The corrupted wish game.

[SeaFlower]

Granted, but Brutus would kill you the very first day by putting your chest hair on fire

I wish I was 1.75 meters tall

[Runesmith]

Granted. The very next day Trump announces a war on plants that are shorter than 1.80 meters because, "a lot of people, some of them very good people" have told him that short plants are the root of all evil. Orders are given to destroy all plants and shrubs below 1.8 meters on sight. US forces drop Agent Orange 2.0 (a herbicide named after Trump himself) all over the world, include a certain beach on the eastern side of the Atlantic.

I wish I could make time go faster when I am waiting for a connecting flight.

[SeaFlower]

Granted, but time would leave you behind and you'd stay forever waiting in transit (oh and not in Paris, let's make it Mosul)

I wish Trump was accepting gd dares

[Runesmith]

Granted. He accepts all dares and then claims he did them. He has proof that he did them and he will make them available "very shortly", as soon as they have been audited. Actually, they should be investigating Clinton and Obama, who never did any dares. Any reports circulating about Trump not doing the dares he accepted is the work of the dishonest "fake news media" such as the failing New York Times, and "fake news GetDare", whose ratings are going down. SAD!

I wish my next business trip was to Madagascar, where I have never been.

[SeaFlower]

Granted, but you would be kidnapped and live there all rest of your life as a sex slave

I wish Trump had an ad here as male/slave

[Runesmith]

Granted. Unfortunately it doesn't fit you at all, because what he is looking for is an orgy with a bunch of tall, blonde, Russian dommes to golden shower him, while his buddy Vlad makes video tapes of it.

I wish I could have the Xiao Long Bao from the Crystal Jade Palace at Ion Orchard for lunch today.

[SeaFlower]

Granted, but you could only go there full naked and collared

I wish I knew finally what Xiao Bao Long is, a food or a woman

[Hammarling]

Turns out it's some horrible food-human hybrid monster that wants to eat you!

I wish my phone would work properly

[SeaFlower]

Granted, but it would have been stolen from you and working properly for someone else

I wish I could be invisible for 10 minutes every day

[Runesmith]

Granted. You are invisible (except to yourself) for 10 minutes a day, but only when you are completely naked, and no one and no cameras are around to see you. The only exception to the camera rule is when you take a pic to send to me for verifying that you are, indeed, completely invisible. Although I am a very busy man, since the genie is a friend of mine and he asked me nicely, I might just take some time off my busy schedule to put your mind at ease, and tell you that I do not see you at all in the pics you sent me.

I wish the trip expense claim for my last business trip would automatically type itself.

[SeaFlower]

Granted, but your expenses would be so excessive you'd be insta-fired

I wish I knew the genie better than you and have your chest hair grow 36cm every time you see a naked picture of my toes

[Runesmith]

Granted. All I need is my Philips Oneblade and I am ready to inspect a ton of "invisible photos." Since 36cm would almost equal the size of my **** I have to make sure that the messy hair is shaved off.

I wish my body would stay in shape even if I never stepped in a gym again.

[SeaFlower]

Granted, but your shape would be an "S"

I wish I knew what **** above has a 36cm length

[Runesmith]

Granted. You discover the answer, but immediately fall in to a catatonic state from the shock. You spend your entire life locked inside your brain, 5screaming.

I wish I was able to get an appointment with my CIA-approved masseuse today.

[SeaFlower]

Granted, but she would be a shemale double agent and rape you

I wish I had a massage right now