Go Back   getDare Truth or Dare > Truth OR Dare > Truth or Dare Stories

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 06-14-2013, 12:57 AM   #1
caycay
Senior Member
 
caycay's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 141
Blog Entries: 3
Default Truth or dare with my sisters friends?!

Chapter one

Hi my name is christopher it is the beginning of summer , and tonight my sister, katie, is going to have a small party with just three of her closest friends danyielle, brook, and Jesse. Normally she wouldn't be able to but mom and dad won't be home until school starts, so Katie obviously decided to take advantage. I hear the doorbell ring so I walk over from my room to see that Jesse got here early I'm happy because I've had a crush on her for years now. I say hi and invite her in.
"Do you want something to eat or drink I can go make it real quick" I ask. "Not now" Katie said.
You see I lost a bet with her yesterday so today I will be their party favor I think is what Katie called it. I'm basically supposed to make sure they all stay happy and everything. Seems simple enough.
The doorbell rings again and standing there is danyielle and Brooke.
Brooke pushes me aside and runs to hug Katie, and danyielle gives me her purse. Katie yelled at me to go put it in her room.
After I finished I came back in to find they were playing truth or dare I thought it was just something between friends and. They would order each other to do things so I started to walk to my room.
Katie ran up and grabbed me, and threw me to her friends who made me sit down to play too. Brooke automatically asked me truth or dare. Obviously I said truth because no one picks dare the first round.
"What do you think we will do to you tonight" asked Brooke." I don't really know" i said.
Katie and danyielle laughed. Now I think something bad might happen
__________________
looking for a male slave

if interested contact me at myselfiskool
caycay is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-14-2013, 03:39 AM   #2
res
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Germany
Posts: 81
Blog Entries: 2
Default

Hello caycay,

I guess you won't mind if I give you some feedback for your story.

I like the setting and the general idea behind your story - but you should really reread it after writing. There are so many mistakes in this small text, which could have been avoided purely by reading it 2 or three times.
Also you seem to overdo things. You just jump from him going to get the purse in his sisters room to them playing T&D.
But really the biggest problem I see is the number of grammatical and ortographical mistakes.

So for the next parts: Reread them 3 times and you will certainly get better stories (:

Kind regards
res

P.S.: Oh, and also make them a bit longer - this one was really short.
__________________
Male

I am here to have fun and talk to people. I am looking for the thrill of doing stuff I normally would not be able to.

Keeping this in mind: If you simply want to talk about stuff besides Dares/SM/Sex, simply hit up on me via a PM and I am sure I will take my time to answer
res is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-14-2013, 09:30 AM   #3
tarheel boy
Senior Member
 
tarheel boy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 179
Default

It certainly has potential. I agree with res, and you may want to add some ages too.
__________________
18/m
likes:nudity, semi-public, humiliation, mild bondage and crossdressing
limits: anal, family, friends, pictures, permanent and more than mild pain

you wont see my mienshao until it's too late... DRAIN PUNCH!!!!

"...How about her?"
"Yeah I'd do her."
"What would you do?"
"I'd take her out to a nice dinner, I'd walk her home afterwords, and when we get there, I'd shake the fuck out of her father's hand."
"...lolwut?"
tarheel boy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-14-2013, 09:35 AM   #4
princessjessie
Distinguished Member
 
princessjessie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 968
Blog Entries: 1
Default

Ignore them... This isn't school. If you enjoy writing you should just do it
__________________
Hiya, im Jessie
26/female/uk

princessjessie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-14-2013, 12:06 PM   #5
caycay
Senior Member
 
caycay's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 141
Blog Entries: 3
Default

I know it has bad errors I think it's because I'm on my iPod which makes it more difficult to type
__________________
looking for a male slave

if interested contact me at myselfiskool
caycay is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-14-2013, 04:18 PM   #6
res
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Germany
Posts: 81
Blog Entries: 2
Default

Well, that's something I didn't know

And to jessie: Of course you are right there. It was just a hint to get people to actually read the story - many people stop reading when they find like 2 mistakes (had to learn this the hard way ). Of course nobody is perfect and writing on a phone is kinda hard - but a simple reread also helps to find parts which you yourself do not like that much. I'm often writing stories (not in English, though, as it's not my first language) and often I just reread something and then completeley change it up - just because I think I could have done that better.
Still only talking for me here - and I did not try to offend you at any point, caycay (:
Hope I cleared up a bit.

Kind regards
res
__________________
Male

I am here to have fun and talk to people. I am looking for the thrill of doing stuff I normally would not be able to.

Keeping this in mind: If you simply want to talk about stuff besides Dares/SM/Sex, simply hit up on me via a PM and I am sure I will take my time to answer
res is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Advertisements
Kink Talk

Tags
truth or dare

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 11:59 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.11
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions Inc. - Also check out Kink Talk!reptilelaborer