Old 07-18-2018, 02:34 AM   #1
Adare2018
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Band-Aid Abandonment

Alright,
Life circumstances lead me to post this to get other thoughts that may alter my own.

We all carry around our own baggage our unique life experiences that color our perception of every event that happens thereafter.

I'm curious how many on the D side ( PYL) use emotional distance as a tool. How often and when do you feel it is useful to use walking away to make a point. I do not mean walking away to get your emotions in check so you can act not react. No, I mean " I'm not talking to you."

Conversely s types ( pyl), is this type of emotional separation effective? Is it ever a good motivator? Or is it innately damaging?



~~~~~~~~~~~~
I come from a background fraught with Abandonment, so I'm not at all used to this being used as a tool in a positive sense. It has the exact opposite effect than it used to on me. Instead of making me go "noooo, please don't go!" It makes me want to say " BYE!" I know that is counter intuitive to my nature, but I think that is my walls going up hard and fast because I've been maliciously abandoned one too many times.

So. ... talk logic to me. I'm listening.
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Old 07-18-2018, 09:53 AM   #2
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I think the silent treatment, being ignored or abandoned is damaging. There is no positive way to do it.

It is different to communicate that you need space to calm down, have time to yourself, recover/collect your thoughts, but to just ignore somebody or abandon them as punishment or a consequence, it is just wrong.
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Old 07-18-2018, 01:42 PM   #3
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Default Abandonment

I am aware of no situation where this works.

I agree that corner time can work, for a short time out situation, but breaking contact is never a solution.

Great question btw
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