Hearthstone Dungeon Run Dare part 4/6

[Fieldofbunnys]

I guess that was the right choice. Now on to your next encounter. It might get a bit tricky from here. I hope you are ready.

Blackseed: “Eventually people started to get worried. Nobody knew where Ragnaros was. A search party was sent to go look for Ragnaros. Ragnaros watched as people walked right by him as they called out his name. “I AM RIGHT HERE INSECTS!” He tried to scream. Nobody listened...”

Spoiler:

When encountered: He devolves you! All your clothes snap right off your body until you are just left in your underwear. You are a Murloc! Oh no!
Victory: Luckily, you take his staff and transform yourself back to normal. Unfortunately, your underwear really only survived. You find 600 gold pieces.
Defeat: He chains you up and locks you in a cage (interpret that as you will…). Sit in the corner for 12 minutes. When he returns, he devolves you again! You can feel your body changing. Tease your genitals with a vibrator (if you can) for 2 minutes. You devolve into a succubus of the opposite gender. He forces you to perform the evolution dance without any clothes on. Nobody knows what the evolution dance is so you will just have to improvise. Make sure to make the evolution dance sexy. After you do this dance for 5 minutes, he transforms you back into a Murloc as a cruel joke, and lets you leave the dungeon. He also slips you 50 gold pieces and his number for the sweet show. You are considered a Murloc in your next dungeon run and therefore may not wear clothing.
Quest: Let him evolve his minions 8 times.
Reward: 800 gold pieces.

Bristlesnarl: “My beasts will find you”

Spoiler:

When encountered: Unless you are Hunter, wear a blindfold, get on all fours and crawl to the farthest window and back without any clothes on. Be careful…
Victory: Nice, you find 600 gold pieces under his hairy groin. Go to the closest window and edge once with a blindfold on.
Defeat: Oh boy, his beasts found you. Put clothespins on your nipples. Without any clothes on, hump your favorite pillow until you edge three times, and then have a ruined orgasm by humping. Then you may take the clothespins off and leave.
Quest: Defeat him after reaching 10 mana crystals.
Reward: 500 gold pieces.

Candlebeard: “Fondle me Dippers”

Spoiler:

When encountered: Ye must charge as fast as ye can to the farthest door in yer home, touch it, and charge back. Ye must be without rags while charging.
Victory: Ye steal the pirates booty. Ye plunder 50 gold doubloons each worth 8 gold pieces.
Defeat: Ye must speak as a pirate during ye next Dungeon Run attempt. Ye must surrender yer loot to Candlebeard before walking the plank.
Quest: Let ye opponent play 11 minions.
Reward: 33 platinum doubloons each worth 16 gold pieces.

George and Karl: “We are not a knockoff of the Lost Vikings”

Spoiler:

When encountered: This encounter counts as two encounters. One for George, and one for Karl.
Victory: Gain 550 gold pieces.
Defeat: George and Karl tag team you by spanking you 6400 times. Half that for each encounter you have defeated this dungeon run.
Quest: Defeat George and Karl on the same turn.
Reward: 1200 gold pieces and 150 armour (You may spend 1 armour to avoid 1 spank).

Gnosh the Greatworm: “Wiggle Wiggle”

Spoiler:

When encountered: Put on some glasses. You are going to have to do some intense math for this battle. Keep your wits about you. Put clothespins on your nipples, and a few on your genitals (a few is either 1, 2, or 3). Each time he destroys one of YOUR minions with his hero power, twist the clothespins on your nipples 90 degrees and reattach them.
Victory: You find 670 gold pieces inside of this worm from all the unlucky adventures before you. Do not take any clothespins off of your body until the start of your next encounter.
Defeat: This worm devours you with one great bite. You slowly feel yourself being devoured by this worm. If you are able, tie yourself up so you are unable to move, speak, see, or hear. Do that for 20 minutes before being digested. After being digested, you notice that you have lost all of your gold and clothes and must stand in front of a window for 5 minutes. Don't remove any clothespins from your body until the start of your next next encounter, unless you decide not to do this dare again.
Quest: Play 2 poisonous minions.
Reward: 1500 gold pieces.

Gutmook: “You like trogs? I got trogs. I like trogs too. We could trade our trogs.”

Spoiler:

When encountered: Uh oh, If your deck has more spells than minions, gain 800 gold pieces. If your deck has more minions than spells, drink 6 cups of water. At the start of each of your turns, drink half a cup of water.
Victory: You start to feel a bit overloaded. Drink 6 cups of water. You gain 700 gold pieces.
Defeat: You start to feel completely overloaded as you wobble out of the Dungeon probably doing a dance with your legs crossed. You may not use the washroom until you win/lose your next dungeon run.
Quest: Get him to mill 5 cards from his hero power.
Reward: 1500 gold pieces.

Ixlid: “Life rots…”

Spoiler:

When encountered: Woah woah woah woah hold on there cowboy. Do not let what he summons touch you. Each time you destroy the minion that he summons with his hero power, edge twice.
Victory: Nicely done. This guy did not have too much. Gain 530 gold pieces. And put on 2 articles of clothing.
Defeat: What did I tell you? You die. You lose all your gold and treasures.
Quest: Have ten mana crystals at any point during this encounter.
Reward: 1500 gold pieces.

Lava-Filled Chamber: “Burn baby burn”

Spoiler:

When encountered: OH GEESE! Quick! Get your feet off the floor quickly! For the rest of this encounter, the floor is lava. If your feet touch the floor, you lose all your clothes and armour, you lose half of your collected gold pieces, you must spank yourself 100 times, you must have clothespins on your nipples and genitals, and you must consider this encounter a Defeat even if you are victorious. You may not wear shoes or socks during this encounter. At the end of your opponent's turn, roll 1 d12. Do the result of the dice rolled as follows.
1: Go and touch the farthest window in the house you are in.
2: Go and touch the farthest door in the house you are in.
3: Remove 1 article of clothing.
4: Spank yourself 10 times.
5: Give yourself a wedgie.
6: Write “Hearthstone is fun” somewhere on your body.
7: Remove 1 article of clothing.
8: Put 1 article of clothing on.
9: Put 1 article of clothing on.
10: Spank yourself 10 times.
11: Go and touch the closest door in the house you are in.
12: Go and touch the closest window in the house you are in.
Victory: You just barely avoid being burned to a crisp by extremely hot magma. You find 1000 gold pieces while rummaging through this chamber.
Defeat: That has got to burn. Luckily, lava is not like water. Even though it is extremely hot, you walk across it to escape this chamber. However, your feet are not looking too good. Poor extremely hot water from your sink onto your feet for just a few seconds. After you do this, realize that lava is hotter than that…
Quest: While maneuvering your way through the house you are in, do something that is worth style points(like doing a dance while hopping from furniture to furniture, doing a backflip, etc)
Reward: 500 gold pieces.

Tad: “...!!”

Spoiler:

When encountered: Oooooh, Tad. If you are considered a Murloc this Dungeon run, you may have an orgasm.
Victory: Too easy. 1800 gold pieces.
Defeat: Nice try… Stand in the corner completely naked with a blindfold and a gag with clothespins on your nipples and genitals for 30 minutes. Each time you check how much time there is left, add 10 minutes to the timer. You are also considered a Murloc during your next Dungeon Run.
Quest: Don't let Tad take any damage for 11 turns.
Reward: 1700 gold pieces, and Tad’s Poll. Tad's Poll is worth 3000 gold pieces.

Trapped Room: “Beep Boop Bop Bop Click Click”

Spoiler:

When encountered: Be very very careful…
During this encounter, whenever a secret is triggered, roll a d6. Do as follows.
(1): Gain 100 gold pieces.
(2): Remove 2 articles of clothing from yourself.
(3): Spank yourself 50 times. Use the best spanking tool available.
(3.5): Spank yourself 60 times. Use the best spanking tool available.
(4): Give yourself a wedgie for 10 seconds, and make sure to pull hard..
(5): Do 13 push-ups.
(6): Gain 120 gold pieces.
Victory: You make it out of this trapped room mostly unharmed. You pick up a few gold pieces on the way. You gain 1000 gold pieces.
Defeat: You tried to take candle it seems. Roll a d6 15 times as if 15 secrets triggered during this encounter.
Quest: Trigger 12 secrets.
Reward: 1000 gold pieces.

Voodoomaster Vex: “Me do voodoo too!”

Spoiler:

When encountered: At the end of each of your turns, you must shout “Me do voodoo too” twice. At the start of your turn, spank yourself 2 times for each other encounter you have defeated during this Dungeon Run.
Victory: Gain 890 gold pieces. You may put on 2 articles of clothing.
Defeat: He actually lets you go with no difficulty unless you are considered a Murloc this Dungeon Run. If you are considered a Murloc this Dungeon Run, he captures you and ties you to a table spread eagle. He puts 2 clothespins on your tongue and edges you 7 times, then he lets you go.
Quest: Kill him before reaching turn 10.
Reward: 1100 gold pieces.

Waxmancer Sturmi: “Hold still! Let wax cooooooool... you so pretty, pretty, pretty…”

Spoiler:

When encountered: Get ready to burn yourself with lots of wax. For every turn past turn 2 at the start of your turn, you must drip hot wax on yourself (You may simulate this by using large amounts of really hot water from your sink, because no take candle).
Victory: Phew, it sure is hot in here. Take off all your clothes while you choose your next treasure.
Defeat: Uh oh… Drip 18 drops of hot wax on yourself. (You may simulate this…)
Quest: Actually drip hot wax on yourself.
Reward: 2000 gold pieces.

Treasure Vault: “o.o”

Spoiler:

When encountered: Lucky you. You may cum if you want.
Victory: You may cum if you want.
Defeat: o,o’ um… okay then… Why did you concede in the Treasure Vault?! Did I hurt your feelings? I am sorry, I will never say it again… or are you just reading this for the fun of it? If that is the case then phew… For a second you had me worried. No living human would be stupid enough to concede to the Treasure Vault just to get nothing out of it... Right…?
Quest: FRIKEN GET AS MANY TREASURES AS YOU CAN!
Reward: AS MANY TREASURES AS YOU CAN! And 20000 gold pieces.

After that more dangerous encounter, you stumble upon yet another curse.
Choose your curse. If you choose the same curse, it becomes worse. If you choose the same same curse, it becomes Worser.

Curse of the Spiked Paddle: Double the amount of spanks given to you.
Worse: Curse of the Explosive Paddle: Triple the amount of spanks given to you.
Worser: Curse of the Plasma Paddle: Quadruple the amount of spanks given to you.

Curse of the Bottomless Mug: You must drink a cup of water at the start and end of each encounter.
Worse: Curse of the Bottomless Keg: You must drink a cup of water at the start and end of each encounter, and at the start of choosing your treasure.
Worser: Curse of the Bottomless Barrel: You must drink 2 cups of water at the start and end of each encounter, and at the start of choosing your treasure.

Curse of the Ripped Holes: The maximum amount of gold pieces you can carry is reduced by 20%.
Worse: Curse of the Pocketless Pants: The maximum amount of gold pieces you can carry is reduced by 35%.
Worser: Curse of the Pantsless Pants: The maximum amount of gold pieces you can carry is reduced by 50%. You also may not wear pants.

Curse of the Sexiest: If you are biologically a boy, you must act like a girl. If you are biologically a girl, you must act like a boy.
Worse: Curse of the Mean Sexiest: If you are biologically a boy, you must dress up and act like a girl. If you are biologically a girl, you must dress up and act like a boy.
Worser: Curse of the Sexy Sexiest: If you are biologically a boy, you must dress up and act like a girl, and edge like a girl would. If you are biologically a girl, you must dress up and act like a boy, and edge like a boy would.

Curse of the sexual preference: If you are…
Straight: Each time you encounter an opponent of the opposite gender, you must edge thrice.
Gay: Each time you encounter an opponent of your gender, you must edge thrice.
Bisexual: Each time you encounter an opponent with an identifiable gender, you must edge twice.
Pansexual: Each time you encounter an opponent, you must edge once.
Something I missed and you can call me out on it: Choose one of the above.
Worse: Curse of the Horny Sexual Preference: If you are…
Straight: Each time you encounter an opponent of the opposite gender, you must edge 4 times.
Gay: Each time you encounter an opponent of your gender, you must edge 4 times.
Bisexual: Each time you encounter an opponent with an identifiable gender, you must edge thrice.
Pansexual: Each time you encounter an opponent, you must edge twice.
Something I missed and you can call me out on it: Choose one of the above.
Worser: Curse of the Sexy Sexual Preference: If you are…
Straight: Each time you encounter an opponent of the opposite gender, you must edge 6 times.
Gay: Each time you encounter an opponent of your gender, you must edge 6 times.
Bisexual: Each time you encounter an opponent with an identifiable gender, you must edge 4 times.
Pansexual: Each time you encounter an opponent, you must edge thrice.
Something I missed and you can call me out on it: Choose two of the above.

Curse of the Ambidextrous: You must use your non-dominant hand to edge.
Worse: Curse of the Paws: You must use your non-dominant hand to edge, and you can not use your thumbs.
Worser: Curse of the Stubs: You can not use your hands to edge, and you can not use your hands to play the game.

How bold. You really don't look good. I will make the same offer again. Give me half of your gold, and I will give you 200 armour. Anywho, your next encounter is right around the corner.