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Old 12-31-2020, 06:39 AM   #31
Bloxo
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Default 2020

After how 2019 ended...Rich was curious to see what would happen when he got back to the office...

On the first day back, he brought a lot of Chocolate and Sweets to share with the team and a couple of small gifts for people.

He knew Asia had a sweet tooth...he asked her to hand out some Harry Potter sweets he had picked up, the ones with very random flavours like Vomit and such...as she seemed to like Harry Potter and was ever looking to look good in front of the team, he was sure she would jump at the chance...she tried to get him to ask Paulina to do it, but in the end agreed and the team had a bit of a laugh with those sweets.

The old pattern though returned...she would talk to him in the office a little, especially when she needed help...but outside of work she would literally blank him, Rich was very disheartened...and in fact did some very stupid things at this point.

1. He sent an email to Asia on the company email saying he hoped they could still work together well and that he still wanted to help her...even referencing the hugs they had had before...
2. He pinged her on the work communicator to say he would leave her alone
3. He got someone else from the team involved who said she would speak to Asia and find out what was going on
4. He called her a psycho in front of his and her manager (he didn't think in her earshot) when she ignored him saying goodbye after work, though this manager knew all about the situation and actually laughed a little about it.

To the third scenario, the girl came back a bit shocked...and said that it was very clear that Asia didn't want to have anything to do with him, but didn't say more than that.

Other than this, Asia would give the occasional death stare in his direction at work, would leave him out of conversations on nights out and acted very cold and hostile towards him at all times, she stopped asking him for help and if she ever did engage in conversation with him...it was said through grated teeth.

Rich then changed teams, as he was promoted and this transition was nearing it's end, he was asked to step in on another Transition, this time for France. He was very sad to leave his team who he had worked with for almost 2 years now, but it was what the company required.
Of course he couldn't help himself from sending a goodbye email to Asia.

He learnt she was flirting with other guys in the office, including some people in his new team, even ones married with children, yet another small revelation to add to the list

The rest of the year...well Covid took hold and everyone worked from home. He saw Asia a few times more...

He saw her at a social event, actually a combined thing for a few birthdays, she completely blanked him.
He ran into her in the office when he was collecting his work monitor, he briefly talked to her to say that he had forgiven her and there were no hard feelings, she didn't really respond to this.

He saw her at another work do later in the year, again she blanked him.

Finally he saw her in the office once again when it briefly re-opened, he tried to issue an apology to her...he wasn't quite sure for what but he wanted to try it...her response was that she didn't want to talk to him.

That year he went to visit Poznan and met up with Maks who was now living there and it was revealed that in fact...back in January Asia was going around telling people that Rich was obsessed with her and wouldn't leave her alone, she also reported the emails he had sent as examples of harassment...effectively she had tried to get him fired from work, Rich now knew she was dangerous...and a threat to his career, he finally knew to back off and to leave her alone for good this time.
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Old 12-31-2020, 07:09 AM   #32
Bloxo
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Default Final thoughts and questions unanswered...

If you have got this far...I want to thank you for reading, this story was a therapeutic exercise for me, as I try to purge the final thoughts of Asia from my system.

I actually went to see a psychotherapist this year to help me talk through some things and learn more about myself, to understand more about what I went through and to try and find some closure.

You may have found this a depressing read, maybe you feel sorry for me...maybe you think me an idiot, or possibly you think I was crazy...I would not blame you for any of these notions you have in your head.

Did I become obsessed with her? Yes I did, the question is why...and that I now have the answer to through my research and counselling.

What I went through is something called a trauma bond, when me and Asia were together my brain was pumped with so many endorphins it was like being on a rather powerful drug, the hot and cold actions of Asia further instilled this addiction, this is why even after all this time, she still enters my thoughts and why I struggled so much to let go.
Also, my Co-dependency tendencies are a big factor here.
I convinced myself that she was the perfect girl for me, when we were happy together it seemed like a heaven on earth...and that is something hard to let go of...

Should I have just dropped things and left everything alone? Yes, I should have...all my efforts to win her back only made things worse.

Is Asia actually crazy? That I cannot say with certainty, but from my perspective she has some issues and narcissism is the best explanation that fits the criteria I witnessed and experienced, can I be 100% though? No I can't...

I am in a Narcissistic counselling group on facebook and I see people with similar stories to mine on a daily basis, I try to advise others and help them find answers as they do the same for me and that has helped me to find some peace.

Inevitably there are some questions left unanswered after all that has happened...

Is what she said about her past relationship true? Or did she distort the facts to make herself look innocent, or did it even exist at all, and it was a clever story to give her a reason to walk away?

Why did she go from starting to be nice to me again before Christmas to being hostile afterwards?
There are a few theories:
1. The video I sent her about post traumatic relationship disorder upset her, maybe even hurt her.
2. She found out about my suspicions regarding her being a Narcissist
3. With me moving teams...maybe she just didn't see a use for me anymore

Did she ever truly care for me?
A big question, I think the answer may be yes...but briefly, during the very early stage of our relationship, but this soon faded. But ultimately I will never know how she truly feels

Did she purposely manipulate me into loving her?
My research says this is often the case, that through clever psychological tricks that narcissists can do this in order to ensnare their victims into the Trauma bond...but naturally I don't know if it was more her or me that caused the love to develop.
She did try to warn me at the start of the relationship it wouldn't be a permanent thing...that I should have heard much more loudly

If she comes back again, will I end up back with her?
This is a question of how weak I am I guess and what explanations she provides for what happened. For sure, if she does engage with me again I will be on guard and it will take me some time before I could fully trust her...even if that is possible...

If anyone has any questions on what I have said you are welcome to ask them.
Perhaps you too have faced a similar situation in your life and are looking for answers just as I was.

I have been in other relationships since Asia which I haven't mentioned in this story, so I haven't spent my time waiting for her to come back, and I continue to seek the right relationship for me.
Now I am very much focused on working on myself, and this story was part of that checklist to complete.

Again, thank you for reading this if you have done so. If there are any other significant updates on this I will keep you updated, though I suspect if there is to be anything...it will not come for a long time, or at all in fact...but life is unpredictable and you never know what will happen...

Take care and stay safe.

If you want to contribute in a positive way to my self help, please see the links in my signature and feel free to get involved!
__________________
40/m/UK/PL/switch - more dominant

Likes/Dislikes/Limits/Toys
PM DARES!

I'm straight and will only take Dares from Girls, please bear this in mind when writing to me.

Please be genuine, be fun and have a good heart...with a sadistic streak hehe...6 inches

Curious about me or Poland? check out my Youtube!
Bloxo is offline   Reply With Quote
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