Why do members leave?

[Bloxo]

Hi all,
Do you have a friend you’ve met here who has walked away?

Have you yourself gone and come back?

Do you know why?

Then this is the question for you, help feedback why members leave the site, this feedback could be used to help make this site better by the mods, could be used to direct the way members behave on this site...or could even lead to new posts or features!

I know a few people who are staying away at the moment and I myself have often had spells away from the site over the years, here of some of the reasons I’ve had for leaving:

1. Fake members, I.E. those that decide to be something they’re not, whether it be faking gender or lying about doing dares

2. Lack of quality responses on posts: everyone who creates threads or tries to add to the site wants to see people interact, when they do...sometimes people just want to spam the minimum word limit too much.

3. The members on this site who think this place is their own personal playground: many members don’t have consideration for others, they don’t want proper conversation...people are seen as a way of getting them off and that only.

4. Idiots: some people clearly don’t read, don’t follow instructions on posts, don’t respect people’s limits when setting dares...or basically think it’s fun to completely make up stories to sound cool...we see through those stories people

5. The last, but sad reason I’ve left in the past is not feeling like I’ve belonged, don’t feel this way now, but sometimes it can be hard for members to be welcomed and accepted and don’t make friends here


So...if you’ve thought about leaving or know why a friend has, post the reasons here, even if repeating the above, at least we can see a pattern and take action to help this

And secondly, please learn from the points above, be a better member of this site and improve the quality of this forum!

[Nelioka]

1. A lot if it has to do with that i'm shy in nature. I want to explore my fetishes, but find myself constantly holding myself back so I take a lot of long breaks.

2. I'd say another thing would be just not finding what i'm looking for. I've yet to find a correct dom for me simply because they only care about their own pleasure. Not saying all do just what i've experienced.

3. There is little things too like being busy with work, enjoying my other hobbies, being comfortable with the go with the flow life etc.

Thats rly it for me can't think of anything else

[Bloxo]

Indeed, one of the reasons is life moves on, circumstances change, maybe you get into a relationship, or you become too busy for the site, quite agree about this, but of course there isn’t anything the site can influence nor should on these points, it’s fair to say that things change and people often come to this site as a whim or an impulse rather than making it a home or lifestyle choice

[pranadevil]

I disappeared in the past due to personal circumstances (really hard to post on here when homeless and no money. Then once in a place I had no actual internet for ages), and didn't post for ages because I wasn't really in the right place mentally during that time, or for a while after.

I'm posting now, but nowhere near to what I did before. For the most part I lurk, but it does sometimes feel like certain threads get popular, and others are outright ignored, even when there has been a good initial response (even if not in the thread), so you begin to wonder why you would bother with trying to boost the site in areas when you either get drowned out by a sheer multitude of posts one after the other, or just get no responses to begin with.

[lilith_]

I had left because of all the ignorance. There are so many people who have no idea what they are doing and sadly I was interacting only with them. Wanna be Masters and slaves who have no idea what these titles even mean. It's really sad because it gave me a really bad idea of the lifestyle... I made a lot of mistakes because I just didn't know how to dominate properly. Luckily I came across fetlife, i found youtubers, I spoke with a lot of people who knew what they were doing and I came back with a brand new account.

[Bloxo]

Originally Posted by lilith_

I had left because of all the ignorance. There are so many people who have no idea what they are doing and sadly I was interacting only with them. Wanna be Masters and slaves who have no idea what these titles even mean. It's really sad because it gave me a really bad idea of the lifestyle... I made a lot of mistakes because I just didn't know how to dominate properly. Luckily I came across fetlife, i found youtubers, I spoke with a lot of people who knew what they were doing and I came back with a brand new account.

I see why you are so passionate about having more educational material on this site!
Completely agree on that, so many children running around playing Dom, some which will have 0 experience and just like the idea of controlling people, which sadly with inexperienced hands can lead to some very real harm both physically or psychologically

[MichaelAtlas]

Personally I have to say that there have only been two reasons that made me leave the site:

1. The site behaves like a terrible free forum I made in 7th grade, extremely outdated private messaging system with poor handling of history and no modern features like for example web-sockets so it can update me on new messages without me having to refresh the page every 10 minutes. Not to mention the chat that handles like an old IRC for web app made in 2006. And there's the super out-dated features like integrating your yahoo messenger id despite the fact that yahoo messenger has been discontinued. I'm afraid to even imagine how these features behave on mobile. The extremely poor usability makes me want to move my private conversations anywhere else as soon as possible despite the fact that I think there are a lot of really fun and interesting people here.

2. Connecting with someone great I want to spend more time with, either here or in real life. Most of my kinks are more enjoyable for me and for the sub the better we know each-other and since I have less free time because of that and already have a great outlet for my dominance in the sub then I don't really have the time or the need to use this site much.

For me the reasons that fall under the category of "terrible people" have always been outweighed by the people I did actually like, so that's never been a reason, besides, there are terrible people in every online community.

[LitDarkness]

Originally Posted by Bloxo

Hi all,
Do you have a friend you’ve met here who has walked away?I have as that's the nature of this forum.

Have you yourself gone and come back?Yes, I have.

Do you know why?The friend was due to a misunderstanding that never resolved as far as I can tell.

As for me, I just get bored with the site at times and on this site there tends to be fighting somewhere at times and I don't want to be here when the fighting starts.

It just is lame and immature. I also taken breaks after break ups with some Doms as it is best for me to take a break from kink altogether at times.

Then this is the question for you, help feedback why members leave the site, this feedback could be used to help make this site better by the mods, could be used to direct the way members behave on this site...or could even lead to new posts or features!

I know a few people who are staying away at the moment and I myself have often had spells away from the site over the years, here of some of the reasons I’ve had for leaving:

1. Fake members, I.E. those that decide to be something they’re not, whether it be faking gender or lying about doing dares

The lying about doing dares happens and it is part of the way things work. I actually been accused of faking my gender when I wasn't out as trans* and used this site as a girl as I didn't give photos away easily.

There is more than this about that but, I want to keep some of that private.

2. Lack of quality responses on posts: everyone who creates threads or tries to add to the site wants to see people interact, when they do...sometimes people just want to spam the minimum word limit too much.

I do wish there were more responses on stuff I make. I work hard on my stuff yet participation goes in the toilet.

3. The members on this site who think this place is their own personal playground: many members don’t have consideration for others, they don’t want proper conversation...people are seen as a way of getting them off and that only.

Agree.

4. Idiots: some people clearly don’t read, don’t follow instructions on posts, don’t respect people’s limits when setting dares...or basically think it’s fun to completely make up stories to sound cool...we see through those stories people

Yeah, this is annoying and some people do what they want and that is it. I ignore these people.

5. The last, but sad reason I’ve left in the past is not feeling like I’ve belonged, don’t feel this way now, but sometimes it can be hard for members to be welcomed and accepted and don’t make friends here

What I noticed is you do have to make an effort and participate to make friends. I would recommended not making a TORD thread until you establish a reputation as reliable so people know you will do the dare and do some small dare thread instead and participate in chat and blogs and just pm people you would like to know.

I don't always feel accepted on this form either, there are so many sexual dares and truths and it is just something I don't want to participate in which makes me feel like a black sheep tbh.


So...if you’ve thought about leaving or know why a friend has, post the reasons here, even if repeating the above, at least we can see a pattern and take action to help this

And secondly, please learn from the points above, be a better member of this site and improve the quality of this forum!

Everything is answered and replied to in bold. There will always be bad members, sadly.

This site does need to operate better on mobile as I can mostly only use this site on mobile and it gets frustrating at times to even bother on mobile. I really hope that issue gets taken care of soon..

[badboy3892]

I wasn't on from Nov. 2017 through Sept. 2018, and really a lot of it was just kind of a loss of interest for awhile. I'm kind of here more for the truths than the dares but the truths section is usually a lot less frequented and slower moving than the dare portions of the site. Also like Nelioka I'm generally pretty shy which gets in the way somewhat. I'd like to do more dares TBH, but I'm always kind of scared of putting myself out there or getting asked to do things that I simply can't for one reason or another. Plus even though I'm well into adulthood and can make my own choices, I live with my parents and two brothers and it would be awkward to say the least if they knew I was on here admitting some of the things I do and exposing my unusual sexuality semi-publicly.

[lta9613]

I left for awhile just because it was the same thing every day. A lot of "same dares" and seemingly same subjects. There wasn't a lot of creativity.

[Scrap]

I step away from time to time. Most of the time it is because life gets busy and I do not have/make time to do much online socializing at all. Other times, it is because I get bored seeing the same questions and dares recycle through.

[Devi Dasa]

Just recently returned after years.
Reasons to leave back then:

1) as Lilith said, I didn't know what I was doing a d got frustrated. I used to come here to get off and didn't care about much else. Not nice.

2)lack of quality. Here and there are great posts. And loads of other stuff. Not everyone is the perfect daregiver, sure. Sometimes posts are clearly made without effort however.

3) the good ones die. Sadly irmt feels like a flood of mediocre very standard posts in with the common format.
3.5) It is uneasy to navigate through the forums to find the little corner you want to be in. Especially on mobile.

4) I personally need a personal relationship with someone in order to get much anything from playtime. Yet the process of finding someone seems to be outdated too. It feels like writing a job application (which is easily in the top 5 least fun things in life) and answering to a (females) post even more as there are usually so many more replies then the other way around.

5) recognition of effort is little. Why bother?

6) distrust. With vastly more male people and being on the internet, cheating on ones gender is common. All social media platforms have ways to verify yourself without the need of sending proof to every single person or post-it public pictures. Yes. There are many regulars that are well known. But new or more passive people might have a hard time being believed. Same goes for all data for sure like age or location.

[imakward]

In my opinion there are couple of reasons members leave
,it can be from RL being too demanding,
to just simply people that come for a quick fun and then don't log for a long time
and also people that are quite new at this and when they try doing something fun with someone from the site after that they get scared or embarrassed of what they enjoyed,and need long time to get into the site again.
Or they don't like something and leave.

I am a returning member myself,and i was gone for several reasons

My RL got too demanding but also the bigger reason was how the chat in getDare separates in small groups of people that talk only to each other,which is i guess fine,but my vision of the chat is talking with everyone in the chat,so that was my reason to not log at all in the site,because the chat is like 80% of the site for me.

But now i am back,and by the Immortal words of Iheartfun, "Lets make getDare Great again"

[shyguy88]

yeh i am only pretty new here, but there does seem to be a more elite club on this site. Some of the admins are terribly rude and stand offish which doesn't help a site run well or attract many people. I had a friend that was banned for no apparent reason other then the reason given "lol" so yeh not a real incentive to stick around for a lot of people. I will say I think Butterfly does a very good job of trying to keep things moving, and i'm sure there are other admins I have not been in contact with who are good too.

[2bchew]

Why did somebody leave 5th grade?Why did someone leave cub scouts?Why did someone leave their first job?Why did someone leave their first girlfriend?

People change,grow,evolve.A site like this isnt really something people come to to spend the rest of their lives.