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Old 04-24-2018, 12:23 PM   #31
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Default Episode 4 (Part 3)

The warble from her phone lets Maddie know that her frenetic texting hasn’t been in vain. She checks to see what’s arrived and then gives us an update: “Stacie’s just as shocked and surprised as we are! She didn’t know anything about the concert until she saw it on the show just now! I can’t believe Gemma kept it secret from her!”

“Maybe she had to, because of the contract with the TV people,” I suggest.

“It must have been so hard to not tell anyone!” imagines Maddie.


“Welcome back!” says Trixie. “Before the break we saw the pressure ramp up as our daredevils found out exactly what they’re facing in this week’s special group dares!”

“Yeah,” adds Joe, “I think I can safely say that they weren’t expecting to be doing their dares in quite the way they’ve turned out!”

“Singing in front of royalty; leading football chants at Wembley Stadium; and trying to raise as much money for charity as possible in four hours’ busking,” Trixie reminds us.

“That’s what they’re up against!” remarks Joe.

“So, let’s take a look at how they prepared!” Trixie says, taking us into the next filmed segment of the show.

This time, our three groups’ mentors provide voiceovers as we jump between the groups, watching as each of them takes another step towards being ready to perform their dare …

… “Now they know more about their dare,” begins Aleksandra, “Keenan wants the group to settle their differences.”

“What do you suggest, then?” we hear him say to Shanumi.

She shrugs. “There’s no point people who can’t sing trying to lead the crowd singing, is there?” she replies.

“But you haven’t said what we can do,” he tells her. “You can’t just sit there and be negative all the time!”

She sits, arms folded across her chest, defiantly, and looks at him, but says nothing.

“Oh, man,” complains Tariq, “this is getting us nowhere, innit!” He takes out his phone and starts swiping the screen …

… “The buskers have enough instruments between them for backing, but they need a confident singer,” Lowri informs us. “So, Mia sets about persuading Jaz.”

“Come on, Jaz,” we see Mia say, “just give it a go!”

“I can’t just sing, on my own, like that,” Jaz complains, “I need something to sing to.”

Dylan begins swiping his phone, “Let me find something on here!” he offers.

As he continues to search for a song Jaz knows, we hear Lowri tell us, “Mia knows that, if Jaz doesn’t agree to sing, they are in a difficult situation. The other three either can’t or won’t sing, so they are pinning all their hopes on Jaz.”

Dylan has found a song that Jaz knows the lyrics to and is playing it on his phone, encouraging her to sing along. When she does, we and her fellow buskers realise she has a really good singing voice …

… “The three boys decide to press ahead without Shanumi for the moment,” says Aleksandra.

We see Tariq, Keenan, and James making a list of well-known football chants on a whiteboard that they’ve found lying around the studio. Tariq is still swiping away on his phone.

“Wanting to find if there are any special chants for each team, Tariq and Keenan put google to work,” Aleksandra continues.

“Oh, what!” exclaims Tariq. “Listen to this one, innit!” He plays a clip on his phone, of fans chanting, which we can just about hear: ‘celery, celery; if she don’t come, I’ll tickle her bum, with a lump of celery’ …

… “Eilidh is putting the choir through some individual singing exercises, to try to work out how their voices might fit together best,” we hear Lorna tell us.

Eilidh begins by demonstrating the vocal exercise she wants them to do, allowing us to discover that she has a very polished soprano voice. When Ayla tries the exercise, her voice is stronger and slightly mellower, but she appears to have a little trouble with the highest notes; Gemma’s singing voice has a soft, fragile quality to it that would be perfect for the right kind of song.

“The boys’ attempts at the singing exercise really give Eilidh something to think about!” comments Lorna.

Matt has great difficulty working his way through the exercise, struggling to hit any right notes. But it is Tommy who provides the moment of surprise, both to his fellow choir members and to us, the viewers. When he tries the exercise, he hits every note perfectly, with a splendidly toned bass voice, much to Eilidh’s great delight.

“God, Tommy,” she exclaims, “you’ve got a great voice! We need tae make your voice a feature!”

“I’m not singing solo!” Tommy warns her. “No way! I’ll sing as a group, but not on my own!”

Eilidh looks disappointed, but says, “Okay, but, people need tae hear you sing!” …

… We return to the Wembley-bound group, and Aleksandra reports, “James tries to get Shanumi to take an interest.”

“We need a strong voice to lead the chants!” he tells her. “I can’t do it and nor can Tariq! And I don’t know about Keenan! But I bet you can!”

She looks at him and shrugs. “I can sing, but what’s the point?” she asks him.

“The point, young lady,” he tells her, showing the first signs of irritation, “is that I don’t want us to go out there and make complete idiots of ourselves! And you’re the best chance we’ve got of not doing that!”

She smiles, and we wonder whether James is managing to break down her defences …

… “Eilidh is really excited about the talent there is amongst the choir members, but there is one problem:” Lorna says, “Matt!”

“Matt, I dinnae want this tae sound nasty in any way,” Eilidh tells him, “but you cannae sing!”

“I know!” laughs Matt.

“No,” Eilidh corrects his misunderstanding, “what I mean is, you cannae sing with us! Your singing is so bad that it would make us miss our notes, so you just cannae sing with us! Sorry, but that’s how it is! But, I dinnae want tae leave you out, though!”

“I could just stand and look pretty!” suggests Matt, with a grin.

“What, looking like that?!” exclaims Ayla. “I don’t think so!” she adds amidst much laughter.

“Nice one!” Matt tells her.

Tommy suddenly turns to Matt and says, “Can you whistle, mate?” Matt gives an extravagant display of his whistling skills. “Why don’t we use Matt’s whistling for the instrumental breaks?” Tommy offers. “You know, instead of a guitar solo, we have a whistling solo!”

“Yes!” says Ayla, insistently.

“Aye,” agrees Eilidh, “that could work! Would you be happy with that, Matt?”

“Yeah, definitely!” he confirms …

… “With Jaz having agreed to sing,” Lowri informs us, “the group begin to plan how they might fill four hours of busking.”

“I can’t sing for four hours!” Jaz points out.

“No,” says Mia, “we’ll use your singing as highlights between other parts where we’re playing and stuff.”

“What do you do when you go busking?” Dylan asks Mia.

“We’re only allowed to do an hour at a time,” she explains, “then we have to leave for at least an hour.”

“Okay, I get that,” Dylan replies, “but, still, what do you do?”

“So, we play well-known tunes or pieces of music on a load of different instruments.”

“Like what?”

“Well, I play clarinet, penny whistle, recorder, and keyboards,” Mia tells them, “and Coops plays percussion, guitar and violin.”

“Blimey!” exclaims Jaz. “That’s half an orchestra!” …

… Aleksandra brings us up-to-date with the group she’s chaperoning. “James is still trying to encourage Shanumi to participate, while the other two think they have found some likely chants.”

When Shanumi sees the chants, all the progress James has made goes out the window. “I’m not singing that crap!” she announces.

“That’s what football crowds sing!” Keenan tells her.

“I don’t care,” she insists, “I’m not singing that!”

“Look,” Keenan argues, “you can’t rock up to a football match and sing Little Mix songs!”

She just sits there and rolls her eyes.

“Oh, this is pointless!” Keenan tells the others. He storms across the studio and out the door. Tariq looks at the other two, before deciding to follow Keenan out …

… “Encouraged by Eilidh’s enthusiasm, the choir are trying to come up with some suitable songs to sing,” Lorna tells us.

“We need tae find the right song for your voice, Gemma!” Eilidh tells the rainbow-haired girl. “It needs tae be something soft and tender!”

“I really like ‘Somewhere Over The Rainbow’,” Gemma tells her, “would that be any good?”

“Are you having a laugh?!” Matt asks, referring to the rainbow reference and Gemma’s multi-coloured hair.

Gemma belatedly realises the irony of her choice of song, and laughs. “No, honestly, I love that song,” she adds, “and I know all the words and everything!”

“No, no,” cries Eilidh, “that would be perfect! Your voice is just right for that song! We’re definitely doing that!” …

“That’s one of the songs she used to sing to me!” cries Lissie. “I love that song!”

… “After Keenan and Tariq walk out,” continues Aleksandra, “Shanumi opens up to James.”

“I can’t work with those two,” she tells him, “especially Keenan. He’s a dick!”

“Well, we’ve got a dare to do,” he replies, “so we’ve got no choice.”

“But we do, though, don’t we!” she argues.

“How d’you mean?”

“Well, think about it!” Shanumi explains her idea. “There’s two teams, right, so that means two lots of fans in the crowd, yeah?”

“Yeah,” James acknowledges.

“So, why don’t we get a proper competition going between the two lots of fans: who can sing the loudest or the best? You and me work with one lot, the other two work with the other lot.”

James ponders the idea for a moment, before replying, “I think that could work! And it would give more of a point to the whole thing as far as the crowd is concerned.”

“That’s settled then!” Shanumi declares …

… Lorna brings us the latest from the choir: “Eilidh desperately wants to showcase Tommy’s voice, but he’s proving a hard nut to crack!”

“Is there no way that we can persuade you tae sing solo?” Eilidh pleads with Tommy.

“No, sorry,” he replies, “I know I can’t. I’ll be so nervous my voice will just dry up!”

“I’ve just had an idea!” announces Ayla.

“Go on!” encourages Eilidh.

“You know that old song, ‘Stand By Me’,” she begins, continuing when everyone except Gemma confirms they do know it, “well, what if you sing it, Eilidh, but Tommy does the ‘bom-bom, bm-bm-bom-bom’ bit?”

Eilidh shrieks with delight. “Ayla, you’re a genius! That’s brilliant! God, Tommy, please say you’ll do it! Please!”

“I reckon I could do that!” he says.

Eilidh’s creative juices are really flowing now. “And Matt, can you click your fingers?” Matt demonstrates that he can. “That’s our percussion!” she decides. “Matt clicks his fingers, Tommy does the bassline, and us girls sing over the top! Brilliant! Oh my God, this is gonnae be so good!” …

… “Things are also going well with the buskers,” Lowri comments.

Mia is organising the others, checking that everyone knows what they are going to be doing. “So, I’ll get Coops to bring the van up with all our stuff loaded. That means we’ll have a couple of amps, a speaker and some mics. Plus all our instruments. Bradley, does your guitar have an amp socket so we can plug it in?”

“Yeah,” Bradley affirms.

“Good, so you bring your guitar. Jaz, you’re singing. Dylan, you can do the percussion, assuming you can keep time.” She looks questioningly at Dylan, who just looks blankly back at her. “Can you hit something when you’re supposed to hit it,” she clarifies, “not just randomly whenever the urge takes you?”

“Probably!” Dylan tells her, somewhat unhelpfully …

… “James has found Keenan and Tariq, and tells them Shanumi’s idea,” Aleksandra lets us know.

“So, what d’you reckon?” he asks them.

“Whatever!” says Keenan, sounding nonplussed by the idea.

“I think it’s the only way you’ll get her to do the dare,” James points out.

“Okay,” Tariq agrees, “let’s do it. You’re doing Chelsea, innit!” he informs James …

Back live in the studio, Trixie and Joe turn from watching the screen so that they are facing us once more.

“Well, it looks like all three groups may have finally got themselves sorted!” Trixie remarks.

“But, obviously, there’s a lot more work to be done before they’re ready to perform their dares!” Joe points out.

“So,” Trixie continues, “join us after the break on Britain’s Most Daring, and we’ll see how that goes! Don’t go away!”

Phil gets up and heads for the door.

“She said don’t go away!” Lissie reminds him, playfully.

“When you’ve got to go, you’ve got to go!” he informs her, and exits.

“And he’s got to go!” I add, eliciting a giggle from the two girls.

Last edited by alli55; 04-24-2018 at 12:58 PM. Reason: Correcting the format; GetDare is being really awkward tonight!
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Old 04-25-2018, 11:50 AM   #32
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Default Episode 4 (Part 4)

Even though it’s buried deep within the sleeping bag, I can tell that Lissie’s foot is wiggling away like mad! I love the way that the more excited she gets the less control she has over her foot! Best of all, she doesn’t even realise she’s doing it!

“Lissie,” I say, unable to resist the temptation, “can you keep your foot still, please? It’s distracting me!”

Maddie sniggers as her younger sister looks up, her face a picture of innocence.

“Mam!” she protests. “I’m not even doing anything!”

“It’s wiggling!” I tell her.

“You can’t even see it!”

“I can see enough to know it’s wiggling!” She gives me an injured look. Deciding I’ve let the joke go far enough, I kneel down on the floor next to her and rub the top of her head. She looks up at me again, and I take the opportunity to give her a light kiss on her forehead. “I’m only teasing;” I tell her, “you carry on wiggling, I know how excited you are about all this! We all are!”

I retake my place on the sofa, just as Phil returns and plonks himself back down next to me.


When we return to the studio from the ad-break, we can see that Trixie and Joe have been joined by Aleksandra, Lowri, and Lorna, all of whom have glammed-up for the evening. Joe, we notice, is wearing his dark glasses once more.

“Welcome back to Britain’s Most Daring!” Trixie enthuses. “I’m Trixie Stonehill …

We wait, expectantly, for Joe to follow in the familiar manner, but he remains silent.

“Joe …” prompts Trixie. Still nothing. Trixie snaps her fingers in front of his face. “Joe!” she barks.

He gives his head a little shake, as if returning from a very pleasant day-dream. “Sorry,” he says, taking off his shades, “I might have got a bit distracted there for a moment!” He raises his eyebrows to the camera, whilst Aleksandra winks and Lowri wraps an arm around his waist. “Where were we?” he asks.

“I’m Trixie Stonehill …” Trixie repeats.

“… and I’m going for a lie-down in a darkened room!” he quips.

Trixie shakes her head slowly and rolls her eyes. “Before the break we saw our three groups of daredevils start to get themselves sorted for their dares.”

“As you can see,” Joe continues, “with us in the studio are wor three lovely ladies, who’ve been keeping an eye on the groups this week.”

“They’re here to tell us how the rehearsals went,” Trixie informs us. “Let’s start with our footballing group! Aleksandra …?”

Aleksandra takes a step forward. She is wearing a gravity-defying dress, which begins at a point that reveals the top part of her breasts, but nothing untoward, and flows down to her ankles. The aquamarine colour is matched by the gloves that run up to just below her elbows and also by her high-heeled shoes. The whole ensemble is set off by her sparkling blue eyes.

“So, after the difficulties they had to start with,” she reports, “they manage to work together enough to find some suitable chants.”

As she talks, the big screen in the studio fills with images of Keenan, Tariq, James, and Shanumi working as described. After a few seconds, we leave the studio and pick up these images, leaving Aleksandra as just a voice once more.

“Although they are going to be doing the dare in two pairs, they need to have some chants that both sets of fans will sing. Of course, they can’t be too rude, either! After a lot of searching, they think they have enough. Now they have to decide how they are going to arrange the competition between the fans.”

“So, how is it going to work, exactly,” asks Tariq.

“Well,” says James, “it seems to me each pair has got one singer and one non-singer. So, how about if the non-singer encourages the crowd to get involved, and then the singer leads the chant? Would that work?”

“And we make sure the fans know that they’re trying to be better at it than the other team’s fans,” Shanumi reminds them.

“So, we both do one chant,” Tariq checks, “then both do another, innit?”

“Yeah, that’s it!” James tells him.

Aleksandra’s voiceover resumes, as we see the group, seemingly all happy again, continuing to plan their dare. “Now they are clear about what they are going to do, and they have chosen some chants that they think will work, there is one more thing they need to do.”

“If you’re Chelsea,” Keenan tells James and Shanumi, “you need to be wearing blue. We can always get some club scarves, but you have to be wearing blue generally as well.”

“I’ll just buy a Chelsea shirt and wear it over my other stuff,” James informs them.

“I’ve got plenty of blue outfits,” Shanumi adds, “so that’s no problem!”

“Obviously, we’ll be wearing claret and blue,” says Keenan. “That means you can’t wear your QPR shirt!” he tells Tariq.

“Would I?” Tariq teases.

“With that sorted,” Aleksandra continues, “the group are confident they have done all they need to do to prepare for their dare. They agree to meet up at Wembley Stadium at 4 o’clock on Friday, giving them plenty of time before they have to be pitch-side.”

During the last part of her last speech, we leave the big-screen images and return to the studio, where Aleksandra is talking into camera.

“Thank-you, Aleks,” Joe says, as she takes a step back to realign herself with her fellow presenters.

“So, you’ve been with them all this week,” Trixie says, “how well do you think they prepared?”

“It was hard for them, I think,” she replies, “because they have not got a group that is confident with singing. We already know Shanumi can be sometimes difficult, and the two younger guys found it hard to deal with her. I think it was important that James was there, because he was able to bring the others together. But how well the dare is for them, it will depend on what mood Shanumi is in when they get to Wembley. So, it is difficult to predict!”

“Well, we’ll take a look at how it went for them a little later on,” Joe tells us.

“Right now,” continues Trixie, “here’s Lorna to tell us how the week was for the choir.”

Lorna takes her place front of stage. She has gone for a more demure look than the others, with a navy-blue satin dress that comes to just below her knees. The sleeves are made of a see-through lace with a navy-blue pattern weaving its way down each arm.

Once again, as she speaks the big-screen images begin, and we soon transfer to those, leaving Lorna to voiceover the images.

“Having chosen two of the three songs, the group get stuck when they try to pick a third. So, instead of spending too much time on that to start with, they set about learning the other two. With her experience of singing in a choir, the others look to Eilidh for inspiration.”

Behind Lorna’s voiceover, we hear Ayla, Eilidh, Gemma, Matt, and Tommy rehearsing ‘Stand By Me’. Lorna stops speaking, to allow us to hear a bit of the song more clearly. When she resumes, they have switched to ‘Somewhere Over The Rainbow’, and we hear Matt trying out various different whistled accompaniments.

“Eilidh is really keen for everyone to get a chance in the spotlight,” Lorna says, “and that means some intricate whistling for Matt. By the time they break, to return home, the songs are starting to take shape. But they still haven’t come up with a third song, and they all know that to get to the standard they want, they are going to need a lot more rehearsal time.”

“We’ve got to do this properly guys!” urges Ayla. “It’s not just some dare, it’s for a really good cause, and, obviously, there’s William and Harry.”

“And Meghan, probably!” adds Eilidh,

“We need to have as much time as possible to practice,” agrees Matt.

“They agree to go home for a day, to pick up a suitable outfit to wear for the performance, and then travel up to Glasgow and spend the rest of the week rehearsing solidly. It’s a big commitment, but one which everyone is more than happy to agree to. By the time they get together again, Eilidh has come up with a third song that meets everyone’s approval. As Friday approaches, nerves begin to set in, but Ayla’s positivity keeps the others’ nerves in check.”

By the time she finishes, we are back in the studio with Lorna front of stage. After concluding, she steps back into the line-up with the others.

“They’ve really put a lot of time and effort into this, haven’t they?!” Trixie comments.

“Oh, they’ve been amazing!” declares Lorna. “So dedicated! You saw it in the film, but when I was with them, it was really striking just how much importance they were placing on not just doing the dare but giving their very best for Heads Together. That was always what I kept hearing, ‘we must do this properly’, over and over again! It was really impressive! Just for the sheer amount of effort they’ve put into this, they deserve to do really well!”

“And we’ll see how their performance turned out a bit later on,” Trixie states.

“Time to see how wor final group spent their week,” Joe says. “They had the added problem of keeping wor Lowrie under control!”

Lowri gives a shrug, as if to say “I don’t know what you mean!” as she steps forward. She is wearing a tight black skirt that ends midway down her thighs. Above this she has a red lacy top, that is sheer to some degree or other throughout, with the chest panel comfortably the least see-through part of the garment. She has a red rose in her hair to complement the top.

The format is exactly the same as for the other two groups earlier.

“I travelled down to meet Mia in Weymouth, as she and her friend Coops gathered together all their equipment. Coops has access to a large van, which he’s borrowed for a few days, so early on Friday morning they loaded up and headed for Bristol. For some reason, they wouldn’t let me bring the maracas I’d found lying around!”

We see Lowri brandishing a pair of maracas, before Mia tells her “no way!”, prompting Lowri to toss the maracas over each shoulder and walk out of shot.

The van pulls up in the car park of a standard chain hotel in Bristol, and we see Mia, Coops, and Lowri waiting for the others to arrive. As Lowri’s voiceover continues, we see first Dylan, then Bradley, and finally Jaz join the group.

“As they begin to gather in sunny Bristol,” she continues, “Mia is trying to plan the busking session in her mind. She and Coops have songs that they are familiar with, though Coops won’t be playing tomorrow, of course. She is hoping that Bradley and Jaz have brought some songs with them, as instructed. When they arrive, though, she discovers that Bradley has forgotten.”

“For God’s sake, Bradley,” Mia cries, “one simple job!”

“It’s no problem,” he replies, “I can pop back home and get some; it won’t take long!”

“But we need to have time to practice them!”

“It’ll be alright!” Bradley tells her. “You worry too much!”

“As Bradley goes to get some songs,” Lowri goes on, “the rest of them find a room in the hotel large enough to set up the equipment. I help Dylan explore the percussion section.”

We see Dylan and Lowri examining a number of different percussion instruments, and are maybe surprised to see that, far from ditching the maracas, Lowri obviously retrieved them and brought them with her after all! She gives them a quick shake and grins mischievously at the camera.

“After Bradley returns with his music, they discover that these new songs are not really what Mia was expecting,” reports Lowri. “She is not happy, and tells him that he is now going to have a very minor role tomorrow morning. He doesn’t take this well, and, with less than 12 hours to go before they start busking, the tension is mounting.”

Lowri steps back into line, as Joe moves across to talk to her.

“What is it with you?” he asks. “Can you not go more than five minutes without playing with your maracas?”

“If you got some, you play with ’em!” she replies, with a twinkle in her eye.

“So, we saw that there was some tension in the group.”

“Yes, there was,” Lowri confirms. “Mia and Bradley are two very different characters, and we know how abrasive Mia can be. Bradley just seems to be able to find ways to rub her up the wrong way! They’ve got the potential to do really well at this dare, but only if they can resolve their differences. Otherwise things could go very badly indeed for them!”

“They might need your help then!” Joe states.

“Oh, I’ll have my maracas out to help bring in the crowds, don’t you worry!” she tells him, in her usual outrageous manner.

Joe is lost for words, having met his match in this raven-haired Welsh livewire.

“After the break,” Trixie announces, “we’ll see how the buskers got on, and we’ll catch the other performances on our Britain’s Most Daring Musical Extravaganza. Join us, then!”

“She’s mad!” Lissie decides.

I assume she’s referring to Lowri, but I check anyway. “You mean Lowri?” I ask her.

“Yeah!” she confirms.

“I really like her!” states Maddie. “She’s different, and she makes it all more fun!”

“She’s certainly a character!” remarks Phil. He turns his head towards me, “She reminds me of you, Emma, when you were younger!”

“I was never as bad as that!” I protest.

“I don’t know,” he smiles, “you had your moments!”
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Old 04-26-2018, 11:58 AM   #33
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Default Episode 4 (Part 5)

I don’t know about anyone else, but I am incredibly nervous. With the previous shows on Britain’s Most Daring, I’ve been excited, particularly when it’s come to Gemma’s dares, but this week is different. I don’t know what the reason is: whether it’s the changed format; the fact that it’s a group dare, meaning Gemma’s fate isn’t just in her own hands; or whether, as I suspect, it’s because of the enormity of the dare facing her and her fellow choir members. Whatever the reason, I am definitely nervous on her behalf. I don’t know if I’m the only one feeling like that.

My curiosity gets the better of me, and I ask, “Is anyone else really nervous at the moment?”

“I am!” admits Lissie. “But I’m really excited at the same time! Does that make any sense?”

“It does!” I assure her. “How about you, Maddie?”

“Yeah,” she agrees, “I’m quite nervous. I really want to see Gemma do her dare, but I also want it to be over already!”

“Good,” I say, “I’m glad it’s not just me!”


“Hello, and welcome back to Britain’s Most Daring’s Musical Extravaganza!” Trixie says.

“… and I’m Joe Denecker,” Joe adds, 15 minutes too late. It earns him a playful smack on the arm from his co-presenter.

We see that Trixie and Joe are now alone once more, the other three women having departed.

“Well, we’ve seen the groups rehearsing,” Trixie reminds us, “and now it’s time to see if all their effort has paid off!”

“Indeed it is!” Joe remarks. “Last night there was the little matter of a football match at Wembley Stadium.”

“That’s right,” continues Trixie, “an F. A. Cup Semi-Final tie between Chelsea and Aston Villa, with 90,000 fans packed into the stadium.”

“Helping to warm-up the crowd before the game were James, Keenan, Shanumi, and Tariq,” Joe says. “We stuck Trixie in the posh seats to let her see what wor daredevils got up to!”

We join Trixie inside Wembley Stadium, which we can see is filling up nicely. She is wrapped up well against the cool of the evening. Behind her there is plenty of action on the pitch, with players from both teams warming-up.

“Hello and welcome to Wembley!” she greets us. “We’re about half-an-hour from kick-off, but more importantly, we’re less than ten minutes away from our daredevils’ big moment. Let’s go down to Aleksandra and see how they’re feeling!”

Aleksandra is with the four daredevils, down in the tunnel area. She is also well wrapped up, in a fake fur coat and thick leggings. The three guys are wearing football shirts; two in the claret and blue of Aston Villa, whilst James is wearing Chelsea blue. Shanumi has a blue jumper along with her jeans, and has a Chelsea scarf wrapped around her neck.

“Thanks, Trixie,” says Aleksandra, taking her cue. “So, everyone, how are you feeling right now?”

“I’m incredibly nervous!” admits James. “I’m confident I know what we’re doing, but just look how many people there are out there!”

“What about you, Shanumi?” Aleksandra asks the person she has identified as key to the dare’s success.

“It’s mad!” Shanumi declares. “There’s so much noise! It’s gonna be a real challenge to get everyone joining in with us!”

“Can you do it?” Aleksandra enquires.

“Yeah, ’course we can!” Shanumi replies, confidently. It appears she’s up for it, which is good for the group’s chances of doing well.

“There you are, Trixie,” Aleksandra sums up, “we’re all waiting for the call to go out and start getting the crowd going!”

“Ladies and gentlemen,” we hear the Wembley compere announce over the sound system, “it’s time to crank the noise level up a notch! And here to help get the place rocking, please give a big Wembley welcome to the Britain’s Most Daring Capital Crew Plus One!”

The three Londoners, plus James, enter the stadium arena. As they split into their pairs and make their way towards the relevant sets of fans, we hear James’ voice over the sound system.

“Hello, Wembley!” he cries. He gets a half-hearted cheer in reply. “Oh, come on,” he says, “you can do much better than that! Hello, Wembley!” This time the volume from the fans has gone up considerably.

“What we’re gonna do,” James explains, “is find out who’s got the loudest fans! We want you to give your best chants, and see if you can out-sing the opposition!”

An impromptu chant of “Chelsea” begins at one end of the stadium, reminding James of the biggest challenge facing them this evening: the unpredictability of football fans.

“So,” Tariq takes over, “Villa fans, we’re going to show everyone that we’re the loudest, innit?” He raises his arms to encourage the Villa fans to cheer. They respond with gusto.

“Not a chance!” exclaims James. “You’re up against the mighty Blue Army!” He elicits an even bigger cheer from the Chelsea faithful.

“Okay, let’s start the competition!” announces Tariq. “The Villa are going first!”

Keenan’s voice is heard, starting the first chant: “Come on you Villa!” He points to the crowd to join in. Judging by the noise, a substantial section of the Villa fans are singing.

“Not bad!” comments James. “But we can do better than that!”

“Come on you Blues!” Shanumi sings and encourages the Chelsea fans. They respond in good voice, but maybe not as loud as the Villa chant.

The second chant begins okay, with the Villa fans quickly joining Keenan as he sings “Aston Villa, Aston Villa FC, we’re by far the greatest team the world has ever seen!” But, things start to go wrong after this. As Shanumi is trying to get the response going from “Super Chelsea”, the Villa fans begin chanting, “Are you City in disguise?” loudly enough to drown out the Chelsea fans.

By the time Keenan is ready to launch the final chant, a simple “Villa” followed by three claps, the Villa fans are busy going through their own repertoire of increasingly-rude chants directed at their fiercest rivals, Birmingham City. They are no longer remotely interested in Keenan.

The Chelsea fans have also given up on the competition, ignoring Shanumi’s last effort completely. The daredevils end by thanking the fans, and walking off, somewhat disconsolately.

“It started okay,” James tells Aleksandra, once they’ve got back into the tunnel, “but we couldn’t keep the Villa fans under control.”

“What a load of crap!” is Shanumi’s damning verdict.

Back in the studio, the four daredevils, together with Aleksandra, have all joined Trixie and Joe.

“Well, we heard what you thought of it last night,” Joe says, “but, after sleeping on it, how do you think it went?”

“It could have been worse!” Keenan says.

“How?” asks Shanumi.

Before she gets an answer, Trixie steps in. “Well, we’ve waited a long time to see them tonight, but they are here, so let’s go over to our Dare Attempt Performance Analysts to see what they make of all that!”

The DAPAs are, as we have come to expect, immaculately turned out once more. They each press their keypad to reveal their assessment of the football-chanting dare. Dan awards 5 points, while Danielle is, unusually, more generous, giving a 6. That makes 11 points in total. Normally that would be a safe score, but tonight, of course, there are only three groups, so who knows.

“With it being a group dare this week,” Trixie explains, “it’s the group with the lowest score who will have to take part in tonight’s Live Dare-Off.” She tells the current group, “And it could well be you!”

They nod, then move to take their seats to warm applause from the studio audience.

“Next up,” Trixie continues, “let’s see how Bradley, Dylan, Jaz, and Mia got on with their dare to go busking!”

Joe takes over, “After all the excitement of the football, we gave Trixie a Saturday morning on the streets of Bristol to recover. That’s where she found wor buskers!”

Trixie is standing on a bridge overlooking the trendy Harbourside area of Bristol, next to the River Avon. She is wearing a bright yellow jumper and her skinny jeans.

“This is Bristol Harbourside,” she informs us, “and this is where our buskers are going to spend the next four hours entertaining the shoppers and tourists down in this popular waterfront area of the city. While I try to find them, let’s join Lowri who is drawing in the crowds as only she can!”

Lowri, wearing a clinging lime-green jumper and tight navy-blue leggings, has already got a substantial crowd of people behind her as she does her introduction to camera.

“Yes, hello,” she says, “and welcome to Bristol, a really lovely city that just happens to be the wrong side of the Severn!”

The crowd behind her boo at her unfavourable comment, but she turns the jeers to cheers as she turns to them and says, “We’re here to have some fun, aren’t we guys?!” She shakes her maracas by way of encouragement.

The camera pans along to the right and alights upon our buskers. Mia counts them in, and Dylan begins tapping away on some bongos, accompanied by Bradley’s guitar, whilst Mia plays ‘The Girl From Ipanema’ on her clarinet. Jaz has hold of a bucket, into which people are throwing money. When the song comes to an end, it garners an appreciative round of applause from those gathered around. Mia switches to her penny whistle, and they start up with an Irish-sounding jig that has one or two of the more enthusiastic youngsters in the crowd up and dancing.

We switch back to Trixie, who is now making her way through the crowds towards the buskers. She catches sight of Dylan, bucket in hand, swaying gently to the rhythm of the song we can hear Jaz singing, the Louis Armstrong classic ‘What A Wonderful World’. As we join the group, we can see that Mia is accompanying Jaz on the keyboard. In the background Lowri is attempting to engage various members of the crowd in a slow dance!

Trixie catches hold of Bradley’s arm. He is currently unoccupied, so she takes the chance to ask, “How’s it going?”

“Yeah, it’s going well!” he tells her. “I’m amazed how many people have turned up!”

“It’s certainly impressive!” Trixie comments. “Are you nervous at all?”

“Not too bad at the moment!” he replies.

We jump forward in time, something we know we’ve done because the music in the background has changed. We are now being treated to a virtuoso performance of Beethoven’s ‘Für Elise’ by Mia on her keyboard, which she has switched to piano-mode. Dylan still has the bucket, with Lowri in tow, so Trixie seizes the opportunity to have a quick word with Jaz.

“Jaz,” she begins, “how does it feel, singing in front of all these people?”

“It was nerve-wracking to begin with,” Jaz tells her, “but as I’ve got into it, I’ve got more relaxed. I’m starting to enjoy it more now!”

“You’ve certainly pulled in the crowds!” Trixie remarks.

“That was Lowri, mainly,” Jaz admits. “She went on the local radio breakfast show and told everyone to get down here! By the time we started setting up, people were already arriving!”

Another time-jump allows us to hear Jaz singing once more, this time the powerful ballad made famous by Whitney Houston ‘One Moment In Time’. Jaz’s rendition stands up well, giving her the chance to show off her vocal range, which the crowd applaud appreciatively.

We get one more glimpse of the fun that the bystanders on the Harbourside are enjoying, as we see Lowri, Dylan, and Bradley immersed amongst a section of the crowd, all performing the Hokey Cokey, as Jaz belts out the instructions backed, as ever, by Mia’s keyboard playing. Everyone is clearly having a blast!

The film finishes with a shot that, we presume, was taken immediately after the session had ended. Lowri is in the centre of a line, flanked by two daredevils on each side. On cue they leap in the air, before Lowri shouts, “Bristol, you rocked!” and launches her maracas into the crowd.

The whole crew have joined Trixie and Joe in the studio, and everyone is smiling broadly, remembering the good time they had earlier in the day.

“That looked like a lot of fun!” Joe declares.

“It was amazing,” Jaz tells him, “absolutely amazing!”

“Have you ever busked in front of so many people?” he asks Mia.

“No, that was way more than I’m used to! It gave me such a buzz!”

“I’ve got to say,” Dylan interrupts, “that this person here,” he points to Lowri, “was brilliant! She gave the whole thing a real boost!”

Mia shoots him a disapproving look. She’s realised that might not be a wise thing to say, however true it might be, at least not until after the DAPAs have given their score. It is, after all, supposed to be the daredevils performing the dare, not some madcap presenter!

“Well,” comments Trixie, “I had a great time! But let’s see what the DAPAs make of it.”

Danielle quickly makes an 8 appear on the screen above her head, whilst Dan thinks for a bit longer before awarding a maximum 10. A score of 18 indicates the DAPAs are impressed by the buskers, and is going to be very hard to beat!

“Well done!” Trixie tells them. “That’s a fantastic score! And our first ever maximum 10!”

Lowri steps forward. “One more thing,” she says, “we’ve counted the money in the bucket, and we’ll be giving Caring In Bristol £2,600!”

This announcement is received with a thunderous round of applause from the audience, which Trixie and Joe join in with. It’s a fabulous end to a very well-performed dare!

“We’ve seen two of wor musical dares,” Joe points out, “but we’ve still got one more to come.”

“Coming next, we’ve got something really very special indeed!” Trixie says, enticingly. “You really don’t want to miss it, so make sure you join us when we come back on Britain’s Most Daring!”

Maddie looks across at me. “What does that mean, ‘something really very special indeed’?” she asks.

“You know as much as I do!” I tell her.

“I think it means it’s really good!” says Lissie.

“I’m inclined to agree, Lissie,” her father adds.

I look down and see the bottom of the sleeping bag moving back and forth rapidly!
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Old 04-27-2018, 12:04 PM   #34
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Default Episode 4 (Part 6)

The ad-break seems to drag on interminably! Trixie’s teasing words, going into the break, combined with the fact that we know that it’s Gemma’s group dare we are about to watch, has us intrigued. Normally, I’m totally disinterested in the adverts, just letting them wash over me, but right now I’m actively willing each one to vacate the screen! I don’t imagine Toyota, the Halifax, Pedigree Chum and all the others have been on the receiving end of such hatred very often before!

I’m not the only one, as a very ironic “Hallelujah!” from my darling husband greets the arrival of the theme music at the end of the break!

If the technology existed to turn nervous energy into electricity, we could power the entire National Grid from our living room!


As always, Trixie greets our return: “Welcome back to our special Britain’s Most Daring Musical Extravaganza!”

“Before the break, we saw wor Wembley wonders at work, and then went busking in Bristol,” says Joe, alliteratively. “So, we’ve just one more group to see.”

“Ayla, Eilidh, Gemma, Matt, and Tommy were dared to form a choir,” Trixie reminds us. “As if that wasn’t enough, we pulled out all the stops and got them a slot in a very special concert.”

“Heads Together is a campaign to raise awareness of mental health issues in society, particularly in young people,” Joe tells us, “and also aims to secure funding and raise money for charities working in this area.”

“Last night, the Heads Together Concert took place in Glasgow, attended by Prince William and Prince Harry, who, together with the Duchess of Cambridge, are patrons of the campaign,” Trixie goes on. “Plus, of course, the royal bride-to-be, Meghan, was there as well!

“I was lucky enough to have a ticket to this one-off event!” Joe states.

“Thanks to the incredible generosity of the Heads Together team,” continues Trixie, “our choir was given a 10-minute slot in the concert!”

“When we set this dare up,” Joe reveals, “we didn’t really have any idea of what to expect. But none of us could have possibly imagined what actually occurred last night!”

“It was so special,” Trixie adds, “that we’ve shunted the entire Channel 4 Saturday night schedule back to make room to show you the whole 10 minutes, in full!”

“If you were at the concert last night, you’ll know what we mean already,” Joe says, knowingly. “But if you weren’t, then sit back and enjoy 10 minutes of TV magic!” He takes a step forward as the camera zooms in for a close-up shot of his face. “This,” he adds, “is going to blow your mind!”

I grip Phil’s hand, the tension almost unbearable.

We join Joe at the back of an upper part of the Glasgow Concert Hall. On the distant stage below, is a man standing, talking to the audience. Eagle-eyed viewers, who know their comedians, will recognise him as the Glasgow stand-up, Kevin Bridges.

Joe talks in a hushed tone, so as not to disturb the audience nearby. “Here at the Heads Together Concert, it’s almost time for wor daredevils to perform. I’m incredibly nervous, so I can’t begin to imagine how they must be feeling right now! Let’s go down to Lorna, who’s backstage with them, and see how they’re coping!”

Lorna and the five choir members are waiting in the wings. All five are looking very presentable. Eilidh has a floral-patterned knee-length dress, whilst Gemma, her long hair back to its natural blonde, is sporting a smart blouse in Oxford and Cambridge blues above a dark skirt that hugs her hips and ends halfway towards her knees. Matt and Tommy are both wearing dark jackets; Tommy with smart jeans, Matt with more formal trousers. Ayla, we see, is wearing her makeover outfit from last week’s show, without the boa. It seems she is feeling confident enough to appear with plenty of cleavage on show thanks to the plunging neckline of her dress.

Quietly, Lorna asks Eilidh, “How are you feeling?”

“Petrified!” admits Eilidh. “I’ve got such bad butterflies!”

Looking for any sign of how Gemma is coping, we see she has got her hands clenched together and she is bobbing her head back and forward slightly. It’s a sure sign that she, too, is incredibly nervous.

“Matt,” Lorna turns to the punk-rocker look-a-like, “nervous?”

“I just want to get out there!” he tells her. “All this waiting around is doing for me!”

“Come on, Bridges,” urges Ayla, “shut up and introduce us!”

Our screen fills with a close-up of Kevin Bridges as he responds, unknowingly, to Ayla’s instruction.

“Now, ladies and gentlemen,” he begins, “we’ve got something a little different for you! I’m sure lots of you have been gripped by the TV show that’s set the nation talking. We’re incredibly lucky tae be part of that show tonight, as we get tae witness some of the Britain’s Most Daring daredevils take on their latest dare, live on stage. These guys have never done anything like this before in their lives! So, please give a massive Glasgow welcome tae the BMD Northern Singers …!”

He exits stage left, as Matt, Ayla, Eilidh, Gemma, and Tommy walk on from the opposite side. The curtain remains in place, giving us an indication that the choir are going to sing acapella. To perform at a concert like this with musical backing would have taken guts, but singing unaccompanied shows enormous bravery on their part. The audience respond, by taking their welcoming applause up a level. The five daredevils take up their positions, smiling nervously, and wait for quiet in the auditorium.

Four pairs of onstage eyes are focussed on Eilidh, watching for her signal to begin the first song. She gives a subtle nod, and they all turn their gaze forwards, into the darkness beyond the bright stage lights.

We hear Matt whistle two identical notes, followed by a rapid few notes that then return him to his starting point. The pattern is naggingly familiar, and he quickly repeats it. As he begins his third run through the same pattern, Eilidh’s voice joins him.

“When you’re weary, … feeling small, …” she sings in a quiet soprano voice, and the song is revealed to be ‘Bridge Over Troubled Water’. “When tears are in … your eyes, … I’ll dry them all.”

The other three join Eilidh, singing in two-part harmony, with Tommy’s bass voice underpinning the girls to great effect.

“I’m on your side, … oh, when times get rough, …” they sing, building the volume as they continue, “and friends just can’t be found …”. Gemma, Ayla, and Tommy switch to an “aah-ed” backing as Eilidh completes the verse: “Like a bridge over troubled water, I will lay me down.”

After Matt has completed another two rounds of his whistling pattern, Ayla takes the lead for the next verse. Her voice is stronger than Eilidh’s, and full of passion. Once more the others join in for the latter part of the verse.

The final verse is sung in full harmony by all four singers, with Matt still whistling his accompaniment. When they come to the end, they hold the last note for a bit as the applause starts. The audience have loved their rendition, and clap and cheer vociferously. As we watch, the nervousness and tension that was evident in the five daredevils seems to evaporate, and they are able to relax and start to really enjoy the occasion.

“Thank you,” says Eilidh, smiling broadly, “thank-you so much! We are so incredibly honoured tae be able tae come and sing for you tonight! As you know, we’re on a dare show, and that’s how we’ve come tae be here. But this is so much more than a dare tae us! Heads Together is such an important campaign, and the work you’re doing is so vital!” She is forced to pause as a spontaneous round of applause breaks out. She smiles and waits to continue. “For us, the most important thing you can do, if you know someone who has mental health issues,” she tells everyone, “is tae be there for them. Be a shoulder tae cry on, or an ear tae listen, or just a person tae be company! And that’s kind of what our next song is all about!” She glances up and down the line, to check the others are all ready, then gives another nod.

“Bom, bom, bm-bm-bom, bom,” begins Tommy, with Matt clicking his fingers by way of percussive accompaniment. The audience react instantly to the distinctive introduction to ‘Stand By Me’. By the time the applause has died down, Tommy and Matt have almost reached the end of the opening bars. We see Eilidh take a breath as she prepares to bring her voice into the mix.

“When the night … has come, … and the land is dark, … and the moon … is the only … light we’ll see,” she sings. Her voice lacks the tremendous passion that Ben E King gave the original version, but her delivery is forceful enough to give the lyrics the impetus they need. She sings the first verse and chorus solo; as she starts the second verse, the other girls provide a bed of “oohs” for her to lay her vocals on top of.

When we reach the musical interlude, the audience go crazy as Matt delivers an amazing whistled solo during which he improvises around the tune we know so well, all the time remembering to keep clicking his fingers as well! Eilidh’s voice crashes over the end of his solo, as, together with the “oohs”, “bom-boms”, and clicks, she builds the song to its crescendo, before bringing it to a halt on a long-held note that all the others share as Matt gives four final clicks and they fall silent.

The noise from the auditorium in response is almost beyond description. Whistles, shrieks and screams all mix with loud cheering and wild applause. On stage, the five look a little overwhelmed by the reception they’re getting, but they all have smiles as wide as their faces will allow.

When the applause finally subsides, Ayla speaks. “Oh my gosh, thank-you, thank-you!” she tells them. Taking everyone by surprise, she then yells, “Hello, Glasgow!” They respond with more cheering and screaming. “I’ve always wanted to do that!” she laughs. Then she changes her tone, becoming more serious. “We’ve got one more song we want to do for you,” she informs them, “and this one is very special to one of us up here. So, I’m going to let Gemma introduce it.”

This is it!

A quick glance from both Maddie and Lissie tells me that they, too, are on tenterhooks!


“Thanks, Ayla,” Gemma begins, her gentle Geordie voice providing some variety to the Scottish accents we’ve been hearing. “When I was 10, my Mam had a nervous breakdown, and she wasn’t able to look after me and my sister. A family we knew very kindly took us in and looked after us, while Mam got the treatment she needed. It was an amazing act of kindness, and I’ve never forgotten what they did for the two of us. They had two girls of their own, and the youngest was a little darlin’, about 3 or 4 at the time. Every night, when she went to bed, I used to wait till the light went out and her Mam went back downstairs. Then, I used to sneak into her room and sing to her until she went to sleep. This next song is my favourite one that I used to sing to her, and I think she used to like it too. So, Lissie, I know you’ll be watching! This one’s for you, sweetheart!”

The hairs on the back of my neck begin standing up as Gemma starts her speech, and by the time she finishes I am feeling tingly all over. Phil puts his arm around me, sensing my emotional overload, and pulls me into him.

Lissie is now beyond excitement, and her foot has given up trying to match her adrenaline levels.

Maddie, I notice, is just sitting in her chair, mouth agape at what she’s just heard.

I watch the next two minutes through a blurred veil of tears, unable to keep my emotions in check.


While Gemma has been speaking, Eilidh has shuffled along the line so that Gemma is now in the middle. A quick nod from Eilidh is the cue for the two Scots lasses to begin. They hum a brief introduction, giving Gemma a chance to get her breathing right and also to pitch the song correctly.

The moment they hear her tender, fragile voice deliver the opening line, the audience are captivated.

“Somewhere over the rainbow, … way up high, …” she croons, “there’s a land that I heard of, once, in a lullaby.” Tommy’s deep voice adds to the hummed backing as Gemma continues, “Somewhere over the rainbow, … skies are blue, … and the dreams that you dare to dream really do come true.”

The “mmmms” become “aaaahs” and increase in volume a little as Gemma goes on, “Someday I’ll wish upon a star and wake up where the clouds are far behind me, … where troubles melt like lemon drops, away above the chimney tops that’s where you’ll find me.” As Gemma finds herself above the chimney tops, she shuts her eyes, keeping them shut for the rest of the song.

Once more the backing changes, this time to “ooohs”, for the next part. As the bluebirds are mentioned, so Matt gives a couple of whistled trills for added effect.

“Somewhere over the rainbow, … bluebirds fly, … birds fly over the rainbow; why, then, oh why can’t I?” Gemma asks plaintively.

The backing stops, leaving Gemma’s wavering voice to finish the song alone. “If happy little bluebirds fly beyond the rainbow, … why, … oh why … can’t I?” She allows the last note to fade to nothingness and wipes away a tear that has formed in the corner of her eye, before she opens them and smiles.

If the response to ‘Stand By Me’ had been almost beyond description, the reception that Gemma’s song gets takes it to a level far beyond any rainbow! The ovation is noisy, long, and thoroughly deserved!

As Kevin Bridges returns to the stage and encourages the audience to give one more round of applause to the BMD Northern Singers, we come back to Joe in the audience.

“Wow, what can I say!” he exclaims. “I’m blown away! I don’t have words!”

Returning to the studio, we find Lorna with Trixie and Joe. There is no sign of the five daredevils. The reason for this soon becomes clear.

“Ladies and gentlemen,” Trixie cries, with heartfelt enthusiasm, “please give it up for Ayla, Matt, Tommy, Gemma, and Eilidh!”

A tumultuous reception greets them as the five walk on. They still seem overwhelmed by the response: Matt shakes his head, and Eilidh takes hold of Gemma’s hand.

“Joe didn’t have words last night,” Trixie declares, “and I’m struggling now! That was unbelievable! Just, you guys, amazing!”

Lorna helps her out. “They put so much work into that, and boy did it pay off! They absolutely, totally, deserve every bit of the reception they got last night! I was watching, backstage, and I was in tears! It was just magical!”

“Eilidh,” Trixie asks, “did you ever imagine it would turn out like that?”

“God, no!” Eilidh says. “We just wanted tae do justice tae the occasion, you know? It’s such an important cause, we were determined not tae make a mockery of the whole thing.”

“And Matt,” Joe says, “that whistling was something else!”

“I just really got into it!” Matt reveals. “When it got to my solo, I just went mad! After I’d done it, I had a quick look at Eilidh in case she was going mental at me! But she seemed okay with it!”

“Okay?!” Eilidh responds, “I was loving it!”

“And as for you, Gemma,” Trixie begins, “the emotion you put into that was so inspiring!”

“I nearly didn’t get through it,” Gemma shares with us all, “the memories and everything were starting to get to me!”

“We noticed you sang a lot of the song with your eyes shut,” Trixie comments, “was that a way of coping with the emotion?”

“No, that was probably the worst thing I could have done! I don’t know what made me do it! But it was like I was transported back to the bedroom all those years ago, and I was singing to little Lissie all over again! That’s when I started to struggle!”

“Ladies and gentlemen, once again, please!” urges Trixie, and the audience respond willingly.

“Well, I know what I’m awarding them,” remarks Joe, “but let’s find out if the DAPAs are in tune with the rest of the country!”

Almost immediately that we go over to the DAPAs we find out that they are. Both Dan and Danielle award the highest possible marks, giving the choir a perfect 20 points. Anything less would have been a travesty!

“Fantastic!” says Joe. He holds his hand up for quiet, and adds, “And one more thing, before we let them go. We’ve been in touch with Heads Together today, and I can exclusively announce that the performance will be available as a download straight after tonight’s show finishes. You can get it from the Heads Together website, or from channel4.com, and all proceeds will go to the Heads Together charities fund. A CD will be released on Monday and will be available in all the normal outlets.”

“Okay,” Trixie says, “we’ve still got the little matter of tonight’s Live Dare-Off to come! James, Keenan, Shanumi, and Tariq will be competing against each other to try to remain on Britain’s Most Daring. That’s coming up right after this break!”

Almost as soon as the theme music ends, Lissie’s phone begins pinging frantically. Maddie’s phone is also warbling away. The ad-break will be spent checking the incoming messages.

I need to compose myself, so choose to get up and visit the loo.
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Old 04-28-2018, 12:37 AM   #35
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Default Episode 4 (Part 7)

By the time I return, the ad-break is coming to an end. The girls are still swiping and tapping their phone screens frenetically.

“Welcome back!” says Trixie. “We have just seen the most amazing dare performance ever, and all three of our groups have done wonderfully well! But, unfortunately, someone has to leave the show tonight!”

“Yep, thems the rules!” remarks Joe.

“The group with the lowest score will take part in tonight’s Live Dare-Off,” Trixie states.

“With 11 points, wor football chanters have that dubious distinction,” Joe reminds us, “so Shanumi, Keenan, Tariq, and James, come and join us!” The four daredevils take their places alongside the two presenters.

“So, it’s the first time in the Dare-Off for most of you,” Trixie points out, “how are you feeling?”

“A bit nervous, innit” replies Tariq.

“It depends on what the dare is,” James tells her, “if it’s anything musical, I’m in big trouble!”

“Shanumi, you’ve been here before,” Joe reminds her, “does that help?”

“Yeah, a bit,” she says, “I got through that one, so I can get through this one as well.”

“Well, let’s find out what our Live Dare-Off involves tonight,” says Trixie, “and go over to our very own Dare Deliverer!”

The familiar voice seeps into every part of us, as this week’s dare is revealed. “Well, my little songbirds,” she begins, “it’s karaoke time on our Musical Extravaganza! I dare you to get up and sing! You’ll each be given 90 seconds to give it your all! But remember, the performance judged to be the poorest will mean a quick taxi home tonight! Good luck, my little daredevils!”

Shanumi pumps her fist and mutters, “Yesss!” under her breath. Knowing James’ and Tariq’s lack of singing ability makes her very confident of staying on the show.

“James,” Joe says, “that’s not what you wanted to hear!”

“No, definitely not!” agrees James. “I think it’s me or Tariq now!” Tariq nods his head in agreement.

Whilst Joe has been interviewing James, Trixie allows each of the daredevils to select from a set of envelopes she offers them. Once they all have one, she tells them, “Okay, can you all open your envelopes and reveal what’s inside.” They do so, and we see the numbers 1 to 4 randomly distributed amongst the group. That, we assume, is the order in which they will perform their karaoke dare. Trixie confirms this when she announces, “So, we know what order they’re going in, let’s get the karaoke party started!”

She moves across to the other side of the studio, taking Tariq with her, since he has the number 1. As they go, we see Joe give the other three Dare-Off participants headphones and a blindfold each, to keep them from knowing what they’re up against.

Trixie stands Tariq on his spot and shows him where the lyrics will appear. “Tariq, you’ll have 90 seconds to make an impression once the music starts,” she informs him. “Good luck!” She moves out of camera shot, as we hear the distinctive crescendo that forms the start of ‘Hi Ho Silver Lining’ by Jeff Beck. We all know the song, but it seems for a moment as if Tariq doesn’t. Fortunately, just before he is required to start singing, recognition occurs.

“You’re everywhere and nowhere baby,” Tariq begins, hopelessly out of tune. Undeterred, he presses on, “That’s where you’re at.” As he proceeds to push his way through the verse, leaving musical carnage in his wake, we see Trixie encourage the audience to help him out when we get to the chorus.

“And it’s hi ho silver lining,” we hear a host of voices sing lustily, and it clearly gives Tariq a boost. He works his way through the second verse with more gusto, though it’s not just flies that are in baby’s pea soup – most of the correct notes are submerged in there too! A second rousing chorus brings Tariq’s 90 seconds of torment to an end.

“Great effort, Tariq!” Trixie says, encouragingly.

“I’m just glad that’s over, innit!” he tells her.

Tariq takes his place just out of camera shot, as Joe sends the next victim over. Keenan approaches, his competitiveness forcing him to give this everything he’s got. Once he’s in position, we hear our next choon: Chumbawamba’s ‘Tubthumping’.

“We’ll be singing, … when we’re winning, … we’ll be singing,” Keenan sings, in key, thank goodness. He then leaps up as we get to the rousing bit. “I get knocked down, but I get up again,” he informs us as he bounces up and down to make the point. The audience are instantly clapping along, encouraging his energetic performance.

We quickly cut to a shot of Joe, one arm punching the air and head bobbing up and down, singing along with gusto!

Back where it matters, Keenan catches his breath as he gets to the slower bit, before he starts on the various drinks that are being knocked back. Then, with the audience joining in, we get a second round of being knocked down and getting up again, before the music fades away.

“You really got into that!” remarks Trixie. “Is that a particular favourite of yours? Maybe one of your party pieces, or a song that means something special to you?” Considerately, she has lengthened her question a little to give Keenan a chance to catch his breath.

“Oh, who doesn’t like that song?!” he pants.

He is shown over to stand next to Tariq, who gives him a fist bump. Joe, meanwhile, sends James across for his moment of torture.

As Trixie stands him on his spot, he looks into the camera and says, “I apologise in advance for what I’m about to inflict on you!”

Forewarned, we wait to hear which particular song he’s about to put through his own personal vocal mangle. When we find out, we know that Freddie Mercury will be turning in his grave.

“Tonight I’m gonna have myself a real good time!” announces James, in his distinctive Ulster accent. He’s decided to half-sing half-talk the lyrics, which judging by the sung bits may well be a wise decision! “So, don’t … stop … me … now, … don’t … stop … me,” he speaks, wagging a finger at us, before the song gains tempo and energy. “’Cause I’m having a good time, having a good time.” At this point James goes beserk! He may not be able to sing, but he sure as hell is going to put on a performance! He leaps around manically, arms and legs going in all directions, as he attempts to keep up with the lyrics at the same time. ‘Don’t Stop Me Now’? It’s not clear anyone could!

We cut to Joe, who has been joined by Lowri. The two of them are putting almost as much into it as James!

By the time his 90 seconds are up, James is a physical wreck! He has literally given it his all, and the audience respond accordingly. If this doesn’t keep him on the show, nothing will!

Trixie doesn’t even attempt an interview, she simply takes hold of James’ hand and raises it above their heads. After a moment, she shepherds him across to the other two, where he can recover.

Shanumi strolls across, accompanied by Joe, who no longer has anyone left to keep an eye on. Trixie puts her in position, and the music plays. It’s that distinctive sweep that heralds the start of the Cyndi Lauper classic, ‘Girls Just Wanna Have Fun’. The overly-long introduction to the song has been edited out, so that Shanumi can get going straightaway.

“I come home in the morning light, my mother says ‘when you gonna live your life right?’” Shanumi trills, in a powerful voice that we know is going to do the song justice.

She claps to the beat, encouraging the audience to join in, which they do. As she gets to the first appearance of the title in the lyrics, we see that the space behind her is being invaded by Lowri and Aleksandra. They, too, are clapping to the beat, and swaying from side to side. Shanumi appears vaguely aware that something is going on behind her but carries on regardless.

As she tells her “daddy dear” that he’s “still number one”, Joe grooves his way into the shot, dragging Trixie with him. They soon get into it, throwing shapes alongside Lowri and Aleksandra! Trixie looks a little uncomfortable, but her professionalism demands that she sees it through.

We switch briefly to a shot that shows the rest of the daredevils, together with Lorna, swaying and clapping along as well.

Once we hit the chorus, the madcap trio behind Shanumi join in the singing, encouraging the audience to do likewise. Even Trixie is getting more into it. When the end of the 90 seconds brings the partying to a halt, there is general merriment as all four presenters come over to join Shanumi. Lowri throws an arm around her, and Aleksandra takes hold of her hand and encourages her to acknowledge the applause she’s getting.

“Well, I don’t know about you,” Joe says to her, “but I enjoyed that! It’s not just girls that wanna have fun, you know!”

Shanumi is beaming, “Yeah, it was fun! It’s not my style of music, but I just gave it my best!”

Aleksandra takes Shanumi over to join the rest of her group, as Trixie gets down to the important business of the scores.

“Alright,” she says, “we’ve seen all four of our karaoke singers give us what they’ve got, and if it was at all possible, I’d keep all four of them!”

“But it’s not,” declares Joe, “so it’s down to the DAPAs to pass judgement! First up, can we have the score for Tariq, please!”

We get a split-screen shot, so that we can see Tariq’s reaction at the same time as we watch the DAPAs deliver their verdict. Dan gives him a 6 and Danielle a 5, making 11 points in total. Given what he did to Jeff Beck’s classic, that’s a very generous score! Tariq smiles, but we get the impression that he’s convinced his time on the show is coming to an abrupt end tonight.

“That sets the standard,” Trixie comments, “so can we have the results for Keenan, please!”

As we see the next split-screen, the DAPAs award Keenan 14 points in total, with Dan giving 8 of those. We see Keenan breathe a sigh of relief as he realises he is safe for another week, before he smiles to the camera.

“Keenan, you’re safe,” Joe confirms, “we’ll be seeing you next week!” He is about to ask for James’ score, when he is interrupted by Lowri.

“Can I just say something?” she kind-of-asks. She turns to address the DAPAs. “Now, look, Danielle, I think you need to loosen up a bit! I’ve been watching you each week, and you seem to be a bit of a misery guts! So, maybe a bit less attitude, and let’s have some fun!”

The audience cheer Lowri’s intervention enthusiastically. They, too, have come to see DAPA Danielle as the pantomime villain, so anyone taking her on is going to get their support. Danielle, however, just stands impassively, with her arms folded across her chest.

“So, bearing that in mind,” Lowri continues, “can we have the scores for James, please!”

Whether Lowri has made a difference is doubtful, and, from our split-screen view, we can see James is looking extremely anxious. Will his manic performance disguise his hopeless vocal ability? Dan’s score of 7 gives him hope, and when Danielle awards 5 he knows he has scraped in by the narrowest of margins. He wipes his forehead to indicate his great relief. We cut to a shot of Tariq, who now knows his time is up.

“James is back with us next week,” Aleksandra informs us, as she takes her turn with the DAPAs, “so it is all down to Shanumi. What are the scores for her, please?”

The screen splits again, and we see Shanumi frown when she only gets a 7 from Dan. Musically, she was far superior to James and yet she’s been awarded the same score. She is happier when Danielle adds an 8 to that, to give her a total of 15.

“That means, Shanumi, Keenan, and James are all safe,” says Trixie, as Lowri shepherds the trio back to the other daredevils.

Trixie and Joe position themselves either side of Tariq, who knows what’s coming. Aleksandra nudges Joe to one side and stands next to Tariq, putting a comforting arm around his shoulder.

“Well, Tariq,” Trixie says, “unfortunately we’re going to have say goodbye to you!”

“You’ve been a great sport!” Joe tells him. He turns to the camera and says, “Before he goes, let’s take a look at some of the highlights!”

A short montage begins with Tariq eating pieces of eel, before we see him playing keepy-uppy with a group of young teenagers. The next clip shows a very dapper-looking Tariq, dressed in a waistcoat and trouser ensemble. His comment from earlier in this week’s show that “this is getting us nowhere”, is followed by a final shot of him in an Aston Villa shirt trying to get the crowd going at Wembley. The audience give him a deserved round of applause.

“Let’s give it up one last time for Tariq!” encourages Trixie, and Tariq turns to walk off. Before he can move, Aleksandra gives him a peck on the cheek and a light pat on his backside! He then walks off, exiting Britain’s Most Daring as he does so.

“That means we’re down to a dozen daredevils, now,” Joe points out.

“We’ve had an absolute blast this week!” Trixie tells us. “So, whatever you do, make sure you join us again next week for some more fantastic dare action on Britain’s Most Daring!”

Trixie, Joe, and Aleksandra wave to the camera, and we pull out and pan across the studio to find Lorna and Lowri with the 12 remaining daredevils, all waving too. As the credits start to roll, the screen once more fades, gradually, to black behind them.

“I’ve got 87 messages!” announces Lissie.

“Well, that should keep you busy for all of 5 minutes!” her Dad replies, cynically. She gives him a very false smile.

Maddie is also busy on her phone, so presumably she’s got plenty of messages as well!

Thankfully, I don’t do social media, and Phil, as he delights in telling everyone, is waiting for the arrival of anti-social media before he joins the online crowd. So, we just sit and snuggle on the sofa.
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Old 04-28-2018, 04:16 AM   #36
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Default Color me green…

You had warned us that this was coming, so I can hardly claim surprise, but you happened to launch this just as I was beginning a renovation in our front bedroom, so I was away from keyboard for three and a half weeks. Back now, but it'll take me a while to get caught up. I finished the first Weekly Update installment and decided that was a good place to break for now. Thank you for this:

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As before, if you want a sex-fest, then don't bother reading this. Curtis, if you're reading this, in this story there really is no sex at all!
I much appreciate the warning! Some notes from the first week:
a) I see you've resolved the font issue. I like your use of color, and you've got the bold type down to perfection.
b) I have had to look up a few words; 'wor' bothers me quite a bit, for no good reason, and I admit to some surprise at discovering that 'yokel' means the same thing there that it does here! I didn't bother with the food dishes, as you explained them quite well in the text. It's amazing how different foods bother different people. The vegetables would've given me the most difficulty, whilst uncooked bacon isn't bad at all. My father used to eat (really drink) raw eggs, so I don't think I'd've failed at that… or the raw dough, but most of those dishes would've sent me packing. I'm not the least bit daring.
c) I find the most pleasant British accent to be what we call 'the BBC accent'. I read once that Britain has fifty recognizable accents. Of those, I only find half a dozen to be really intelligible. I have an uncle who's from (I think) Seaford (Lewes district, East Sussex), and I have no difficulty understanding him, but that might be from force of long habit. When I watch a movie with regional accents, such as "Gosford Park", I have to rewind and start again half an hour in, as it takes my ear that long to begin comprehending what's being said. I found that to be true even when watching the movie for the third time in a year.

You've done a wonderful job of evoking the feeling I get when listening to other people discussing these unscripted shows. I can't speak from experience as nobody in my family watches them, and we don't understand what the attraction is supposed to be, but you seem to really have this down… and I can see why it's going to take you months to reach the end of the show's season, though I doubt you'll let reaching the end stop you from continuing the story!

Well, enjoy yourself. I'll read a bit more tomorrow and in a few days, but can't promise I'll stick with it, as (as you anticipated) the subject matter doesn't appeal to me. Still, you've done a good job with it through post #13.
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Old 04-28-2018, 11:52 AM   #37
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Default Thanks, Curtis!

Hope the renovations [are going]/[went]* well! Unfortunate timing, since, once you've got behind with this story there's an awful lot of catching up to do!

*delete as appropriate

Quote:
and I can see why it's going to take you months to reach the end of the show's season, though I doubt you'll let reaching the end stop you from continuing the story!
Haha! Actually, this story ends at precisely the point that the final episode ends!!

Quote:
Well, enjoy yourself. I'll read a bit more tomorrow and in a few days, but can't promise I'll stick with it, as (as you anticipated) the subject matter doesn't appeal to me.
If you do keep going, you might be pleasantly surprised. That's one of the things I've most enjoyed about this story being broken into episodes like it is: each episode is similar-yet-different (very different in some cases!), which has made it a lot of fun to write!

So why not stick with it ... go on, I dare you!!
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Old 04-28-2018, 11:54 AM   #38
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For the first time since it began, Britain’s Most Daring was the centre of positive media attention, thanks to the BMD Northern Singers’ performance at the Heads Together concert. Phil’s Sunday paper had a very complimentary review of the concert in its Arts section, including a paragraph praising the choir’s contribution, and had a lovely picture of Gemma and company on stage. It also ran the story in the main part of the newspaper, under the headline ‘TV dare show choir wow royals at charity concert’, and accompanied the article with two pictures: another one of the choir performing, and, much more interestingly, a picture of them being introduced to the young royals backstage, in which Gemma appeared to be talking to Prince Harry! As soon as she was shown the picture, Maddie went to the online version of the newspaper, found the picture, downloaded it onto her phone, and sent it to Stacie. Lissie insisted that Maddie sent it to her as well; once she’d received it, she posted it to all the WhatsApp groups she belongs to!

The warble of Maddie’s phone brought us news that made us switch on the TV on a Sunday morning for the first time ever. Stacie’s text, as well as thanking Maddie profusely for sending the picture, which Stacie didn’t know anything about, told us that Gemma and the others were guests on Channel 4’s Sunday Brunch. Although Tim Lovejoy is not someone I would choose to watch on a regular basis, the fact that Gemma was on kept me and the girls glued to the screen for the whole three hours! The five daredevils tried their hand at cooking with Simon, the show’s chef, though I’m not sure I’d want to eat Peanut Butter & Jelly Pie and, judging by the look on her face when she tried it, nor will Gemma want to eat any ever again! In a series of short interviews, Tim chatted to Gemma, Eilidh, Ayla, Matt, and Tommy, mainly about being on Britain’s Most Daring and taking part in the Heads Together concert. Lissie got her second mention on national television, when Tim asked Gemma to “tell us about the inspiration behind your amazing rendition of ‘Somewhere Over The Rainbow’”. Our youngest daughter was, once again, beside herself with excitement. After each picking a song for the Sunday Brunch Playlist – Gemma chose ‘Symphony’ by Clean Bandit and Zara Larsson – the five were asked what they were up to this week. It was a passable attempt by Tim to get them to reveal what their latest dare involved, but none of them were falling for it. As 12:30 approached, the show ended with the BMD Northern Singers performing ‘Stand By Me’ live in the Sunday Brunch studio.

The next day, the tabloids all featured the choir prominently, as they each reported on the success of the dare and the popularity of the download of their performance. Needless to say, the girls downloaded it straight after last week’s show; I went out and bought three CDs on Monday, partly because I don’t do downloads, preferring to have something physical to keep permanently, but also because the cover of the CD featured a lovely picture from the concert with Gemma looking really pretty. One copy was for me, and I gave one to each of the girls as well. If I needed any further justification for my indulgence, I reminded myself that all the money raised was going to an extremely good cause.

As the week went on, so each newspaper went looking for a different scoop relating to one or other of the daredevils. Gemma’s childhood trauma, which she had mentioned at the concert, was, of course, of great interest to the tabloid press. It didn’t take long for them to track us down, and we were inundated with emails and phone-calls asking for our story, with each paper trying to outbid the other to get an exclusive interview. Phil and I talked about it, and we decided to politely decline all offers of interviews and stories. If Gemma wanted to talk to the press about it, that was up to her; but we didn’t think the intrusion would be good for us as a family, and we especially didn’t want Maddie to get distracted from preparing for her ‘A’ Levels. I made a particular point of warning the tabloids against going after ‘little Lissie’. Stacie and her Mam were getting even more attention, so much so that on Tuesday Stacie got a text from her Mam telling her to go to her Auntie Clare’s after school instead of coming home. Stacie stayed with her Auntie for the rest of the school week, as her Mam tried to fend off the hacks. I phoned Justine and offered our spare room for her and/or Gemma, in case either of them wanted to escape from the siege outside their house, but they didn’t take up the offer.

Fortunately for us, but tragically for those caught up in it, a terrorist atrocity in London took Britain’s Most Daring off the news agenda on Thursday, and things calmed down after that, at least for us. Not, though, for Lissie.

Following last weekend’s show, Lissie was very much in demand at school! All her classmates and schoolfriends, and plenty of other pupils who only vaguely knew her, wanted a piece of her. At first she really enjoyed the attention, but as the week dragged on she was getting fed up of being ‘little Lissie off the telly’. Her closest friends, once they’d had their curiosity sated, let the subject drop and just treated her as the same old Lissie they already knew and liked. But the hangers-on just kept coming. So much so that, on Saturday afternoon, when she and Rayna had been planning to go to the leisure centre together, Lissie didn’t want to leave the house. So, instead, Rayna came round and the two of them chilled out together and forgot all about Britain’s Most Daring, if only for a few hours.

Maddie’s opportunities to see Gemma were severely limited by schoolwork and the fact that Stacie was staying at her Auntie’s. She did learn, from Stacie, that Gemma was back at work, but that she was out most evenings doing stuff for this week’s dare. Stacie, though, didn’t know what the dare was; at least, not until Thursday teatime. After that, we all had a pretty good idea of what she was up to, as did almost everyone on social media, thanks to a tweet that went viral. ‘OMG! Just been photobombed by Gemma off of @BritainsMostDaring’ read the tweet, which was accompanied by a picture of Gemma, arms aloft, standing behind two young women, one of whom, presumably, was the tweeter.

Maddie spent Saturday putting the final touches to her revision plan. With ‘A’ levels coming up, she knows that her social life will have to be put on hold for the next six weeks or so. She’s conscientious enough to be trusted to do this, and she’s determined to get the grades she needs to go to Uni in September, so we just give her any encouragement she requires as and when she seeks it.
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Old 04-29-2018, 03:40 AM   #39
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Hope the renovations [are going]/[went]* well! Unfortunate timing, since, once you've got behind with this story there's an awful lot of catching up to do!

*delete as appropriate
I can't delete, as they're both appropriate! My part in them is done, but we need to get someone in to hook up the ceiling fan — either a professional electrician for $90 or the prospective son-in-law of the woman who owns the other half of the house for free. Free is our first choice, but he's devilishly hard to get ahold of, so we may end up springing for it… which would be bad, considering that we went $500 over budget already.

So, I'm through the second weekly update. Notes:

Quote:
Originally Posted by alli55 View Post
Lissie is once again sprawled over the floor with her pillow for comfort! As before, her foot is wiggling away nicely!
This wiggling isn't just cute, it's helping to keep her slim. People who fidget regularly burn 5 to 10 pounds of fat per year, depending on just what they do and how often. I used to wiggle my feet, but gave it up in college, and now I'm sorry I did!

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… Each time we see Ayla, however, at least in the first half of the montage, she is at home practising her American accent.
From a later part of that paragraph we learn that by "American accent" Ayla really means 'General American' accent, as that's the one used by most actors. I mentioned the fifty distinguishable British accents last post, so I Googled 'number of American accents' and came up with one site (dialect blog) that lists a dozen, two of which are Canadian, whilst the Washington Post counts two dozen just in the U.S. Wikipedia agrees with dialect blog on major dialects, but also counts twelve minor variations in the U.S. and eight in Canada.

According to dialect blog I speak General American, but according to the Post I'm in the Inland Northern region. (Wikipedia has us outside all defined regions, specifically in a dead zone between Inland North and Western New England. It also says that General American got its start as Inland North, but IN has veered away from it over time. I find this all fascinating.) Supposedly we say 'fried cake' instead of 'doughnut' here, and pronounce 'roof' and 'creek' as 'ruff' and 'crick'. We do not.

Oh, and what I called 'the BBC accent' is apparently officialy termed 'Received Pronunciation'.

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Originally Posted by alli55 View Post
… We see Tariq hanging around a series of hard-surface football pitches in various parts of London. He has decided to use his footballing skills to pass himself off as an up-and-coming player at top local professional club, Queens Park Rangers. He’s a keen QPR fan, so he knows enough about the club to convince the kids who are having a kickabout with him.
This could actually work, and goes along with the woman who convinced the 8 and 9 year olds that she was a children's illustrator. Children that age can be quite easily taken in. Certainly I was! Back when I was eight-and-a-half I met a couple of fellows on the (american) football field across the street from our house, and they had no difficulty convincing me that one of them was Joe Namath. That means nothing to you, but at that time he was as well-known here as David Beckham was a few years ago in England. What should have clued me in was that he was kicking field goals (and doing it very well), which would not have been in Joe Namath's skill set — he being a quarterback rather than a placekicker.

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Joe is able to shed some light on Tariq’s low score from Dan. “Unfortunately, Tariq,” he says, “you chose the wrong team! DAPA Dan’s a Chelsea fan, so QPR was never going to cut it with him!
My uncle is 'Chelsea for life', which apparently is an actual thing over there. He's followed the team since 1940, but has very little knowledge of non-Chelsea football. This mirrors my situation with the New York Mets. People assume I'm a baseball fan because I'm religious about the Mets, but I know almost nothing about any other teams… except that I hate the Yankees! (We have a real City vs. United rivalry going over here.)

Well, I'll finish through episode three tomorrow, then I'm off for a few days. Good luck!

EDIT: A fun little thing to try. I'm interested to see where a Brit would be placed. It did a good job of placing me. https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/...-quiz-map.html

Last edited by Curtis; 04-29-2018 at 11:06 AM. Reason: second edit — woke up this afternoon and realized you might think 'whore' joke refered to you when it was aimed at Joe. Sorry
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Old 04-29-2018, 12:10 PM   #40
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Default Time differences: don't you hate them!

Thanks Curtis! I'll try the fun thing and see where it places me!

I see you edited the post and, really disappointingly, you did so before I had a chance to see the whore joke you were concerned about. I'm now intrigued to know exactly what you put; presumably it was a dig at Joe's use of "wor" instead of "our". This, I can assure you, is a very common Geordie thing! Please feel free to reinstate the joke, I won't (and wouldn't) have been the least bit offended by it!
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Old 04-29-2018, 12:16 PM   #41
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Default Episode 5 (Part 1)

As the time ticks closer to 8 o’clock, we are starting to gather in the living room, ready for our Saturday evening in front of the telly, catching up with Gemma’s latest exploits. Lissie comes down, with Rayna in tow.

“Mam,” she asks, “can Rayna stay and watch Britain’s Most Daring with us, please?”

“Has she asked her Mam if she can?” I enquire, conscious of the fact that it doesn’t finish till half-past nine.

“Yeah,” Lissie answers, “she said she’ll come and pick her up afterwards.”

“Okay, that’s fine!” I tell her. “Would you two like to sit on the sofa?”

“No, you’re okay,” she says, and disappears.

While she’s gone, Rayna thanks us for letting her watch the show with us. “My Mam doesn’t like it, so I have to watch it on my own on the small telly in my bedroom,” she explains.

Lissie’s soon back, with two pillows and her sleeping bag. She unzips it and spreads it out on the floor, and the two of them lay on top, side by side, heads propped up by elbows that are resting on the pillows.

It’s not long before the announcer alerts us to the start of the programme.


“Next on Channel 4, it’s the show that everyone’s talking about, Britain’s Most Daring. See what I mean? Even I’m talking about it!”

The familiar theme music accompanies the opening titles, which have, as always, been revamped to include clips from last week’s show. As they come to an end, and the applause begins, the usual fade-to-black occurs, and the caption, written in white lettering, appears once more: ‘Last week on Britain’s Most Daring …”

This week’s montage isn’t the usual rapid-fire mix of short clips that challenges the eye to keep up. This time we have three longer clips, one from each of last week’s group dares. We see first Keenan and Tariq, then Shanumi and James, encouraging sections of the Wembley crowd to out-chant each other; this is followed by Jaz singing ‘One Moment In Time’, accompanied by Mia on her keyboard, whilst Bradley, Dylan, and Lowri mingle with an enthusiastic crowd at Bristol Harbourside; and then we see last week’s crowning glory, Gemma singing ‘Somewhere Over The Rainbow’ with Eilidh, Ayla, and Tommy backing her, and Matt adding some bluebird whistles. The last of these clips continues right to the emotional end to Gemma’s song, before the screen fades to black once more as a red number 13 appears. Behind the 13 we see a clip of Tariq being kissed on the cheek and patted on the backside by Aleksandra, before turning and exiting the show. As he does so, the 3 changes to a 2, before the screen fades to black again, and the number 12 follows suit.

Another rapturous round of applause accompanies the appearance on our screens of the show’s two main presenters. Joe, we see, has returned to his more familiar combination of slightly-worn skinny jeans and a t-shirt, which, this week, is a vivid purple colour. Trixie has on a lemon-coloured dress, sleeveless, as is usual for her, which billows out from her hips every time she moves, before falling back to rest midway down her thighs.

“Thank-you,” she says as the applause starts to end, “and welcome to Britain’s Most Daring, with me, Trixie Stonehill, …”

“… and me, Joe Denecker,” comes the familiar first line from Joe.

“After last week’s amazing Musical Extravaganza, we have so much to tell you!” Trixie informs us.

“Yes, we do!” confirms Joe. “As you may already know, the CD and download of last week’s performance by the BMD Northern Singers has only gone and made Number 1 on this week’s charts!” There is enthusiastic cheering, whistling and screaming from the audience.

“And,” Trixie continues, “I can exclusively announce that, so far, it has raised over half-a-million pounds for Heads Together!” Another raucous response from the audience greets this news.

“We had such a great time last week!” Joe recalls. “But, sadly, we also had to say goodbye to Tariq. His departure leaves us with a dozen daredevils doing dares … er … delightfully!” he adds, trying to make his alliteration go on as long as possible.

Trixie shakes her head slowly and rolls her eyes. “As always, at the end of tonight’s show we’ll be losing someone else, because, on this show, Joe …”

“… if you flop you’re dropped!”

“Exactly!”

“When we finally persuaded Lowri to stop partying last week,” Joe informs us, “the remaining daredevils were given their next dare. Let’s see what happened!”

We see the 12 daredevils, sat in their seats once more, with the glammed-up Trixie and Joe-in-a-tuxedo standing alongside. Each daredevil is holding an envelope.

“This week,” the glammed-up Trixie reveals, “there are two different dares, ‘A’ and ‘B’. Can you all open your envelopes and reveal which dare you’ve randomly picked!” The envelopes are opened to reveal 6 ‘A’s and 6 ‘B’s.

As always, we look immediately at Gemma to see which letter she’s holding. It’s ‘A’ this time.

“Okay,” says Joe-in-a-tuxedo, “to explain what the two dares are, here’s the woman that can make the telephone directory sound sexy, wor very own Dare Deliverer!”

“Hello again, my little daredevils!” the voice begins. “This week, I want you to meet some more new people, and have the meeting recorded with a nice little picture! If you have Dare ‘A’, you must photobomb as many strangers’ pictures as you can, and please try to be as creative as possible! Those of you who chose Dare ‘B’, I dare you to get as many selfies with strangers as you can, without telling them who you are or why you’re asking! Good luck, and be daring!”

“Photobombing!” exclaims Lissie. “You were right, Maddie!”

“Yep! That tweet made it pretty obvious!” her sister remarks.


Live in the studio, Trixie says, “As always, the daredevils have had all week to get their dares done.”

“So, if you’ve been photobombed by some maniac this week,” Joe warns, “you might well see yourself on TV in the next hour or so!”

“Right,” Trixie says, “let’s see how they got on, shall we?!”

“Just before we do,” Joe interrupts, “there’s something I’ve been meaning to do!”

Trixie watches as Joe heads over to the DAPAs. He stands between them and pulls them closer in to him. Putting an arm around Danielle’s waist, he pulls out his phone and snaps a selfie. His mission accomplished, he returns to Trixie’s side.

“You quite finished now?” she enquires.

“Uh-huh,” he tells her, showing her the picture on his phone.

“What are we going to do with you?” she asks, rhetorically.

We see the DAPAs looking mystified, as Danielle offers a shrug of her shoulders in response to Trixie’s unanswerable question.

“Right,” says Joe, “let’s crack on! Who are we going to see first, Trix?”

“First up,” she tells him, “let’s go over to Richie and find out how Jaz’s dare went!”

Richie, in his standard tatty jacket and jeans, is sat on one end of a see-saw. It is at its lowest point, meaning his knees are almost banging into his chin. The camera pans up and along to the other end of the see-saw, where we see Jaz, her legs dangling in mid-air, looking down at us. As the interview progresses, the camera gradually pans up until, by the end, Jaz fills the bottom half of the screen.

“So, Jaz,” we hear Richie say, “you’ve got to go selfie-hunting. Have you had any thoughts about how you might do that?”

“Yes,” Jaz replies, “I thought I might hit the Bullring and just pester people!”

“Great! Shall we go then?”

Jaz looks alarmed. “Don’t just get off! You’ve got to let me down gently!”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” we hear him tell her, “I’ve never been any good at doing that!”

Jaz suddenly disappears off the bottom of the screen, with a squeal.

Richie provides the voiceover for a montage of clips showing Jaz doing just what she told us she would: pestering people for a selfie at the Bullring shopping centre in Birmingham.

“True to her word, Jaz is wandering the Bullring looking for selfies from anyone who happens to be coming the other way!” he tells us. “But she’s not having much luck!”

We see a succession of people either refuse her request or, more frequently, move across to avoid her altogether. A mother, with two children in tow, gives Jaz a rather unfriendly glare, which Jaz ignores; the older girl says something to her mother, who shakes her head and increases her pace, forcing the two kids to half-run half-walk to keep up.

“Eventually, her persistence starts to pay off,” Richie says, as we see Jaz getting selfies from a young woman, a middle-aged man, and a middle-aged woman. “But, her antics attract unwanted attention!”

As Jaz asks another young woman for a selfie, we see two security guards approaching her from behind. One of them grabs her arm and manhandles her away from the other woman.

“What exactly are you doing?” the other asks.

“I was just talking with her,” says Jaz, trying to shake her arm loose from the guard’s grip.

“Don’t come the little innocent with me,” he tells her, “we’ve been watching you on CCTV, and you’re causing a nuisance!”

“Can you let go of my arm, please?” she asks. “You’re hurting me!”

If he loosens his grip, it’s not by much, and he certainly seems to have no intention of letting go, presumably in case she decides to leg it!

“You need to come with us, while we decide what to do with you!” the one doing all the talking informs her.

“I told you,” she repeats, raising her voice, “let go of me!”

A young man, in jacket and trousers, stops, his attention grabbed by the commotion. “What’s going on?” he asks the guards.

“It’s nothing to do with you! Move on, please!” the guard orders.

“They’re hurting me!” Jaz tells him.

“I think you should let go of her!” he calmly suggests. “Two burly blokes like you don’t need to be using that sort of force on a young woman!”

“I told you, it’s nothing to do with you,” the security guard repeats.

The man takes out a pen and finds a scrap of paper in one of his pockets. “I’m making a note of your ID!” he informs the guards. “And I will be making a complaint to your company if you don’t let go of her!” Reluctantly, the guard releases Jaz’s arm. “Thank you! Now, what say I accompany the young lady to her car, and that removes your problem for you, and we say no more about it?”

He turns, allowing us to see the front of him for the first time, and we notice that he is wearing a dog collar. He’s a vicar! No wonder the guards were reluctant to pick an argument with him!

The vicar puts a hand on Jaz’s back and gives her a little push-start, and they walk off, leaving the guards to wander away, muttering to each other.

“Thank you, vicar,” she says to him, after they have walked for a moment.

“Tom,” he tells her.

“Jaz,” she responds.

“Well, Jaz, I don’t know what you did to upset them, but you look like you could do with a coffee! Shall we?!” Jaz agrees, and we see the two of them sitting at a table, chatting as they drink.

“Not one to waste an opportunity,” Richie says, “Jaz manages to grab one last selfie!” The montage ends with a shot of Jaz getting a selfie with Tom the vicar!

Returning to the studio, we find Trixie and Joe have been joined by Jaz.

“So, Jaz,” remarks Trixie, “right from the start that looked like a bit of a struggle!”

“Yeah, it was!” she agrees. “People just don’t want to be interrupted when they’re out shopping! They were all like, ‘leave me alone’, ‘stop bothering me’. I thought I’d get more people than I did! It was quite disappointing, really!”

“And then you had the run-in with the security guards …!” Joe says, leaving a pause for Jaz to fill.

“Yeah, they were really nasty! I don’t know what their problem was! But luckily Tom rescued me!”

“Yes,” Trixie interrupts, “I was going to ask about that! How did you feel when he stepped in?”

“I saw straight away that he was a vicar, so I thought, well, vicars are supposed to be nice, aren’t they?! So, I just kind of let him talk to them. And then he just sort of took control, and, because he was a vicar, I decided I could trust him, so, yeah!”

“And you even got a selfie with him!” Joe remarks.

“Yeah, he was really sweet about that!” Jaz says.

“Well, we saw how tough it was, but let’s find out how wor DAPAs rate your effort!” Joe says. “D ’n’ D, what’s it to be?”

The DAPAs are not terribly impressed, with Dan awarding 5 points and Danielle only 4. Jaz’s total of 9 points means she is at risk of ending up in the Dare-Off.

“Yeah,” she admits, when asked by Joe, “I thought it might be quite a low score. Maybe I’ll be alright if some of the others found it hard as well!”

“And we’ll find out if they did, in part 2,” Trixie informs us. “Join us after the break for more Britain’s Most Daring!”

“What would you do if someone came up to you and asked for a selfie?” Lissie asks Rayna.

“Probably run away!” her friend replies.

“But they wouldn’t ask you,” Maddie points out, “because you’re obviously a child.”

“What d’you mean?” Lissie asks her sister.
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Old 04-30-2018, 12:02 AM   #42
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Nuclear

Quote:
Originally Posted by alli55 View Post
I see you edited the post and, really disappointingly, you did so before I had a chance to see the whore joke you were concerned about. I'm now intrigued to know exactly what you put; presumably it was a dig at Joe's use of "wor" instead of "our". This, I can assure you, is a very common Geordie thing! Please feel free to reinstate the joke, I won't (and wouldn't) have been the least bit offended by it!
The e-mail notifications I receive from getDare when posts are made to threads in which I've posted include the full unedited text of that post, so in the future you could try looking there first. This time I'll give it to you, but don't expect much, as it didn't sound as funny whilst well-rested at 2pm as it had at 7am on no sleep: "Supposedly we say 'fried cake' instead of 'doughnut' here, and pronounce 'roof' and 'creek' as 'ruff' and 'crick'. We do not. We do, however, avoid whores who say 'wor'." See? Not really worth asking after.

I'm not totally unfamiliar with the use of 'innit'; it's a word commonly used by John Constantine, a Cockney wizard from DC Comics. He, however, uses it specifically to replace 'isn't it?' whilst you use it in this week alone in place of 'couldn't you?' (once), 'haven't I?' (twice) and 'aren't I?' (twice). Is it really that versatile where you live?

Dan catching the blown kiss is simply too precious by half. I've only ever seen that done in movies, and then it was always to put the point across to the audience that the couple involved were ridiculously gaga about each other.

Dylan's 15 in week three is probably too high. I agree with Danielle that it's only worth 6, because everything done to him had zero permanence… and I see Phil agrees with us!

Generally the DAPAs have done an excellent job of scoring, especially considering that they don’t know what’s coming next. I’d’ve had them along on the dares and tabulating as they went, then just revealing their scores on the show. So far I’ve only seen one score in each episode I disagreed with — each time too high… and now I think they were a touch low on Special K; I'd've given him 10 total (5 each), possibly because he's how I would've likely ended up.

Quote:
Originally Posted by alli55 View Post
“… Shanice is giving Matt a Mohican.
I had to laugh at this. Being from the region where this hairstyle originated more than four hundred years ago, I can authoritatively state that it's a Mohawk, not a Mohican. Both are tribes (nations) of native American Indians, the names are similar and they both own big resort casinos today, but it's like calling an Englishman an Irishman.

Mohawks are part of the Iroquois Confederation whilst Mohicans are Algonquin Indians, the distinction being language family… and the fact that over a couple of centuries the Iroquois wiped out eight Algonquin tribes. One of the tribes that was destroyed was the Mohican.

This might beg the question of how a non-existant tribe now owns one of the largest resort casinos on the east coast. In the U.S. each tribe sets its own qualifying standards for membership. The most restrictive require ¼ ancestry from that tribe; the most liberal only 1/64. The Mohicans are among the most liberal, and they're still tiny. Supposedly there are no full- or half-breed Mohicans remaining, and there haven't been for over 250 years.

Quote:
Originally Posted by alli55 View Post
I look at Maddie, who is focussed intently on the TV. Is that just because she’s hooked, or is it to avoid the possibility of any embarrassing eye-contact with one of us at this moment?

Glancing at Lissie, I am somewhat at a loss to know precisely where she is in her emotional development. She, too, appears engrossed in the on-screen action. But I wonder about her awareness of sex and her reaction to its mention.

Maddie glances at me, obviously feeling somewhat awkward at having to share this subject matter with her parents; particularly, I assume, her Dad. I smile reassuringly, but I don’t think it helps.

I look down at Lissie, to see how she is reacting to Trixie’s questions, but I can’t really tell. I assume that, at nearly 13, she does at least know what Trixie is referring to, but a nagging voice in the back of my mind tells me that, maybe, it’s time for an awkward sit-down talk with my younger daughter.
These four paragraphs are wonderfully done. They read like they were written by someone who had been in the position of at least one of the three women.

Based on my experiences in the 1970s, by the age of nearly 13 Lissie has already become sexually aware. It happened to my sister and me when we were VERY young, had spread through half our classmates by sixth grade (ages 11-12) and was universal by eighth grade (ages 13-14). From what I gather by reading Time magazine, children are even more precocious today. By 'aware' I don't mean 'active', but that it was a frequent topic of discussion and curiosity amongst our peers.

Well, that's through the third weekly update. I'll try to get to episode four on Thursday.
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Old 04-30-2018, 12:06 PM   #43
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Default Mohicans, innit!

Thanks for the interesting info on Mohawk/Mohican history. The thing is, everyone over here knows the haircut as a Mohican, so you'll just have to accept that! Sorry, but that's how it is!!

As for "innit", for Tariq this is no more than a verbal 'tick', something that is quite common amongst younger people, certainly from my experience.
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Old 04-30-2018, 12:21 PM   #44
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Default Episode 5 (Part 2)

My darling husband is pretty easy-going most of the time; he doesn’t let things rile him, as a rule. But, there are one or two things that are guaranteed to get him going, and his daughters have just lit the blue touch-paper on one of them!

“What Maddie means,” he begins, “is that our society is now so screwed-up that an adult, especially a man, cannot have any contact with a child that isn’t obviously related to him, without people suspecting that he’s got some dirty ulterior motive. I get that you have to be careful, I’ve got no problem with that! But when you get to a stage where a teacher can’t put an arm around a crying child to comfort them, or someone who’s lost doesn’t dare ask a young teenager for directions, then there’s something seriously wrong!”

Rayna looks slightly alarmed by the intensity of her friend’s Dad’s outburst, so I decide to make a point of my own to everyone. I lean forward, and reach my arm down to rest my hand on Rayna’s shoulder. I give it a gentle rub, as I tell her, “Don’t worry, Rayna, he isn’t usually this angry!” Then, keeping my hand on her shoulder, I explain to the others, “See, harmless physical contact! What your Dad is saying is that lots of adults nowadays wouldn’t dare to touch a child in this way, unless it was their own son or daughter. And so, the child, in need of a bit of reassurance, loses out.” Rayna smiles at me, and, having made my point, I remove my hand.

“Oh, I get it!” remarks Lissie.

“Exactly!” agrees Phil. “I’m not saying everyone should go around touching each other all the time. But we’ve gone too far the other way now, and it’s not healthy for society!” His rant over, Phil sits back into the sofa.

Maddie, with a mischievous glint in her eye, gets up and comes across to where he’s sat. She plonks herself on his lap, leans into him, and rubs his arm with one hand.

“There you are, Daddy,” she tells him, “have a nice cuddle with your lovable teenager!”

“That’s not what I meant, and you know it!” he replies. “But thank you for the cuddle, anyway!” He goes to ruffle her hair, but thinks better of it, and instead gives her a gentle kiss on the cheek.

As the theme music begins, she slides off him and returns to ‘her’ chair.


“Welcome back!” says Trixie once more. “Before the break we saw Jaz pestering people for selfies and getting herself in trouble with the authorities, which has left her facing the possibility of being in tonight’s Live Dare-Off.”

“But it’s early days, so she may be fine!” Joe points out.

“Next up,” continues Trixie, “let’s see how Mia approached her photobombing dare. We gave Olly the task of keeping an eye on her.”

We find Olly sitting across a table from Mia in a typical high-street coffee shop. He is wearing his usual combination of long-sleeved shirt and smart jeans. His extravagant hairstyle is attracting a fair bit of attention from other customers, but he is oblivious to this, too busy admiring Mia’s recently-acquired tattoo, which she got for her makeover dare a couple of weeks ago.

“Nice artwork!” he comments, before turning his attention to us. “I’ve come to Weymouth to find out what Mia has planned for her dare,” he explains. Turning back to Mia, he asks, “So, any thoughts, Mia?”

“Yeah, actually,” she reveals. “When we were given the dare, we were told to be creative, and I’ve had this really wicked idea!”

“Go on …!” Olly encourages.

“I’m going to do a ‘5-a-day’ photobombing campaign!” she tells him, smiling broadly.

“And what will that involve?”

“I’m going to dress up as different fruit and photobomb people with the message to eat your 5-a-day!”

“How are you going to get that message across?”

“With this!” Mia plonks an A4-sized black metal square onto the table, with a clang. On the square is a large white number 5. “The cricket club let me borrow it,” she reveals.

We cut to a shot of Olly in a typical seaside shopping street, which, presumably, is in Weymouth. “Well,” he says to camera, “Mia is prowling the town centre looking for opportunities to spread her 5-a-day message. Let’s see if we can spot her!”

The camera pans round and our eyes are instantly drawn to a 7-foot tall banana walking along the street. As we watch, the banana spots a potential target and darts across the road, brandishing its number 5. We see a shocked elderly man do a double-take, as the nice photo of what we assume is his wife suddenly has a large banana in the background.

“That’s 1!” comments Olly. Helpfully, he keeps a count for us during a brief montage, where we see Mia photobomb a group of young women, another older couple, a bemused oriental tourist, and a group of slightly petrified young children with their mums. “5!” he concludes.

“You’re off to a good start!” he tells Mia. “What’s next?”

“Time for a quick change!” she says. We then see speeded-up footage of her removing herself from the banana costume and putting on a slice of watermelon. “Okay, let’s go!” she tells us.

Mia returns to the same street where she was so successful as a banana, and begins her latest assault.

“6!” says Olly, as she appears behind two middle-aged women having their photo taken in front a grand-looking building. “7! … 8! … 9!” he adds, as more people become victims of Mia’s campaign.

“Watch out, Weymouth, here I come!” says Mia, dressed now as a strawberry. She’s moved to the seafront, and is lurking around the famous red clock tower, which is always a popular photo opportunity for tourists. It isn’t long before she’s popping out from behind the tower to add a little zest to otherwise ordinary photos. By the time the strawberry has finished, Olly has reached 16 in his count.

She’s not finished yet, though! Still by the clock tower, she’s now attracting attention as an orange. This time she manages to photobomb another five pictures, hiding behind the tower and popping out at the last minute, as before.

“22!” Olly tells us. Any viewers who have been keeping track of her score for themselves will be puzzled by this, since they will have only reached 21.

Speeded-up footage of another costume change allows us to watch the orange morph into a pod of peas; not strictly a fruit, but still one of your 5-a-day! It’s a well-known fact that vegetables are not as popular as fruit, so maybe that’s the reason that Mia, in her peapod costume, only manages two more photobombs, bringing her total to 23, or as Olly insists, “24!”.

We return to the studio, where Trixie and Joe have been joined by a 7-foot banana.

“Tell me you didn’t travel up dressed like that!” Trixie pleads.

“What do you think?” Mia teases.

“I’m thinking you’re looking a little over-ripe!” Joe quips.

Mia smiles a very obvious false smile.

“Before we go over to the DAPAs for their verdict, there’s one more thing we just have to show you!” Trixie tells us. “Take a look at this!”

We see a shot of a traffic accident on a normal-looking urban street. It doesn’t look really serious, but it is obviously bad enough for police traffic officers to be taking photos of the incident. As they point the camera to capture the scene, a large orange holding a number 5 dashes into the frame!

The audience roar with laughter, and applaud loudly.

“I canna believe you photobombed the police!” Joe exclaims.

“That was awesome!” Mia tells him. “They got a bit cross to start with, but they ended up seeing the funny side!”

“Fantastic!” comments Trixie. “Right, what do the DAPAs make of it all?”

We’re expecting high scores here, and we’re not disappointed, with both DAPAs awarding Mia 9 points, giving her 18 in total. Even this early in tonight’s show, it looks like we’ve got our winner!

“Congratulations, Mia,” Joe says, warmly, “that’s a fantastic score, and totally deserved! Mia, everyone!”

Mia goes across and stands next to the lines of chairs, unable to sit in the banana costume.

“How do you follow that?” asks Trixie.

“I don’t know,” admits Joe, “but maybe Lorna does! She spent some time with Eilidh this week.”

Lorna and Eilidh are standing next to each other, in front of the entrance to a large shopping centre. They are both well wrapped up, so clearly the weather in Scotland has not been so nice this week as it was in Weymouth.

“We’re back in Glasgow, scene of last week’s amazing musical triumph,” Lorna tells us, “and Eilidh is about to go searching for selfies.”

We see a montage of rapid-fire images, each showing Eilidh having a selfie taken by a different person. It looks like her dare is going really well. But, Lorna’s voiceover reveals a problem.

“Loads of people want a selfie with Eilidh,” she explains, “but, unfortunately, that isn’t the dare that she’s trying to perform.”

The montage is interrupted by Eilidh, who says, “I’m no getting a chance tae ask anyone for a selfie, because everyone keeps asking me for one! I dinnae know how tae get around this!”

It appears that Eilidh is a victim of last week’s success. She’s also a victim of her own sweet nature. Unable to turn the selfie-seekers away disappointed, we see the montage continue with people literally queuing to have their picture taken with the local Britain’s Most Daring star.

“Oh, crumbs!” exclaims Lissie. “D’you think Gemma’s going to have the same problem?”

“Possibly,” her Dad says, “although she’s got the other dare, hasn’t she?! The photobombing one! So, so she might be alright!”

“I hope so!” Lissie says.


“It proved impossible to get away from the crowds wanting a picture with Eilidh,” Lorna’s voiceover tells us, as we see her and Eilidh sitting on a bench in a quiet park, where, fortunately, there appears to be no-one else around, “so eventually I had to go in and rescue her.”

“That didn’t go well, did it?” the onscreen Lorna says to her companion.

“It was a nightmare!” Eilidh agrees. “I dinnae mean that in a nasty way!” she hastily adds. “I get that after last week people are interested in me, but it’s just no letting me do my dare!”

“Have you had any thoughts about what you can do?”

“No! I dinnae know!” Eilidh admits. “I cannae think how I can do this!”

Lorna leans across and puts a comforting arm around the frustrated young woman.

When we return to the studio, Eilidh is standing next to Trixie, shaking her head.

“Eilidh,” Trixie says, “what can I say?”

“I know!” she replies.

“Did you actually manage to ask anyone for a selfie?”

“Not at the shopping centre, no!” Eilidh answers. “But my Granny lives in a care home, and when I visited her yesterday, I asked a couple of the staff and got selfies with them. So, that was better than nothing, I suppose!”

“Well, let’s hope the DAPAs take into account what happened!” remarks Joe. “Let’s have the scores, please!”

It’s unclear whether Dan has taken Eilidh’s predicament into account, when he awards 4 points; but it is obvious that Danielle is sticking rigidly to the dare instructions, as she gives Eilidh just 2 points. A total of 6 means that Eilidh is almost certain to be in tonight’s Dare-Off. She looks dejected by the result.

“Hard luck, Eilidh!” Joe says, placing his hand on her arm. “Remember, it’s not over yet!” he tells her, by way of encouragement. She gives him a quick smile, before going to take her place, nearly tripping over the bottom of the banana as she does so.

“Well, it’s been mixed fortunes for our daredevils, so far, this week!” Trixie remarks. “Join us after the break, when we check out some more of this week’s dares on Britain’s Most Daring!”

“Mia’s dare was amazing, wasn’t it!” Rayna exclaims. “I think she might win!”

“She got 18,” Lissie reminds her, “so she probably will!”

“No,” Rayna makes herself clear, “I meant I think she might win the whole thing!”

“Oh,” replies Lissie, “I hope not!”

Well, obviously!
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Old 05-01-2018, 12:03 PM   #45
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Default Episode 5 (Part 3)

Some of us, Lissie in particular, are a little concerned that Gemma’s new-found fame is going to affect her ability to do her dare this week. That was certainly what we’ve just seen happen to poor Eilidh, who you have to feel sorry for. We know, thanks to Twitter, that Gemma has managed at least one successful photobomb, but it seems likely, too, that lots of people will now recognise her and want a selfie with her. Will this prevent her from doing her photobombing? I suppose we’ll just have to wait and see!

“Welcome back to this week’s Britain’s Most Daring, which is all about photobombs and selfies!” Trixie reminds us.

“That’s right,” Joe continues, “and it’s proving to be quite a challenge for wor daredevils.”

“Eilidh had problems fending off the crowds following her amazing performance last week,” Trixie explains.

“So, would Gemma have the same problem?” Joe asks. “Here’s Lisa to tell us.”

Well, at least we aren’t going to have to wait long to find out!

As always, when Gemma’s bit comes on, everyone leans a little closer to the TV, and Lissie’s foot goes into overdrive!


Lisa greets us from the middle of the River Tyne, with the famous bridge in the background. She is wearing a dark-green roll-neck jumper that clings to every curve of her body, together with a pair of tight black leather trousers.

“I’m here on the Gateshead Millennium Bridge,” she informs us, “to see how Gemma is getting on with her photobombing. She’s somewhere down over there.” Lisa points to the far side of the river, where there seem to be quite a few people milling about.

We spot Gemma wandering around, alert to any possible opportunity to attempt another photobomb. She is wearing a beanie hat, pulled well down over her head, presumably in an attempt to prevent people from recognising her. By and large, it seems to be working. As we watch, she spots a phone being held ready to take a picture. Quick as a flash, she dashes out, arms waving furiously, and manages to get herself in the frame. The photo-taker looks at her, rather annoyed, then takes another picture without any further interruption.

Lisa catches up with Gemma and says, “Nice photobombing! How’s the dare going?”

“It’s better since I’ve had this on!” she touches her beanie hat with one hand to indicate what she’s referring to. “The first night I couldn’t get anything done, ’cos people kept wanting selfies with us. So, yesterday, I come up with the beanie hat idea, and it’s really helped us.”

Well done, Gemma! She’s smart enough to have thought of disguising herself.

“Any particular reason why you’ve come here to do your dare?” Lisa enquires.

“I’ve been trying to think of places people take photos a lot,” she explains, “and the Blinking Eye Bridge is an obvious one. I’m going to try Exhibition Park tomorrow.”

“How easy have you found it to …” begins Lisa.

“Hold on!” Gemma interrupts. She dashes off and the camera follows her as she leaps dramatically behind two young women, arms aloft. The resulting photo is the one that caused the Twitter sensation.

Slightly out of breath, Gemma returns to Lisa. “You were saying?” she pants.

“Nice one!” remarks Lisa. “Yeah, how easy have …”

“Sorry! I think there’s another one!” Gemma sprints off again, before throwing herself behind a bemused man, who has already turned his head away from the camera at the sound of her running towards him. She appears uncertain whether this photobomb attempt has been successful, and we watch as she waits to see what they do next. When they make another attempt at their photo, she assumes she’s in their original picture, and gives us a thumbs-up.

Lisa provides the voiceover to a short montage of further photobomb attempts Gemma makes.

“The next evening Gemma is at Exhibition Park, and soon finds plenty of action. After her photobombing was outed on Twitter, she’s had to change her disguise.”

After the opening panoramic shot of Exhibition Park, we focus on Gemma, who has her long blonde hair wrapped into a swirl on the top of her head and is wearing a pair of glasses. It’s such an effective disguise that it’s only because the camera is following her around that we know for sure it’s her.

“Oh my God,” Lissie cries, “she looks really different!”

“I think that’s the idea!” Maddie tells her, sarcastically.

Lissie pulls a face at her older sister, who smirks in response.


“Gemma’s new disguise allows her to successfully photobomb a number of unwitting people’s pictures, …” Lisa continues, as we see Gemma doing just that.

One particular middle-aged woman gets quite irate when she discovers the picture of her two sons has some mad girl leaping about in the background. “You should try acting your age, young lady!” she advises Gemma, who just runs off, laughing.

“… until she’s rumbled by someone she used to go to school with!” Lisa reveals.

As Gemma is getting ready to pounce on another unwitting couple’s photo-moment, a dark-haired teenage girl suddenly shrieks, “Oh my God, it’s you, isn’t it?!” Gemma, distracted by this, misses her opportunity and tries to slink away, but the girl isn’t letting her go that easily.

“Who’s that?” Lissie asks Maddie.

“I’m not sure!” Maddie tells her. “I recognise her, but I can’t remember her name!”


“I know it’s you, Gemma!” the girl tells her.

“For God’s sake, Zoe, keep your voice down!” Gemma implores her unwanted companion.

“Zoe, that’s it!” cries Maddie, her memory jogged by the fact that Gemma’s just called the girl by her name!

And I thought forgetting people’s names was something that only happened to us older ones!


“Are you still photobombing people?” Zoe asks.

“What do you think?” Gemma snaps.

“Sor-ree!” Zoe replies, indignantly. “I was only asking!”

“Well, I don’t want people knowing, do I?!” Gemma points out. “If you want a selfie or whatever, just say and then leave us alone, will you? No offence or anything, like!”

“I used to think you were really nice, but you’ve changed! Being on TV and all has gone to your head!”

Gemma’s not having that! “Look, Zoe, I’m not trying to get rid of you,” she blatantly lies. “Well, I am, but only because I need to do this week’s dare, and it won’t work if people know who I am! D’you understand?” Zoe nods. “Tell you what, if you want to help,” Gemma offers, “you go and stand over there …” She points to a position near the entrance to the park. “… and if you see anyone looking as if they’re going to take a photo, call us just enough to make my phone go off and then point to who’s got the camera.”

Zoe nods again, and asks, “Will I be on the telly?”

“Dunno, depends what they decide to put on the show. You might be!”

“Cool!” she remarks.

With Zoe’s help, Gemma manages to photobomb another couple of people’s pictures, before the montage ends with Zoe and Gemma each taking a selfie of themselves together.

“Wow, Gemma,” exclaims Joe, “that was a close one! You wormed you way out of that remarkably well!”

“Thanks, yeah!” replies Gemma. “Zoe’s a really nice girl, and I didn’t want to seem like I was being nasty to her, you know. It worked out alright in the end!”

“And you set Twitter on fire as well!” Joe reminds her.

“Yeah, that was a nightmare! I didn’t even know till I got home that night! When I saw the photo, I was shocked that they’d recognised us!”

Joe gives her the benefit of his own, limited, experience. “Well, that’s what fame does for you!”

Trixie rolls her eyes once more, as she calls upon the DAPAs to give their verdict on Gemma’s dare. Both of them press 7 on their keypads, giving Gemma 14 points that will see her safely through to next week’s show.

“Happy with that!” she tells Trixie, before walking over to take her place next to Eilidh, who greets her with a hug.

“Okay,” Joe says, “time now to take a look at how Ayla and Keenan got on, as they attempted to grab as many selfies with strangers as they could.”

The two daredevils’ selfie-seeking is revealed to us in the form of a montage …

… Initially, we see Ayla speaking into camera. “Who takes the most selfies?” she asks herself and us. She then proceeds to answer her own question: “Tourists, that’s who!” …

… Our first view of Keenan seems to indicate that the same thought has also struck him. He is outside the gates of Buckingham Palace once more, asking people for a selfie. Although a lot of people are reluctant, he’s getting one or two to agree …

… Ayla is back at Edinburgh Castle, where we saw her a few weeks ago, but she has adopted a slightly different approach to Keenan. She is seeking out castle staff and tour guides, and asking them for a selfie. As a result, her success-rate is noticeably higher than Keenan’s …

… It seems great minds think alike! Keenan has moved from Buckingham Palace to the Tower Of London, and he is now also targeting people whose job it is to pander to the attraction’s visitors. He seems particularly pleased when he manages to get a selfie with the famous Beefeaters …

… Ayla still seems to be doing well. But, then, it happens! A woman comes up to her and asks her for a selfie. Ayla obliges, hoping she might then just go quietly away. But she doesn’t. She calls her friend over, loudly announcing, “Look who it is!”. Once people are aware of the presence of one of the Britain’s Most Daring choir, Ayla suffers the same fate as Eilidh. Unable to continue her dare, she poses for a few selfies before making an excuse and leaving …

… Keenan is now outside the Houses Of Parliament. We see him somehow manage to get a selfie with a young female police officer, while she is patrolling with her male colleague, who seems both amused and bemused by it all …

… “I’m being recognised too much,” Ayla tells us, “so I can’t get my dare done. It’s really frustrating! I’m going to have to try to think of a way I can get around this!” …

… Still in Parliament Square, Keenan leans towards us and says, conspiratorially, “I’ve just spotted Boris Johnson over there! I’m going in for a selfie!” …

… Wearing dark glasses and an equally dark wig, Ayla is back at Edinburgh Castle again. Unfortunately, the wind has got up and she is having a great deal of trouble keeping her wig in place. Rather than being inconspicuous, as she had hoped, she is now becoming the centre of attention once again. Inevitably, it isn’t long before she is outed by a sharp-eyed member of the public …

… Keenan approaches Boris Johnson, phone at the ready. A burly minder in a dark suit steps in front of him, preventing him from reaching Boris. But the Foreign Secretary seems up for a selfie, and brushes the minder out of the way. He poses with Keenan, and then shakes his hand, before walking off with his minder in tow. Keenan comes over to us and shows us the selfie …

… The montage concludes with Ayla standing next to a seat on the upper deck of a bus. “I’ve had a bit of wind trouble today!” she tells us, before sitting down heavily onto the seat. A farting noise is heard from the whoopee cushion that she’s placed there. “Told you!” she says, and giggles.

It may have been a cheap and predictable joke, but it amuses Rayna and Lissie greatly!

Back in the studio, Ayla is sat on the end of the front row of chairs, with Keenan sitting directly behind her. Joe and Trixie are standing next to them.

“You both had the same idea, to go all touristy!” Joe remarks to Ayla.

“Aye, it seemed obvious!”

“And you also both went after the tour guides and the staff at the attractions,” Trixie notes.

“Yeah, eventually,” Keenan says. “It took me a bit longer than Ayla to work that out,” he acknowledges.

“But, Ayla,” Joe continues, “you had the same problem we saw Eilidh and Gemma have.”

“I kept getting recognised,” Ayla recalls, “it drove me mad! I was like ‘just go away; leave me alone; let me do my dare!’.”

“Now, Keenan,” Trixie begins, “Boris Johnson?”

“I just saw him and I thought yeah, why not?!” laughs Keenan. “You got to, ain’t you?!”

“If you say so!” replies Joe.

“Right, over to the DAPAs for the all-important scores,” says Trixie. “Let’s start with Ayla!”

The DAPAs both award 5 points, putting Ayla in the bottom three for the moment on 10; when prompted by Trixie, they then both give Keenan 6, meaning, with 12 points, he’s safe for another week.

“So, it’s Ayla, Jaz, and Eilidh facing the prospect of tonight’s Live Dare-Off at the moment,” Joe informs us, “but we’re only halfway through wor daredevils, so that could well change!”

“Join us after the break, for more photobombing and selfie-hunting on Britain’s Most Daring!” adds Trixie.

“I reckon Gemma got lucky with the dares again!” comments Phil.

“What d’you mean?” Lissie asks her Dad.

“The photobombing seems to be much easier than the selfies!” he explains.

“I’d love to go photobombing!” Lissie informs us. “That’d be so cool! Don’t you think, Rayna?” Rayna giggles, which Lissie takes to mean “yes!” “What are you doing tomorrow afternoon?” she asks her friend.

Oh dear! Watch out Wallsend!
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