amount of water for such a long time. I guess I need more training.

After Mistress had rinsed me and I had cleaned my belt, Master washed me - while I was standing he also inspected me.
I love when his hands slide over my body, he spread my most delicate parts and looks closely to them or dips his finger in my ass.
Even I missed some hair in my armpit I "passed", so I got belted again.

[bee9]

While my opinion wouldn't be popular I still it's important to get heard.

Pet Ra, this may be harsh for you, but please read it anyway.

From my point of view you definitely enjoy being denied and teased, but you are not actually giving any orgasm control -- you sort of "use" your Doms to be teased and denied.
Being a true sub (pet is even less empowered) is to give away that control.

In this particular case -- I'm fine with you given options on your birthday, but on other days if your Master or Mistress feel your ass has to be pounded -- it should be with no regards to your desire not to cum. You might cum or not, or even cum too much -- that is irrelevant. Even being fucked until you start cumming and then - nothing, i.e. having a ruining orgasm is fine. You are a pet, not someone who asks to be teased and denied.

So once again -- your wildest, yet scariest dream is to be permanently denied of orgasm.
Yet, your real punishment would be to have your pussy shaved clean, mouth kept open with a ring gag, senses deprived with a heavy duty leather hood and gangbanged in all holes (yes, your precious pussy as well) by 10+ men.

Feel to say I'm wrong if you really think so. More than happy to discuss it with your Doms as well.
GD members, please share your opinion -- does this pet have to grow to the next level or stay just teased and denied?

[Pet Ra]

Friday (Day 250 / 214)
Enemas 08 / 20

The whole week we had trouble with the internet, it was possible to get online but the connection was awfully slow. So, no fun at all.
But since I expect a weekly report from my sub LucyLewd Master told me that I have to provide that too.

Once again this week Mistress made sure that my nipples get as much attention as possible till Master comes home.
As soon we came home and I abandoned my human side she attached the chain to my stiff buttons and give it some good pulls. She made clear that this is not a punishment because this made my nip nips sensitive and tender, so I may have a chance get to the edge this time. But still I didn't managed it. I get horny and build up so much tension in my lower body plus my nipples get extremely sensitive, but still can't get closer - even it's 250 days since my last orgasm. It's so frustrating :-(

Also, at the weekend I had a chat with with Kifla and he was impressed that I can fit 4cm-beads in my ass - but I always thought that they had 4,5cm in diameter. So Master showed me one of his golf balls and made me measure again. Also I have the urge to do some anal stretching, like Lucy.
But somehow I'm worried that my ass won't give Master pleasure anymore. So he made sure that I knew it does - every day so far.
When he came home on Monday I greeted him as usual (on my knees). He lifted me up, kissed me and bend me over the cabinet. Then he got some lube and unlocked me.
After Mistress smeared a generous amount of lube in my ass crack Master slowly entered my rear.
It felt heavenly. I was standing pn my tip toes and his cock spreading my hole before sliding deeper in my body. Even he fucked me so gently it doesn't took long till I start squirming.
But Mistress was prepared. Before I got close to the edge she pressed an ice-pack against my burning cunt (it was a shock) while Master slowly pulled his cock out, just leaving the tip in. Mistress didn't leave the pack on my lips very long, just enough to make sure I cooled down. But it was long enough that my wet fur froze to the cool pack . Then Master continued till I "needed" the pack again. But I managed to make him cum and afterwards he plugged and belted me again. I felt so proud.

On Tuesday my owners did the same, but on Wednesday Master put me on my back, bend my legs and fucked me then. It was much harder because in this position I have the feeling that every thrust went straight to my cunt so I needed the ice-pack much, much quicker. After the third time he just pulled his cock out, told me I'm too much work and belted me again
But Mistress don't wanted his boner got to waste, so he put a condom on and railed her pussy. Master made fun of me since "Mistress won't cum after 10 thrust with a cock, even when fucked in the pussy" and can give him some pleasure. Mistress simply laughed about my inferiority.

So on Thursday I was simply bend over the cabinet again. It wasn't as comfy as on the bed but this way it was easier to endure the pleasure so I got his cum in the end. It feels like ha reward.

On Friday Master and me were invited to a party of his company.
Nevertheless I prepared everything so Master would just need to remove the belt and claim what it his. He saw me bending over the cabinet while standing on my tip toes and asked who allowed me to stand up. Since Mistress went home after school it was obviously not her.
I told him that I expected to get ass-fucked before we had to prepare for the party and thought he would like it if I prepare myself already. He loved my enthusiasm but would like it more if I'm obedient. But since I did it with got intentions and behaved quite well during the week I just got a light spanking. Since I already was in a good position he did it right there - 25 slaps on each cheek.
Afterwards he removed the chastity belt and we took a shower together, as usual my cunt got washed cold water. He tried to dry it but it had no use, as soon as he removed the towel I was wet again. Master handed me one of the black satin panties and a thin pad, so I won't leak under my dress. I didn't got belted since the dress fits so tight that the belt would be clearly visible.

The party was quite nice, even I was afraid that someone could smell me. So I was chatting mostly with Master.
As I used the bathroom I realized how soaked the pad already became. Also that it was the first time I was alone with my cunt to free access.
Now I understand Lucy when she has to clean herself, the urge to touch is almost unbearable. And even I wiped with some rough toilet paper it felt quite nice. But I managed to pull up my panties with the soaked pad (I forgot to pack some to change) and went back to Master. Since a little teasing won't do any harm I whispered to his ear how wet I was

On the way home Master had his hand on my leg, slowly gliding up towards my cunt.
After he parked in the garage he pulled up my dress and simply pull the panties to the side, exposing my dripping cunt. Then he gently start fondling and rubbing me and didn't seem to care that I was dripping on the leather seat. It was dreamlike and I reached the edge with ease. I was given permission to do, of course.
My legs felt weak as I was climbing the stairs and as soon as the door closed behind us I kneeled in front of him. Still in my evening dress I start sucking him off. I swallowed all of it.
As he undressed me I noticed that we left the pad in the car and my panties were totally soaked.
He edged me again, trough them this time before removing them and closing the belt around my twitching cunt (Master told me he loves how desperate my lover lips move and pump)

Even we came home kinda late I'm to horny to sleep. So I thought it would be a good idea to write my report. (It was not, because it made me more horny).

@bee9:
Thank you.
At the moment my doms and me are fine how it is.
But we will think about it :-)

[knorke]

It's always interesting to read here - even though staying without orgasms for so long is crazy.

@bee9: I think you're wrong. Mostly because, no matter what, kink is still something to be discussed and negotiated with the people involved, and if they're all fine with where the relationship is at the moment...

Your opinions on kinks and labels and whatnot may differ, but there's no real need to convince others they're "doing it wrong" and should change their ways.

[Pet Ra]

Originally Posted by knorke

It's always interesting to read here - even though staying without orgasms for so long is crazy.

@bee9: I think you're wrong. Mostly because, no matter what, kink is still something to be discussed and negotiated with the people involved, and if they're all fine with where the relationship is at the moment...

Your opinions on kinks and labels and whatnot may differ, but there's no real need to convince others they're "doing it wrong" and should change their ways.

Thank you

Well I've managed to stay 15 or 16 years without an orgasm

But if you would have asked me 250 days ago how long I wanted to kept denied I would have said: "Maybe one, maximum 3 months."

But suddenly I reached 100 days and the ambition got me. I wanted to see how much I can take but still didn't thought that I would get this far.
I don't know when I can't take it anymore, but counting from zero frightens me more than never cum again, at least for the moment.

@bee9:
Master, Mistress and me discussed about your opinion and we are fine how it is at the moment. Pounding me knowingly to my orgasm and punish me for that would be like the wanting me to fail. The don't see anything wrong in that I ask / beg to stop to be pleasured. If I ask / beg more that three times Master will simply fuck Mistress,leaving me without pleasure for that evening. But definetely not getting fucked in every hole including my cunt - breaking my hymen if Masters privilege only and he will decide when he claims me and make me a "real woman"

But in one thing I agree, I have to work on my endurance since I want to handle a full fucking till Master cummes in my ass without me asking to stop.

Have a nice evening

[bee9]

For sure the foundation of a healthy relationship is an open line of communication, when you talk/discuss your desires/needs.

It's good my position was understood and taken in account. Good luck to you and of course, you have wonderful reports!

[Pet Ra]

Tuesday (Day 261 / 224)
Enemas 08 / 20

I ordered an anal cone (to do some anal training) which arrived last week yet not much happened.
I got my lady issues and to make me feel more miserable I got a cold, like Master and Mistress too.

As I unboxed the cone I was surprised by it's size and have to admit, it scares me a bit but arouses me at the same time.
Master and Mistress had some talk about my training and even Mistress originally don't want to have a key to my belt anymore (so I won't be begging her to release me) she agreed to unlock me in the evening. So I can greet Master while having my ass impaled on the cone. But if I touch my hairy bits the punishment will be serve.

Let's see if I can handle the cone

[Pet Ra]

Saturday (Day 265 / 228)
Enemas 08 / 20

Well, this week nothing really happened too. Sorry
Looks like I got up too early and got sick again. Plus, I had a little down last days also - so, the cone still waits to mangle my asshole

But don't get worried, Master takes good care of me and ordered me to stay in bed (the human one, not my doggy bed) till I feel better.

Having the cone resting next to my bed (at full display) really makes my cunny twitch nevertheless it scares me. But I can't explain how eager I am to try it, even I know (hope?) it will hurt a bit when I stretch my butt on it.

[ltakltak]

he Pet, are you feeling better again?

[Pet Ra]

Originally Posted by ltakltak

he Pet, are you feeling better again?

Yes, I feel better. Thank you.

Day 283 / 246
Enemas 08 / 20

Master and me took some days off and went on holiday while Mistress stayed at home, giving my boyfriend and me some wonderful time together.

After we came home and unpacked the car I undressed in the vestibule while Master watched me. And I think this is the big difference between Master and Mistress. When he collared and plugged me he doesn't look like a rigorous Master (like Mistress does). He smiles like a proud owner of a well trained dog. Nevertheless, I'm his pet when we leave the room.

Mistress came shortly after and I greeted her like you can expect from a good pet.
During dinner I sat next to Master and he petted me while he was talking about the trip.

Afterwards Master asked me if I would like to try my anal cone finally, because it waits for more than three weeks to stretch my ass. Mistress told me that it feels really nice to have that thing in her pussy. Since I don't use it she rode it almost every evening last week. She doesn't even seem to be ashamed about this.
Maybe it's strange, but if Master fucks her it's okay for me (okay, I get envious) but I know that they do it to humiliate me (which turns me on). But as she told to my face that she "raped" my training device I got really, really jealous. It's to modify my asshole for Masters liking, not for her pleasure.
At least she could have asked first.

After dinner Master led me to the bathroom, got my enema kit from the cabinet and removed my belt. Then he filled me and after I got rinsed I crawled back to the living room.
Mistress already had set up the cone with lube. And a mirror so I could watch myself.

After I got a generous amount of lube too I squat over the cone which appeared huge for me (why did I ordered the XXL-cone?).
I know that the tip is slightly bigger but softer than my beads, so I took some deep breaths and lowered myself till the tip touched my "brown star".
I let it invade me slowly, but as the biggest part of the tip stretched my delicate hole it got a bit uncomfortable but not painful.
Then the cone is a bit thinner but get wider quickly. So I took a short break, breathing heavily, before lowering myself more. I managed to get to the second of the ten ribs it have. Then started to move up and down slowly to massage my asshole so it will get used to it.

Master kneeled next to me all the time rubbing my back, supporting my ass and telling me how wonderful I look. A beautiful display of lust. Mistress on the other hand said that I just look like a common bitch in heat, because the hairy nest between my legs was oozing so much . Well, I guess I was something in between.

As my legs got a bit tired I lifted myself from the cone. The bigger tip passed not easily trough my butthole again but it went out without pain, leaving it a bit gaping.
Even it was a bit uncomfortable it felt kinda nice and I hope this will become a daily routine - weird that I was afraid of it first.
But I hope Master don't want me to manage to "swallow" the whole thing. I guess my ass will be ruined then .

[Pet Ra]

Day 286 / 249
Enemas 08 / 20

It's Saturday and here is my weekly report (for the last two days).

Since we still have holidays Master insisted that I do some more anal training.
As I woke up today Mistress already waited with the filled syringe and filled me while I was still in my doggy bed. Master led me to the second bathroom attached to the guest room (it was his room when he was a child) and removed my belt. I clenched my ass so hard on the way to the bathroom.
After I got rinsed I crawled in the shower where I finally was allowed to empty my bladder.

After he wiped my paws and lubed my butt I crawled to the dining area in the living room. Mistress already had set up brunch and my training device. It was also lubed so I could just mount it.

The big tip still feels a bit uncomfortable but when it's inside it feels really nice.
Because I couldn't bend forward to eat from the floor Master placed my bowl on the coffee table. This way I could munch my food while my ass was impaled. Master told that he haven't got such a nice entertainment in ages. I started to push myself a bit more down, thinking that Lucy can handle 8cm while I can just fit half of it boosted me, but Master told me not to overdo it.

After about half an hour Master told me to take a shower with him. I was a bit sad as the cone popped out my butt - I kinda felt "empty". But of course I rushed to Master, having a shower with him is like a reward.
But before I could step in the shower I had to wash my cone and the belt first. He inspected it thoroughly but was satisfied.
While he undressed I kneeled in front of him and as I saw his hard member I was biting my lips. I was so fucking horny.

Under the shower he washed me nicely and played with my asshole. He told me that it was slightly gaping, so I was a bit worried that it can give him pleasure. Well, there was only one way to find out. He pressed me against the wall and plunged his dick in my still lubed backdoor. It felt so good.
As I got close to reach an edge he pulled out and told me that I'm still nice and tight.
My legs were shaking but of course he wouldn't risk that I loose all of this wonderful desperation that build over the last 285 days.
Then he proceed washing me like nothing happened. If I was horny before I need a new word for what I was now.

After he dried me and put me back in my belt I kneeled in front of him and thanked him. For washing me, for give me his dick and for not letting me cum. I was oozing all the time

The rest of the day we spend quite lazy since the weather was not good at all. I was hanging around here on gD, chated a bit with LucyLewd and watched "The man in the high castle" on amazon prime. Later we did a bit grocery shopping.

But in the evening I had a second "training session".
Again I got filled before I was led to "my" bathroom where Master removed my belt, rinsed me and were I also did my training then. It felt so nice stretching my asshole again. For half an hour I was slowly rocking back and forth while Master watched me.
As Mistress called that dinner would be ready in five minutes he just unzipped his pants and got his cock out. I thought he want to suck it and opened my mouth, but he simply jerked off, let drip in the shower and wiped his cock with toilet paper.

Then Master told me to get off the cone and turn around.
He cleaned my butthole but didn't wiped my cunt, because it would have no use.
As slimy I was and with nothing but desperation between my legs I finally got locked in my chastity belt again. Afterwards I cleaned my cone and washed away his sperm (bye, bye tasty baby juice )

On Friday we had been to a museum in the afternoon, but my morning and evening routine stayed the same. I love it and have no idea why I was afraid of the cone first since it makes me a better pet.

Well, and for today:
My period kicked in, so I won't play for the next days .

So, have a nice weekend, my dear getDareians.

[bee9]

Have you considered wearing a dilator for prolonged periods of time under the belt?