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Old 07-16-2018, 08:47 AM   #1
tyragon123
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Default Thoughts on the Concept of Virginity

Do you think the very binary way people think about the concept of "virginity" still makes sense today? (Penis in vagina sex means not a virgin anymore)

To you, do these count as losing your virginity? Explanation encouraged
  • Anal?
  • Oral? (Blowjobs/Cunillingus)
  • Masturbation, using just your hands?
  • Masturbation, aided by toys?
  • Anal/vaginal penetration with toys?
  • Masturbation/Toy Penetration (administered by someone else)?

How connected is virginity to innocence?

What is your perception of virginity?

Do you consider yourself to be a virgin, based on your idea of virginity?
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Old 07-16-2018, 12:45 PM   #2
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To you, do these count as losing your virginity? Explanation encouraged
Anal? I think that anal isn't quite losing your virginity, but it also kinda is. I don't know how to explain it.
Oral? (Blowjobs/Cunillingus) I wouldn't count this as losing your virginity.
Masturbation, using just your hands? No. To me losing virginity is based on being with a partner.
Masturbation, aided by toys? Nope
Anal/vaginal penetration with toys?Nopes
Masturbation/Toy Penetration (administered by someone else)? This one is a little harder. Hmm I think it leans more towards anal for me. Like it does but at the same time not really.

How connected is virginity to innocence? I'm gunna go with not a lot. I'm not a super innocent person. More so lacking experience.

What is your perception of virginity? I think it is a kinda dumb concept, yet I do subscribe to it a little. Mainly because I grew up with it being such a thing. I think what I find dumb is how concerned people are with the idea (especially in connection with women).

Do you consider yourself to be a virgin, based on your idea of virginity? Yes I am.
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Old 07-16-2018, 03:00 PM   #3
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Do you think the very binary way people think about the concept of "virginity" still makes sense today? (Penis in vagina sex means not a virgin anymore)

For me losing virginity is either penetrating or being penetrated. So I lost my virginity with vaginal penetration when I was 15 and my anal penetration, me being top, at 23 and then again me being bottom at 23.

I don't consider oral sex losing virginity, nor is masturbation.

I have no idea how to classify women together who use toys on each other and where one or both never had sex with a man.


To you, do these count as losing your virginity? Explanation encouraged
  • Anal?
  • Oral? (Blowjobs/Cunillingus)
  • Masturbation, using just your hands?
  • Masturbation, aided by toys?
  • Anal/vaginal penetration with toys?
  • Masturbation/Toy Penetration (administered by someone else)?

How connected is virginity to innocence?

Not connected at all. I was very innocent when I lost my virginity.

What is your perception of virginity?

It's a ridiculous norm as it's touted as something to strive to hold onto but with no real good explanation as to why.

Do you consider yourself to be a virgin, based on your idea of virginity?
No.
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Old 07-16-2018, 06:06 PM   #4
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To you, do these count as losing your virginity? Explanation encouraged
Anal?
Oral? (Blowjobs/Cunillingus)
Masturbation, using just your hands?
Masturbation, aided by toys?
Anal/vaginal penetration with toys?
Masturbation/Toy Penetration (administered by someone else)?
I tend to think of the bases. To me, a home run is generally one person fucking another person, so I'd say anal and vaginal sex count. I wouldn't really count oral, masturbation, or toys (at least I wouldn't have for myself). Though now that I think about it, I'm really not sure how I'd apply that to a lesbian couple, because I wouldn't consider them virgins.

How connected is virginity to innocence?
Hardly at all. Sex generally isn't some dirty, corruptive act. It's just another thing that we eventually experience for the first time. I don't think sex has anything to do with how "pure" a person is.

What is your perception of virginity?
Ultimately, I think it's pretty stupid. People put way too much importance on it. A person's value has nothing to do with how much or how little sex they've had.

Do you consider yourself to be a virgin, based on your idea of virginity?
No
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Old 07-16-2018, 06:27 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tyragon123 View Post
Do you think the very binary way people think about the concept of "virginity" still makes sense today? (Penis in vagina sex means not a virgin anymore)It does not and never had made sex. To me having sex for the first time is losing your virginity.

To you, do these count as losing your virginity? Explanation encouraged
  • Anal?Yes.
  • Oral? (Blowjobs/Cunillingus)Yes.
  • Masturbation, using just your hands?No, another person isn't doing it to you.
  • Masturbation, aided by toys?No, see above.
  • Anal/vaginal penetration with toys?Possibly, you doing it yourself or someone else to you. The first is no while the other is yes.
  • Masturbation/Toy Penetration (administered by someone else)?Absolutely.

How connected is virginity to innocence?It's not. It's sex. Sex isn't a bad thing.

What is your perception of virginity?I don't think it's stupid as it is part of my beliefs but, I don't thinkl it should be regarded as innocent or something to strive not to have. It's sex. Is it something you want or is the sex consensual? If yes, I don't care what you do regarding losing or keeping it.

Do you consider yourself to be a virgin, based on your idea of virginity?
Yes, I do consider myself a virgin.
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Old 07-16-2018, 09:02 PM   #6
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i think "virginity" is an antiquated social construct that's not at all necessary in the modern world and should be done away with. it doesn't mean anything. it's not real. there's no one act that makes you "lose" your virginity. furthermore, the concept of virginity is used mainly to oppress women and is harmful by its very nature.
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Old 07-17-2018, 12:40 AM   #7
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I am not a virgin, what other people choose to classify as their own personal preference is up to them (and that view can change over time). What a person chooses to do to themselves or with another person should be their choice- aside from a crime being committed- what a person does is up to them. How they view sex, relationships, behaviors is going to depend on values, education and feelings and again those things can change over time.

The idea of being a 'virgin' for a specific reason is outdated. Now obviously we don't want 10yr olds running around having sex. That isn't healthy physically or emotionally but waiting until you get married and if you don't get married then you never have sex- that's a bit of a stretch. As long as the behavior is healthy for the individual, is consensual and safe then it is no ones business.

To try to distinquish one action from another is pushing beliefs and boundaries onto people.

All that being said- when I educate about sex I include various types of physical contact not just penis/vagina -man on top.
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Old 07-17-2018, 04:07 AM   #8
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So a quick Google gives two definitions of 'virginity';

1. The state of never having had sexual intercourse.

2. The state of being naive, innocent, or inexperienced in a particular context.

I think there is a trend towards using the word 'virginity' more liberally in all sorts of contexts. "I'm an anal virgin" or "I'm a Game of Thrones virgin" are common ways to use the word.

For me, the first definition doesn't make sense in the modern world. Sexual intercourse can mean so many different things depending on your sex, gender and sexuality that there can't be one definition. I think virginity always needs a clarifying word or statement because there is no one "Virginity".
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Old 07-17-2018, 04:53 AM   #9
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Do you think the very binary way people think about the concept of "virginity" still makes sense today? (Penis in vagina sex means not a virgin anymore)No I dont. Especially the different way a girl is treated more so than the boys

To you, do these count as losing your virginity? Explanation encouraged
Anal?Somewhat. Its still sex. Kind of a backdoor loophole.
Oral? (Blowjobs/Cunillingus)NO,but it is a gateway to losing it
Masturbation, using just your hands?No
Masturbation, aided by toys?NO
Anal/vaginal penetration with toys?NO
Masturbation/Toy Penetration (administered by someone else)?I would say yes,if someone is that clsoe ,may as well go and ahead and do it.

How connected is virginity to innocence?It is somewhat connected as long as your still at the point where you can claim innocence. Cant be 40 still a virgin and claim innocence.

What is your perception of virginity?Someone who is pure. has had any sexual encounters and saving themselves for marriage.

Do you consider yourself to be a virgin, based on your idea of virginity?NO,that boat sailed when I was 14
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Old 07-17-2018, 05:15 AM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tyragon123 View Post
Do you think the very binary way people think about the concept of "virginity" still makes sense today? (Penis in vagina sex means not a virgin anymore)

Are you on any other sites? I swear I just HAD this conversation with someone :/ great topic.

No, I don't think penis in vagina = non virgin. My issue is personal. By that definition I lost my virginity before I got double digits. When I was asked that question I USED to call myself a "virgin of will." Being a WILLING consensual participant has to be part of the definition for it to fit for me.

To you, do these count as losing your virginity? Explanation encouraged
  • Anal? No opinion... I've never thought it through.
  • Oral? (Blowjobs/Cunillingus) definitely not part of losing virginity, but definitely a type of sex.
  • Masturbation, using just your hands? I'll say No, like above not loss of virginity, but also type of sex. I'm strange I did this LAST.
  • Masturbation, aided by toys? Same as above.
  • Anal/vaginal penetration with toys? Now here I diverge... if you entered yourself with specific intent to achieve orgasm then yeah, I think it is. But I'll need to think on it more deeply.
  • Masturbation/Toy Penetration (administered by someone else)? Absolutely.

How connected is virginity to innocence? Not at all. I am not a virgin or a virgin of will any longer, but I am absolutely innocent. Innocence is a state of mind. Innocence to me has to do with how you view yourself and the world and others.

What is your perception of virginity?
It must be a consensual giving of yourself. A desired intent and act to be intimate with another consenting individual or yourself. For this reason a person can not lose their virginity to rape or before the age of mental emotional maturity which is different from person to person.

Do you consider yourself to be a virgin, based on your idea of virginity?
I am not. I gave my virginity to the person I loved intentionally, with desire to do so. I am however, and always will be, innocent.
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Old 07-17-2018, 09:29 AM   #11
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Do you think the very binary way people think about the concept of "virginity" still makes sense today? (Penis in vagina sex means not a virgin anymore)
not really, I think any sexual activity involving a partner is losing your virginity. I consider myself to have lost my virginity in high school, but I was in college the first time I had p in v sex.

To you, do these count as losing your virginity? Explanation encouraged
  • Anal?yes
  • Oral? (Blowjobs/Cunillingus)yes
  • Masturbation, using just your hands?no, I think it needs to involve a partner
  • Masturbation, aided by toys?no
  • Anal/vaginal penetration with toys?yes, if it involves a partner
  • Masturbation/Toy Penetration (administered by someone else)?yes

How connected is virginity to innocence?
Not at all imo. I think there are plenty of people I would describe as innocent who aren't virgins. I do think your attitude on sex is part of what makes innocence, like someone who is very open about sex isn't someone I would say is innocent, but having sex once doesn't make you not innocent. And innocence isn't really a positive or negative trait imo, it's just a way to be. I don't think people should be so obsessed with being innocent that they don't do the things they want
What is your perception of virginity?
as I said above, never having had any consensual sexual contact with a partner makes you a virgin

Do you consider yourself to be a virgin, based on your idea of virginity?
im not a virgin by anyone's standards any more, but many would consider me to have lost my virginity much later than I do, bc most of the sex I've had has been with other women
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Old 07-18-2018, 08:33 AM   #12
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This is a really great discussion!

Do you think the very binary way people think about the concept of "virginity" still makes sense today? (Penis in vagina sex means not a virgin anymore)
Given the prevalence of birth control options to prevent unplanned pregnancy and disease transmission, and lack of marrying purely to produce heirs in the world today, I am frequently unsure the concept of virginity is still relevant. That said, I'm still a fan of waiting to become sexually active until you're really, truly feeling ready, because there's a lot of social and emotional weight around it.

To you, do these count as losing your virginity? Explanation encouraged

Anal?
Yes, due to the penetration involved
Oral? (Blowjobs/Cunillingus) No... which I guess means I think about virginity as involving pelvis-to-pelvis pentration!
Masturbation, using just your hands? No, a loss of virginity requires a second person
Masturbation, aided by toys? No
Anal/vaginal penetration with toys? No, because there still is only one person and a hand involved
Masturbation/Toy Penetration (administered by someone else)? If the dildo is worn, it qualifies. If it's hand-held, in my mind, it's not necessarily different from other forms of mutual masturbation, which I don't think qualify.

As a side note, I'm not sure where I'd set this line for women who prefer not to be penetrated by their female partner; I wouldn't normally consider oral to be taking someone's Virginity with a capital V, but it is a form of sex, and if the people involved want to say they are sexually active non-virgins, I am not going to argue with them, either. Having your first intimate contact with a partner of any kind is generally an intense experience no matter how you label it, and where labeling can be ambiguous, you have some right to define the terms you use.


How connected is virginity to innocence?
I think of innocence as an absence of guilt or self-consciousness. In that sense, if you feel guilty about what you do with a partner (or yourself), there is a certain loss of innocence at any level of contact. However, if you are with someone you love, and all you want to do is make them happy and be happy with them, I think you could have an awful lot of very kinky sex together and still be pretty innocent.

What is your perception of virginity?
I tend to think of virginity as a state of never having been sexually/intimately penetrated by another person. It is very sweet to reserve that level of connection for someone you have a long-term connection to, but while the choices you make about who you consensually engage with may say something about your approach to life, I don't actually think that having sex changes you as a person all that much.

Do you consider yourself to be a virgin, based on your idea of virginity?
Oh, honey... goodness, not anymore. No.
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