Wow... *shivers*
Wow... I wish more dominants were like you. More, I think all dominants should read this! So many doms do exactly what you say, putting themselves first. In a healthy relationship of that type, the power structure is... almost upside-down.
Yes, the dominant is nominally in control, but the session has to be about the sub's needs, or as you say, he or she will not feel safe, and will back out. I'm a switch... I prefer to be submissive, but I can be dominant if the needs of my partner warrant it. I've always said that makes me the very best kind of dominant, because I understand the submissive's needs, his mind, his thoughts. And as a natural submissive myself, I lose myself in my sub's needs.
Maybe that isn't as healthy as what you describe, that true blending of pleasure for both of you, but I think it's still better than the doms who just do random scenes they've seen in porn videos, and get themselves off, leaving the sub feeling empty, used, and unwanted.
So... thank you for writing that! Bravo! Should be required reading for all doms!
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