[Non-Fiction] Keeping Track of these insignificant breasts

[useme871]

This is to 'keep track of things'. I have some requests from ma'am and rather than blogging this seems like a better option.
Yes, the breasts are still 'insignificant'.
I am not allowed to use the bathroom until 10pm tonight, Ma'am wants to continue bladder training.
I am to continue pumping on a regular schedule and freeze the excess breast milk as I have been doing. Starting April 1, 2018 ma'am will give new instructions.
I will be seeing ma'am shortly, there have been discussions about my inability to properly swallow and concern about my ass again.

[MrCharcol]

Your breaststroke really are insignificant..32AA when lactating...Ma'am must like your boyish look

[useme871]

My breasts are insignificant, the only purpose is to produce milk. To provide ma'am a means for punishment and satisfaction. Insignificant breasts allow ma'am to inflict pain and punishment along with humiliation. Ma'am does like and appreciate the physical appearance of her property. That is why she keeps such copious measurements and notes. Insignificant breasts do make for difficult needle play at times.

Tomorrow or shortly thereafter ma'am and I will discuss some new expectations and try to plan a meeting/weekend.

I have not gone to the bathroom from 5pm-10pm the last 2 evenings. Then from 10pm-9am as instructed by ma'am. Between the hours of 9am and 5pm I am not on restriction or when I am at work.

I would like to ask ma'am about an anal speculum.

[useme871]

A few things have come to mind to ask ma'am about
1. an anal speculum or anal spreader for her to utilize
2. nipple 'locks', small jewelry that looks or acts like a locking device
3. develop a strict bathroom schedule for when I'm at home
4. would ma'am like me to consume breastmilk on a regular basis and if so how/when etc.

I'm hoping to be able to have a couple phone calls with her this week, but it all depends on both our schedules and timing. We would like to plan a long weekend in April but again,scheduling.

[MrCharcol]

I wish you the best of luck with scheduling a meeting with Ma'am, I think by the amount you are blogging/ posting, you are missing her sadistic hand. I hope Ma'am is into analysis play and maybe she can start to measure the dilation of your anus with the speculum.

And I sm intrigued by the nipple locks would this be like metal shields/ nipple pasties held in place by a piercing?

Mr Charcol

[useme871]

Today was a good day, I was able to speak with ma'am on the phone for quite some time. We discussed the possibility of a long weekend visit and incorporating some new activities. She said she would look into the nipple jewelry that resembles a padlock. As always she is willing to consider anything that adds to anal humiliation. I am to continue pumping my breasts and she will give further instructions on if I am to consume the milk. No formal bathroom schedule was provided yet. I am still on orgasm denial and confirmed that I have not broken that.

I was instructed to contact my ex husband (we separated last year) master871 and have a conversation with him. I am still on decent terms with him and the master/sub situation with him is in a holding pattern. I called master and we are going to meet in a couple days to 'discuss a few very important matters that were brought to his attention'.

I do not have any issues resuming a dom/sub situation with my ex. We are better as friends and as dom/sub than as married partners.

As required: my breasts remain insignificant, their sole purpose is to produce milk. On occasion they are a pathway to punishment. Otherwise they are useless and an embarrassment to all.

I will continue to update as often as possible.

[useme871]

I will be seeing my ex (Master871) this afternoon/evening. He was very brief in details on the phone,simply stating that we had 'issues and things to discuss'. I am very comfortable with him in this capacity. However; I do need to take sometime and think since I am so very frustrated sexually. I am going on 3 months of orgasm denial, 3 months since I saw ma'am, I don't want to jump right back to master and into an unhealthy dynamic but in the same sense I am willing to submit and resume with him. (divorced yes, but still on the same master/sub level- I believe so). Tomorrow should clarify that. Sometimes you can't live with a person but that doesn't change other dynamics.

I always struggled with giving my ass to master. That was difficult for me. The shame and humiliation was overwhelming. I would not give him complete access. He had complete control and access to everything else. I promise to do better this time. I do not struggle with this for ma'am.

As always: my insignificant breasts remain an embarrassment to those who may want to view my body. Useless and flat, uneven.

[MrCharcol]

I hope it all went well with Master871 and the extra psychological level of knowing that Ma'am has arranged this meeting and that you are submitting to her will by being made to submit to Master871.

[useme871]

I had the first meeting with master today and it went well from my perspective. We got reacquainted about D/s, some expectations, basic rules, safe word, why this was being done and the collaborative approach between master and ma'am. This is in no way meant to be punitive but rather a method of development and preparation for ma'am and improvement for the sub. Also, a way to reintroduce master back into things overall.

We both realize that we will not be starting where we left off and that building trust is going to take some time. Master knows he will need to be patient yet firm. He feels that since he is not in a dual role (husband and master) that when I put up resistance he will be able to keep going and not feel like he is betraying his 'wife' or inflicting undue pain on his 'wife'. Anal has always been difficult for me and I need a master who can continue when I tense up, when my muscles constrict, someone who can follow through regardless of what my body is doing. As a husband he was unable to do that- as a single master- he should be able to carry that out.

Today we remained at the kitchen table and had a conversation but also circled back to the body. What my body type entails and how that can be used for humiliation, training, and punishment.

I was asked very directly if I had broken the orgasm denial and I said 'no', which was the truth. That area of my body needs to be examined and touched but there are ways to numb to keep any sensation from happening. Ma'am is firm about denial and that must be respected. There is no time frame for release.

I will be meeting with master on saturday, the tentative plan is to began with a full exam, see how that goes and progress from there. Master may focus on the breasts or we may try the ass or ma'am may request something else including punishment.

Of course during the meeting master felt necessary to comment on the size of the breasts, the lack of breast tissue and how insignificant the sub's breasts remain. This alone will make the sub unappealing to many masters and the sub should be very grateful for the training she receives.

I was then given a tour of the 'room'. I was shown the eye-hooks,bolts and tie down locations, how things are set up and explained how things would work. I understood the process- it is very similar to what master coordinated previously. This made it easy to visualize myself in certain positions and receiving master.

Saturday afternoon should be a positive experience. My insignificant breasts will be there, ready for what master and ma'am have decided.

[MrCharcol]

I was wondering how Saturday went, and if you found out if Ma'am had given him any instructions. Fiddle he comment on your insignificant breasts or your body, was he pleased with how you have maintained your body?

Mr Charcol

[useme871]

I'm still mentally processing all that happened on Saturday but I wanted to get a small post up. I'm not ready to blog yet.

I went to see master in the late morning, that allowed us close to 3 hrs to get reacquainted, have a discussion and some D/s time. We need to rebuild trust, rebuild a D/s relationship, and see what happens. After a short conversation that both of us wanted to continue, the time frame we had, and both agreed to be comfortable moving forward.

I let master undress me and begin examining me. I was trying to turn my entire body over to him but I was tensing up, I could feel my muscles retracting and pulling away from his every touch. He took the usual measurements and was displeased. I was weighed, there could be a variance due to a different scale. Once I laid down the exam continued and more measurements were taken. My breasts are even more insignificant than previous times. The area between my legs was numbed. I am still on orgasm denial but to continue the exam touching must occur. There needs to be no risk of accidental excitement

Master immediately put nipple stretchers on while my area numbed. I was not to touch the nipple clamps under any circumstances. I could feel my nipples being pulled far away from my body. Once I had no feeling in the appropriate area, master began touching, pulling, opening and looking. He then went for my ass which automatically clamped. Since we are beginning again, he worked the muscles, relaxed the area and patiently waited for results. This was a training session.

At the end of the training my nipples were released and master emptied my breasts. He then took me in my ass.

While I was at Masters house I was able to see the hidden eye-hooks he installed, his leg-spreaders, wrist/ankle cuffs, and other new 'toys' he acquired.

My nipples were still extremely sensitive on Sunday, by Monday night they have almost returned to normal. I did enjoy the new nipple stretching, the sensation was both pain and pulling; something new. I'm not sure how I felt about being numbed. I am still patiently waiting for an orgasm. Being weighed is new. My breasts measured slightly smaller. Making them even more insignificant.

I need more time to mentally process the emotions from the session.

[MrCharcol]

Thank you for such an honest update.

You mentioned being numbed, was that just your very insignificant breasts or also your pussy, and how was this done by applying pain until they were numb or using a medical gel?

I also notice you tend to avoid talking about your cunt, by any name only by implication, is this due to embarrassment? You happily talk about your very small tits, but again being a well brought up lady you use Breasts.

There seems to be a repressive side to you, that tries to ignore the fact you are just Ma'am's chattle to be used for her amusement, embrace your inner slut, it is why you are submissive, as you try to rationalise that these things are being done against your will, but deep down inside you know you crave it.

Mr Charcol

[Gmc2500ejw]

I would like to see these so called insugnifigant breasts as well as the rest of you. Expose yourself to us. Lets see what little milk you can make

[useme871]

I did see master this weekend, I may post an update. I was not able to see him last weekend as I was sick. Tonight I am sore and raw as can be expected. What i can share is we are making progress and I expect in another week or 2 for things to be a full D/s mode again.

Orgasm denial has not been lifted.

My breasts are insignificant and are a disappointment. I should be embarrassed.

[useme871]

My breasts remain insignificant and disappointing. I have not been released from orgasm denial. "life" in general has gotten in the way for both master and myself the past couple months. We both are hoping for some time tomorrow to reconnect and return to D/s. I am going on 5 months with out an orgasm, some days are frustrating, other days I don't even think about it. The goal should remain the same: to offer my ass to master with out hesitation and allow (master) full access to body.