Let us discuss, "Punishments" shall we

[akechi106]

Ok so a recent comment I made about someone requesting a punishment got me to think,"I wonder what others would think about this post and how this person whats punishments".

Well first off let me just say, that if someone is, "Requesting", a punishment/s, then it would normally consist of something with a little bit of pain so as make the person understand this is not for enjoyment because they have done wrong, or am I wrong in assuming this.

However, what happens when someone enjoys pain and yet requests a punishment. Do you just administer pain to them, knowing full well that they probably will not learn from their mistakes since pain is an excitement/enjoyment for them, or do you come up with something out of the box that is not related to pain so as to not cause them enjoyment, so they understand they have made a mistake or done something wrong and that they need to learn from it.

What are your opinions on the subject.

[IceMaiden]

I find a lot of people requesting punishments but only with their likes are actually looking for 'funishment' and not a real punishment.

In the case of an actual true punishment, I don't think pain has to be involved at all. I love most types of pain, so if my dom were to give me a punishment with pain involved, it wouldn't be a punishment in the slightest for me, unless it involved a type of pain I hate.

For example, I love spanking. So if he gave me spanks I'd be happy and wanting more. I enjoy the aftermath of caning, so if he caned me, I would enjoy the marks and tenderness that resulted from it. But I HATE pegs and nipple pain. So if he told me to peg my nipples then that would be an actual punishment for me. But what if I loved all types of pain? Then none of them would be a punishment for me.

However, there are many other ways my dom could punish me if he needed to. Lines, corner time, taking away privileges such as hot water, gaming, TV and so on. None of them involve pain at all but all of them would be a real punishment for me.

My sub enoys a variety of pain so if I were to punish him, I would be staying away from pain and going to other things he dislikes or hates, depending on the severity needed for the punishment. That could be taking away his coffee, having him write lines, mouthsoaping, corner time or a variety of other things, none of which involve pain at all.

Pain seems to be a go to a lot of the time for punishments but if the person enjoys it then it isn't a punishment at all and there really are many other methods which don't involve pain at all for punishment and discipline.

[Phaade]

I agree with IceMaiden on those points.
Pain is not necessarily a part of a punishment. Many people in the Bdsm community enjoy pain and so it wouldn't be a punishment except you turn up the intensity or amount so it will be more painful than exciting, which is really bad in my opinion.
A Punishment should never be harmful for the punishee. Really hurting someone isnt a good punishment. Not in the real world (when raising kids for example), nor in the kinky way.

For me the ideal punishment would either be something I don't enjoy doing/Im getting bored at like Cornertime,Linewriting, Ice play for example.

OR

just taking away something I really enjoy. Its the most effective and also a "healthy" version of punishment I think. Denial is of course one of that, aswell as general porn or playing.
And normal things like gaming, drawing, watching Tv series. I will surely behave, when you take those from me!
And on top of that it feels rewarding when i get them back. That may sound strange, but when I behave and I am allowed to watch tv again or cum for example. It is also some kind of reward for doing good, I feel like "You did good on that task, so Im letting you cum as a reward".

I sometimes even forget that you took it away in the first place and just feel good when getting it back.

Uggh, thats probably really unstructured. I need to work on my writing skills

[akechi106]

I whole heartily agree with the both of you.

Pain was what i focused on because of the thread i originally post in to make sure people thought "out of the box" for punishments because someone wanted pain since it was a like of theirs.

Weither Physical pain or not, I believe anything that feels uncomfortable mentally or physical can be a punishment. Pain is just one form of punishment.

You both are right though, line writing, corner time and all the other non-painful punishments are still punishments.

[bustod]

For me, punishment is not just about pain either, but pain is a big part of it.
I list some punishments as my 'likes' because that is what I see as punishments I respond well to, doesn't mean "I enjoy" the pain from them necessarily. This is a common misinterpretation I have heard often
Also, I am just not into certain things, for example, would it be fair if someone wants to use cbt as a punishment, especially when I am not into it, "because that is exactly what punishment needs to be"?

[MasterAiki]

If its to be genuine punishment then of course use something they don't enjoy and will remember. Don't punish a humiliation addict with humiliation, dont punish a pain lover with pain, dont punish a bondage addict with bondage.

Have some ingenuity. I usually find boredom to be an effective punishment for masochists.

[Anchorsaway]

Good evening. I am a bit late to the topic, but it is a very good one. This is a topic that I think Evie Lupine addressed very well in this video blog post: https://youtu.be/4V1rUhPmXF8
I liked how she broke it down into 3 categories of effective punishments 1) physical 2) sensation 3) activity.

I'm not a Dom and I'm not much of a massochist ( except emotional massochism)... but for me the most effective punishments revolve around either removing a privilege that reaffirms emotional content or a punishment that reinforces the lesson or behavior that is expected.

For instance: I once had a Dom that learned I like to feel more intelligent than those around me. To break me of my arrogance he decided to task me with watching an *incredibly* boring history series. I was to take notes ( I had 40 pages of them) then he administered a rapid fire oral test which left me no time to search for the answers. I got a 70%. That was horrific for me. However, ever after my punishment for rule breaking was wasted thing that damn show. **EFFECTIVE DETERRENT RIGHT THERE.**

Thank you, OP for the topic.

~ Hiraeth.

[Meister Andrew]

Let me say it like this, it's not always what you do but how you do it. Many people are into pain in a sexual way but remove that and it's no longer pleasurable. So for someone who's into spanking as part of sex an effective punishment may be a slightly harder spanking but not allowing them to get off and possibly repeating the punishment while keeping them in denial. It's not only for pain but for other punishments as well.

Someone who's into humiliation in a sexual way may not be into being really embarrassed. A punishment for someone like that may be to have them put on a padded bra backwards and having them parade through a mall so that people think there's something wrong with them.

As for the comments about punishments and "funishments" you can't really take what's requested online as any reliable measure as most people requesting are fake and only looking for reactions and getting people to waste their time with tasks they never do and never even come back to read.

[fromo]

When people serve me, punishments very rarely involve pain because its something allot of people enjoy, i tend to use common sense and actually punish the person in question instead of giving into something they may like. An example would be my previous main sub, she was a coffee holic, something i generally regulated, though if she did something to earn a punishment, i'd often use her love for coffee against her, limiting or outright taking her coffee away. It very often did the trick in making sure certain behaviours where not shown as being acceptable. Other times I've done things such as taking away items of bedding, tv time ect.
The thing is, when someone is requesting punishment, thats not what they're actually requesting. What they want are funishments, things that'd typically be seen as punishments by the more vanilla yet dont know the difference themselves. One of the reasons i've never really taken anyone like this seriously, normally people coming along and asking for that sort of thing are just after their fix and noting more, actually punishing them has often just yielded the response of 'but thats boring' and me then saying something along the lines of 'well, yes, thats the point, punishments aren't meant to be fun'.
With that being said, for some the mentality of why they're being spanked makes the difference, i've known some who love to get spanked, but hate they way they feel to be spanked when being punished, making said spanking then be able to serve its purpose.

[sissyBrittx]

while pain is a go to method of punishment, i think humiliation can be way better for me personally, if it comes to ball slapping, spanking that will all go away, but if you make me humiliate myself, its a much longer lasting suffering imo.

[sissysub69]

the punishment that i hate the most is denial, you have to knee down on this rice in the corner, write lines, all this like i am going to ignore you and your not going to come near me with out you showing that you are since and want to continte with this. I think that their a difference between punish me as it kink play where you not really upset by the sub the sub is doing it to get a spanking and their a punishment where you have done something wrong which was against the rules like when you forgot to address them correctly. This would have a punishment with lines. The punishment normal has something to do with why the sub is getting punished.

[LitDarkness]

What I do for punishments is male it something who needs punishing doesn't like. If they like lines, I won't punish them with lines and if they dislike edging, I would use edging as a punishment.

Same goes for pain. Even though pain can be a go to punishment, it doesn't mean it is a effective punishment.You don't punish someone with what they enjoy.

As for punishment threads, often times they just want a funishment which is fine but, do wish they would be more up front about it. But like someone above said, they may not know the difference.

[Pandasniper]

Punishments should match the crime eg I was caught masterbaiting by my master he mad me ask for punishiments The one I got told to do was masterbaiting with toothpaste 2 times in a row until I cum

Punishment should correct the slaves behaviour