Her shoes.

[Wcbrown514]

My whole life I felt that I should be some amazing writer who captured our

time in a grand masterpiece and it would be recalled throughout the ages

and shown brightly next to Hemingway, Fitzgerald, and Keller. Now as I sit

here tonight sightly drunk and in a complex depression I find the only

subject I can manage to write about are her shoes. Sitting on my floor they

seem almost docile however I know that they have more significance than

anything else in this tiny apartment. They are a token of love and a sign of

true happiness because of these shoes I have been reminded that this

woman is more perfect for me than anyone else on the planet. A feat I

never thought possible and yet here tonight I sit with her shoes next to me

and still I can't seem to get past this depression I find myself in. My only

release is to write and perhaps that is how I will be remember as a writer,

by allowing my words to flow when I am at my weakest. Still her shoes

invade my thought still they captivate me and leave me to wonder how they

would feel on my feet. Society would deem those thoughts taboo no matter

how progressive our society proclaims to be now. If I where to step out my

door right now with those shoes on and someone were to see me they would

ridicule me. Why? Why is our society so caught up in what is right and

wrong that they lose focus of how short life seems to be? I don't intend for

this to be a question in which this whole story is written about, but instead it

is simply the tangent which will lead me back to my original topic of her

shoes. Black, 3 inch heel, strap across the top, and leather. I move them

closer to me and I begin to wonder, why do I care if society see them as

taboo? Am I no better than society for conforming to these boundaries set

forth by them? I have, but one life to live and yet I am content with

spending it indoors making checklist and goals to live my life by. Yet her

shoes provide an out, they provide my escape from these constraints, but

the question remains am I willing to accept that society will still find all this

very taboo and am I willing to deal with the consequences of the reactions.

Still I am losing focus on the point here, her shoes, they mystify me on her

feet, on my feet, on the floor, just being the shoes that they are and what

they represent they intoxicate me with freedom, with life, and with

happiness. Can a pair of shoes really do so much for me or am I simply to

drunk to understand that there are restrictions on life for a reason. Don't get

me wrong I am a Christian though sometimes I am guilty of doubt, but

aren't we all? Still is it so wrong to wear shoes you are comfortable in? I am

by knows means homosexual, I love my fiance dearly and she loves me

which is why she left these shoes with me as a reminder that no matter who

I turned out to be she would love me. How could a pair of shoes raise so

many thoughts and feelings in my mind? As I slip on the shoes instantly I

am reminded that her love for me runs beyond attraction, she looks past

what the world deems important and loves me for who I am and I in turn

love her for that. The shoes almost beckon me to venture out into the cold

darkness of the world and to show them off, but still I restrain. I sat down

looking at the shoes with the intention of writing a short work about how I

felt wearing the shoes and I thought I would in turn in some clever way end

up writing something about how society was too caught up in itself, but I

guess I have revealed that I am no better than the rest of society because I,

too, am so caught up in myself that I started out writing about shoes and

ended up focused on nothing, but myself. Unlike society though I am willing

to change this because right now I am going to stop writing this useless

short rant and walk outside. I am only stepping out onto my back porch, but

as far as I can tell I will have done more to move my life forward in these

few steps than I have spending all day moping around inside my apartment.

Her shoes, tonight my inspiration.