Old 04-14-2021, 02:55 PM   #1
Trashsamhands
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Default How to switch when you’re a sub?

My bf wants me to be more domineering. Not necessarily bdsm-level domme, but more demanding and detailed with what I want. Here’s why I’m having trouble:

1) I’m a sub through and through.
2) I’m not good at dirty talk (which he seems to want. He is much better at it than I am. I’m just good at changing up my moans to indicate what I’m feeling, ha
3) I was literally just about to post about how I can gradually bring him in to my humiliation/degradation fetishes without scaring the living christ out of him. He’s certainly not vanilla (He’s figured out that I like the DDLG thing—he’s a little weirded out by it, but still does it because he’s seen how much it turned me on. Same with spanking. I still haven’t gotten him quite to where I want it (I want to have trouble sitting down, I want him to make me beg for mercy—he is NOT comfortable taking it that far, so I don’t push him, but when he’ll spank me a little bit, I try to encourage him to give me more/do it harder)

So as I’m typing this, I’m thinking maybe I should demand wants in which I want him to degrade me—but whilst figuring out and staying within his limits (esp since we’d both be experimenting—we may find new limits, who knows).

But again—how? Without making it scary? What can I say, what can I ask him to do that will gradually lead us to the degradation path I want to be on? Ideas?
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Old 04-15-2021, 04:38 AM   #2
poetrylover828
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Honestly to me this sounds like a conversation that should happen not during sex or play. You two need to sit down and talk about the things you like and the things he likes. You can google kink/fetish lists and make copies that you can both mark up how you see fit. And then compare the lists to see what matches up to build on.

Also being clear in what you want isn’t being dominant. It’s making sure you also are getting what you want. Things like limits exist because you have the right to not like something. And in discussing what you both like you can find limits for both of you together.
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Old 04-15-2021, 05:51 AM   #3
poetrylover828
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Oh and being a switch doesn’t mean asking for what you want and need from a relationship. If you started domming your partner and giving orders and the like then you would be a switch. But from what you’ve said I understand it as you being clear with your wants and needs. Which anyone in any type of relationship should be able to do.
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Likes: rope play, spanking and other forms of light impact play

Limits: anal, piss, scat, video, pics, permanent damage

Don’t send me messages asking to help with your dare or help you shop. If I want to take parts in dares I will. If you need someone to pick out the things you are buying then you don’t need to being doing dares.

I'm not looking for a partner.
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