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Old 02-10-2018, 11:01 AM   #16
alli55
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Thank you so much, Curtis, for your comments. I really appreciate them, and I can tell that you've put a lot of thought into them. For that reason, though I read them yesterday, I've taken my time before responding, to give myself a proper chance to think about what you've said.

To avoid any inadvertent spoilers, I've restricted some of my comments, for now. But, once the story has finished, I would love to discuss these points, and any others, with you further!

1) I like to try to get inside my characters' minds and think how they would deal with things, so that explains Hannah's behaviour.

2) This is one I would love to discuss with you at greater length, after I've finished posting the story. I acknowledge that Sleepover was very much a story in two halves, each half very different from the other. This was because of the initial statement made by Megan about the sleepover changing her life (indeed the very title of the story); so I wanted the story to detail the sleepover and then to show how and why Megan thought it had changed her life.
I will, though, happily admit that I have a bit of an issue knowing when and how to end a story. I don't know about the US, but here in the UK far too many dramas, on TV especially, have what I call a 'brick-wall ending'. What I mean is, they hook you in, create a plot, develop the characters, and then just finish. The story, literally, just stops, leaving you wondering how the unfinished plot might be resolved and what might happen to the characters. I hate that! So, in trying to make sure I don't leave a story hanging, I probably over-compensate and try to tie up too many loose ends. It's a flaw I'm aware of, and I do try to rein myself in, but it's hard!

3) 'Littlies' is very much a British expression, but even here I don't think it's that common. It's just something I'm aware of from my childhood, and I just liked the word when I was looking for a way of referring to Zack and Gracie together!

4) The italics thing has bugged me too! I write my stories in Word, and the font I use gives a really good distinction between normal type and italics. It wasn't until after I posted the first part of this story that I realised the distinction wasn't as strong on here. Your idea of using different colours in the text is brilliant , and I will definitely be using that in future!
I'm glad you like the use of dual narrators. I felt that it was the only way to tell this particular story, but I'm not sure that it should be used very often, so it may be a while before I need to work out how to colour my text!

5) I kind of like the idea that it's a bit rebellious to write a story like this on a site so dedicated to sex and sex-related stuff! I suppose you could call me a harmless rebel!

Thanks again, and I'd love to talk further ... maybe once this story has concluded?

Alli
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Old 02-11-2018, 12:38 PM   #17
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Default Day 9

Ten days last summer


Wednesday 9th August 2017


As soon as Dad took his sock off my foot, I knew where I’d be going this morning!

“We’ve got to get that fixed!” he told me, as he removed the blood-soaked dressing. “Get yourself up and dressed, then we’ll grab a quick breakfast and go straight to A&E! Hopefully it won’t be too busy and we can be back before we’ve lost too much of the day!”

Poor Holly!

Over breakfast, plans were made: Dad would take Holly to the hospital, whilst the rest of us would head over the road to the beach. That would keep the littlies amused while we waited for Holly to get her foot re-stitched. Depending on how long that took, and what she was told by the doctor, we could maybe do something else afterwards.

Dad and Holly set off as early as they could. I was given the job of keeping the littlies out of mischief while Jenny got everything together for a morning at the beach.


We got to the hospital and were relieved to see it wasn’t as busy as it had been the other afternoon. Nevertheless, Dad told me to expect to be there for quite some time. We talked a bit, and I kept up with my WhatsApp, as we waited.

Down on the beach, I was helping the littlies with their sandcastles; my mind was elsewhere, as thoughts of Holly, Jake and Caitlin swirled round in my head. There were so many things going on, it was like I was caught in some sort of emotional whirlwind! Everything was blowing around wildly, and I had no way, it seemed, of gaining any sort of control over it!

At least, though, I had an idea of how I could cheer Holly up.

I enlisted the help of Zack and Gracie. “Shall we do something fun that will make Holly laugh?” I suggested to them. They were really keen. “Okay,” I told them, “I need you to help me dig a really big hole!”

We shovelled sand until we had a hole that I thought was big enough and deep enough. Then I got Zack to sit in it.

“Zack,” I asked him, “is it okay if we cover you with sand?” He said it was, so we shovelled the sand back over until he was buried up to his neck! Gracie was having a ball, burying her brother! For the finishing touch I got Gracie to fetch me the biggest bucket we’d got.

“Now, put it over Zack’s head,” I told her, “so we can’t see him at all!”

Delightedly, she did just that. I snapped a pic quickly, then told her to take the bucket off, and I snapped another pic. We then dug Zack out.

I showed the littlies the pics, which they loved, and then sent them, one after the other, to Holly’s WhatsApp.


Why was Freya sending me a picture of a bucket?

I was still wondering this, when another image arrived. When I saw it, I burst out laughing, and immediately showed Dad. He laughed too, and I messaged Freya.

‘Thanks! You’ve cheered me up no end! Looks like you’re having a lot of fun! Dad says, keep him there! Love you!! xxx'

I showed the littlies Holly’s reply, and we were all happy that we’d cheered her up a bit.

When I checked my phone, some while later, I saw I’d got a text from Jake. Eagerly, I read it.

‘Hi Freya. You’re probably busy, but I’m at a loose end on my own in the caravan. The others have gone shopping. Just wondered if you’re free, maybe you’d like to come over? Love Jake xxx’

I really wanted to go! I decided to see if I could use Jenny’s wicked stepmother fears to my advantage!

“Jenny,” I said, “is it okay if I go back to the site for a bit? Something’s come up with one of my friends and I’d like to help. Would that be alright?”

She agreed much more readily than I was expecting. “That’s fine, Freya! I’ll text you if you’re not back when your Dad and Holly return. Just make sure you’re back by lunchtime anyway!”

The littlies were disappointed to see me go, but they’d soon get over it.


Things were going slowly at the hospital. But it looked more promising when a nurse came over and gave us a fresh absorbent pad. “I’ll make sure you’re seen next!” he promised.

Jake let me in and we sat on the sofa and cuddled for ages. My heart was beating fast, as I sat there hoping he would make the first move and kiss me. He seemed uncertain, so I decided to give him a nudge, so to speak.

“It’s okay if you want to kiss me,” I told him, “I’d like that!”

That was the signal he’d been looking for. He leant in and our lips met. A shiver ran down my spine, and a warm glow started to envelop me. We broke off and gazed into each other’s eyes, then kissed again. We kept that up for ages, kissing, gazing, kissing, gazing … occasionally talking as well.


The doctor put a different type of stitch in this time. It would hold better, she told us, and would allow me to walk around on it without a problem. The downside was that we would have to make an appointment at the doctor’s surgery back home to have them taken out. She dressed the wound and taped the dressing in place. Then she put a covering over it, and let us go.

He put his hand on my chest and gently massaged my t-shirt over my breasts. Mmmm, that was nice! After a while, he took his hand away and looked at me, pleadingly. I knew what he was asking, and I obliged. I took off my t-shirt to reveal my bikini top, and placed his hand back on my breasts.

Whether it was deliberate or not, I didn’t know and I didn’t care: while he was fondling me, my bikini string came undone and it fell away from me, leaving me topless. I was getting hopelessly turned on by now!

I took his shirt off him and let my hands run over his chest. Then I pulled him to me so my breasts pressed against his skin, and we kissed again.

I knew where this was most likely heading, and I knew I wanted it! I fervently hoped he did too!


We arrived back at the caravan, and Dad rang Jenny to make plans. I went to our room.

We stripped each other of our remaining clothes, and began running our hands over the other’s naked body. Energy was coursing through my body as I became more and more aroused. I looked down and it was obvious from what I saw that Jake was also very aroused!

As I sat on my bed, my eyes fell on a small blue wooden cube. It was one of the pieces from Amber’s Pictionary game. She must have dropped it and we hadn’t noticed it. I resolved to make sure I returned it. I picked it up, grabbed a pound coin, went into the living area, and told Dad what I was doing.

“I’m just going to the little shop. There’s something I need to get! Won’t be long!”

I pressed myself up against him, feeling his body tight against mine. I could feel his penis hot and hard against my stomach. We kissed some more as my hand strayed and I began to fondle his balls. He put his hands on my bum and squeezed my cheeks. I wanted this! I so wanted him!

I bought a small envelope, popped the cube inside, and sealed it. Then I asked the lady in the shop if I could borrow a pen, and wrote ‘Amber’ on the envelope. I set off for Amber’s caravan, having decided to leave it there, in case I didn’t see her at the hang-out later.

Jake laid down on the sofa, and I straddled him. I stroked his penis to make him really hard, and then guided it into me, savouring the moment when my labia were pushed apart by the tip of his penis. I allowed myself to slide down the full length of him, until I was resting against his body, then began rocking myself back and forth. He started to thrust, and I responded by bouncing on him. We both knew we weren’t going to last long. I felt a tingling start to overwhelm me, and it quickly became a crescendo of sexual energy that set my nerve-endings ablaze. Then a warmth splashed against the inside of my vagina as he ejaculated into me.

That was when I heard the door open …


It was only when I got there that I realised there was no letter box for me to put the envelope through! More out of hope than expectation I tried the door. It opened. I stepped in, intending to leave the envelope just inside for her to find. Instinctively, I looked over into the living area and ...

“OH MY GOD!!!” I screamed.

… OH MY GOD!!!

I stood for just a second or two, taking in the scene. It was obvious what was going on! In fact, I could see in pornographic detail what was going on! The image imprinted itself permanently on my mind. I turned and fled.

The instant I heard Holly’s voice my mind flew into a panic. I turned my head just in time to see her running out. I climbed off Jake and stood, not knowing what to do. I wanted to run after her, but in my naked state I couldn’t do that. Instead I just broke down, crying.

Jake put his arm around my shoulder; I pushed it off. I collected up my clothes and began putting them on.

“Freya!” he began.

“No!” I shouted at him. “No! Don’t say anything!”

“But, please!” he continued.

“I said no!” I yelled.

As soon as I was decent, I picked up my shoes and left as quickly as I could. I hurried past a couple of caravans, then ducked behind a third to finish dressing myself.

I had no idea where Holly had gone, and I had no idea what I was going to do now!


I just ran. I didn’t know where I was running to, that wasn’t important! What mattered was what I was running from!

I decided to go back to our caravan. If Holly was there, then Dad would be there, and God only knows what would happen when I turned up! But I couldn’t think of anywhere else to go!

I’d almost got there when I heard a voice calling from behind me.

“Freya, hi!” Alice said. “I’m glad I’ve seen you!”

“Oh, er, hi!” I replied, turning towards her.

I must have looked a mess, because Alice looked concerned as she said, “Are you okay, Freya?”

“Oh, it’s just …” I said, “…yes, … I don’t know, … you haven’t seen Holly, have you?”

“Holly? No! Why?” she answered.

All I could say was, “Oh!”

“Anyway,” Alice changed the subject, “what I was going to ask you was, did you mean what you said the other night? You know, about wanting to try swimming naked with us?”

In my confused, panicked state, Alice’s question threw me completely!

“What? Why?” I said.

She answered the second question. “Well, there’s a naturist beach at Studland, not too far from here, and we’re going there and I wondered if you wanted to come. There’s no pressure! No-one’s going to force you to go naked or anything! Lots of people who go there don’t. It’s just somewhere you can if you want. What do you say?”

All I could think of was that this would be a great way to put off the inevitable trauma that was coming my way at some time today.

So I said, “Yeah, let me ask my Dad!”

“Well, can you be quick, because we’re about to go!” Alice urged.

“I’ll do it right now!” I told her. “Wait there!”


I reached the top of the site where we met for the hang-out. Being lunchtime, there was no-one there. I could run no further, both because I’d reached the end of the site and because my foot was killing me. I slumped to the ground and began to cry.

“Dad, can I go out with Alice and her family this afternoon, please?” I asked as I burst into our caravan.

“Woah, easy tiger!” he said. “Have you seen Holly?”

“No!” I lied. “Can I go?”

“Aren’t you going to wait for Holly?”

“I don’t know where she is,” I said, “and I need to let them know now because they’re about to go! Please?”

“Okay, if that’s what you want!” he told me. “I’ll tell Holly when she gets back. If you see her first and she wants to go with you, that’s fine, just tell her to text me and let me know.”

“Thanks, I will.”

I ran back to Alice and told her I was coming with them. She was delighted.

Perhaps the distraction would help!


My mind was in turmoil, and there were so many emotions bashing me about I couldn’t keep up! But mainly I was angry! Angry with Freya for doing what she’d done! Angry with Jake for taking advantage of her! But mostly angry with me, for the stupid decisions I’d made: to return Amber’s cube; to go to their caravan; to open the door; to scream like I had! Stupid! Stupid me!

All the way to Studland, Alice and Hannah tried to put me at my ease. Little did they know that it wasn’t the thought of the naturist beach that was bothering me! I was too busy playing out dozens of different possible scenarios that might occur when I got back. None of them were good!

Why? Why? Why? I tortured myself with question after unanswerable question. Why had Freya done that? Why had I reacted like I did? Most of all, why couldn’t I just go back to breakfast time and start the day again?

We left the car in the car park, grabbed the bits out of the boot, and walked along the hard sand near the water’s edge. After about 10 minutes, there was a sign warning that naturists may be seen beyond this point. We walked for a couple more minutes, then turned up the beach and found ourselves a nice spot. The adults put up the windbreaks and we all laid our towels out in the shelter of them.

Hannah looked at Alice, and Alice signalled for her to wait and then she turned to me.

“Freya, are you okay with us being naked?” she asked.

Regardless of how I was feeling, I wasn’t about to stop them doing what they’d come here for, so I said, “Yeah, of course I am!”

They smiled, and Hannah immediately stripped off. Her body was a wonder to behold, lithe and deliciously tanned! With no tan lines, I realised! Alice was also now naked, and she, too, looked fabulous! She had more pronounced hips and bust than her younger sister, and she was bronzed all over as well. The two of them looked amazing, and I told them so.

I took off my t-shirt and shorts, leaving me in my bikini, and turned around. I came face to face with Alice’s and Hannah’s dad, naked. I didn’t know where to look!

Seeing my embarrassment, Alice leant against my shoulder and whispered, “Just look! Everyone does to start with! People say they don’t, but they do! Men or women, I always look at their boobs and bits! Just don’t stare for too long or make it too obvious!”

“Thanks!” I replied, still feeling a little uncertain of myself.


My phone pinged. It was a text from Dad. I read it.

‘Have you gone with Freya? I did ask you to text me. Let me know.’

Not knowing what he was on about, I texted back, ‘No, sorry, I didn’t know. See you in a bit.’

Did that mean Freya wasn’t at the caravan? Was it safe for me to go back?

Sat on my towel, surrounded by my naked friends and their naked parents, with dozens of other naked people on the beach around us, I felt very out of place in my bikini. I had noticed one other woman wearing her bikini, but she looked just as overdressed as I felt. Without making a big thing of it, I untied my bikini top and pulled it off, then knelt and took off my bottoms as well. As I laid back down on my stomach, Alice looked across at me and smiled one of the friendliest smiles I think I’ve ever seen.

Cautiously, I opened the door of our caravan and peered inside. Dad was sat on the sofa in the main living area. I went in.

“Ah, you’re back at last!” he said. “I take it Freya didn’t find you then!”

“No!” I told him, truthfully. I didn’t want to lie to Dad, but there was a whole lot of stuff I didn’t want to tell him either! “I’m going to our room for a bit,” I added.

As we lounged there, Alice and I exchanged numbers, added each other to our WhatsApp, and friended each other on Facebook. After we’d been there for maybe half-an-hour, she asked, “Are you ready to come swimming with us?”

It would mean walking down to the sea, with lots of eyes on naked me, but I’d come this far and I didn’t want to let anyone else down today. I’d done enough of that already!

“Okay!” I said and stood up. Alice and Hannah got up and together we made our way to the water’s edge. I noticed how they made sure that I was always between the two of them, as if they were protecting me a bit.


“Are you alright, Holly?” Dad asked, leaning over me.

I was laying on my bed, face buried in the pillow, sobbing. He must have heard me.

I turned over and looked at him, my tear-stained face lined with creases made by the pillow.

“Mmm,” I replied, non-committedly, “it’s just, today’s not been good!”

“I know, sweetie!” he said, stroking my head.

No, you don’t! You really don’t!

Swimming and splashing around in the sea, naked, was a lot of fun! Actually, quite quickly I forgot I was naked, except when I looked at Hannah or Alice and remembered I had no clothes on either. Otherwise it was just the three of us larking around in the sea, like any other group of teenage girls. We just happened to be naked, that’s all!

When we got out, though, I really appreciated the advantages of swimming naked. There was no horrible wet material clinging to you and no need to do the towel-dance contortions; you just stood in the sun and drip-dried. Wonderful! This naturist thing wasn’t as bad as I’d feared!


Dad had persuaded me to come with him to join Jenny and the littlies on the beach. Their fun and games at least helped to distract me for a while. But I was dreading this evening!

When, eventually, it was time to pack up and head home, I was slightly disappointed to have to get dressed again.

Alice laughed when I told her. “We’ll make a naturist out of you yet, Freya!” she said.

Despite the really pleasant company, the journey back to the site got progressively more horrible as I got closer to what I knew awaited me.


We were just sitting down for tea when she walked in.

As I entered our caravan, I could see the others sat around the table.

“Ah, Freya,” said Jenny, “you’re just in time! I’ve made you some, so join us when you’re ready!”

Remembering what had happened to Hannah the previous day, I had come up with a plan.

“Actually,” I told them, “I don’t feel well! I think I’ve had too much sun! I’m going to lie down in our room, if that’s alright!?”

“Yes, of course, sweetie!” Dad said, and he got up and accompanied me into our room. He pulled the curtains to darken the room. “Maybe see if you can have a little sleep,” he told me, “I’ll check in on you a bit later.”


Was she really unwell or was she just avoiding me? I didn’t know, and part of me didn’t care! After tea I helped Gracie do some drawing and then headed to the hang-out.

I heard Holly go out, presumably to the hang-out. I couldn’t go, obviously! But even if I’d not been faking sunstroke, it would have been too awkward going with her; and I didn’t want to see Jake either!

I’d gone earlier than we often did, so when I arrived there weren’t many others: Alice and Hannah were there, and Caitlin was sat apart (as usual!) on her phone (as usual!). Alice asked where Freya was, so I repeated what she’d told us about having sunstroke.

Alice giggled and said, “Yes, she definitely got more sun than she’s used to!”

I didn’t get the joke, if that’s what it was meant to be!

When Amber arrived, without Jake, I was pleased, because I hadn’t been at all sure what, if anything, I was going to say to him. Amber seemed to be trying to avoid making eye contact with me, I noticed. Did she know?

It wasn’t long before Marcie and Beckett arrived, and then, last as usual, TeeJay turned up. That was who I’d been waiting for! It was the last evening of our holiday, and therefore my last chance to see everyone, and I wanted to spend as much time with TeeJay as I could.

Unless it was my imagination playing tricks on me, Caitlin seemed to keep glancing across at me, but I ignored her and she didn’t move from where she was sat on her own.

Just before 8 o’clock my phone pinged. I picked it up and saw I had a text from Caitlin. Hurriedly I read it: ‘Are you coming? I was hoping to see you.’

I knew I had to go, no matter who else might be there! I got up and wandered into the living area. There was no-one there. I could hear Jenny putting the littlies to bed. I stepped outside and found Dad sat in a fold-up chair.

“Freya,” he asked, “how are you feeling?”

“A lot better, thanks!” I replied.

“Good!”

“Can I go to the hang-out, just to say goodbye, seeing as it’s our last night? Please?”

“If you feel up to it!”

“I do,” I told him, and he said I could go.


I saw her approaching. What was this, a miracle recovery? I kept talking with TeeJay and didn’t even look at her. Out of the corner of my eye I watched as she spoke briefly with Alice and then went over and sat next to Caitlin.

After saying “hi!” to Alice and telling her I’d come and talk in a while, I made my way over to Caitlin, and sat down beside her and said “hi!”.

“Hi!” she said, “I didn’t think you were coming!”

“I wasn’t going to,” I said, “until I got your text!”

She put her phone away and turned to look at me. Golly! I was getting her full attention!

“Why?” she asked.

“Something happened today!” I told her.

“Between you and Holly?”

“Kind of!”

“What happened?” There was something in her eyes, something different, that made me want to tell her.

“I did something really stupid,” I explained, “and now she’s not talking to me!”

“God, I thought you two were so close!” she remarked. “What did you do?”

That was the trigger for me to unload! I told her everything that had happened, becoming more tearful as the tale unfolded, till I was just blubbing away.

She put her arms around me and pulled me into her, giving me a tender hug.

“I’m sure you’ll work it out!” she said, trying to comfort me. “You might just have to give it a bit of time, you know?!”

I sniffed and nodded. By now my crying had attracted Alice’s attention and she’d come over to see what was going on.

“Something’s upset her today!” Caitlin told Alice.

Alice looked alarmed. “Oh, no! It’s not …” she began.

I looked up at her. “It’s not anything you’ve done,” I reassured her, “I loved this afternoon!”


I saw Alice rush over to Freya and Caitlin. When I looked across, Caitlin was holding Freya tightly to her. Freya was crying her eyes out. I had to fight really hard to hold back my own tears. TeeJay looked at me, anxiously.

“What’s the matter, Holly?” she asked.

“I don’t want to talk about it!” I told her. “I can’t! Sorry!”

She held me and hugged me.

“I just want to go home!” I told Alice and Caitlin, tears streaming down my face.

“I’ll take her!” Caitlin told Alice.

Alice hugged me. “Text me or Facebook or something!” she instructed.

I promised I would, and then me and Caitlin started back towards my caravan.

All the way there, she was trying to comfort me and tell me things would work out. I wanted to believe her, I really did, but I couldn’t see how!


When Caitlin and Freya left, my instinct was to go running after them and wrap my arms around Freya. But something was stopping me: that imprinted image on my mind. I couldn’t get it out of my head, no matter how much I wanted it to go away!

TeeJay twigged that something very odd was going on.

“Has something happened, Holly?” she asked.

“Uh?” I replied.

“Between you and Freya!” she clarified. “Something’s happened between you, hasn’t it?!”

I couldn’t answer! I just broke down, crying.

“Freya, what on earth’s the matter?” my Dad asked, when Caitlin delivered me, sobbing, to him.

“Something’s really upset her!” Caitlin told him, stating the obvious. “She wanted to come back, so I brought her.”

“Thank you,” Dad told her, “we really appreciate that!”

Caitlin left, and Dad asked again, “What’s upset you, Freya?”

“I just want to go to bed!” I told him, and rushed inside and into our room.


“Holly, not you as well!” Dad exclaimed, as I turned up, tearfully, with TeeJay holding my arm.

“Thank you for bringing her home,” he told TeeJay, “it was very kind of you!”

“It’s nothing!” TeeJay replied. “Can I have your phone a minute, Holly?” she asked me.

I gave it to her. She added herself to my contacts and then sent herself a text so she’d have my number on her phone.

“I’ll text you,” she told me, “and don’t you dare ignore it!”

“I won’t,” I promised her, adding, “bye, and thanks!” as she began to walk off.

“What is going on, Holly?” Dad asked.

“Not now!” I told Dad. “In the morning, but not now, please!”

He relented, and I slunk off to our room.

I was already in bed when I heard Holly come in. I pretended to be asleep. Not that I actually got any sleep that night!

Freya was in bed. I don’t know if she was awake or not, but I didn’t want to talk to her anyway! I got into my pyjamas and went to bed. I was awake for hours, with that damn image stuck in my head!
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Old 02-11-2018, 07:59 PM   #18
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Originally Posted by Curtis View Post
5) This has turned out to be a really good story, especially considering that is has NO SEX WHATSOEVER!!!
Well, my timing on that one was truly spectacular! You must've gotten a good giggle out it.

One of the things we may end up discussing after the final chapter is just why the twins are so upset. I can understand Jake's apparent reaction; he seems to be avoiding the hangout out of simple embarrassment.

The twins I'm having some difficulty with. Freya seems to be beyond embarrassed and well into mortified. I can kind out see that, as nobody wants to be caught in that sort of a pants-down situation. I was, by my sister, mother and her mother, when I was about thirteen, but you acknowledge your mistake, resolve never to be that foolish again, and get on with it. I don't blame Freya for getting caught up in her feelings and losing track of everything else, but I noticed immediately that the door hadn't been locked and thought, "She's probably going to regret that." It's nice to be right every once in a while.

Holly, though, is a complete puzzlement. She seems more angry than anything else, and I'm not seeing how anger is an appropriate reaction to this situation. If she'd also been making mooneyes at Jake, then okay, but she seemed completely indifferent to him.

She thinks Jake has 'taken advantage' of Holly, but that seems unreasonable (of course, sometimes people ARE unreasonable, and that can make for good drama). a) Freya was on top, so she wasn't being taken against her will; b) Holly had known for days — both by word and by deed — that Freya was sweet on Jake; and c) at least in America, it's acknowledged that in a relationship between teens of similar age in which violence or threats of violence are not involved, the power in the relationship lies with the girl.

(This isn't just my perception, though it may be an age-related observation. Back when I was at university I had several long conversations with a female student half again my age who had a daughter not greatly younger than me, and within the past decade a similar series of talks with my best friend, who's a woman four years older than me with twin daughter nearing forty along with two sons close to that age. The woman back in college said, "Yes, but we don't like to talk about it," and my friend just said, "Of course, everybody knows that." All three of us were born from 1950 to 1960, and maybe the dynamic is different now, but it wasn't a quarter of a century ago when my friends daughters were in their teens.)

Where was I? Oh, yes. Holly's reaction to Freya is even more puzzling to me than her reaction to Jake. It reads to me like a combination of feeling angry and betrayed — and probably angry BECAUSE she feels betrayed. Why? What's Freya done to her? Maybe my failure to relate is due to not having any close, supportive relationships when I was her age. I've never had a twin, and although my sister and I were only a year apart and forced to spend an inordinate amount of time together growing up (out in the country with no near neighbors), our relationship was much more competitive than supportive. To put it bluntly, until we went off to high school we spent most of our time at daggers drawn.

Is this because Freya had an important experience without sharing it with Holly? Unlikely, as did Holly expect that either of them would lose their virginity (I'm assuming!) with the other in the room? As the King of Siam says in "The King and I", "It is… a puzzlement!"
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Old 02-15-2018, 11:32 AM   #19
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Angry

Hi everyone.
Just to let you know I've suffered total laptop failure, so will be unable to post any further parts of the story until it is fixed. The repair place said a week, so ...
I thought it was only right of me to let you all know, so that you don't think I've just abandoned the story and you - I very much haven't.
Thanks for being understanding about this, and, once again, sorry!
Alli
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Old 02-15-2018, 12:44 PM   #20
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noooooooo it's such a cliffhanger moment
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Old 02-25-2018, 06:18 AM   #21
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Default I'm back!


Well, after one repaired laptop and 168 Windows Updates later (yes, really!) I've finally regained control of things!
So, please find below the next, much-delayed, instalment of the story.
Thanks for being patient!
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Old 02-25-2018, 06:24 AM   #22
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Default Day 10

Ten days last summer


Thursday 10th August 2017


I looked across at Freya. It looked like she was still asleep. I got up as quietly as I could and went into the living area. Gracie was already up, and when she saw me she wanted me to read her a story from her book. I sat on the sofa and waited for her to climb onto my lap, then began reading.

I heard Holly leave our room. I took a chance that she wouldn’t come straight back in, got up and began dressing. Since we were leaving today, I got my suitcase out and started packing. Hopefully I would get as much of it done as I could before Holly returned. I still didn’t know if I could face her yet!

Dad came out from his and Jenny’s room. When he saw me, he said, “I think we need to have a talk, don’t we?”

“Can I just finish reading Gracie her story?” I asked, trying to put it off a bit longer.

“Okay, but then we talk!” he told me, and I watched him knock on the door to our room.

I’d got a horrible sicky feeling in my stomach.

“Come in!” I called when I heard a knock on the door, assuming that it wouldn’t be Holly.

Dad came in. “Now, young lady, what was all that about last night?”

I tried a desperate-but-obvious avoidance tactic.

“Dad, can it wait? I really need the loo!”

I doubt if he believed me, but he kind of had to let me go, didn’t he?


Freya came rushing out of our room and into the toilet. When Dad came back out, he didn’t seem happy!

“I will get to the bottom of this!” he told me. I was duly warned!

With Freya in the loo, I took the opportunity to get dressed quickly. I noticed that she’d almost finished packing her suitcase. I’d do mine later, then, when she was out of the way.

Ping! (Yes, I did take my phone into the loo with me!) It was a text from Alice.

‘Sorry I won’t see you before you go. We’re just going out for the day. Hope everything gets sorted between you and Holly. Catch up with you later. Lots of hugs. xx.’

I was really sad that I wouldn’t be able to say goodbye to Alice and Hannah. But it made me more determined that I would go and see Caitlin before we left.


“I’m not hungry,” I told Jenny when she asked me what I wanted for breakfast. I was, but I didn’t want to be trapped at the breakfast table, unable to avoid Dad’s questions!

Freya came back into our room to finish her packing. She didn’t acknowledge me, so I quickly finished dressing and exited.

Dad was talking with Jenny in their room.

“I don’t know what’s going on, they keep trying to avoid telling me!” he was saying.

“Well, it’s creating an atmosphere!” Jenny told him. “You need to sort it!”

“Maybe it’s best if we just pack up and go home straight after breakfast!” he suggested. “We might have more chance of getting to the bottom of it once we’re all back home!”

“I think that’s a good idea!” she told him. “Let’s do that!”

When I found out we were leaving straight after breakfast, I told Jenny I wasn’t hungry and said, “I’ve done my packing already, so can I go and say goodbye to Caitlin while the rest of you pack? I’ll only be like fifteen minutes.”

I think she thought that if she let me go it might ease the tension in the caravan for a while, so she told me to be back in no more than twenty minutes.


With Freya gone, I got on with my packing. I wanted to say goodbye to TeeJay, but I knew I wasn’t going to have time. So I texted her instead, to let her know I was going to have to leave without properly saying goodbye. She sent me a text back saying she understood.

As I approached Caitlin’s caravan, I glanced in the window and was horrified by what I saw. A man, Caitlin’s dad presumably, was hitting Caitlin across the top of her back, really hard. I ducked down, out of sight, and crawled behind the next caravan.

I had to do something, but what could I do? I couldn’t just go there and confront him! I considered running back to our caravan and fetching Dad, but what if they all denied it? I wouldn’t be able to prove anything! I didn’t know what to do! In the end I resorted to every teenager’s best friend: my phone!

‘Hi Caitlin, text me please, it’s really REALLY urgent.’ I texted. I just hoped she’d get a chance to read it before we left.

I sat there, willing the phone to ping … and a couple of minutes or so later it did! I checked it eagerly, and my face fell. It was Lottie sending me a WhatsApp picture of her hamster, sat on her shoulder, sniffing her ear. I never thought I’d be disappointed to hear from my best friend, but right at that moment I was gutted it wasn’t Caitlin!

Wait a moment! A picture! That’s it! I take a picture! That way I’ve got proof!

I crept back to Caitlin’s caravan, got my phone at the ready, stood up and took a quick look in the window. There was no-one to be seen. Bum! Too late! Why hadn’t I thought of it when I’d first looked in?

I looked at my watch; I had eight minutes before I had to be back. Why wasn’t Caitlin replying? Was she still being beaten? Or was she just ignoring me?

I sent another text: ‘Please Caitlin, text me NOW.’


I watched my phone, urging it to ping, frantically waiting for Caitlin to reply … but nothing!

Another text: ‘CAITLIN!!!’ Still nothing. Five minutes.

I sent yet another text.


My phone pinged. I looked and saw it was Freya. I ignored it. Thirty seconds later it pinged again. Again Freya. Again I ignored it. Ping! I threw the phone onto the bed and fetched the last few clothes out of the drawers.

Ping! I folded the clothes into the case. Ping! Damn she was persistent! Ping!

Six times I texted Holly, and six times she ignored me! Desperately I looked at my watch: two minutes. Even if I ran all the way, I’d be late! I had to go now! Reluctantly I got up and began jogging back to our caravan.

‘Holly, please, now, I’m desperate’ I read. I scrolled back up. She’d sent me the same message four times.

My fingers skipped over the letters on the screen as I typed as quickly as I could. I kept it brief: ‘What’.

Ping! Finally!! I stopped and looked at the screen. ‘What’. From Holly. Damn!

‘Too late’ I texted back, and set off at a run.


What the hell did ‘Too late’ mean? What had she done? I rushed out, through the living area, and headed for the door.

“Where do you think you’re going?” called Jenny.

I ignored her. I had to find Freya! Alive, hopefully!

I hurtled out of the caravan and ran straight into her.

As I reached our caravan, Holly came charging out and knocked me flying. We both lay, sprawled on the ground. I couldn’t move, the breath knocked right out of me.

“What the hell do you two think you’re doing?!?” Dad yelled at us. “I’ve just about had enough of the pair of you! You,” he added, pointing at me, “go and finish your packing; and you,” he said turning to Freya, “can either tell me what’s going on or you can go and sit in the car until we’re ready to go!”

I wanted to wait long enough to see which option Freya was going to choose, but Dad glared at me, so I scurried inside to finish packing. I was relieved to hear a car door shut half-a-minute later.

I sat in the back of the car, shaking. I couldn’t cope with all this! I kept looking at my phone, still waiting for something, anything, from Caitlin. If it came, I was even prepared to risk Dad’s anger and run back to her if necessary. But my phone remained stubbornly silent.

I don’t know how long I sat there in disgrace, but eventually the others began to take their places. Holly sat as far apart from me as she could, and didn’t say anything.


I was ready to talk about it. But not there, not then, not with everyone else present! I wasn’t, however, prepared to carry on as if nothing had happened. We had to talk about it first. So I continued to give Freya the silent treatment.

We set off, and, of course, no more than ten minutes into our journey, my phone pinged! Caitlin had replied! Too late! Why is life so horrible?

‘Are you alright?’ it said.

Am I alright!?!

‘Yes. What about you?’ I sent back.

‘Fine’ she texted.

Another text arrived before I could reply: ‘I was worried about you’.

‘Are you really alright?’ I typed.

‘Yes I’m fine, why?’

‘Don’t lie to me Caitlin.’

‘I’m not.’

‘You are. I saw.’

There was a longer pause before the next text arrived.

‘What do you mean?’

This was it! I had to do it! But I was really scared of how she’d respond.

‘I saw your dad hitting you’ I typed, but paused before I pressed send. Did I dare send it? I agonised for maybe thirty seconds, then released the message into the virtual world.

It was done! There was no going back now!

There was no reply. I waited. A minute. Two. Three. Still nothing.

‘You need to tell someone.’ I sent.

Still Caitlin didn’t reply.

‘I want to help you.’

Nothing.

‘Please let me help.’

Still nothing.

‘Caitlin, you have to get out of there.’

Clearly, she was ignoring me! But I wasn’t finished just yet!

‘Caitlin, I will do ANYTHING to help you. Always remember that.’

I knew I wasn’t going to get a reply, and I didn’t really know what else I could do. In total desperation I sent one last text.

‘If you need somewhere safe to stay, I live at 8 High Green Drive, Bradwell Common, Milton Keynes, MK13 8GE.’

I don’t know what I thought I was doing sending her my address, and the more I thought about it afterwards, the more stupid it seemed, and the more I wished I hadn’t done it.

But, then, that wasn’t the only stupid thing I wished I hadn’t done!
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Old 02-25-2018, 02:45 PM   #23
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Well now, isn't THIS interesting. I'm so unacustomed to smart phones (all I have is a landline) that taking a picture never ocurred to me.

Freya using her phone to call Caitlyn while Caitlyn was being beaten just confused me. Did she think the phone dinging would interrupt the father? I thought Freya was going to call her father, or Jenny (probably not) or Holly to come to Caitlyn's place after she rejected running home to fetch her father. I would've called everyone I knew in the hopes that one of them would get there in time to witness. Can smartphones do that? Like a 'reply all' feature for phoning or texting?

I was in a not-really-similar situation thirty years ago when I was on vacation at my father's parent's place. I went for a walk with my youngest cousin, who proceeded to tell me stories about going to parties with her older brother and doing cocaine. She was 15 and he was 21 and dishonorably discharged from the navy. (He's since gotten married for the second time, and his wife has straightened him around marvelously.) On our way home I told my parents and older sister the tale, and they encouraged me to write a letter to my cousins' mother, which was one of the hardest things I've ever done.

Well, my cousin didn't speak to me for about three years, and she got arrested with her boyfriend for breaking into 150 cars one weekend, but eventually she gave up cocaine for tobacco (and got cancer, so I don't know if I did her any favors) and started talking to me again, and now it's like she doesn't remember that it happened.

As I said, not really similar, but it did involve a moral dilemna about telling secrets.

And, totally off the topic, but where did the 'Thanks' button go? I used it once in someone else's story thread last night, then when I wanted it a second time it had vanished, and now it's still gone!
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Old 03-01-2018, 02:27 PM   #24
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Default Epilogue (i)

Ten days last summer


Monday 14th August 2017


I was at Lottie’s, playing with her hamster. Again! By which I don’t mean that we were playing with her hamster again, but that I was at Lottie’s again!

Since I’d got back from our holiday, I’d spent most of my waking hours at Lottie’s. Avoiding Holly.

Despite his assertions to the contrary, Dad hadn’t got to the bottom of it, and the tension between me and my twin was still festering away.

It was all my fault! I felt terribly guilty about what I’d done, and even more guilty that Holly had seen what she’d seen. I was desperately unhappy, but I knew there was no way things could go back to how they’d been before. How it was now was awful, but how it might be in the future scared me so much I couldn’t bring myself to face it.

So I took refuge at Lottie’s. I’d explained to her that I’d done something really stupid that had massively upset Holly. She’d listened sympathetically, as best friends do, and offered to help in any way she could. Simply providing me a bolthole to escape to was more help than she could possibly imagine.

My phone pinged. Instinctively I grabbed it and took a look. It was a text from Caitlin! My heart missed several beats as I read the message.

‘Did you mean what you put in your texts?’

Without thinking I immediately replied: ‘yes of course I did’.

Just to emphasise the point I sent another text: ‘every word’.

A ping told me she’d replied. It was a simple one-word reply: ‘thanks’.

I stayed at Lottie’s all day. After putting the hamster to bed, we spent the morning just chilling together. Lottie’s mum and dad both worked, so we had the house to ourselves. We made some lunch, and sat out in the garden. Late in the afternoon, we decided to go out.

Just over a mile away is Lodge Lake, which is a sort of park place based around a lake, surprisingly enough! It’s got a Trim Trail, which Lottie and I like to use. So that’s where we went.

It’s a really nice place, and as you walk around the lake, there are different pieces of equipment to help you do a range of simple exercises to boost your all-round fitness. I think, really, you’re supposed to jog round, but we just walk! But we do like doing the different exercises!

We’d just done the Ladder Climb, when my phone pinged.

It was Holly. What did she want?


I was in my room when the doorbell went.

“My room”. The very fact that I was calling it that showed how bad things were between me and Freya. It had always been “our room”, yet now it was “my room”. My own stubbornness and stupidity had stopped me from making the first move, when we first got back from holiday. Since then, it seemed, it was becoming increasingly difficult to speak to her, because she was always at Lottie’s; and the longer it went on, the worse I felt about not talking, but the harder it was to have that conversation. So, she’d moved out of our room and into the spare room. Stupidly, I’d let her. I wished I hadn’t! But, then, there were lots of things I wished I had or hadn’t done and had or hadn’t said!

I was the only one home. The littlies were out with Jenny somewhere and Dad was at work. I made my way down the stairs and across to the front door. I opened it and stood open-mouthed at the sight that greeted me.

Caitlin.

With a large travel bag on the doorstep beside her.

“Oh!” she said, clearly disappointed to see me at the door. “I was looking for Freya.”

“She’s out!” I told her. “At Lottie’s I expect!” Not that that meant anything to Caitlin, of course.

“Oh!” she said, again, appearing unsure what to do next.

“Why don’t you ring her? You’ve got her number, haven’t you?” I asked.

“Er, yeah,” she said. Suddenly she seemed to become more sure of herself. “It was a stupid idea,” she said, more to herself than to me, “forget it!” She picked up her bag and walked back down the path.

I watched as she turned left and headed down the road. I didn’t know what was going on, but I knew Freya would want to know about it. I grabbed my phone and texted her.

‘Caitlin’s just been here. Thought you’d want to know.’

I most certainly did want to know!

‘Is she still there?’ I texted back.

‘No she went when she found you weren’t here.’

‘Did you see where she went?’

‘Towards the Portway. I think she might be going to the station.’

If she was, there was a strong possibility that I could catch her before she got there. But I would run the risk that she was going somewhere else and I wouldn’t see her. I had to take that chance!

I sent one final text: ‘OK, thanks’. Then I set off, running in the direction of where I thought Caitlin would be. Lottie ran after me.

We ran through the small roads on the housing estate, across the cycle bridge and onto the road where I was hoping I’d be able to see her. I looked up and down it. There was no sign of her. Bum! Since I didn’t know exactly how long before Holly texted me she’d left, I decided I had to go in the direction of the station. Hopefully I could catch her there.

My legs were aching, I was breathing hard, and I had stitch. But I wouldn’t stop; I couldn’t stop! Lottie was the same. We rounded the next corner, and I spotted my target ahead of me.

“Caitlin!” I called at the top of my voice.

No response. I kept running.

“Caitlin! Wait!” I shouted again.

This time she stopped and turned. She saw me and dropped her bag on the floor.

As I reached her, I stopped and bent double, gasping for breath. Lottie flopped onto the pavement, holding her stomach. After a few moments, I lifted my head, looked at Caitlin, and smiled.

“I did it!” she told me. “I did it, Freya, like you told me to!”

I still couldn’t speak, so I just nodded and smiled even more widely.

“I got out!” she explained. “You said I had to get out of that situation, and I have!”

“Oh, fantastic!” I panted. “Good for you!”

Lottie had sat up and was watching the two of us.

“Only I’ve got nowhere to go!” Caitlin said.

My breathing was becoming easier now, enabling me to actually string a sentence together.

“What about your mum?” I asked.

“I can’t,” she told me. “She’s in prison.”

“Oh, I’m sorry!” I said, automatically.

“But I read your texts again,” Caitlin began, “and when you said this morning that you meant every word, I made up my mind.”

I began to put two and two together. In her roundabout way, she was asking if she could stay with us.

“Only when Holly answered the door, I realised it was a stupid idea,” she continued.

“No, it’s not,” I interrupted, “it’s not a stupid idea at all!”

“Are you sure?” she asked.

“Yeah,” I replied, not in the least bit sure at all, “positive! Come on!”

I picked up her bag and began walking in the direction of my house. Caitlin followed and took her bag from me, and Lottie picked herself up and joined us.

How was I going to do this? My mind was racing as we walked along. Obviously, I was going to have to talk to Dad; and Jenny, but Dad first! I decided to phone him. Hopefully I’d catch him before he left work. I selected his mobile from my contacts and pressed call.

It rang a few times before I heard him say, “Freya!”

“Hi, Dad,” I said cheerily, “have you got a minute?”

“I’ve always got time for you, sweetie,” he replied, “you know that.”

“Yeah,” I said, my voice becoming serious “only there’s something really important I need to talk to you about.”

“Ah, finally!” he said.

Oh God, no, he thinks I’m going to tell him about me and Holly! I was about to correct him, when I decided against it. This way at least he’d be guaranteed to want to talk!

“Not at home, though!” I told him.

“Okay, where?”

“How soon will you finish work?” I asked.

“I can leave now, if I need to,” he replied.

“Okay, come and find me on the rec,” I told him, “I’ll wait for you there. Bye!”

I ended the call and we headed for the rec.


Jenny and the littlies had returned, and I was playing Snap with Zack and Gracie, when I heard my phone ping. We finished that game, and Gracie collected the cards and threw them into the air. Then she set about picking them up, one at a time. That was her way of shuffling!

I took the chance to check my phone. There was a text from Freya.

‘Let me know when Dad gets home, please.’

My phone pinged again as I was about to type ‘okay’. It was Freya again.

‘It might be best if you ask him if you can come with him.’

That sounded very mysterious, but most likely it had something to do with Caitlin’s appearance earlier.

Twenty minutes later, I heard Dad’s car pull up. Gracie ran to the door to greet him, as usual. He picked her up and whirled her round, like he always does, then plonked her down on the sofa. After taking his jacket off and hanging it up, he went into the kitchen to talk to Jenny.

“I’ll see you in a bit!” he said when he emerged a few minutes later.

I intercepted him on his way to the door.

“Can I come with you?” I asked.

He looked puzzled.

“Freya told me to ask you,” I said.

“In that case,” he replied, “you’d better come!”

I didn’t know where we were going, but it was soon apparent that we were heading to the rec.

While we waited for my dad, I introduced Lottie and Caitlin properly. Caitlin wanted to know how things were between me and Holly, and Lottie told her how bad the situation had become.

“You have to sort it,” Caitlin said, “you two had such a good relationship; you can’t let that one thing ruin it!”

“That’s exactly what I keep telling her!” Lottie exclaimed.

Their mutual concern and care for me was the perfect icebreaker, and before long Caitlin and Lottie were on their way to becoming firm friends.


As we walked, I sent Freya a text. ‘We’re on our way’, I told her. I didn’t know what she was planning, but I wanted to give her every chance of making it work.

As soon as I’d got Holly’s text, I gave Lottie her instructions and left the two of them talking, as I walked over to the entrance to the rec. From there, Dad wouldn’t see Caitlin until I wanted him to. Fortunately, Holly had given me enough warning, and I got there shortly before she and Dad arrived.

Freya was waiting at the gate to the rec. All the time that she and Dad talked, I noticed that she avoided making eye contact with me.

“So, Freya,” Dad began, “what have you got to tell me?”

“Do you remember, on holiday, that last night, when Caitlin brought me back from the hang-out?” she asked him.

“I’m hardly likely to forget that!” he replied.

“No, I s’pose not,” she acknowledged. Continuing, she said, “Well, that was Caitlin, like I said, and well, basically, when I went to say goodbye to her on the morning we came home, well, I saw something, you know, something bad, and, well …”

Dad took hold of Freya’s hands, bent down slightly and looked her in the eye.

“Freya,” he said gently, “take your time, just tell me, slowly, what did you see?”

“I saw a man, I think it was her Dad, and now I know it was her Dad because she told me,” the words were just tumbling out of her mouth, “I saw him hitting her, like hitting her really hard, across her back, like really hard.”

“Okay, then what happened?” Dad asked.

“Then I knew I had to do something, but I didn’t know what, and, like, everything I tried didn’t work, and I knew I’d be told off if I was late, and so I couldn’t do anything and it was too late and we were going home, and I knew I’d been useless and I failed her and I wanted to help but I couldn’t and …”

It was fairly incoherent, but Dad was getting the gist of it.

“Go on, but try and slow down a bit. Let my tired old brain keep up, eh?” he said, trying to relax her a bit with some humour.

She smiled. “Sorry!” she said. “So on the way home I got a text from her, and basically I told her I wanted to help her…”

“Mm-hmm.”

“… and that she needed to get away from the situation so she wasn’t getting hit anymore, …”

“Mm-hmm.”

“… and, then, well, you’re probably not going to like this, but, then …” she was getting slower now, and was clearly very nervous about continuing.

“Go on, Freya,” Dad gently urged, “I’m listening.”

“Well, then, I said she needed to find somewhere safe to stay …”

“Mm-hmm.”

“… and I texted her our address.”

“Did you!” Dad said, without any emotion.

I’d worked that much out already, otherwise how else had Caitlin just turned up at our door?!

“And then today,” I began again.

Dad stopped me. “I think I can guess the rest,” he told me. “Where is she?”

I looked at him. Dad was really, really clever sometimes!

“Lottie!” I called to my best friend. “You can come now!”


Lottie and Caitlin appeared and walked towards us. Caitlin seemed really scared, and kept her head down, looking at her feet.

Dad waited until they had reached us, then he turned and spoke to Caitlin, with that wonderful kindness that he has in his voice when he wants.

“Well, Caitlin, I understand you need somewhere to stay for a while.”

Caitlin looked up at him but gave no answer, either verbally or physically.

He smiled and put an arm on her shoulder, fortunately not her bruised shoulder.

“We’d be happy to put you up for as long as you need. You can have the guest room for now,” he told her, as a broad smile broke across her face. “But there’s one condition:” he added, “your Dad must be told that you’re safe; if you don’t want to do it, then I will, but someone has to! Is that okay?”

I’d never seen Caitlin smile properly before. But she did then. Her smile filled her face at the same time as tears streamed down it.

“Yes, yes,” she said, “thank-you, thank-you, thank-you!”

She didn’t stop thanking us all the way back to our house!

Freya had been right all along! Caitlin wasn’t weird, even if her behaviour had been strange. She’d just been hiding a dark secret and dealing with it in the only way she knew. It had taken someone with Freya’s sensitivity to rescue her. But that was Freya! Kind-hearted Freya! The friendliest person I knew! The Freya I loved!

Not the naked Freya that wouldn’t vacate my mind! I wanted so badly to get rid of that Freya! But I couldn’t! No matter how hard I tried, naked having-sex Freya wouldn’t go away!

And now, of course, she’d got another distraction to stop her from talking to me!
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Old 03-01-2018, 09:33 PM   #25
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Well, the 'Thanks' button is back.

I take it 'Snap' is a card game? I think I've heard of it, but my card game repertoire is thin.

"And now, of course, she’d got another distraction to stop her from talking to me!" — Really? My first impression was that Caitlin being in the guest room would force Freya back into Holly's room. Certainly if I was the dad I'd arrange it that way in the hopes that proximity would make their hearts grow fonder… or at least cause them to revert to long-established habits. And, of course, I still don't understand why Holly is so angry, nor why Freya feels so guilty. Hopefully this will be revealed in the end. (There WILL be an ending eventually, won't there?)

I didn't realize until Caitlin instantly recognized Holly at the door that the twins weren't identical. Of course, some 'identical' twins are really not. Connie and Carol Spelling back in first grade were supposed to be identical, but were easily told apart because Carol had suffered some damage during the birthing process.
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Old 03-04-2018, 11:59 AM   #26
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Ten days last summer


Tuesday 29th August 2017


I sat on the bathroom floor looking at it. I’d been checking it and checking it for the last five minutes. It hadn’t changed; it wasn’t going to change. Truth be told, I’d known what it was going to be even before I’d started. But it didn’t lessen the shock of seeing it appear. Shock that quickly became panic, then despair and now … well, now, I was just numb.

I checked yet again. There it was. A blue plus sign.

My eyes scanned slightly to the left of it. Where that dreadful word was. Next to the other plus sign, just above the minus sign that I’d hoped against hope to see, but knew I wouldn’t.

Once more, I read the word.

Pregnant.

I sat there, staring vacantly at nothing, feeling nothing, thinking … my mind was racing through so many future conversations and choices that it would take pages and pages to list and describe them. I couldn’t bear to face any of them.

I felt the bathroom door bang against my back.


The bathroom door opened a fraction then came up against something solid and stopped. I knew what was preventing it from opening.

“Freya!” I said to the door. “Hurry up, I need to pee!”

I waited. A minute later Freya came out clutching something in her hand. She passed me without saying anything, without looking at me. I watched her walk back to her room. I didn’t like what I saw. She looked a real mess.

Sitting on the loo, my eye fell on a small folded piece of paper just behind my left foot. I reached my hand down and picked it up. Unfolding it the words jumped off the page and smashed into me with brutal impact.

Clearblue Pregnancy Test.

Oh, Freya! What had you done!

I knew what she’d done, of course; I’d seen it for myself when I’d walked in on them; I’d been seeing it in my mind ever since. But I’d never thought …

Oh, God! What had I done!

Thoughts tumbled into my mind and out again, shouting at me as they went.

“I can’t tell Dad; Dad can’t find out! Nor Jenny! No-one can know! I can’t tell anyone about this! I have to do this on my own! Do what? I can’t do it on my own! I need someone! Who? I can’t tell anyone! No-one can help me! I’ve got to do this alone! Alone! So very alone!”


Why had I assumed that just because she’d got a Pregnancy Test kit she must be pregnant? She might just have used it to put her mind at ease and confirm that she wasn’t. That made sense! But my mind wasn’t having it. My mind had decided. Freya was pregnant!

She couldn’t know that I knew! So I couldn’t help her unless she asked me! She wouldn’t do that, given the way we were, the way we’d been since that day! She was on her own!

No-one could find out! That was the thought that kept coming back time and time again. No-one could ever find out!

So, that meant only one thing! I had to get rid of it! As soon as possible! On my own! Without anyone knowing!

I opened my laptop and started googling.


I couldn’t leave her on her own! Not with this! How could I? She wouldn’t abandon me if … well just if! She needed me! I just had to convince her of it! But, how? She kept avoiding me! Because I was avoiding her! It was me who would have to make the first move!

I felt sick to the bottom of my stomach.

There was a gentle knock on my door. I ignored it. Another knock followed. Then a voice. Holly’s voice.

“Freya?”

Not now! Please, not now!

“Freya?” the voice came again.

I tried my best to block it out.

“Freya, please!”

There was something in the voice that made me stop googling. What was it?

“Please! Freya, please, I’m begging you!”

A tremble! That was it! There was a definite tremble in the voice!

There was a soft bump from the other side of the door. Then a sniff, and another sniff.

“Oh, God, Freya,” the voice wavered with emotion, “please!” The words became sobs.

Tears began streaming down my face.


I was crumpled on the floor, leaning against the wall next to the door to Freya’s room. I had no more words. They hadn’t worked when I could get them out, and now sobs and sniffs were the only way I had of communicating.

From the other side of the door I could hear the sound of Freya crying. That just made me cry even more.

My pillow was soaked with my tears. I’d cried myself out. I’d no more tears left. From the sounds coming from the other side of the door, Holly was still weeping.

I resumed googling and found what I was looking for. Thanking my lucky stars that Holly and I had each been given our own debit card when we’d turned 16, I did the necessary, and shut the lid of my laptop.


It had gone quiet inside Freya’s room. Maybe she had cried herself to sleep. Perhaps I could enter without her knowing and … and what? What could I do then?

No! She had to let me in before I could do anything! I tried again.

“Freya!”

Nothing.

“Please!”

It was time to wear my heart on my sleeve. I didn’t do that as a rule. I wasn’t comfortable sharing my feelings with the world. But I knew I had to. The words mixed with my sobs once more.

“Freya, please let me in! I love you more than anything! Freya!”

My tears began again.

“I need you, Freya, I need you so much!”

I couldn’t take much more of this!

“Please, Freya, I want to hold you! Freya, I need you to hold me!”

She was tearing me apart!


“Oh, God, no!” I wailed, and broke down completely.

I collapsed onto the bed and wept uncontrollably.

A new voice mixed itself with the sounds of the two of us crying our eyes out. Caitlin was outside my room now as well.

“Oh my God, Holly, what’s happened?” I heard her ask.


The only way I could reply was to lift my tear-stained face to look at her.

“Oh, God!” she said again, a look of panic sweeping across her features.

She stood for a moment, her hands pressed against either side of her head, then she seemed to make a decision. She took her phone out of her pocket and made a call.

“Lottie,” I heard Caitlin say, “how soon can you come over to Freya’s? Something’s happened! I don’t know what, but, … I don’t know what to do! If you can come it’d be … oh, brilliant! See you in a minute!”

Now I’d got Lottie coming round! I wasn’t at all sure that was what I needed right then; it certainly wasn’t what I wanted!


She ended the call, slipped the phone back into her pocket, and knelt down beside me. Watching her, I could clearly see she wanted to say something that would help, but was struggling to know what the right words were.

“It’s you and Freya, isn’t it?” the words finally came out of her mouth.

I nodded.

“Have you had a fight or something?”

I shook my head.

“Have you said anything about you know what?” she asked me.

A look of surprise came over me. Did she know about Freya and Jake? How did she know? When had Freya told her? Why had Freya told her?

I shook my head again.

“What can I do to help?”

I shrugged.

I heard the doorbell and knew Lottie had arrived. I had been trying desperately to stem the tide coming from my reddened eyes, without much success. The one-sided conversation outside my door hadn’t helped.

“Freya?”

It was Lottie’s voice.

“Freya, can you let me in, please?”

I didn’t want to see anyone, not even my best friend, so I ignored her.

Twice more she asked, her voice becoming more pleading each time; twice more I remained silent.


Lottie realised she was getting nowhere with Freya, so she turned her attention to me. Although she was Freya’s best friend, Lottie and I were quite close, which I suppose is not surprising seeing as she spent so much time with my twin sister.

“What’s happened, Holly?” she asked.

I shrugged once more.

“I can’t get anything out of her!” Caitlin told Lottie.

“I know who can!” Lottie replied, and made a phone call of her own.

“Hi, Tild,” she said into her phone, “listen, this is going to sound odd, but I really need you to do me a massive favour! I’m at the twins’ house, and something’s happened with them, and Holly really needs someone, and you’re the best person I can think of. Can you get over here, like now?”

There was a pause, whilst Tild replied, then Lottie said, “Oh, thanks, you’re an angel! Bye!”

I didn’t really have a best friend, not like Freya had with Lottie, but Tild was probably the nearest approximation, and she had the advantage of being a really good listener.

By the sound of it, now Matilda, or Tild as everyone called her, was coming over as well. The house was rapidly filling with teenage girls! Why couldn’t I just be left in peace?

Tild arrived and sat down next to me. She didn’t say anything, she just sat there for a couple of minutes, looking at me periodically.

“Come on!” she suddenly said, as she took hold of my arm. She stood up, pulling my arm up with her, half-forcing half-encouraging me to stand up too. I got to my feet, and she wrapped an arm around my back and began walking me to my room. We went in and she shut the door behind us. She sat us both down on my bed, and then resumed her silent companionship.

“Freya?” Lottie tried again. “Please let me in!”

My resolve was beginning to weaken.

“I don’t care what’s happened,” she continued, “I just want to see you’re okay! Please, Freya?”

I was going to have to face someone at some point. Lottie, I decided, was probably the best one to start with. At least she didn’t know what had happened on holiday.

Using the back of my hand to try to sweep away the tears from my cheeks, I tiptoed to the door and unlocked it, trying not to let the lock mechanism make any tell-tale sound. Then I crept back to my bed, and lay face down on it.

“Okay,” I called and braced myself for Lottie’s entrance.


“So,” Tild broke the silence at last, “how much do you want to tell me?”

I wanted to tell her everything! Well, no, not everything! But as much as I could! I just didn’t know how much that was!

“It’s complicated!” I told her. If that was an attempt to deter her questioning, I knew it stood no chance whatsoever.

“So I imagine!” she said, and looked me in the eye.

Slowly, little bit by little bit, I began to open up to her gentle probing. I told her how Freya had been avoiding me; acknowledged that I’d dished out the silent treatment to Freya; explained how something had happened, which I couldn’t tell her about, that had started it all; admitted that I knew I had to talk to my twin about it, but that I was finding it really difficult; and told her how I had finally been ready to reach out to Freya, and desperately tried to, but that she’d rebuffed me.

The emotional release all that brought on was too much for me, and I dissolved in tears again.

I felt the bed gently rock as two people sat on its edge. Caitlin had come in with Lottie. That wasn’t what I’d been expecting, and it complicated things, because she did know.

Lottie allowed herself to fall sideways, so her head was on the pillow, next to mine. I turned my head to face her. Softly, she wiped away the latest tears from my cheeks.

“Is there anything I can do or say that is going to help?” she asked me, in her gentle manner.

I shook my head. “I don’t think so, no!” I told her.

“That’s okay!” she said. “Is it alright if I just lay here with you?”

“Yes!” I said, nodding.

She lay there, silently looking at me, then after a couple of minutes she asked, “Have you got any paper in here, and a pencil?”

“On the desk in the corner,” I told her.

“Caitlin,” she called, “can you get me some paper, maybe about 10 sheets, and a pencil, please?”

The bed rocked gently again as Caitlin got up and fetched the paper and pencil, then rocked once more as she sat back down.

Lottie took the pencil in one hand and put the paper in a pile in front of her. Then she started drawing. I watched as the image on the paper began to take shape. She was drawing me! It was almost magical how, with a few flicks of the pencil, another detail emerged on the paper. I was entranced by the whole process.

When she’d finished, and was happy with it, she shifted the paper slightly so it faced me.

“What do you think?” she asked.

“It’s brilliant, Lottie!” I told her. “Look, Caitlin!”

Caitlin leant over and took a look. She was equally impressed. “That looks just like her!” she exclaimed, before asking, “Can you do one of me sometime?”

“Sure!” Lottie replied. She turned to me and said, “Freya, how about we both sit up now, and I can do Caitlin.”

We rolled over and sat up. Lottie took up her pencil once more and began sketching Caitlin as I watched her perform fresh miracles on the blank sheet of paper.

Midway through, my phone pinged. Checking it, I saw I had a WhatsApp pic from Alice. It was a head-and-shoulder photo of her and Hannah standing in front of a tall hedge. Neither of them appeared to be wearing a top, or at least one with any shoulder straps.

‘Guess what we’re wearing!’ said the caption below the pic.

Lottie looked across at the screen of my phone.

“Who’s that?” she asked.

“Alice and Hannah,” I replied, “you know, the sisters I met on holiday, remember?”

“They’re really pretty!” she remarked.

“Yeah, they are,” I agreed.

“So, what are they wearing?”

I knew the answer, but I wasn’t sure I wanted to share it. That could easily lead to me having to divulge a lot more information, and I didn’t know how that might be received.

Fortunately, before I had time to answer I got another message from Alice. There was no pic this time just a very leading question.

‘Shall I show you?”

Did I say ‘fortunately’ just now? I must have missed off the ‘un’!

I tried my best to stop Alice from sending anything incriminating, without wanting to offend her or make it sound like I’d regretted the whole naked afternoon. All the faffing around, deciding how to get the wording right, meant that I took too long. The next message pinged its way onto my phone before I had finished my reply.

This one had a picture with it: Alice and Hannah, head to toe, full-frontal. I had just received my first naked picture!

‘Our first naked selfie!!’ read the caption.

“Okay! Right!” said Lottie, with a big grin on her face. “I’m guessing there’s a story attached to that!”

“Mmm-hmm,” I replied, as I deleted the remains of my previously intended reply and started again.

‘Thanks Alice, looks like you two are having fun! Lottie loves the pic!’

The reply was almost immediate.

‘OMG, I didn’t know you had company! Sorry! I didn’t think!’

‘That’s okay! But I think I might have a bit of explaining to do! Catch you later.’

“Well?” asked Lottie.

My phone pinged once more, delaying the inevitable for a few more moments.

‘Let me know how that goes. I’ve got something to ask you later.’

“Well?” Lottie repeated.

“Promise not to freak out, or judge me?” I began.

“I would never judge you,” she protested, “and after what I’ve just seen I think I’ll be able to not freak out either!”

I knew, of course, that everything I was about to tell Lottie, I would be telling Caitlin at the same time. But, given how Caitlin had been with what ghastly secret she already knew about me, I was completely confident about telling her. I told them about Alice and Hannah being naturists; how I had randomly told them I’d like to try swimming naked with them; and all about our naked beach afternoon on holiday.

They listened, agog, as I finished by expressing how much I had enjoyed swimming naked, and how natural it had all felt, once I’d got over my initial nerves and inhibitions.

“Sounds amazing!” said Lottie, far more enthusiastically than I had expected.

“I’m not sure I could have done it,” remarked Caitlin, “but good for you, Freya!”

Lottie had completed her sketch of Caitlin by now, and showed her the finished drawing. It was just as impressive as I knew it would be. Caitlin was chuffed to bits with it!

‘What did you want to ask me?’ I messaged Alice, as Caitlin continued to express her admiration of Lottie’s artistic skill.

It took quite a while before Alice’s reply arrived. The delay was explained when I saw the length of the message.

‘So, there’s this thing called The Great British Skinny Dip. It’s on Saturday 9th September. Anyway, I remembered you live in Milton Keynes. Well, there’s a club not far from there, and they are holding a special open day for the GBSD. They’ve got a swimming pool and miniten and they’re organising aquarobics and other stuff. I mentioned it to my parents and we are all coming up to go to it. I wondered if you wanted to come with us. We could come and pick you up and drop you back home afterwards. What do you think?’

Lottie had read the message with me, and said, “You should go! It’ll do you good! It sounds fun! D’you think they’d have room for me as well?”

Taken by surprise, I looked questioningly at Lottie. “Are you sure?”

“Why not?” she replied. “You just told me how good it felt!”

“Okay,” I told her, and messaged Alice again.

‘Yes, I’d love to come. Lottie wants to know if she can come as well.’

‘Fantastic. We’d love Lottie to come. She sounds really nice.’

I was feeling happier again now. Between the three of them, Lottie, Caitlin and Alice had dragged me out of the pit of despair, at least temporarily.
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Old 03-04-2018, 04:11 PM   #27
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So, I had to Google a definition for 'miniten': "Miniten (a portmanteau word, derived from mini+tennis) is a tennis-like game played exclusively by naturists. It was devised in the 1930s, in order to provide a suitable game for naturist clubs which often lacked sufficient land to create full- sized tennis courts." — This is a sufficiently obscure reference to cause me to wonder just how you happened to be aware of it. I'm smelling a story.…

This was an excellent installment; it was simultaneously humorous and touching. I never had friends who would react like Lottie, Caitlin or Tild, and now I feel like I missed out on something.

Now I'm wondering where Caitlin sleeps, as it seems she doesn't share a room with either of the twins. Perhaps they have her in with Zack! (the forgotten sib)

Last edited by Curtis; 03-04-2018 at 04:14 PM. Reason: a thought came to me
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Old 03-09-2018, 11:53 AM   #28
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Ten days last summer


Thursday 31st August 2017


I heard the post come through the letterbox, and I was down the stairs in a flash. I had to make sure I got to it before anyone else, just in case the envelope I was waiting for had arrived. I picked my way through a couple of brown window envelopes addressed to Dad and then my heart stopped. There, in my hand, was an anonymous-looking brown padded envelope with my name on the front. It was here; I had them.

I dropped the rest of the post back onto the floor and hurried back upstairs and into my room. I shut and locked the door behind me. There was no way I could risk anyone coming in. I opened the envelope and tipped it up to allow it to relinquish its contents. Out fell a packet of twelve pills individually sealed into a plastic tray by a thin foil sheet. With them came a folded sheet of paper, filled with small writing. The heading, in bolder, larger writing, was visible on the outermost fold.

‘Guidelines for using Misoprostol to induce abortion.’

I unfolded the paper and began reading. There was lots of medical stuff, obviously, that I didn’t really understand so I skimmed over that. The bit I was interested in was headed ‘Instructions for use’. I read it and re-read it, my hands shaking and a sick feeling rising up through my stomach and into my chest. The words were doing nothing to calm my fears. I dropped the paper by my side and put my head on the pillow. I was going to need to build up enough courage to do this!


I reached out to grab a tissue to dab my eyes with. It’s silly, I know, but reading these love stories always set me weeping when it comes to the bits where the girl has her heart broken. Call me soppy, but that’s just how it is!

Only when I reached for a tissue, there weren’t any in the box. Damn! I put the book down and resolved to go and get a box from the Aldi store just around the corner. There were a couple of other things I needed as well, so I could get them at the same time.

I had to do this; and I had to do it when I was alone in the house. I’d been psyching myself up for the last half-hour and I was as ready as ever I would be; but I knew I wasn’t yet alone. Nearly, but not quite.

Dad was at work; Jenny and the littlies had gone out for the day with a family they knew well; and Caitlin had gone to see about a job she’d seen advertised at Snozone. That just left Holly.


I grabbed my purse, made sure there was enough money in it, and headed down the stairs and out the front door, pulling it closed behind me with a bang.

I heard the door bang and took a quick look out of my window. Holly was walking down the path. I had the house to myself!

I unlocked my door and went across to the bathroom. I found the biggest bath towel I could, and took the whole pack of sanitary pads from in the cupboard. The instructions had warned that I may need a few. Armed with the necessities, I returned to my room.

I laid the towel over my bed and put the pads where I could reach them. I removed my trousers and knickers, thought about tucking my blouse into my bra but decided I couldn’t rely on it staying there, so took it off as well. Wearing only my bra, I sat on the towel and tried to make myself as comfortable as I could. I knew I would be there for some time.

I picked up the pack of pills, and popped four of them out. Quickly, before I lost my nerve, I put all four into my mouth, tucking two into each cheek. I re-read the instructions.

‘Hold the tablets in the mouth for 20-30 minutes to allow them to dissolve, and then swallow the remaining fragments.’

I set the timer on my phone to 30 minutes so that I would know when it was okay for me to swallow any bits of the pills that were left by then.

I read on: ‘During this process you may experience bleeding that is somewhat heavier than for a period. That is normal. You should have a supply of thick sanitary napkins on hand.’

I reached across and patted the pack of sanitary pads, to reassure myself that I did indeed have them with me, and continued reading.

‘Bleeding and uterine contractions (cramping) may begin as quickly as 30 minutes following this first step. If bleeding and contractions do not start within 3 hours, follow step 2 below.’

Since I had to keep the pills in my mouth for 30 minutes, I read on.

Basically, it said that I had to inspect the sanitary pad to check if the pregnancy had been terminated. I had to look for something that was about the size of a short grain of rice in amongst all the blood. If I couldn’t find it, or if the cramping hadn’t stopped after 3 hours, I had to take another four pills and go through it all again.

I hoped and prayed I would be able to find this thing!


It was only a twenty-minute round-trip to Aldi, so I was soon back and able to continue my book, safe in the knowledge that I could dab away my tears when I needed to.

Oh bum! The timer still had 16 minutes left on it and I’d just heard the front door. Someone had come in! It would either be Holly or Caitlin. I didn’t want either of them around, and couldn’t make up my mind which one of the two I would prefer it to be.

With the pills already dissolving in my mouth, there was no going back now. I was totally committed. Oh, God, this was all going wrong already!


A sudden urge to pee took over me. I put the book down and headed to the bathroom. After finishing up, I noticed the door of the cupboard was open, so I pushed it closed before flushing and returning to my book.

It was starting! There was blood running down the inside of my thigh. I grabbed a sanitary pad and put it in place.

Engrossed in the story, as it neared its climax, I only vaguely registered the strange sound I’d just heard: like someone moaning, as if they were in pain. I went back to my book.

The cramping had started now, and I was in real pain. I did my best, but I couldn’t stop myself groaning with each new contraction.

There it was again, only louder this time! I put the book down.

Each one was getting worse! I’d had period pains before, but this was way beyond those! It was agony! I had to release that pain, and screaming was the only way.

The agonised scream chilled me to the bone. I got up and followed the sound; it was coming from Freya’s room. I pushed the door open and was confronted by something out of a horror movie.

“Aaaarrrggghhhh!” I screamed as the latest contraction hit me, my face contorted in pain. The agony had distracted me from maintaining the pad’s position, and there was blood all over my nether regions and their surroundings.

“Oh my God, Freya, what the hell?!?” I yelled at her.

She looked up at me, with a tortured expression.

“Help me, Holly!” she begged.

“I’m calling an ambulance!” I told her.

“No, no! You can’t! Please! No!” she screamed.

“What’s going on?” I demanded.

She pointed at a partially-used packet of pills, with a sheet of paper next to it. The words in bold were all I needed to read. Oh God, she was trying to give herself an abortion!

“Nnnnggg aarrgh!” she screamed again, and grabbed my arm with a hand.

“I don’t know what to do!” I cried, tears streaming down my face. I couldn’t stand to see her in so much pain and not be able to do anything about it.

She was in tears now, whether through the pain or the emotion of it all I didn’t know. “Hold me!” she pleaded. “Just hold me, Holly, please!”

Not caring about anything else, I sat down next to her and held her tightly.

I really wished I hadn’t started this now! The cramping was almost unbearable, searing pain ripping through me with each contraction. And now, to make matters worse, Holly knew; and worse still, she was going through God-knows-what agonies of her own. I just wanted it all to stop. Except, of course, it wouldn’t!

“Nnnnnnnnggggggg!”

She nearly burst with that one! I had to do something! I couldn’t just sit there and listen to this! But she wouldn’t allow me to let go of her. Well, if I was going to sit there, I was determined to be of some use. I pushed a sanitary pad up against her to try to soak up some of the blood.

“Eeeeaaaaaarrrrrrr!” Please stop this! Make it go away!

Freya turned to look at me. “I can’t do this, Holly!” she said. “It hurts so much!”

“Holly! Freya!” we heard a voice yelling from the stairs.

Oh God! Now who?

Caitlin burst into the room and looked at us, aghast.

“Help me, Caitlin! It’s Freya! I don’t know what to do!” I told her, as best I could whilst crying my eyes out.

“Aaarrrrrgggghhhhh nnnnngggggg arrrrgggg!” That was the worst one yet!

I looked at Holly through a veil of tears. “I want to die!” I told her.

“Shut up!” she said. “Shut up! Shut up!”


“Please,” she begged, “just let me die! It hurts too much. I can’t do it!”

“Stop it!” I told her. “Stop saying that!”

“Holly!” Caitlin’s voice snapped at me.

I looked at her. “What?”

“Go and get her some painkillers! Go on!”

“Don’t leave me!” begged Freya.

“Painkillers! Now!” Caitlin ordered.

There was such force in her voice, I didn’t dare disobey. Halfway down the stairs I heard another heart-rending scream of pain from Freya.

As soon as Holly left me, Caitlin took her place. She got a fresh pad and put it in place, swapping it for the existing one. She carefully examined the blood-soaked pad, moving some of the thicker blood clots with her finger to check them. Satisfied with what she’d seen, she put the pad down, and concentrated on holding me.

“It’s okay, Freya!” she told me. “As soon as the painkillers kick in, you’ll be able to cope! Just hang in there!”


I got back as quickly as I could, bringing a glass of water and the maximum dose of painkillers allowed. Freya quickly swallowed them.

“I can’t see it yet,” Caitlin told us. “How long has she been cramping?”

“10 maybe 15 minutes, I’m not really sure;” I answered, “I wasn’t here when she started this.”

“Okay,” she replied, “well there’s definitely more to come yet. I had a lot more blood than this before I found it.”

“You’ve done this?” I asked her.

“Yeah,” she said, “twice.”

“Oh my God, Caitlin!” I exclaimed. “Why? How? Nnnnnrrrrrrgggghhh!”

Holly took Caitlin’s place and once more held me to her, stroking my hair.

“My Dad!” Caitlin said.

“What, he raped you?” I asked.

“After Mum got put in prison, he used to say it was my job to look after him now. At first it meant cooking and cleaning and stuff. But then, when I turned 16, he said I had to look after him in bed as well. That’s when he started making me have sex with him. He never used a condom, and I was too scared to go and ask about the pill in case anyone found out what was happening, so I ended up pregnant twice. I took the same way out as you have, Freya!”


Suddenly, my problems seemed so insignificant, so pathetic, so pifflingly tiny! Even Freya’s predicament paled compared to what poor Caitlin had gone through!

A violent cramping produced another agonised scream from my suffering twin, reminding me that her predicament was very much real and ongoing.

There were another half-a-dozen contractions, each of which seemed to be tearing me in two, before the painkillers started to work. After that, gradually, although the cramping continued, it became a little more bearable each time. It still hurt, and it was still worse than the worst period pains, but it wasn’t the tortured agony that had made me wish to die.

Caitlin regularly swapped over the pads, each time inspecting the old one for signs of a successful abortion.

All the time I sat and held Freya, and as the painkillers took effect, she became more lucid again, and between contractions we began to talk.

“Holly, I’m so, so sorry for what I did!” she began.

“That’s okay!” I reassured her.

“No, it’s not!” she corrected me. “I’ve seen what it’s done to you. How much it’s hurt you. It’s not alright! Don’t try to be kind to me; you have to be completely honest, otherwise there’s no point!”

“I was angry with you at first, for doing it. But, really, I was much more angry with myself for reacting the way I did!” she began.

“It’s not your fault!” I told her. “None of it is your fault! It’s all me! I’ve caused it all!”

“But I didn’t help! I shouldn’t have reacted like I did! I don’t know why I dis! And then I wanted to just push it out of my mind, and pretend it never happened, but I couldn’t. I can’t! I wish we could just go back to how things had always been between us.”

“We can never do that! Things will never be the same as they were. We have to accept that!”


I knew that was true, but our special twin bond was so important to me that I would have done anything to get it back.

“After a while, I started to feel maybe I was ready to talk about it with you,” I continued, “but then you kept avoiding me. You were always at Lottie’s.”

“I was avoiding you,” Freya admitted, “because I thought you didn’t want me around. When I had to move out of our room, well …”

She paused and looked into my eyes.

“Go on,” I told her, “you said we had to be completely honest!”

“…well, that broke my heart,” she said. “We’ve always shared a room, and having to sleep apart was almost unbearable!”

“It was for me, as well!” I confessed. “I wanted to ask you to move back in, but I was too scared or stubborn or something.”

She put her hand in mine.

“Freya,” I said, almost pleading, “move back in, please. I want us to be together again.”

She smiled. “Me, too!” she said.

I was so glad to hear her say those words: ‘I want us to be together again’. So did I, more than anything in the world, so did I!”

Caitlin interrupted us, to give us some good news.

“It’s out!” she said, holding the latest blood-soaked pad in her hand. “It’s on here!”

“Are you sure?” I asked her, hardly daring to believe what she’d just told me.

“Yes! Look!” She held the pad out for me to inspect. With her blood-stained finger she pointed to a tiny piece of red stuff. “That’s it! Absolutely ,definitely, 100%, that’s it!”

Thank God!

“The cramping should stop soon,” she told me, “and the bleeding will slow.”

“What happens now?” asked Holly.

“You’ll keep bleeding, like when you have a really heavy period,” Caitlin said to me. “That will go on for a week or so.”

A week? Hopefully, that should mean it will have stopped by the time I go to the club with Alice and Hannah and Lottie. I was really thankful for that!

“Then you might get some little spots of blood until you get your next period,” Caitlin continued.

“How long will that be?” I asked her.

“With me it was six weeks the first time, and four weeks the second time.”

It was so comforting to have Caitlin there, able to tell me these things, having been through them herself. I couldn’t imagine having got through it without her.


Now it was done, me and Freya sat and hugged each other, like long-lost friends who are meeting for the first time in years.

“I never want to be apart from you again!” I told her.

“Me neither!” she replied. “I know we can’t go back to what we had, but let’s go forward and make an even stronger bond!”

I really, really wanted that, more than anything. But there was something I had to overcome before I could even attempt to move forward.

“It’s just,” I searched for the words I wanted, “I can’t stop seeing you like that!. In my mind, I mean, I keep seeing naked-having-sex Freya. I don’t want to! But I don’t know how to make it go away!”

I knew it had affected her, but I didn’t realise it was that bad. I felt so guilty.

“Oh Holly,” I said, “I wish I could help, but I don’t know how!”

“I think I do!”

We both looked at Caitlin, surprised by what she’d just said.

“But I’m not sure you’re going to like it, Holly!” she warned.


I didn’t know what idea she might have, but I was desperate. So desperate that I was willing to try anything at all.

“What is it?” I asked, determined to do whatever it was she suggested.

“Freya,” she said, “take Holly with you when you go to the club with Alice and Hannah.”

That didn’t sound too bad, until I remembered the thing that made Alice and Hannah different from everyone else I knew: they were naturists. So, presumably, this club was a naturist club. Was Caitlin suggesting I go naked at this club? I checked if this was what she meant.

“What? You mean me go to a naked club? And get naked?”

“No, you don’t need to get naked, Holly,” Caitlin explained her idea, “but you have to go to the club. Don’t you see? The only way to get that image of Freya out of your head, is to see her naked, with other people, in a different situation. If you see her swimming and having fun and playing with her friends when she’s naked, that will replace the naked Freya in your mind with a different, positive, friendly naked Freya.”

“That’s brilliant, Caitlin!” Freya exclaimed. “You’re definitely coming, Holly! You need to see me naked properly!”

I could see the way Caitlin’s idea might work, and I was desperate, so I agreed to go.
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Old 03-09-2018, 11:56 PM   #29
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Amazing. And brilliant; I didn't see any of this coming. And hurray for Caitlin!
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Old 03-13-2018, 12:48 PM   #30
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Default Epilogue (iv)

Ten days last summer


Saturday 9th September 2017


The day of the Great British Skinny Dip dawned overcast, but the weather forecast was more encouraging than the leaden skies suggested. I had told Alice about Holly wanting to come as well, and asked if that was okay.

“Wow, we’re going to have car-full!” she’d replied, but had been really enthusiastic adding Holly to the entourage.

My bleeding had stopped, by and large, a few days ago, so I was feeling more confident and comfortable about being naked than would have been the case otherwise.

Lottie had been trying to play it cool all week, but I could tell she was getting a few nerves about her first naked adventure; and as for poor Holly, well!


I was dreading it! It was only because I was so desperate to fix my naked-Freya problem that I was going along with the idea.

“Are you sure this is going to work?” I asked Caitlin, for the umpteenth time that week.

“Nothing in this life comes with guarantees, Holly!” she told me, somewhat philosophically. “But it’s got to be worth trying, surely? If there’s a chance!”

“You don’t sound very sure about it!” I challenged her.

“Like I said, nothing’s certain,” she pointed out, “but I don’t see why it shouldn’t work; provided that, between you, you can create a memorable-enough experience to associate with naked-Freya! It just needs to be positive, and strong enough to override the one you’ve got stuck in your head at the moment!”

Wow, she was like a proper little psychologist, or psychiatrist, or whatever one it is!

I really wanted it to work, which meant I needed the weather to improve enough to make everyone actually want to get naked! But, part of me couldn’t help hoping that it rained or got cold or something, so we could abandon the whole thing. That was how much I wasn’t looking forward to it!

So, when it started raining just after breakfast, I was the only one who wasn’t fretting. Freya checked the weather app on her phone, and found it was still suggesting a completely dry day with sunshine forecast for this afternoon. Only, with the rain battering against our bedroom window, she didn’t have much confidence in the app’s forecasting ability!

Lottie’s message showed me that it wasn’t just me fretting about the weather. ‘Is it still on?’ it read. ‘As far as I know it is’ I texted back. I decided to check with Alice. ‘Is it still on?’ I sent. ‘Yes, why?’ came the reply. ‘It’s raining’ I sent back. ‘It’s not here’ she informed me. ‘We’re just dropping Mum and Hannah off, then we’re coming for you’ she sent, fifteen minutes later.

I texted Lottie to suggest that she should come over soon, and then told Holly that they’d be picking us up sometime in the next hour.

“What should I wear?” she asked me. “And will I need my swimsuit?”

“Er, no, it’s the Great British Skinny Dip,” I reminded her, “I don’t think swimsuits come into it!”

“But, what if I want to go swimming, or do the aquarobics?”

“Well, if you do, I think you’re going to need to be brave!” I said. As an afterthought, remembering my naked beach experience, I added, “But it might be a good idea to wear your bikini under your clothes. Then you won’t stand out quite so much!”

That seemed to satisfy her, so I left her to it and went downstairs, to wait for Lottie. Gracie was playing with her Playmobil hospital, and was keen to show me how the ambulance worked!

“The ill person goes in the back,” she explained, stuffing one of the smaller people head-first into the ambulance, “and then you press this to start the woo-woo,” which she duly did, “and then they drive to the hospital with the flashers going as well.” She flicked the switch that turned the flashing blue lights on. Unfortunately, my head was full of an image of a group of very different flashers, in long macs, accompanying the ambulance to the hospital, and I couldn’t stop myself from sniggering at the idea!

“What’s funny?” she asked.

“Nothing, Gracie!” I told her. “It’s just me being silly!”

“I like it when you and Holly are silly!” she declared. She looked around, and asked, “Where is Holly?”

“She’s just putting her bikini on,” I told her.

“Why? Is she going swimming?”

“I think she’s hoping to!” I said, not at all sure if that was the right answer.

“Are you going swimming?” Gracie asked.

“Yes, I am!”

“Have you got your bikini on?”

“No!” I said, without thinking, regretting it instantly!

Gracie gave me a puzzled look, as her four-year-old brain processed this apparent incongruity.

“How are you going to go swimming if you aren’t wearing your bikini?” she queried.

“I’ll manage!” I assured her, rather vaguely.

“You can’t go swimming in your clothes!” she informed me.

“I know! I wasn’t going to!”

There was an agonising pause, during which I could almost see the cogs going round in her little head! I knew it was only a matter of time before she would reach the inevitable conclusion. Please, someone, anyone, save me from the torture of inquisition by four-year-old!


When I walked in, both Gracie and Freya looked relieved to see me. I didn’t know what had been going on, but I soon found out!

“Holly, how’s Freya going to go swimming when she hasn’t got her bikini?” Gracie asked me.

Unable to stop myself, I burst out laughing. Freya shot me a look that told how unimpressed she was with my lack of self-control. Ignoring that, I decided to have some fun with this!

“Yeah, Freya,” I teased, “how are you going to go swimming with no bikini?”

I couldn’t believe Holly! We deliberately hadn’t told Dad or Jenny anything about where we going with Alice and Hannah, and now, here she was practically forcing me to let Gracie in on the secret! Knowing that Lottie was on her way, I tried to stall for time, praying that the doorbell would rescue me!

“How do you think I’m going to do it?” I asked Gracie.

She considered the question for a moment, before announcing, “Mummy let me go in just my pants, so maybe you could do that!”

Little did she know how close to the truth she was! Holly looked at me and sniggered.

Not wanting this to continue any longer, I tried the distraction technique that usually works so well with young children. “Gracie,” I said, seriously, “I think that poor person in the ambulance needs to get to hospital very soon, so he can get better!”

Gracie looked aghast at having left her patient unattended for so long, and quickly pushed the ambulance into place. With her focus now back on her game, I could breathe easily once more!


It had stopped raining when Alice and her Dad picked us up. Me, Freya and Lottie piled into the back of the car, and Alice chatted excitedly as we drove along; but I was too lost in my own thoughts to take much part in the conversation. After 20 minutes or so, we turned into a long driveway that led to a small gravel car park flanked by a portacabin. A large middle-aged lady, who was sitting on the steps to the portacabin, waved us past, allowing us to find a spot to park. I was pleased and relieved to see she was fully clothed! We got out of the car, and followed Alice’s Dad along a small path leading away from the car park, through a gap in the hedge. That gap was like a portal to a totally different world! From the normal everyday world that I was used to and comfortable with, to a world without clothes, where even the direction of your gaze was a cause for much careful consideration and possible embarrassment!

“There they are!” Alice exclaimed, as she spotted her mum and sister, lounging on a large picnic blanket: both naked, of course. She increased her pace, before changing her mind and signalling us to keep quiet. As quietly as she could, she crept towards her sister, a wicked grin forming on her face, until she was right behind her. Then she reached out and tapped her sister on the shoulder, simultaneously greeting her, “Hi, Hannah!”

Poor Hannah jumped out of her skin! “God, Alice, your nearly gave me a heart attack!” she rebuked her sister.

“Sorry, Hannah,” Alice said, “I couldn’t resist it!”

The rest of us joined them, and Hannah threw her arms round Freya and gave her a friendly hug. She then turned to me, ready to do the same. She was beaming a wonderful smile, apparently, but I was somewhat distracted by what else was on display. To say Hannah had a nice body would be understating it; she was incredibly attractive, slim without being skinny, tanned all over, and with perfectly-rounded pert breasts. Breasts which she pressed up against me as she gave me a hug. I, on my part, wasn’t quite sure whether to return her hug or not, being a little uncomfortable about putting my hands on her bare back. Fortunately, she released her grip and turned to Lottie.

“You must be Lottie!” she deduced. “Freya’s told us all about you! I’m really glad you’ve come!” She hugged Lottie, who seemed equally unsure what to do with her hands.

By now, Alice was busy removing her clothes, as if it was the most natural thing in the world to be doing in the middle of a large, communal, lawn. Which I suppose it was, for her!

Holly looked like she didn’t know where to cast her gaze! With Hannah and her Mum naked, and Alice rapidly getting that way, she seemed uncertain whether she should, or even could, look at them. I cast my mind back to that day on the nudist beach, and recalled what Alice had told me.

“It’s okay, Holly,” I told my twin, “they won’t mind you looking! And, don’t worry, you’ll soon get used to it. I was the same to start with, but it soon becomes normal!”

“I don’t think it’s ever going to seem normal!” she remarked.

“Are you …?” Lottie asked me.

“Yeah, in a minute,” I told her, “I just want to make sure Holly’s okay!”


And that, in a nutshell, is my twin! Always thinking of others before herself. How could I have ever fallen out with such a kind, loving person?

“Don’t let me stop you, Freya,” I urged. “After all, the whole point is that I’m supposed to see you naked!”

Alice, who had finished undressing and come over to join us, frowned when she overheard my remark, and looked at the two of us, with a puzzled expression. But she didn’t say anything about it, choosing instead to give me a push across the first line of awkwardness.

“Well, Holly, what do you think?” she said, with a mischievous grin, as she posed extravagantly in my eyeline, forcing me to look at her naked body.

“You look amazing!” I told her, truthfully. “You and your sister are both awesomely pretty, and you’ve got really great bodies!”

“Stop it!” she giggled. “You’ll make me blush!”

“It’s true!” I insisted. Turning to my twin, I said, “Freya, hurry up and get undressed! I need to see a normal body, so I don’t feel inadequate!” That came out all wrong, and I instantly regretted saying it. Hurriedly, I tried to correct my mistake. “I didn’t mean you aren’t attractive, or that your body isn’t nice;” I clarified, “I just meant that Alice is, …” No, this was still sounding bad! I tried again: “… I just meant, …, well, you know, … oh, … someone just tell me to shut up!”

“Shut up, Holly,” four voices told me, in unison. So, I did!

I knew what Holly meant! Although I was quite at ease with how I looked, I certainly wasn’t in the same league as Alice and Hannah!

Lottie looked at me again, and I nodded to her. I moved close to Holly and whispered, “I’m going to get naked, now, okay?” She nodded, so I gave her a whispered suggestion: “Why don’t you go down to your bikini?”

The three of us – me, Holly, and Lottie – began to remove our clothes. Alice and Hannah busied themselves with arranging their towels on the grass, and let us get on with it. Lottie, I noticed, seemed to be waiting for me to remove an item before she took off the equivalent one, which I took to mean she was a little nervous. Holly stripped to her bikini and then watched as I unhooked the clasp of my bra and slid it down my arms and off. I smiled at my twin, and reached down and removed my panties. I gathered up my clothes and put them in the backpack that I’d brought with me, then stood up and looked across at my now-naked best friend.

“It feels weird!” she admitted. “I feel really exposed, like everyone’s looking at me!”

Alice looked up and instructed, “Lottie, take a look around! Who’s looking at you?”

Lottie looked, and I did too. One woman was looking vaguely in our direction, but, even then, I wasn’t sure if she was looking at us or beyond us.

“See,” Alice said, “no-one’s bothered! Everyone here is used to being among naked people! It’s just normal! It only feels weird for you because you’re not used to it!”

“If it helps, Lottie,” Holly said, with a twinkle in her eye, “I’m looking!”

“Yeah, Holly, that really helps!” Lottie replied, sarcastically.

We laid out our towels and sat on them, catching up with each other’s news and idly chatting. After a time, Alice whispered something to Hannah, and the younger girl got up and wandered across the lawn, in the direction of a wooden building. Five minutes later, she returned, and gave a nod of her head when her sister looked questioningly at her.


“We know they’ve got a swimming pool here, but we didn’t want to leave you out, Holly,” Alice explained, “so Hannah’s had a look to see if they’ve got anything else.”

“And they have!” added Hannah, beaming. “They’ve set up a volleyball net!”

“So, who fancies a game?” Alice enquired.

Everyone did; even Lottie, although she knew it meant her nakedness would be more public. So, four naked girls accompanied me across the lawn, and, I have to admit, I felt a little out of place! I soon forgot all about that, though, when we began playing volleyball; and I was also starting to kind of forget that the others were naked.

We played for quite a while, and, with the sun starting to come out, we got quite hot through our exertions. Alice and Hannah, I noticed, were casting longing looks in the direction of the pool, and I would have been more than happy to take a cooling dip, if only …!

“Don’t let me stop you from having a swim if you want!” I told them.

“Are you sure you don’t mind?” Alice checked.

“Yeah, I’m sure!” I confirmed. Secretly, I was hoping that I might be allowed in the pool in my bikini.

The pool looked really inviting as we approached it, but my hopes were dashed by a notice informing everyone there were ‘no costumes allowed in the pool’. There were a few people swimming already, and Lottie hesitated when she realised that three of them were boys about our age. With their girl-radar working well, they had already spotted us approaching, and were busy checking us out! This had a surprising effect on me: on the one hand, I was quite glad I wasn’t naked; on the other, I felt a bit embarrassed that I wasn’t naked.

“What’s it like in?” Alice called out to them.

“Quite warm, actually!” the dark-haired one replied. “Try it!”

That was all the invitation Alice needed, and she took a running leap into the pool. Hannah followed, more elegantly, whilst Freya opted for the standard approach: sitting on the edge of the pool and lowering herself in. Lottie hung back with me, presumably still a little uncertain in herself. That, it turned out, was an incorrect presumption on my part.

“I wish you’d come in with us,” she said to me, quietly. “I don’t like the idea of you having to just sit there on your own!”

“I’m okay!” I assured her.

“It’s really not as bad as you think!” she told me, by way of encouragement. “It feels really natural and free, actually!”

“I’m glad you like it,” I replied, “it’s just not for me!”

“That’s a shame!” she remarked. “Still, if you change your mind, you know where we are!”

“I tried to get Holly to come in, but she won’t!” Lottie told me, after she’d swum over to join the rest of us.

“Mmm,” I replied, distracted by a thought running through my mind; well, more a feeling, really.


I watched Freya swim over to the side of the pool and clamber out. She walked over to where I was sitting, and plonked herself down beside me. I waited for her to try to persuade me to strip off and swim with them, but she didn’t say anything. Literally, nothing! She just sat there.

I was puzzled! “Freya?” I asked. “What’s up?”

“Nothing’s up!” she replied. “Why?”

“You’re sat here, when you should be in there with the others!”

“I just wanted to sit with the person who means more to me than anyone else in the whole world,” she informed me, “the person I love more than anyone else!”

Instinctively, I slung an arm around her shoulder and pulled her close to me. No words were necessary; she knew how important she was to me, how much I loved her. We sat there, lost in our closeness, oblivious to the world around us. I looked at her, sitting there with a faraway look in her eyes, and my twin sense told me that she was feeling as content and at ease as I was. There, in all her naked vulnerability, I knew she was completely safe and secure, because I would make sure of that!

Suddenly, she was aware of me looking at her. She looked me in the eye and smiled her ever-friendly smile. In that moment, I knew I had it! I had the image I needed!

“Oh, Freya,” I said to her, “me and you, we’re unbreakable!”

“Unbreakable!” I agreed.
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