[Non-Fiction] My life as a pet-girl

[Pet Ra]

On this exact day, five years ago I was put in a chastity belt for the very first time. Today my Master decided to revive this tradition and put me in chastity again. But this belt is now custom made (I will write about this later) but also I decided to start a new diary.

First I thought to put this in my denial diary like a new chapter, but then I realized that the denial diary (as the name indicates) was focusing strictly on my denial. But a lot has happened since then and this is not just a second chapter in the book of my denial. This will turn (at least I hope so) into a book about myself, my fantasies and my life as a pet. Of course this diary will include periods of denial too but they are now part of my life and not part of my training anymore.

Where do I start? Well, as I said, this is also about myself.

So who am I?

I am Rayna, born in 1997 and half Filipino, half Japanese but raised and living in Germany. Because my name sounds similar like the German name “Rainer” my friends called me “Ra”. I've been a pet since 2015, shortly after my 18th birthday, even I would say I was more “playing” a pet.

Spoiler:

Spoiler: In 2022 I finally lost my virginity, married my Master and had a collaring ceremony directly after the wedding which turned me oficially into Masters Pet. I will write about this later so we can focus on the big question:

How did I turn form a girl that, ten years ago, was afraid to masturbate, into the proud pet-girl that I am now?

To be honest, I don't know. Maybe I'm just “build” that way, or because I had to suppress my sexuality for so long (something like that can't be good), or any other reason. I don't really care about that anymore but maybe we will find out.

As I wrote in my blog my later Master, Mistress and me were friends since childhood whereby I was closer with Mistress. Which is normal I guess since we are in same age (Mistress is two months younger than me) while Master is four years older than me. But we went to the same school together, so we met at the bus stop every morning. When Mistress and me were 14, he was 18 (obviously), got his drivers license, his own car and took us to school every morning - no more waiting at the bus stop. I got a major crush on him because that was soo cool.

Even after he graduated we stayed in touch yet I was surprised as he asked me if I could take care of his “flat” for about six months. That was in 2015, shortly before my 18th birthday.
He got a job opportunity he couldn't refuse, but needed someone who could take proper care about his stuff. Because I still had a crush on him I agreed.

As I said in my blog, “flat” is clearly an understatement because it's a freaking penthouse. But before you get too excited, it's not a billionaires mansion on top of a skyscraper like in the movies and Master is no “Christian Gray” (thank god). Here in Germany most of this penthouses are just like regular houses on top of a higher building. In this case a ten-story condo in which now mostly old people live that bought their condos somewhere in the 80s.

Well, the first weeks I was just doing as told. I went there every two or three days, watered the plants, cleaned a bit and left. It was a “strangers” living space after all. But then I realized that I could have some “me time” there and went almost daily. So I got quite comfortable being there and started to watch a movie on the big TV or browse the internet without being disturbed – you know stuff like this.

One day I realized that I could explore my sexuality without being afraid of getting caught. It hit me like a ton of bricks.
Of course I had touched myself before, Mistress was sexually active for more than a year already and told me about how good it felt. But I have a very strict mother and she didn't allow me to lock my door, not even the bathroom door had a key. I once tried to trim my pubes a bit, because all the other girls in my gym classes were either clean shaven or neatly trimmed when she caught me. She made such a scene that I had never tried again. So, masturbating? If I wanted to touch myself I had to do it late at night, under my blankets and still kept an eye to my door. And I had to cover my mouth because I get quite vocal

Exploring my body

As I said, I realized that I could explore my sexuality freely. And I did extensively
But the urge to know how it felt to be penetrated grew every day. The problem was that I had a septate hymen and when I was 15 a tampon got stuck. It was painful, messy and I didn't want to feel that again. In porn I had seen that it must be nice to take it in the rear too. So I bought a carrot and gave it a try. Spoiler: I had no experience, used no lube and it hurt like hell
Then it came to my mind that my fingers were always wet when I played with my vagina, so maybe... Oh girl, what a difference. It was fantastic.
So yes, I lost my anal virginity to a carrot

Short time later I ordered my very first toy, a slim pink dildo and some lube.
But it was unthinkable for me to use my data. What if my mother would open the package? So I used the name “Petra” (common name in Germany), his surname and his address. And soon I ordered a slightly bigger one. And then some more. I was in bliss and started to experiment a bit. Some days I just went there after school for a quick orgasm before going home and went back in the afternoon and gave myself another one in the evening. Some afternoons I played for hours just to have one orgasm late in the evening.

I didn't do my chores or cared about anything else except my pleasure. I even skipped classes saying I didn't feel well because this way I had more time to play and wasn't bothered by my friend either. More than a month later I realized how messy everything in the penthouse became. Everything was covered in dust, the floor was a mess, several plants withered and the living room simply disgusting. What would my friend say if he find out that I did here? Would he be mad? Would he, I don't know, punish me by putting me over his knee and spank me? Yes, that's what I deserved, a good old-fashioned spanking.
I grabbed a wooden spatula, pulled down my jeans and spanked my ass. When I was finished I noticed the damp spot in my panties and how hard my nipples got. Was I aroused? What kind of perverted girl gets aroused by beating herself? But I started to clean.
The kitchen was easy, I hadn't used it but of course it was dusty and used glasses stood everywhere, but the dishwasher took care of it. After I was done with it I thought about “rewarding” myself but then told myself that I don't deserve this kind of reward until everything was clean again. It took me a week, the living room alone two afternoons, and every time before I started cleaning I stood in the hallway and spanked my ass with the spatula. Lord help me was I horny after five days, I even cleaned in nothing than my panties, showing the moist stain in them like some kind of trophy how naughty I was. The orgasm after cleaning everything was fantastic and my plays turned more and more into being subjected.

[Pet Ra]

Getting a Master

Even after my friend came back from his trip I kept the key for his penthouse because he had to go on another trip for a week or two regularly. If the time between his trips took too long I even sneaked into his home in the afternoon, knowing that he won't come back until the evening. Because it was unthinkable to hide my toys at my place I left them there, well hidden deep under the sofa. Who cleans deep underneath the sofa anyway?

Spoiler:

He does. But he didn't say anything.

Till that one faithful day when he came back from work early.
I stood in the shower, my panties as a gag in my mouth, clothes pegs on my nipples and impaling my ass on a suction cup dildo while rubbing my snatch furiously. No, he didn't ask if he could join. The whole situation was maximum uncomfortable, for both of us.

He told me that he would understand if I wanted to go, but if I wanted to talk he would be waiting in the living room. Being the decent human being he is he even closed the door so I don't had to look at him if I decided to sneak out. But I wanted to talk, the least I owed him an apology for defiling his home, so I knocked on the door. First it was really embarrassing, I mean this guy had just caught me in the act and I cried a bit. But he was very understanding and before I realized it got so late that my mother got worried. He even walked me home and apologized to my mother for keeping me for so long. He managed that she wasn't even mad
Later he texted me and asked for a date. I agreed without hesitation.

We almost met daily and had some regular dates, but of course we talked about my decent collection of toys and my fantasies. I was ashamed and very shy, I don't wanted to give him the impression that I'm a pervert. But he didn't give up, knowing I was hiding something. He didn't force but encouraged me to speak freely and I realized that if I let it happen every dirty fantasy I ever had may come true, but he wouldn't take things to far.
Two weeks later we had our first time and it was wonderful, despite the fact that he couldn't penetrate me vaginally because of my stupid septate hymen. But we did some heavy petting instead, so I “could get accommodated to his touch” and he made me feel very special.
It was not just the beginning of our relationship, it was also the start of making my fantasy of being subjected true.
And I'm an ambicious learner.

When I told him that I cleaned here in just my panties and that I spanked myself before starting to clean he wanted to see that. I obeyed and I could see that he enjoyed every second of it. The next weeks he slowly made me wear less clothes in the penthouse. From wearing normal clothes to wearing underwear to just panties to nothing at all. Of course I was embarrassed but also horny as hell and we had lots of sex – just anal sex, but I know he didn't mind

But because penetrating this hole can get messy sometimes he introduced me into enemas.
The first time receiving one felt weird and degrading, but he was so gentle and rubbed my pussy while filling my butt that it was a sensual experience.
Of course when I had to release the enema I felt dirty and not very sexy at all. Nevertheless I started to enjoy them.
And it felt much better not to worry about some nasty stuff.

One day I once again thought about shaving or at least trimming my pubic hair. I'm a big girl, I have a boyfriend, to hell with what my mother thinks about it. But I wanted his opinion, knowing how much he loves my fur. I even gave the argument that slaves are clean shaven so their genitals are always visible. He looked at me, grinned and told me that I'm not a slave, that I'm less than that, I'm his Pet, an animal. And animals have fur. He gently stroked me down there before pushing me down to all fours. It was the first time he called me that way. A pet. It was so humiliating. So perfect. Of course I've had read about “pet-girls” before, it was on tumblr (back in the days when there was still porn) and that time I was shocked because it sounded so weird. And never I would have guessed that one day I would become one too. I loved it.

We also explored some other kinks like forced edging and orgasm denial. Because I should always be horny but also as a good pet I shouldn't cum without permission. I had played with my self for hours before, but bringing myself close to orgasm, let it fade away and repeat for days? That was really something else. He always made me do this when he was on a business trip. My BFF and later Mistress noticed that after ten days I started to get bratty ad suggested that I should masturbate to quench the urge. Well, she didn't know that I did that every day, just without the sweet release at the end. When Master came back, two weeks of daily edging and denial finally paid off, the orgasms were marvelous. Mistress smirked every time when we met in the morning and told me that it looks like I got a good dicking

Of course I also got denied when Master was not on a business trip and he loved to watch me edge. But he noticed that as I got more horny I also got more brave to express my kinks. After several days “on the edge” I confessed that I would like to try some pee-play. I mean, I had peed in the shower, squatting like... well, like the dog I am, but I wanted to experience how it feels to get peed on. I was not sure how Master would react but he always said that he wanted to help me explore my kinks. He was surprised but agreed. It was humiliating, but also very kinky to feel the warm urine hitting my body.

I kinda like it but not in a way that I would call it a reward. It was more suiting for a punishment.
Like, when a spanking was not enough

[Pet Ra]

Getting a Mistress

In 2016 I made a mistake. It wasn't a huge one, but one with huge impact.
I failed an edging task and came without permission. Being a good pet I took a photo of my dripping wet pussy and sent it to Master that his naughty pet came without his permission and needs to be taught a lesson. The problem was: I didn't send it to Master but to my best friend
She came over almost immediately, but didn't tell me why and we had a nice afternoon. Later when Master came home we cooked together and during dinner we drank some wine. I was quite tipsy as my friend bend over to me and put her hand on my belly and let it wander deeper. Then she asked when we start to teach this naughty pet a lesson. She grinned from ear to ear, Master almost spit out his drink and looked at us flabbergasted while I froze in shock. My friend laughed, showed us the picture and asked again.
Master poured us some more wine, grinned and said that he clearly won't mind but the decision was ours. My friend really looked happy and I had to admit that I was curious too. So we talked about it first, which was kinda awkward because we knew that this would take our friendship to a completely new level. Also we talked about my relationship and my friend was surprised that my boyfriend was also my Master but even more when she found out that I was still a virgin. I was a bit ashamed as she noticed this “blemish” (and even a bit more when Master told her about my “preferences”) but we were eager to make each other feel comfortable. It still felt strange but I think if we were sober it wouldn't had happened at all.
Somewhere I read that at one point in her life a woman has to find out which kind of “bi” she is; -polar, -sexual or -tch. Well, we clearly found out what kind of “bi” my friend and I am

But just because we shared a sexual adventure didn't turn my friend into my Mistress.
Seeing each other the next morning felt a bit strange. I thinks it's a normal feeling seeing someone after the first time having sex together and I would say the feeling was mutual. I mean, we had licked each others genitals and she watched me climaxing hard (I even asked for permission) while getting my butt fucked and creampied.
During the next weeks we met daily, not for sex but some really long talks, like Master and I did before. He told me that he noticed I were way more confident about my fantasies than I was little over a year ago. My friend was really interested and the more she learned about our relationship and my “preferences” she grew eager to take part in my training.
We talked about it and both encouraged me not to rush it but to think what I wanted. So I did.

I could give up the pet-play and it would have been okay.
I could decide that I just want my Master and have no need for a Mistress.
Or I could just dive in, head first, and see what will happen.

I chose the latter, obviously. I will never forget the look on her face when she came over for dinner and I just bowed to her and said “Good evening, Mistress”. It was pure bliss.
It was a bit strange that my BFF was now my Mistress and at first she was more like supervising me. That I did my tasks or made my homework, later she had to make sure that I don't touch myself, because I was not allowed to cum. Stuff like that.
She began to put some effort in it to make it more embarrassing for me. Well, she had to make sure that I won't touch myself? So she made sure I won't even have the chance to touch myself. First she just watched me using the toilet at home, then at school as well, and when I used the toilet I had to sit with my legs spread, pull my shirt up and my bra down, so she could check if I my nipples were hard.
One evening Master came home and while we were talking about our day he asked Mistress if it would be okay if I were naked. He didn't ask me, he asked her. She knew that I had to be naked in my Masters presence, so it was okay for her. And from now I had to be naked in her presence as well.
Even she had seen my sensitive bits an hour ago I felt embarrassed, but I obeyed. But the way they looked at me and the night after made it worth it
The next day, when we came from school, she stopped me in the vestibule and told me to get naked. I looked at her for a moment dumbfounded but then started to undress.

[My_pussy_is_public]

Is this diary over?

[Thifr]

I really hope it's not over...

[Pet Ra]

Sorry, I had a bad case of writer's blog. The next chapter is almost finished

[Pet Ra]

Taming the pet

Sharing and confessing your kinks and taboos can be terrifying. Not just to other people but to yourself as well and the fear of rejection or judgement can cause us to hide ourself and miss out on so much. I'm so happy that I found Master and Mistress, that I can truly trust them and that they understand me. They not only accept this side of me but also support and embrace me in all what I am and desire to become.

Nevertheless at first it felt really weird to come home, undress in front of Mistress and then sit naked at the table doing our homework or cooking with her. While my "friend" was fully clothed I had to wear nothing but an apron.
But we got used to it pretty quick. I mean, after PE classes we had seen each other nude already and it was normal for me to be naked in front of my Master. Since she is my Mistress now, it was her right to keep me naked as well.
And it was fun doing my tasks while getting “groped” from my owners whenever they wanted, yet I was ashamed because I got so clearly aroused that I could neither hide nor deny how much I like it.

Also I got more rules at home, too.
As I had to ask for permission to cum already, now I had to ask also if I wanted to use the toilet and when coming home I had to undress in the vestibule before entering the penthouse without being told to do so.
We were still figuring out where my kinks laid and some times I was at Mistress' mercy, mostly when Master went on a business trip.
In public and at school the friendship between Mistress and I had not changed, but at home she became someone else. I wouldn't say she went on a power trip but you could see how much she enjoy being in charge. But she didn't overdo it. Well, let's say not too much.

You should know that when it comes to new stuff both are very different:
Master is curious but careful and he would rather hear that he can step it up a notch than to overdo it.
Mistress would rather apologize afterwards than to hear a “No”. But she got much better over time. I would say Master guided her to become a good Mistress, like he trained me to become a good pet.

During the time Mistress was in charge, I was essentially her slave rather than a pet. I wouldn't say it was perfect, but still special and also helped me to make my decision – I don't wanted do be a slave. A slave still have some privileges like using a toilet, sleeping in a bed or some of them could even wear some clothes. I craved to be a pet, with all consequences.

So I got denied to use the toilet when I had to pee. Either I had to squat in the shower or, more often, they led me into the roof garden so I had to pee in the drain. When the weather was bad I hat to kneel in the living room and pee in a bucked while my friends watched. They also made me bark instead of talking when I wanted something and then used simple "yes"- or "no"-questions. But it was more hilarious and complicated, so we went back to regular talking soon.

They also made sure that I got more comfortable being collard and leashed.
It was so humiliating yet intoxicating having my human side slowly stripped away and being treated like an animal. Especially doing my business like one. As I got more and more used being collared and over the time the “collar and leash law” got more and more strict. First I had worn it only during the day and inside the penthouse. Then I had to wear it at night as well, which was quite uncomfortable at first – I had the feeling that I would strangle myself. Later I had to be collared outside as well and I was really happy that it was winter because I could hide it under a scarf or turtle-neck sweater. Same for the leash, it went from the collar through the sleeve. So it looked like we were holding hands while in reality I was led. But I guess it was also Masters intention do do this during winter so I could get used to the feeling and when spring arrived I was completely used to it.
We also had some walks in the woods while I was openly leashed – in Germany it's the law that dogs has to be led on a leash in the forest. Nevertheless was I really nervous when I went outside the first time with my collar clearly visible and with the leash it was slightly worse. But I realized nobody really noticed or cared, maybe they thought it was kinda a “fashion statement”.
Now I'm permanent collared and I would say I need it, because otherwise I feel really uncomfortable. I mean, I'm kept nude in the penthouse, but without my collar I'm even more than naked. I guess “exposed” is a fitting description because I feel like without this visible sign that I'm owned anybody could just “claim” me.

Of course there is an exception from the “collar and leash”-protocol.
When we [Master and I] go to a business party I'm always wearing a nice dress and I can't wear a dog collar with it, of course. For these events I have to wear a substitute collar in form of a choker that fits my dress. Otherwise it would collide with my rule number 37.

After they made sure that I was tamed / get used to be kept and see myself as a pet they guided me deeper into my kinks.

[Thifr]

I really love reading your stories. I had discovered you with your first AMA a few months ago, and reading your life's experiences made me always horny.
I think you're really lucky to have found the good persons on this planet to live with them your life in the kinky way.
I can't wait to read the next parts 😉
And thanks for sharing!

[CombedThunderclap]

This story is so good... hope new chapters are added, sooner or later...

[Pet Ra]

Training the pet

Sorry for the delay, I tend to overthink sometimes and was was not very satisfied with the next chapter until now.

So, after I got tamed it was time to get trained. During the following months I went deeper into pet-play and we began working on my kinks.
Well, I wouldn't say that anal is kinky - for me it was simply the only way to be penetrated. But like many people that enjoy anal I got interested in stretching my butthole. I had seen plenty of videos about girls taking stuff in their butt and some of the toys were massive, but I didn't have the intention to stretch myself to the absolute maximum. I just wanted to make it a bit more comfortable and easier for Master to enter me. For that I had to buy bigger toys and Master took this as an opportunity to make me more confident and maybe a bit more shameless. So I wasn't allowed to order my toys at the internet anymore. I had to go to an erotic store and order them by myself.
I was really ashamed as the staff asked for my ID because I didn't look like I was 18 but also I was surprised how clean everything is and how friendly and open minded the staff is – I had been in supermarkets that were not even half that nice. I became a regular customer which also has it perks, so I get a nice discount or having a good chat with the clerks here when some new stuff comes out. But sometimes I wondered what they are thinking of me because the anal toys I bought got bigger every time and almost fortnightly I buy new lube.

As I said, I wanted to know how it would feel to have my butthole stretched, but if you look at anal porn you will notice that it seems to be very clean and not messy at all. Especially if they show the gaping asshole you will hardly find any traces of poop. The secret is a good preparation – means, enemas and a healthy diet.
Well, I'm eating healthy and I was already used to get small enemas once in a while, but since I wanted to stretch my butthole and also wanted to insert toys that go deeper I had to do them more often and get bigger ones. I don't just wanted to “flush” the end of my butt, I had to get some stuff out. The problem was that I'm very careful when it comes to stuff that could be harmful and I didn't want to mess with my gut microbiota.
So I did some research. Internet, medical books and magazines – you name it, I've read it. As long as you don't overdo it and are careful it's relative safe. I now have regular enemas and don't face any difficulties, but I still “listen” to my gut – if I don't feel well I'm not doing it.
I bought an enema kit at my “favourite erotic store” but we only used it two times before we decided to use a bowl and an enemas syringe. It was simply to impersonal to fill the enema bag, put the nozzle in my butt and wait till I'm filled. The syringe is so much more personal.
The way I have to lay on the floor and lift my ass so Master can push the tip in my butt and slowly push the water in me while Mistress sits next to me and prepares the next syringe. The way Master puts his finger on my anus to help me keep the water in until he gives me the next syringe. Sharing this intimate moment with these people I love so much is such a nice experience.

Of course what goes in has to come out at one point. Generally after 20 to 30 minutes, it depends on how much I got filled, mostly 1000ml to 1250ml – in rare cases I got 2000ml which is rather uncomfortable and take a while until everything is back out.
And the part where everything comes out is disgusting. I really don't like it and am happy that I can release it into the toilet and don't have to do like a dog. I absolutely understand why I have to do it, but that doesn't mean that I have to like it. I often get another filling to be flushed and that is slightly better.
But the nice long anal-play session makes up for it all every time.
I absolutely love having my ass toyed, way more than my cunt. I don't really like the way my cunt looks, it's so dark and plump that it's almost primitive and I'm happy to keep it covered in fur.

Also we did some race-play. First it was strange but Mistress absolutely love calling me slurs which were mostly aimed at my ethnicity and how superior she was because of this. You know, most south-east asian crave white skin and having my “racial flaws” like my darker skin, dark brown labia and nipples or my “physical flaws” like my tiny tits pointed out really helps me getting my juices flowing. But we know how she means it and I want to clarify that we absolutely condemn racism.
Master on the other hand was not a big fan of race-play in the beginning, I guess most Germans have problems with calling someone inferior because of their race. He also uses some sayings too now, but he mostly calls me names about my behaviour or when he talks with Mistress about me. He never uses my name and when the three of us are alone he never had called me his girlfriend or wife even once. Then I'm “the animal”, “his pet” or “bitch” (like in female dog). I love it.

One day Mistress was quite horny and asked if I would bring her to orgasm. I refused because I didn't want to cheat on Master since he was not present. Of course most men wouldn't mind this situation, but still it wouldn't be right having sex without his notice.
She accepted but told me that one day she will have sex with him and make me watch, like she had to watch me getting my cute butt pumped full of sperm. Then she made me stand in a corner while she masturbated. While listening to her moans I closed my eyes and thought about Master and Mistress having sex, I couldn't help it. I imagined his hard shaft plunging into her clean, pink pussy and her round breasts bouncing every stroke while rubbing my hairy, dark brown cunt and squeezing my tiny tits. I thought about his thick sperm dripping out of her cute pussy and came so unbelievably hard. I guess at this moment the fantasy of watching my boyfriend fucking my BFF in front of me burned into my mind.

Of course I wasn't allowed to cum without the permission of my Master and of course I had to be punished for it. Mistress knew that and ordered me to slap my pussy hard. But still it was insufficient because it was not humiliating enough, I had to get peed on.
When Master came home I told him that I had an orgasm (but not about the fantasy that caused it) and begged him to pee on me. Without saying a word he led me into the shower, made me squat and peed on me. Mistress was fascinated and asked if she could do it too. Master allowed it but told her to stay away from my face, so she pissed all over my back. She admitted that she has a huge pee-fetish but only when on the giving end.

After I had a shower we talked about the day in general and especially about me pleasuring Master or Mistress. We agreed that both could “use” me for their pleasure, but couldn't force it of course. With a grin Master told me that I owe one to Mistress and I think I had never seeing anyone undress more quicker than her. Well, afterwards she told my that I wasn't that bad, but could use way more practice. Then she watched me sucking Masters cock and noticed that I couldn't fit it all in because I started to gag when he reached a certain spot. Master never complained but Mistress told me that I could do better and that she will turn me into an eager cock-sucking whore.

And she put great effort in this. Mistress made me suck bananas, carrots and Masters cock, of course. But I don't just have to suck him off. I had to worship Masters cock properly (and Mistress pussy as well) and I made quite progress

One day while I was licking Mistress while Master watched us. He was stroking his cock when she said that she need something inside, not a dildo or my fingers - she needed the real thing.
She looked me straight in the eyes and asked if it was okay if she would “borrow” Masters penis, because “he deserve to stick his thing in a pussy and not always fucking an ass”. Master told me that it was my decision.
I was not really sure about it, but then I thought about the fantasy I had while standing in the corner and nod slowly but told them that I wanted to watch. Mistress told me to make Masters cock slippery, then guided him inside of her and told me to come closer so I could see what the pussy of a real woman looks since I had a virgin-pet-pussy that has to hide under the thick fur between my legs. I watched in awe. I didn't even touch myself, I just watched how my boyfriend rutted my BFF. It was even better than in my imagination and the cuckette inside of me had the time of her life.

Afterwards Master and Mistress looked at each other and you could see how their mind cleared, to say that they looked ashamed would be an understatement. So we talked about what just had happened and it was quite funny to see them explaining how it happened till I couldn't handle it anymore. I started to giggle and then laughed. Master was very confused and told me that I seem rather happy than upset. I nod and told them how much I enjoyed watching them and that I want to repeat it soon. You could see that they were relieved that I liked it.
We also talked about what Mistress said about me being not a “real woman” and I admitted that it was great. I really enjoy being humiliated and degraded.

I think from that moment it was Mistress goal to make sure that I never forget how inferior I am to her and sometimes she got slightly carried away. We always had some talks after trying something new, but sometime she so got so rough that Master had to tell her to slow down. One or two times he send me out so he could talk with her. He never scolded her in front of me, she's my Mistress and I'm their pet, but afterwards we talked about what was not okay and I got an apology. That's what I love about them, just because they are my doms doesn't mean that they can't admit some mistakes.

Master and Mistress also started to have sex more often to a regular basis. But always with my agreement and while I was watching. I love seeing the people I love having such a good time.
Every time I had to “prepare” her for sex and was shivering while Mistress taunted me. She don't wanted to “steal” my man, I had to give him to her as a present. Every time I watched in awe as her smooth pink pussy was slipping up and down on Masters cock while I had to kneel on the floor holding my dark hairy cunt open so my juices could drip freely out of my virgin-pet-pussy. I desired Masters cock so much but my stupid septate hymen was like a build in chastity belt.

Of course Master tried to deflower me on the usual way several times – it was a bitter disappointment. Every. Single. Time.
My hymen was so sturdy that it was very painful, for both of us. Master said it felt like my pussy tried to cut his dick in half.
I had talked about this issue with my gynaecologist and she recommended a hymenectomy, a surgery in which the hymen is removed. Master, Mistress and I talked about it and both told me that they won't force me but would respect whatever decision I made.
Of course I craved to feel the sensation of my most intimate place being spread open by his cock, having my womb flooded with his semen and becoming a “real” woman – becoming “his”. But also I was afraid to take something away form Mistress, so decided not to do it.

After several weeks we tried to “separate” me while Master and Mistress were having sex. But it was not really enjoyable for us. Even Mistress acknowledged that it was not the same when I'm not sitting next to the bed and watching her with hungry puppy-eyes and an even hungrier cunt, also she missed being licked clean afterwards. Much later we gave it another try and it got much better over time.

Of course my training didn't finish just it became natural to behave like a pet at home or watching my owners having sex in front of me. I guess the training is never really done and even now after many years as their pet I still have to repeat some training on a regular basis.
So at one point Master decided that I had to get more comfortable to be naked in some more public places as well.

First we simply drove around daily during the late evening while my dress was pulled down. It was okay because I still had my bra on and if someone had noticed it would have looked like I was wearing a bikini. After a while I just sat there in my underwear which was later removed as well and now I'm absolutely comfortable sitting naked in Masters car when we go somewhere. But now I always have to sit in the back and the windows are tinted so the risk isn't that high. But it still gets my juices flowing, so I had to sit on a towel so I won't stain the leather seats of his Mercedes.

After I got comfortable being naked in hidden-public Master decided that I had to cum in a more public space.
One night we drove to the woods in which we had stumbled upon a small concealed clearing during one of our previous visits. At the edge of the clearing I undressed and crawled to the middle so I sat in the bright light of the full moon. Giving it was in the night it was unlikely that someone would come across, but it was also in the middle of summer so maybe there could be some people decided to take a late walk. It was absolutely thrilling but at the same time I felt really earthbound and a bit like a primitive savage being naked in the “wilderness”. But of course I didn't forget why I was brought there – I had to masturbate until orgasm, the first time outside of the completely save place of my home. When I looked around I couldn't see neither Master nor Mistress, it felt like I was entirely alone. A young woman, naked in the forest, alone and vulnerable. My nipples were so hard that it almost hurt so I started playing with them before I reached down to my completely soaked cunt. Then I lubed my fingers and start fingering my butt hole. It was magical rubbing my hairy pussy while fucking my ass in the woods and I had a wonderful orgasm.
I was so high on endorphins that I walked back to the car naked, openly collared and leashed.

We still go to this clearing on a regular basis, sometimes just to do something romantic but mostly doing some humiliating stuff.

Later Master insisted that I had to become more comfortable being naked in public. Not just hidden but with other people around.
So during our summer holidays we went to a nude beach – for two whole weeks. You know, being naked in public isn't forbidden in Germany, as long as you don't do it with sexual intentions. So, yes my adventures in the woods could entail a fine, but also nobody would care if you are naked at a beach and on nude beaches you must be naked. They are not “clothing-optional”, they are “no clothing allowed”.
So I had to be naked in public with other naked people around (Master and Mistress as well) and it felt kinda awkward at first. I noticed that I was the only young woman with completely untrimmed pubic hair and had the feeling that many people looked at me because of that. Mistress taunted me that they are not just looking at my huge bush but also checking the exotic import, making me more embarrassed. First I tried to cover my fur with my hands but soon I realized that I made it even more obvious that way. Also Master scolded me for hiding the visible mark of my ownership.

I told him that I feel embarrassed because of my body but he insisted that it was part of my training. But then he made it kinda playful. We were swimming in the sea, playing in the shallow water or walking at the beach and after a while I got really used to being naked with strangers around. I mean, everybody was naked and nobody was openly gawping at me or giving any inappropriate comment, they all just enjoyed a nice warm day at the beach. And so did I. Of course I didn't wear my collar at the beach so nobody noticed that I was an owned pet and this was part of my training.
I realized that Masters decision was right. Even I was extremely nervous at first it really helped me getting more comfortable with being naked in public and with myself in general.

Especially I was finally able to make peace with my small breasts. I always had been envious about Mistress because at the age of 12 she already had bigger breast than I have now. And during puberty she developed really nice round D-cups, while I can't even fill an A-Cup completely. Of course as my Mistress she always made fun of me for that and still does, but since that holiday it is okay for me. Of course it's humiliating but I don't feel “insulted” anymore. Instead, now it kinda turns me on when she points out how underdeveloped I am and in my opinion it's her god given right as a big-breasted women to humiliate flat-chested girls like me. So, after we came home I put all my bras in a box (I haven't even worn them during the holiday) and wrote the date when I had worn a bra for the last time on it. It was June 16th 2019. Master always says that if you don't use something for more than a year you don't need it and should get rid of it. So about 14 months later I donated them and haven't worn a bra since then.
And to be honest, I absolutely don't miss them.
Of course it's noticeable when I wear a t-shirt and my nipples are hard, if it's a thinner white one you can even notice my dark brown areola - but no man have ever complained about that.

Later I donated my panties and every piece of clothes that I bought myself.
It's not that they don't fit or I wasn't wearing them any more, I had decided that I wanted to be Masters property to 100% and as such I can't / don't want to own anything. Of course we talked about it before – it consensual ownership-play after all.
I also handed him my bank cards so I won't be tempted to buy something, also it made me feel even more owned. Of course the bank account is still in my name an the money on it as well, but knowing that every piece of clothes, every toy and even the food is not mine really helps me to feel owned. After that day it felt more then just a game. Since that day I'm really Masters property.
My life haven't changed much, but knowing that I absolutely don't own anything feels really liberating.

[CombedThunderclap]

You don’t have to be sorry. If waiting more means having long, thoughtful, intimate and hot entries like this to read, than I’m more than happy to wait!

Thanks for sharing your life with us, Rayna

[Pet Ra]

Edging, denial and forced orgasms

I already had experienced denial before I met Master, yet it was completely involuntary. Without the chance to freely explore my body I only could masturbate shyly in the evening, but several times I had to stop because someone was walking down the hallway. The closer I was to orgasm the more frustrating it was to feel this. And later I did it as a punishment for not keeping the penthouse tidy.
But with Master it was something different, with him I found out how good it feels to be denied.

Denial was such a huge part during my taming as well as during my training that it deserves an extra chapter because without denial I wouldn't be trained or even tamed.

I always found it difficult to express my fantasies because I was afraid what other people, especially my friends would think about me. But when I'm horny I'm way more brave to confess and even more eager to explore my kinks. Master often played with me the whole day and only let me cum when I confessed him a fantasy of mine. It was his way to interrogate me and it was very effective.
But after I got deeper into my kinks more often he would tease and edge me mercilessly just to send me home with an dripping, aching pussy. He knew how risky it was because my panties would get telltale stains and I had to put toilet paper into them to prevent that. When Master was on a business trip it became even worse. I had to do it by myself and when he called me in the evening he asked how often I edged myself. First I was embarrassed when I had to tell him how often I rubbed my pussy and then had to do it during the call. Later he even asked for a picture prove. I was shy but also happy that he wanted to see my (in my opinion) disgusting wet cunt.
I was also proud that I had become much more brave and that I obeyed his command so well, even I thought about just sneaking in an orgasm several times. Of course I didn't, but sometimes I asked myself why I'm doing it. Because the orgasm in the end will feel fantastic? Maybe.
Or maybe because I want to be a good girl / pet and good girls / pets don't cum without permission / at all? That is not the whole answer either.
The truth is: I realized how much I love having this permanent burning desire in my lower region.
Maybe I'm just build different. Maybe I have something that most other girls will never understand and never appreciate. They will never understand the dull, sweet, throbbing ache of a denied pussy. For them, wetness is something fleeting, that comes and goes during the arousal of sex. For me, it's a constant reminder of who I am. Or maybe what I became?

But also I love what denial can reduce me to. You didn't need ropes or whips. After a while I was nothing more than a willing, mindless cunt humping on anything and begging for an orgasm. And after I begged Mistress once to let me hump her shin, she said that it became very hard for her to ever have a serious conversation with me again

Don't get me wrong, I love having orgasms. But after cumming I always feel quite empty - and now cumming without permission just feels bad.
I always enjoyed seeing the people I love having fun and now I love giving my owners the pleasure that I'm denied. Simply because I believe that their orgasms are much more valuable than mine and they deserve them. It's my way to pay them for making my dream of being a pet coming true.

But as I said before, after a while without orgasm I tended to get bratty. Annoyingly bratty.
It took me some time to break this habit and even still I still get frustrated after a while. But I don't annoy my owners anymore. Yes, you can see that I'm “in heat” after several days because my slit swells and starts leaking a bit. But I am good pet now and will endure it without behaving like a brat.
So, how do my owners manage to “remove” the bratty behaviour?

One faithful day in 2018 I got sick after ten days – that's the time I normally became bratty.
And after that I had overcome the point that this burning inside me felt pestiferous. Instead I kinda enjoyed it. I had already registered to getDare at this point so I started a poll in which I asked if I should kept in denial. The result was crystal clear and Master ordered a chastity belt for me. I won't write everything about my denial down again (because it's all in my denial diary) and even it didn't ended as I expected it helped me a lot to embrace my kinks. Also I learned so much about myself, the people I love (my owners) and that I don't need to cum.

So, yes I'm absolutely into chastity and now I even have a custom made chastity belt.
I will write more about that later.

After the humiliating experience of being caught by my mother in a chastity belt I took a long break and since I like orgasm control so much Master kept controlling my orgasms. Not by putting me in denial again but by “forcing” me to make myself orgasm every day. He chose time and place where I had to rub myself till I came. It could be anywhere in the penthouse or the roof garden or even the staircase.

The first one after the long denial felt like shit, but soon they felt good again and over the months I've had lots of orgasms.
Some with a long build-up, some with 30 seconds of the wand on my clit.
I've had great orgasms but I've also had to masturbate even when I wasn't in the mood. But I did it, just because I was told that I have to orgasm and even that I knew the ones wouldn't be really good. Also it took me ages to cum. So after a while I started to crave the denial again.
I always had a hard time getting started after a break, but I knew it would be better to not let me cum again. So Master made me edge instead of cumming. It was perfect.
You know, I love to edge and can't get enough of it.
It feels wonderful to get so close that my cunt starts to pulsate and then stop immediately. My clit gets so sensitive that its almost hurts and the frustration rushes through my body. After several days I have the feeling like I'm always close but still the desperation keeps building up.
If I can choose a porn during that time I always end in watching videos in which the girls have several orgasms, I can't help it. It gives me the feeling that every girl in the world can cum except me. Of course Mistress taunts me then by giving me the order to make her or just watch her while she makes herself cum. Oh, I know the satisfaction of an orgasm would be feel wonderful. But being an obedient pet just feels better.
Also Master owns me and he owns my orgasms.

[Pet Ra]

Taking a second break after breaking a seal

I'm ashamed of the next part but it's part of my life and I promised that this diary is about myself.

During my training I also played with some kinks I would consider a dislike or even a limit. But I wanted to improve myself and become a better pet by doing such stuff. Because if I never had tried something new I would still be the shy girl that was afraid to touch herself. Also I always loved to push myself but sometimes I don't realize that I push myself too much.
In 2021 I got caught myself in a circle of self-humiliation and heavy degradation.
Well, I thought it was a circle. Looking back now and from a different point of view I realize that it was more like a spiral facing downwards.

You have to know that during that time Master had several huge projects on his hand and he didn't have much time for a private life, also he was abroad for several weeks, came home for few days before he was gone for another month or two.
Of course we chatted almost every day, but now it was Mistress turn to train me. I knew already that she had a huge pee-fetish while I'm not a big fan of pee-play. Of course I was doing my business in front of my owners or got peed on as punishment when I had an orgasm without permission - as long as it stayed below my neck it was fine for me. I would have never thought about something like having pee in my hair / on my face or even drink it. That was a huge NO for me. But for some reason I wanted to give it a try. So to her delight I offered myself so she could live out her kink.

She peed on me on every occasion and after a while I let her pee on my head and a bit later I took a sip of her pee.
It was bitter and disgusting but also it felt like a seal was broken so she kept peeing on my face and in my mouth. I was disgusted but the humiliation made me incredibly horny at the same time. She made me her personally urinal and I let her.
Much later she told us that she peed on some of her former partners too, but couldn't take them serious afterwards anymore. That's why she love being in our relationship, she has someone who she have sex with and she can respect and someone who lets her pee on them.

So I started to behave like a “toilet slave” instead of a pet. It was not that I enjoyed being peed on, I craved the humiliation and at some point I “punished” myself with my own piss for the simple reason because I had to pee. It was not even made me horny anymore, I just wanted to devaluate myself. Instead of squatting in the shower I laid in the bathtub so I could “marinate” in my own piss. Or I drank plenty of water so I had to pee a lot and filled my piss-bucked. Then I went in the roof garden, poured it over myself and waited until it dried. If I made a leak on the floor I had to lick them up. I cleaned Mistress pussy with my tongue after the went to the bathroom and I think she really liked that. But I even started to fill my ass and cunt with piss. If I didn't have to go out I didn't clean myself because I deserved to show what a dirty low-life I became.
I also began penetrating my pee hole and started to stretch it until I could fit the lower part of a ballpoint pen in it.
Also I didn't educate myself anymore.
You know, in Masters company they held a celebration every year and I have always been his “plus one”. But from someone like my Master you expect a witty interlocutor instead of a dumb bimbo. I didn't even realized that I became less than a bimbo, I became a toilet.

Much later, as Master was almost finished with the project and had much more time for us again we were watching TV. After a while he excused himself to the bathroom. I just squatted in front of him and offered myself as his urinal.
He looked at me, disgusted and very tired. I think I crossed a line there.

I was told to get up and sit at the table and he asked Mistress to do as well.
He asked me what was the matter with me and because I didn't understand he explained to me that I behave more like a toilet and not like his beloved pet. He asked me about few things that where in the news for several weeks and because I couldn't give a proper answer he got very upset. He asked me if I realize what I'm doing to myself and how he started to see me because that's absolutely not the behaviour he was expecting from the woman he sees his future with. He want the smart woman back that he fell in love with and it's okay if I want to be a pet and not an urinal. Even Mistress got scolded (the first and only time in front of me) why she didn't put a stop to this.

I'm absolutely embarrassed when I think about that time now and all the dirty stuff I did to myself, which made my Master angry and sad.
Master admitted that he made some mistakes too, but I don't blame him because he had really much work to do that time.
So we [Master, Mistress and I] sat together and decided to have a break from the whole ownership-play. Master called a “mental reboot”. He said that it is okay to push myself - but it's not about pushing myself as hard as I can, it's about pushing myself in the right direction. He told me that all obligations were lifted and I'm not his pet anymore. He removed my collar and then grabbed my credit cards and give them back to me. At first I thought he was kicking me out, but it was to have my freedom back.
Afterwards Master and me took a long shower. He washed me and then went down on me to lick me to orgasm. In bed we even tried to deflower me but ended that he fucked my ass instead (stupid septate hymen). Not a mindless rutting but passionate love making because he wanted to show how much he still wants me despite I behaved like a dirty toilet.

We did a lot of stuff together then, having nice long walks, going to the cinema or in a museum. Everything you do as a “regular” couple and we got to “know” each other again. It kinda was like we were having “first dates” again. Except this time we were three because Mistress moved in in 2019 (I forgot to mention that, sorry). Even she “turned back” into my BFF from childhood. I could see (and later she told me) was not easy for her that suddenly I became equal to her again - but I would say that she managed pretty well

So mostly we did all the stuff together as a “menage a trois”, but several times we did something without Mistress.
One day he simply handed me a backpack, “dragged” me into the car and we went camping.
Of course we talked a lot, as equals. But also discussed my (future) submission and what we expect from each other.
It was really good for my mental health and I discovered a lot about myself. Even the relationship with my mother improved significantly.

But two things we kept doing:
1) I didn't wear any underwear, for the simple reason that I don't had any anymore because I donated them the year prior.
I'm three years without underwear now and I absolutely don't miss it. I never filled A-cup bras completely, there was always a light gap and it looked strange under shirts. And when Master and I attend a formal business event which “forces” me to wear panties I feel uncomfortable. Woman with (long) pubic hair can relate that every now and than somehow a few hairs get stuck or sneak between your labia and make you feel uneasy. So I put them on as late as possible and get rid of them at first chance. You could say I hate wearing underwear .
2) I kept wearing my collar.
When Master took it away I not just felt really uncomfortable, I felt exposed. It was unbearable because I had worn this collar for several years now and sometimes it had been the only thing I wore at all for several days.
I didn't sleep well the first nights and rolled around a lot and, according to Master, I was touching my neck like I was searching for my collar. Same happened the next days, I grabbed my neck several times because it just felt wrong not not being collared and every time I saw my reflection somewhere I winced, because I thought that I forgot it.
With my clothes it was similar, but in the opposite way. I got so used to undress as soon as I entered the penthouse that when I came home I put my keys in the bowl, removed my shoes and began to undress. Muscle memory is really something interesting
The first days it felt really strange (almost wrong) walking fully dressed though this rooms.

After few days Master realized how uncomfortable I felt without something around my neck, so he gave me my collar back. He didn't want to go “cold turkey” and also because he wanted to keep me as his pet. But during that time it was more an accessory and not a sign of ownership, at least for them.

But about six months later I realized that this live was too “vanilla” for me. Don't get me wrong, it was nice but not what I desire.
So one day Master, Mistress and I stood in the vestibule. I think I was playing with the ring of my collar and while we looked at each other it felt like we knew each others thought. Master then pulled my shirt up and after I was undressed he turned me so I could look at myself in the mirror. I was shivering as I slowly went down on all fours and it felt not just right, it felt natural. I realized that this is what I want to be, that I don't want a “normal” live. Someone like me belongs on a leash and I need to be collared. As I looked up to him and our eyes met we both smiled and nod. I think it was the first time he really understood that I'm not just playing his pet but really am his pet. And that won't change anymore. It's my nature, my true self. It may be sound weird but I'm a proud woman. I'm proud of what I am, I'm proud to be a sub and I'm especially proud to be Masters pet.

But even I was already tamed and mostly trained I had to learn more after my “mental reboot”.
In the “early days” of our ownership-play I often walked on two legs when it was easier (when cooking or cleaning) or generally behaved more like a slave or servant for Master and Mistress. Of course we had some “guidelines” before but know we put up some rules and they are very specific. Now it's crystal clear that I'm a pet, namely a dog and have to behave as such. Also it's stated that I'm the sole property of my Master and to him alone.
Of course I have to respect Mistress as well but she's not having unlimited power over me or when it comes to punishments she can't take measurements in her own hands anymore. I think we really benefit having this specific rules now, even they were hard to learn for me

So, that was really the most humiliating thing I did. But in the end and with help and guidance from my Owners it helped me a lot to understand what I want to be. Also it feels good to turn of one of my limits into at least just a disliking.

But as I said, a seal was broken.
Some of the stuff I did during the time of self-degrading and humiliating myself can now done to me, but it's strictly used as a punishment. Then I'll get piss-enemas (my own and from my Owners) instead of regular ones with water, for lighter punishments I'll still get peed on below the neck while for heavy punishments I get it all over my body including face and hair. The hardest punishment for me is drinking piss - thank god it's quite rare. But even it's limited to the amount of a shotglass I despite it. That I have to give a toast to my Owners in which I thank them for it made it even worse.
And every time I remember what I had done to myself, so it feels way more demeaning than before.

[Pet Ra]

Getting deflowered and having two weddings
Part 1 of 3

As I said before, I always have a hard time getting started after a break and this time was not different. I always need some kind of “adjustment period” again. Most days I'm a very happy pet, but every once in a while I started to not really fighting but questioning it and needed appropriation by my Owners. We had several talks which always help me to remember why I asked for this. I had several chances of becoming a normal, maybe even respectable woman and every time I realized that I don't want to be one. I don't want to be respected as a woman, I don't even want to be seen as one. It's nothing I crave. As I said: I am proud to be a pet and as such I belong on a leash.

But during this talks Master started to say some weird stuff. Something about the future he wants to have with me, not just as his sub but also as his wife. I mean, we had talked about something like this during my “mental reboot”, but I thought he just said that to comfort me. It's not that I didn't fantasize about it, but I'm still not sure what he could even see in me, except other than a pet.

And now he asked me again to become his wife? Why?
I wouldn't consider myself as “wife material” even I had started this adventure as his girlfriend. But that was five years ago and I didn't see myself as that any more. I thought the feeling had become mutual because after Mistress moved in with us I had seen how she took the place as the woman in this household. Over time I kinda gotten used to the idea that Master and Mistress would get married one day. And if that would happen it would be totally fine for me to be their pet (if they wanted me, of course) because Master deserve a real woman by his side. Someone that looks and behaves like one. Not a flat-chested... ...me. She is so much better than me.

He noticed my confusion and fear and assured several times that he wanted me “his stupid little pet” to become his wife. I was in seventh heaven on cloud nine but couldn't really believe it so I asked him several times if it's really true that he wants to marry me. I guess even to the point that I started to annoy him. But also I got worried that the marriage would be the end to our play and I would be a disappointment to him as his wife. But he still wanted me, so you can't say I didn't warn him

So, one day while we were talking about the “normal” wedding I expressed my concerns about the end of our ownership-play.
Master told me it was quite a chance to become a normal woman again. I was “outraged” and told him that I absolutely don't want that, we had tried several times, remember? He chuckled over my revolt against becoming a decent woman and said that he knew my answer already, he just wanted to hear it again.
So we made fun about having a BDSM themed wedding, with me crawling naked and leashed to the altar in front of our friends and family and had some good laughs. He then told us that he had already planed a BDSM wedding after the regular one in form of a proper collaring ceremony. I was hooked immediately and every time we talked about the wedding we ended at the collaring ceremony. Also we worked on specifying the rules we had talked about earlier so they were ready in time.

But there was still one problem, the one between my legs that always prevented me from becoming a “real woman”. My stupid septate hymen.
In the past we had often talked about if I wanted to lose my virginity, but every time I declined. Don't get me wrong, I always imagined how Masters cock would feel inside my cunt. Of course Mistress always told m how wonderful it feels, but at the same time I was afraid that I would be disappointed because I was expecting to much. Also I didn't want to take something from Mistress or giving her the feeling that I suddenly become “equal” to her as a real woman. Master told me how much he would love to feel my cunt sliding down on his cock but didn't want to force me and totally respected my decision. It was quite strange, almost every hole (except the “right one”) had been penetrated already: I sucked Masters cock, I put toys and vegetables in my ass, my Owners fisted me there and got fucked in it of course – you can say my butt got used very well
During my time as a toilet slave I even started to put something in my peehole and got some toys to dilate it. I thought it was very fitting for me.
But having my cunt used as nature intended somehow freaked me out.

Maybe because my mother always told me that the most valuable thing a Pinay [Filipina] owns is her virginity. Yet I still tried to get rid of that quite often. But now I was about to get married and I thought it would be time to experience that what my Mistress already does for almost a decade.
So while talking about the wedding I asked (in a respectful manner) if that means that I have to get deflowered as well. Master said that this would be reasonable and even Mistress agreed without hesitation. I told them that wanted to give it Master as a wedding present. Of course it was not possible in the regular way (we already try that several times before already, ouch) so we either had to do it after the wedding or some time before so everything could heal properly and I could have my “first time” in my wedding night.

We talked about it with my gynaecologist. She seemed surprised about my sudden change of mind because she advised to do this several times.
She told us that it would take about six weeks before we could have intercourse for the first time. So we made an appointment for February 2022 which was more than six weeks before the wedding because I wanted to have my “first time” as a married woman.
A week prior to the “defloration” we had an educational discussion which included the examination of my cunt. She told me that I had to remove my pubic hair for the operation. She noticed that I looked worried and after I told her that this hair has a very special meaning for me she looked quite irritated but agreed that it was okay to remove only as much as necessary (mostly at the labia).
But even I was happy that “it” was finally happening I was nervous as hell. And the tension grew with every day.

The evening before the final day Master teased and played with my pussy “to give the hymen a proper goodbye” and even Mistress licked me. I had some wonderful last orgasms as a virgin. We even slept together in the huge bed in the main bedroom - usually I sleep in the dungeon.
The next morning I trimmed the pubes on my labia (that was really hard), took a shower and stood in front of the mirror to take a last look on that tiny yet sturdy piece of skin that “protected and annoyed” me for so long. I thought about how often we tried to get rid of it and how Mistress taunted me for it on regular basis. I realized that I would really miss my hymen and a small voice in my head teased me that I could still cancel the appointment.

But then Master told me that it was time.
It felt kinda surreal walking down the stairs knowing that I will be brought to someone to have my hymen removed.
At the gynaecologist I was so nervous that I was shaking but there was no way back now and Master did his best to calm me down. I climbed on the gyno-chair and received anaesthesia. My gynaecologist asked if it was okay if her trainee was assisting her because you don't see or remove a septate hymen that often. I know that they had to teach them and I remembered when Master told me that I had to get used to people looking at my body.
Of course it's different if a stranger looks at you at the beach from several meters instead of someone from your town sitting between your legs and take a good look at your private parts. That the trainee was just slightly older than me made it kinda worse and I cursed myself for waiting so long.
But I took it as part of my training and strangely that made it much easier for me. I still felt embarrassed but agreed.

It was still a bit uncomfortable to hear the doctor talk to her trainee about my vagina and how sturdy the hymen was. But Master and Mistress where with me all the time and held my hands which gave me the strength to endure this.
Then it was finally time: The doctor cut the ribbon and stitched up the places (top and bottom) where the hymen sat. Now I was officially not a virgin any more Afterward she checked if it was “just” the septate hymen that prevented me from being deflowered in a natural way or if something else could cause some issues. But she assured me that I have a small but otherwise nice and healthy vagina.

[Pet Ra]

Part 2 of 3

As I said, normally the time for healing is about six weeks and was timed in a way that I could have had my honeymoon with few days to spare. I went to my regular check-ups so the doctor and her trainee would have a look if everything heals properly.
And everything went well until shortly before the wedding. I got a small infection at the lower stitch line and the doctor advised me to wait with penetration for about two more weeks. That means one week after the wedding.

You should mean that after waiting for so many years and declining the defloration several times I could wait this lousy two more weeks easily. No.
It's not that I wanted this just for me alone, I wanted to offer this undefiled part of my body to my husband as a gift to this special day.
I even went to the doctor in the morning of the wedding day to have it checked. No chance, she advised to wait ten more days, not just a week. And to make it worse it started to itch a bit. Of course we couldn't just cancel the wedding because I wasn't able to have my first time in the wedding night.

So the show had to go on and nevertheless we had a nice wedding. Mistress was my “Maid of honour” and as we got dressed she showed me the red underwear she was going to put on. You know this rumour, that if you wear red to a wedding you have a fling with the groom? I don't know if this meaning is true but I understood what she was telling me. Like I said before, she is my Mistress and as such she can't be my friend. Most people won't realize that because in public she is still friendly, but if you know what you have to look for you will notice how much she despise me. A red dress would have been to obvious but nobody would see her underwear. Nevertheless, I knew she was wearing it and understood the reference. This is just one example for the subtle degradation I have to endure on a daily basis and she was also doing this to me on my special day. That's why I love her so much.

I was wearing a white dress which was covering my shoulders. It was necessary because I don't have the bust size to keep it up on its own. I didn't want something with straps showing cleavage because it would have looked laughable. It was just a plain white dress, nothing extraordinary, so it fitted perfectly to me. I don't find any sense in spending hundreds of Euro on a dress that you most likely only wear once. So I chosen one that also can be worn to a gala or other quite formal event. The poor woman in the shop really had a hard time to get a fitting dress. Mistress also found a body suit, which I would describe as “naughty”
Also I couldn't wear my collar so I wore a white choker and this quite plain dress made me appear almost “pure”.

But underneath I showed my true colours.

First I thought about wearing nothing at all, but what if somebody would lift me up? So I wore white stockings and the naughty white body suit.
It was so wafer-thin that it was literally see-through and you could totally see my dark nipples trough it. Only the crotch area was made of a thicker white piece of fabric, but it was just covering my labia and barely my clit. Also it was obvious that this suit was made for women who shave their genitals and not for unshaven pets. It had absolutely no chance to hide my fur and was clearly made for the wedding night.
Of course you couldn't guess any of this under the dress, it was perfect.

At first we had the civil wedding at the registry office in the afternoon before we headed to church and got the blessing from the Lord. None of us is very religious so it was mostly for good form. But it made my mother happy to see me walking down the aisle.
Afterwards we headed to a banquet hall to celebrate.
It was a really nice celebration with friends and family but also quite exhausting so about 11pm my husband, my friend and I left the party. The guests didn't know that we had another ceremony planed. And (looking back now) this one was more important for me than the wedding. We had talked about this a lot and planed it properly (even more than the wedding) but still I got nervous because I didn't want to screw this up.

Of course I had worn a collar before and I knew that nothing would really change but still it was totally different.
The collar I had worn before was mostly a “training collar” and you can compare it with an engagement ring.
The collar I would get now has the same status as the wedding ring on my finger – it is final. Then I would be officially and permanently his property.

As we took the elevator to the penthouse my friend told me not to get used to it because this would be the last time I was using it.
In front of the door I gasped as my husband lifted me up and carried me to the bed in the main bedroom. During kissing he slipped his hand between my legs while I groped for his cock. Then he told me that I had to remove this ridiculous dress, it was almost pathetic how much I tried to appear as a respectable women. Everyone should know that I'm not and one day everyone will know what I really am. He put a new leash next to me and told me to follow him before he headed to the dungeon.

I almost shred my dress and stockings to follow his command.
Then I put the leash in my mouth and crawled to the dungeon, only wearing the body suit and my choker as instructed. At the door I waited patiently until I got told to come closer so I looked at the scene.
My husband sat on a chair, my friend stood next to him and on the other side stood a table on which my new collar laid. But this one was not just a regular dog collar from a pet shop like my old one, this one was custom made. As I looked at my future Owner and this beautiful collar I got completely calm, all nervousness completely disappeared. This was exactly what I wanted and I promised myself that after the ceremony I will never remove this collar again. Except my Master would tell me to do so, of course. I knew would wear it with pride, so everybody can see that I'm owned.
I could feel the heat between my legs, looked at my wedding ring, then to the collar and then to my husband. Less than eight hours before I became his wife, now this would be taken away again and I would return to my rightful place as his pet. And this time it would be once and for all.
After some minutes they told me to come closer, so I crawled the last few meters and squatted in front of my future Owner.

Then he asked me if I was still willing to give up the last, the very last chance to lead a normal life.
We had talked about this extensively and I knew that this was the point of no return, if I agree this would have been the last decision I ever made on my own. I didn't hesitated for a second and nod, I was to astonished for words.

My husband told me that, few hours before we promised to love, respect and honour each other. This is not only important between husband and wife but even more important between an owner and his pet. But as a pet I have one more to meaning, the most important one: to obey.
And not just him as my Master but to my friend as my Mistress as well.

Then he asked if I love him. I said “yes, Sir” and he kissed me.
Then he asked if I respect and honour him. I said “yes, Sir” and bend down to kiss his feet.
Then he asked if I obey them. I said “yes Sir and Madam” and could feel ten smacks on my butt cheeks.

I presented the leash and offered it to him as a sign of my connection to and guidance trough him.
My husband removed the choker and and put the collar around my neck while saying that this collar was a sign of his love my submission to him.
Then he took the leash from my still offering hands and hooked it to the collar to show that he accepted me as his pet again. I looked him in the eyes and thanked my Master for claiming me as his pet.