[Non-Fiction] My denial diary

[Pet Ra]

Thursday (Day 207 / 170)
Enemas 07 / 20

During the last weeks it was very warm, so on Monday my body reached a point were it had adapted to the heat. Normally my cunt is relatively calm but then it was like "Screw it. Here have some extra heat from me." So the last five days were pretty much of a challenge for me.
But yesterday we had a big thunderstorm and the temperature dropped by half.

We went to the city in the late evening and suddenly my body was like "Oh, it's nice and cool. Let's get really horny". It just hit me like a truck as we went down the street.
I gasped for air and my ice cream fell out of my hand as I pressed it against my stomach and bend forward. My nipples got so hard that it almost hurt, while my cunt was pulsating like crazy. I was unable to take any more steps, clenched my tights together and started to shake.

Immediately Master and Mistress were at my side, brought me to a park bench and asked me what happened. I just begged them to bring me somewhere where I didn't have to pretend to be a normal human being, so Mistress stayed with me, while Master got the car.

As we stepped out the elevator (normally I always use the stairs, but now I was really not in the condition for that) I had calmed a bit. But nevertheless my jeans hat some noticeably dark spots at my tights and after the door to the flat had closed I got out of my clothes so hastily that I ripped my shirt.

After I had undressed myself I caught a glimpse of my body in the big mirror.
The face blushed, I was heavily panting and shaking. My nipples were so stiff like they could cut glass. My tights were glistering in my juices and as Master removed the belt I could see that my pubes were a complete sticky mess. I really liked the view, like it was a picture of my true self

But Master and Mistress also were worried that I'll overdo it with the chastity, so we had a talk about it. I told them that I want to have an orgasm, of course. But not now. We have more than two weeks of summer holiday, I want to see if my body calms down till then and maybe I will earn one in that time.

As I locked myself again strangely I felt more complete and kinda brave.
But then Mistress just get up and got some pliers. She took her key, cut it in half and told me that this had been my last chance. I should never annoy her with begging for my orgasm again.

As the wonderful Yasna (I hope she is well with her studies and will come back one day. I kinda miss her ) wrote in her blog:
"Denial. Anger. Bargaining. Depression. Acceptance. The five stages of grief."
Looks like I have reached the fifth stage in just 23 days. Fuck

[Pet Ra]

Wednesday (Day 213 / 176)
Enemas 07 / 20

Well, it's been six days again since my last report and I still don't know what happened last week that I got that horny. Maybe my cunt wanted to tell me what she think of this. But at the moment it is relatively calm.

We had to change the lock to the ass shield (we had a one-key-system), so Mistress can open it to let me poop. But she can't set me free anymore, as she intended.

Anyhow, she take every chance to let me know that I'm inferior in her eyes.
Yesterday she told me to look straight ahead while she sat sideways from me and shaved her pussy. While doing so she told how nice it feels having a smooth pussy and wearing soft panties instead of having a hairy-bush-monster that needed to be caged away in hard steel.
After Mistress had shaved she started to rub herself and telling me how nice it feels while I was still not allowed to look at her. I tried to peek, but soon my eyes hurt because I kept looking to one side for so long. I was squirming all the time till she finally called me. But just to kneel about 1m away and watch her how she fucked herself with one of my toys (because I don't have any use for them anymore). But after few minutes she told me to come closer and while I was eating her out she asked me if I remember last time I got licked. I closed my eyes as the memory washed over me when Master gently pulled me open, blew cool air against my hot spot and then gave me a long slow lick. It left me trembling because I really want to feel it again.
After Mistress reached her climax she told me how nice it feels to have an orgasm whenever she wants and how good it feels to fuck my boyfriend.
I pulled a pout in frustration and she laughed at me.

Same with Master.
Sometimes he just opens my belt and I have to hold the crotch shield while he jerk off till he shoot his load against my pubes before locking me again. Or he opens the belt and after I sucked him off I have spit his sperm in it. The result is the same: I spent the rest of the evening crawling around with my creamed fur. I love it.

Also I got more trained the last days. Master told me to work on my attitude. Because when I get told to give oral pleasure I seem to want it got done quickly, especially when pleasuring Mistress. It looks like I'm not worshipping the gift my owners make me.
I guess they're right. But it's hard to concentrate on giving good head or eating pussy while you have the feeling that your lower body could erupt in flames any second. But Master told me that I had choosen to be their pet, I gave away my orgasm voluntary, I had enough chances to have one, but because I want to earn my pleasure I decided not to. But he didn't see me putting any effort in it.
But also he confessed that he and Mistress went sloppy with it too.

I have to admit: That made me think and I started to read some pet journals again (I had read and saved some on my PC but didn't look at them for a long time). So I asked them if we could we sat together in the evening and update the laws and rules.

Laws are very strict and if I break them the punishment is most serve.
It have to be humiliating and will include my genitals and / or breasts.
Rules are not that strict and can be bend a bit (I forbid myself to talk now, but I have to talk for asking permission to talk).
If I break them I will get punished too, of course. But not so intense.

Furthermore the punishments for breaking a rule will be collected and I get them all together every Friday (my punishment-day), while for breaking a law I will get punished as soon as possible in the next 24 hours.

Let's see if this help to make me a happy pet

[Pet Ra]

Monday (Day 219 / 182)
Enemas 07 / 20

Mistress was working in the afternoon while I was expected to clean the flat and cook dinner, but I choose to hang around here.
Even I wrote that I had to do some cleaning "otherwise Master would get mad" I kept writing there because "I'll get punished anyway". So I obvious I didn't really care. The only positive is that I gave advise to someone who is interested in chastity, too.

So, I will get punished on Friday, if you like you can post some ideas, number of spankings etc. here. Only exception: It must be able to be done without removing my castity belt.

As a reminder that not just my cunt but also my access to gD can be denied I had to edit my Profile with the picture it have now

[BiEmily]

One fun punishment, more in thé humiliation direction, I endure from time to time is being made to go out shopping in my schoolgirl uniform You might wanna try that too. Otherwise having your wrists curfed to your collar is also a fun punishment

Also, add fifty soanks to each buttcheek from me.

[Pet Ra]

Sorry, in Germany we don't have school uniforms

[Sammylikes]

I think your master should make you a 1.5l enema (if you can take off your ass shield) and make you hold it while he spanks you.
How many spanks you ask ?

Let's say 5 for each time your wrote "edge" here

Happy ?

[Pet Ra]

Originally Posted by Sammylikes

I think your master should make you a 1.5l enema (if you can take off your ass shield) and make you hold it while he spanks you.
How many spanks you ask ?

Let's say 5 for each time your wrote "edge" here

Happy ?

Thank you.
But then I can't post there anymore without adding spankes to myself.
*pulls a pout*

I counted 82 times I wrote "edge" - so 410 spankings
I'm afraid that I can't handle that in a row

[Sammylikes]

Originally Posted by Pet Ra

Thank you.
But then I can't post there anymore without adding spankes to myself.
*pulls a pout*

Actually you very much can... It just won't be as free.
Besides, it's because of your posting that you ended uo in this situation, don't you think it would be a good lecon ?

Originally Posted by Pet Ra

I counted 82 times I wrote "edge" - so 410 spankings
I'm afraid that I can't handle that in a row

Ooooohhh... Poor thing ( <- not sorry at all actually)

But you're right. That's an awefull lot ! Would it help if we splited that in two sessions ?

[Pet Ra]

Originally Posted by Sammylikes

Actually you very much can... It just won't be as free.
Besides, it's because of your posting that you ended uo in this situation, don't you think it would be a good lecon ?

I guess I had abused the power given and that's what I got for it.
May my suffering be long and painful

Originally Posted by Sammylikes

Ooooohhh... Poor thing ( <- not sorry at all actually)

But you're right. That's an awefull lot ! Would it help if we splited that in two sessions ?

Can we see how much I get in total, first?
But, do I have to take every session with an enema?

[Sammylikes]

Originally Posted by Pet Ra

Can we see how much I get in total, first?

I've senn you've became smart, I doubt the number will increase a lot from now on

Originally Posted by Pet Ra

But, do I have to take every session with an enema?

Of course, that's the whole point. Silly pet.
And, before you ask, no, you can't count those in the 13 enemas you still have to do.

[Pet Ra]

Originally Posted by Sammylikes

...Of course, that's the whole point. Silly pet.
And, before you ask, no, you can't count those in the 13 enemas you still have to do.

Damn, I didn't asked that on purpose, trying to keep that loophole undetected

I asked Master if he allowes me to take of the ass shield for the punishment.
According to him he would allow me to take of my whole ass if it fits the punishment

[Sammylikes]

Originally Posted by Pet Ra

Damn, I didn't asked that on purpose, trying to keep that loophole undetected

Nice try

Originally Posted by Pet Ra

I asked Master if he allowes me to take of the ass shield for the punishment.
According to him he would allow me to take of my whole ass if it fits the punishment

Your master is a great man (but of course you already know that).

[Pet Ra]

Master told me I can choose:
1) 150 spankings per session on three following days or
2) 100 spankings per session on five following days (+ 50 spanks)
In all sessions I will be filled with a 1,5l enema.

Decisions, decisions...

[Pet Ra]

Friday (Day 222 / 185)
Enemas 07 / 20

Punishment counter:
Spankings 0 / 500
Enemas 0 / 5

As I woke up in the morning I felt extra wet. But then I got light cramps and I knew: It's that time of the month again

Curses. I could have done with it just in time before school starts again. I even chose the three days session so I don't have to sit on my spanked ass the next day in school (Masters opinion is that you have to feel a good spanking for several hours). Now I'll choose the 5 day session and hope that it won't hurt that much / that long.
Even that means more enemas and more spanks - damn, I feel like my body just wants me to get disciplined

Master unlocked me, so I could wash and put a pad in place. He even made the belt a notch lose so I could fit in the thick pads. Before he left to work he told me that I'm allowed to use my emergency keys if I need to change before Mistress comes back. But just for change and cleaning, I shouldn't even think about to touch me down there.
I know that some women get really horny during their period, I just get a bit more aroused, but don't enjoy rub myself with that clumpy blood sticking in my pubes.
Also he gave me another envelope with keys that I had to hand to Mistress. I guess she didn't thought that trough when she threw away her set

And to make the day more perfect the internet-connection was off in the morning. No telephone, no internet, no television. But I was allowed on the furniture (most laws and rules don't apply when I'm sick or in pain) so I could lay down under a blanked, read a book and nap a bit.

When Mistress came home at noon she woke me up. I tried to explain why I'm at the sofa but she told me that Master called her already. Then she asked for the key so I could wash myself and change the pad. After we had lunch she made sure that I feel comfortable and when Master came home he made sure the same. We just gonna have a cosy evening today

So, nothing worth reporting and no punishment for my misbehaviour the next days. Sorry.

[Pet Ra]

Tuesday (Day 226 / 189)
Enemas 07 / 20

Punishment counter:
Spankings 150 / 450
Enemas 1 / 3

Last day of period, last day of holidays, first day of my punishment. I decided to do the shorter but more intense version because then I will be done for the weekend.

This weekend we made a short trip and Master booked one double and one single room at a hotel. The Woman at the front-desk told us that they have rooms for families with teenagers too.
She thought I was 14
But I guessed she was embarrassed too as Master told her how old I am - serves her right
Nevertheless it boosts Mistress because she always had make fun of my child-like body, guess that won't change very soon.

Because we have school tomorrow Mistress and me bought some grocery and school stuff. Later we went window shopping till we ended in a café. So I had a really nice afternoon with my friend.

Then we got home and she turned into Mistress. I love to see this "transformation".
When we both stand in the vestibule my friend closes her eyes and take a deep breath. It's like she turns on a switch and when she opens her eyes again my friend is fading, making room for Mistress.
She watches me while I undress myself and by the time I kneel in front of her, waiting to be collared, Mistress completely took over. I'm not her friend anymore, not even human - without a single word spoken I got degraded and after she put the butt-plug-tail in my ass I was stripped of my dignity too. We may have entered this room as equals, but we leave it as a Mistress and her pet. I love it.

While Mistress started to put the groceries away I decided to gave my toys a cleaning.
Oh the memories. That nice pink, slim dildo. My very first toy.
I kneeled there and was lost in my thoughts about how brave and naughty I felt as I put it in my ass. I didn't even noticed that I became a dripping mess and was groping my tits. I even pressed it at my back but the ass-shield took care that I couldn't do anything stupid. I winced as Mistress laughed in my back. She told me that it really was a good idea to lock away all accesses to my lower body and because my period was gone already I should put everything out that would be needed for my punishment tonight. So I placed my enema kit and the lube on the stool in the bathroom, filled the big measurement-cup with 1,5l water and put a plug next to if Master wants to give me some help, holding it.
After that was done I took the paddle in my mouth to carry it to the living room, then I got the crop and last my gag. Of course I was crawling and with every trip I made I left a trail of dots that were leaking through the piss holes of my belt. Now everything was prepared for my punishment, a silent witness for my naughty behaviour.

Then I went to the kitchen to help Mistress.
She told me to stand up so I could put the plates (Masters and Mistress') on the table, but as she looked at my crotch she sighed and shook her head. She ordered me to "wipe these whore juices and wash my hands before touching anything normal people want to eat from"
Mistress also insisted that put I a towel next to my punishment-stuff too, so I could clean myself if needed.

Soon after everything was done Master came home and I greeted him as the door as usual.
He asked Mistress if I had behaved well so she told him that I tried to put my dildo in the ass and that I was leaking most of the afternoon. The grinned and said that it looks like I really want this punishment, so there was no need to postpone it.

So he ordered me to the bathroom. He praised my preparation and opened the ass-shield. After I was filled with the 1,5l water he got the pink dildo, lubed it and shoved it up my arse - it was almost like the evening routine I gave LucyLewd. After he closed the shield again I crawled to the living room. I thought Master would order me to bend over the armrest of the sofa or a chair, but he sat down instead and patted on his knees and after I took my place he started. I received a nice OTK spanking with his bare hands. I love it, because it's so much more personal than getting paddled. He made me count every slap loud while hitting my right cheek. The first 30 were not that bad, but because of his big hands (or my small buttocks) he almost hit the same spot every time, which made it really intense. Not that I mind (hehe) and the last spanks definitely were moaned and not spoken.
But because the dildo in my ass was slim and smooth (not like the plug) it started to slip out of me. So I was really, really thankful for the ass-shield. I guess without it the dildo would just popped out of me and I would have soiled the wooden floor. Yuck.
Once I got my 75 spanks on the right cheek I had to lay over his other knee and got 75 spanks on my left. It felt interesting to have one half of my ass burning red, while the other half was still normal. Well, Master made sure it became even.
After I received the first third of my punishment ordered me 15 Minutes corner time, without touching my butt. Oh, how much I would love to rub it, because it started to tingle. But I was allowed to grope my tits and squeeze my nipples, which was nice.

Then I was finally ordered to the bathroom.
Master removed my belt, gave me some slow but deep fucks with the dildo and after the enema went out he showered with me. First I had to clean the belt and the dildo, of course. The cool water felt so nice on my heated skin, especially my ass.
Last he washed my genitals, with ice-cold water, as usual.

Now I sit here, belted again, with a nice red butt and wait that my hair dries while uploading my report.

Even he spanked me quite hard I don't know if it really can count as a punishment. It just felt so nice laying over his lap and feel his firm touch. According to my wetness "enjoying" would clearly be an understatement. But I guess tomorrow I'll regret this.