[Fiction] Ellie's total domination

[Jack3445]

This is my first story this first bit is a short fact file about what she looks like and some feauters that will be used throughout.

Ellie is a sixteen year old, she has an athletic of and has mid back blonde hair like it was wven from the finest gold length hair. She is in the final year of high school and weeks away from taking her GCSE exams. She ha s 2 older brothers Gary and fred and 1 youger sister charlotte who is Ellie's twin.

Alarm struck 6:30am "Buzz buzz buzz" screamed ther alarm shocking Ellie awake. She sat up in her pink bed and picked up her phone to see she had gotten a text mesaage in the middle of the night from an unknown number. Who could this be thought Ellie as she opened it the message read 'Hello Ellie you dont know me but I know quite a lot about you, I have pictures of you that I'm sure you wouldnt like to be release for all to see, so let's make a deal you do everything I say for a year (like a slave) and I delete the pictures but if you mess up more than a certain amount of times I will release these pictures for the whole world to see, effective immediately you are my slave, now for your first task I want 5 nude pictures you may choose the positions and where you are' as Ellie read this she began to shake and make a little squeel noise she had only sent nudes out once and they were only to her exboy friend troy who mus have sold them. A tear then ran down her cheek but she knew what she had to do she got out of her tiger onsie and snapped five pictures, then she sent it to the unknown number....

That's just the introduction stay tuned for next parts :-)

[jessie_XXXJONES]

Mmmm nice more maybe tell us what the poses were if u can

[Jack3445]

chapter 1

The first picture was a selfie of Ellie looking up, the next two were pictures of her squaring in the mirror with her hands in her pussy , another one she was kneeling locking her perfectly formed lips and the last one was a picture of her turning to face the camera. Ellie's thumbs shook neviously as she clicked the send button. She couldn't let this get the better of her so she went for a nice soapy shower. When she got out her twin sister was stood there, when Ellie saw her she burst into tears.
" what's wrong Ellie?" Charlotte said
"Its nothing don't worry about it" replyed Ellie in a sad tone
"Come on I'm your sister"
"Fine." Ellie said annoyed "promise not to tell anyone?"
" yeah, I promise"
Ellie took Charlotte in to her room, they sat on the bed together the sun was just starting to shine through the crack in the curtains, she then showed her the text message

"Wow, so now you have to do anything this person tells you?"
"Yeah, I think so" Ellie said as a tear tricked down her face and landed on her right boob. Just then Ellie's phone buzzed, it was a text from the unknown number 'I see you are willing to do as I say slave, I liked the pictures so if you complete this next task you may get a reward. Your task is to go to school in a pink thong then when you get to your locker I want you to put them in there, oh and makes sure your wearing tights and a nice skirt' Ellie's heart sunk and Charlotte looked shocked.
"Ellie what are you going to do?" Asked Charlotte
"I going to have to obey him, I don't want these pictures release" Ellie said as she burst into tears.

[Deadpool15]

Really good story please continue

[Jack3445]

Chapter 2

Charlotte could see that her sister was up set and started to try to calm her down
"Ellie its only a year, you can do this" Ellie began to stop crying, dryed her eyes and gave her twin a big hug. At breakfast all Ellie could think about was being power less to this stranger, the more she thought about being the wetter she got. Although she was turned on a little, she still didnt want to go comando. After brakefast she out on her school uniform, she wore a red and black clip on tie with a white blouse, a black blazer with her school logo on and a pleted skirt with black tights. She wore her hair in a bun and she made sure to wear the thong. On the bus her sister was playing with her dark brown hair although they are twins Charlotte is a brunette and elie is a blonde. Ellie gets more anxious and begins to sweat a little bit. "DING" the bell on the bus made it stop out side of the school, Ellie's heart pounded harder and faster with every step she took her pussy was soaking wet. When she finally made it to her locker she knew it was her time to part ways with her thong, she went to the bathroom and slipped off her thong went back to her locker and locked it inside.

One and a half hours later it was break time, her phone buszed in her blaser pocket she opened her messages it was the unknown number. The message read: ' well done Ellie, I have collected your thong, you were a little exited wernt you the soaking wet good girl, you have earned you reward, its in your locker you may enjoy the rest of the day you will wake up at 5am sharp'. Ellie walked over to her locker, how did he know her locker combination she opens it to see a pink coller with a lead attached to it with Ellie engrave into it and in the back it had her house address on. Next to it was the dress she had wanted for the last two weeks next to a pair of black heels. She stuffed it all in her bag then closed her locker. Ellie felt more exited and anxious with her rewards, could she feel like she wants to be owned

Authers note:
In the next chapter I want to reveal the masters name,what do you guys think it should be

[jessie_XXXJONES]

Mmmmm sounds good loving it and glad u took my advise

[arklord]

Great story, great build up too. I think it should be her sister.

[Black Panther]

Not to sound rude, but I disagree with everyone here. Firstly, looks like zero proofreading was done. There are tons of spelling and grammar mistakes. Second of all, it's a generic plot. Third, the writing is bad. Every sentence seems clunky. Finally, you shouldn't be asking people for advise on the story. It should all be planned out before the first chapter is posted if you don't want it to die. Again, nothing against you personally, it's just my opinion.

[Dublinjohn]

Just to add, the idea has promise, but I too have a couple of issues.

Firstly please accept this as constructive critique.

1) what 16 year old girl would just send the 5 pics, the blackmail should have at least sent what ever (s)he was holding over her, there was no build up, it was "you are my slave" and "ok"

2) Its your first story, take it where you want to go, don't be asking the readers for direction, what will happen is that they will take it a place that you don't want to go (or are not familiar with), also writing and posting like this, on this board especially leads to a lot of long waits or even worse dead stories, get yourself an outline of how you want to the story to go and then write, proof read and rewrite, I'm two years into writing my first story and its changed a lot organically from the original plan, but its still not ready to be read.


Anyway, may you enjoy your writing and your story

[royalsand28]

Go on the story in nice, i want a lot of humiliation and degrading

[Jack3445]

Chapter 3

Saturday morning, Ellie's alarm buzzed at 5am as her new master had commanded, Ellie's eyes shot open faster than a bullelt can be shot out of a gun. She looked over to see that she had a new message. 'Good morning slave, in a few hours you will find out who I am, we will meet, but first I want you to go out side naked to the park there you will take a backpack with clothes in, you may only put an article of clothing on if you succeed with a task given to you by me. Well you have 20 minutes to pack your bag, talk later, slave'. Ellie jumped out of her bed she didn't want to displease her new master, she took a black thong, a black bra, pink short shorts with jucie written across, a flowery top, knee high socks and a pair of trainers. Before she left completely naked she ate a pack of crips as she ate she began to worry about what she was about to do but she had be forced between a rock and a hard place.

she walked to the park trying not to be seen by anyone this was pretty easy as it was still pitch black but when she saw the occasional person she would hide behind a car or bush. When she finally got to the park she messaged her master I'm at the park. A short while later her phone buzzed 'good slave, to earn your panties and bra you are going to hide your bag in the bushes and then you will act like a dog in the field for 10 minutes.' Ellie was already naked so it couldn't be that hard to act like a dog she did so and found it difficult, the grass was gross and wet and at one point she put her hand in dog poop, after the 10 minutes were up Ellie messaged he master that she was done. 'Good, you have earned your undies now to earn your trousers and socks you are going to wallk down the street as you are with out hideing until you reach a shop when you are there you are going to take a photo it shouldn't be too dark'. Ellie got her bag out of the bush she slipped her black panties on and then cliped her bra on she could feel the warmth that these gave her.

She put her bag back on to her back and set off in it town it wasn't that far from the park. Her mind was running she wanted to go home and snuggle up in her nice warm bed. When she reached town it was 6 o'clock and the market stools were just getting set up. She took out her phone and snaped a selfie she messaged her master with the picture and she wrote 'I have pink short shorts not trousers'.
'Well done, you may put on your short shorts and socks now to earn your top and shoes you must crawl home and when you see a person you must act like an exited dog. And because you took that tone with me you shall be punished later.' As Ellie read this she knew this was the most humiliating thing her master had made her do, she crawled home like this when she came a across the first person she barked and then stars to climb up the likes like a dog does "woof woof" Ellie barked as the stranger looked down at her discussed at what she was doing he pushed her down and walked off mumbling about the whole experience. The second person patted her head and she licked his hand "good girl" he said then he walked off when she finally got home she messaged her master she was done 3 minutes after her phone buzzed 'Good girl, put on your shirt and shoes, these clothes are what you will wear today and you have a busy day for your last task before eleven o'clock you will go upstaires' as she got off the last step she saw her sister leaning against a door frame with a smerk written across her face. "Good little slave" Charlotte said. Ellie face began to show pure anger......

[royalsand28]

Another awesome part, please go ahead i cant wait

[BIGTENCountry12]

Not a bad start, looking forward to reading more

[Jack3445]

Chapter 4
Her cute face crinkled up as the anger took over she ran at her sister "ah ah ah, I wouldn't do that if I was you, now sit" Charlotte said in an assertive voice showing Ellie who's boss. She stopped running as she reached charlotte and got on to her knees she kn3w how ruthless Charlotte was. "Now your my bitch, your life will be miserable, oh and that slave for a year, well thanks no longer happening your going to be my slave forever". Ellies eyes started to water why was her sister doing this to her they had always be best friends and never fell out for very long. " 2hy are you doing this, char"
" you were always the favourite sister and that's hurt me for years but now i can take my revenge you will do EVERYTHING I say, you will only bath once amonth, you will kiss my feet yoi w8llcaerve my every whim, you can never tell me no and you will dress as slutty as possible" Charlotte said taking dominance

Sorry its only short the next part will be longer

[jessie_XXXJONES]

Damn nice I hope it's longer I love it