[alli55]

The hilarity of Joe’s hypnotised walkies over, Lissie’s anxiety returns.

Gemma’s inability to cope with the Chilli Challenge means she is now facing a massive struggle to avoid having to go through the trauma of tonight’s Live Dare-Off. Adding to the uncertainty is the fact that we don’t know what the other two parts of this week’s main dare are. Will there be more things that Gemma is unable to eat? And, presumably, the Dare-Off will be some sort of food dare, too. What happens if Gemma can’t do that? She’ll be coming home, that’s what!

All these thoughts flash through my mind. So much for my dislike of spending too much time worrying about the future! I know, though, that however anxious I may be feeling, Lissie is ten times worse. She is so hooked on the idea of Gemma going on to win the whole series, that the merest possibility of Gemma ending up in the Dare-Off is worrying her tremendously.

It is no surprise at all to see, when I look down, that her foot is perfectly still; there’s not even the hint of a wiggle.

“Welcome back to Britain’s Most Daring!” Trixie says, as we return from the ad-break. “Before the break, we saw our daredevils take on the heat of the Chilli Challenge.”

“That forms the first part of this week’s food-based dare, and the points from the Chilli Challenge will go towards the overall score for the dare,” explains Joe.

“Which means, then,” continues Trixie, “that Keenan leads with 10 points, then come Eilidh and Matt on 8, Dylan on 7, Shanumi, Mia and Jaz all have 6 points, Ayla and Tommy are on 5, Bradley 3, and, finally, Gemma has just 1 point.”

“So, that’s how things stand at the moment,” Joe informs us. “Now it’s time for the second part of the dare. Yesterday, was the day of Britain’s Most Daring’s field trip! We took wor daredevils to a remote spot, miles from civilisation, buried away in deepest, darkest Hertfordshire! Here’s what happened.”

We are transported to a grassy meadow, presumably in Hertfordshire. The daredevils are all standing in a group, with a trio of people standing a few metres in front of them: Trixie, Joe, and a middle-aged man with an unfeasibly-bushy ginger beard. The two presenters are casually dressed, both in t-shirt and skinny jeans, whilst our bearded friend is wearing a floral-patterned shirt over a pair of shorts. His feet are out of shot, but would it be totally wrong of us to assume he’s wearing sandals?

“We’re here in a typical English meadow,” Trixie tells us, unnecessarily. “It’s a lovely place for a walk, or just to sit and soak up the sun.”

“But,” continues Joe, “it’s also a great source of food; and I don’t mean just the cows that graze on here from time to time!”

“No, there are plenty of things that you can find here all the time,” Trixie adds, “that you can eat. So long as you know what you’re doing!”

“Here to guide us through wor Meadowland Menu, is wild forager, Bob Hingewick,” Joe introduces their guest. “Bob, thanks for coming!”

“You’re welcome!” replies Bob, with a distinctive West Country accent.

“So, there are loads of things all around us that we can eat, is that right?” Joe asks.

“Yep!” Bob tells him. “An area like this is just teeming with wild foodstuffs that make a delicious and nutritious addition to your diet.”

“Which is what the second part of our food dare is all about,” Trixie declares. “Bob has put together our Meadowland Menu, which our daredevils are going to try to eat their way through! It’s one point for each delicacy they consume, as simple as that!”

“Now, some of the things on the menu can be eaten raw, but some need to be cooked,” Joe informs us. “So, we’ve provided each of wor daredevils with a camping stove and a few pots and pans to help them.”

“Okay, everyone,” cries Trixie, “let’s start sampling the Britain’s Most Daring Meadowland Menu!”

Our next shot shows us that the daredevils have been split into three smaller groups, and that each group is sat in a circle, with camping stoves and utensils at the ready. Joe is with one group, comprising Ayla, Matt, and Tommy; Trixie has Shanumi, Jaz, and Dylan in her group; and Bob is in charge of a larger group, made up of Keenan, Mia, Eilidh, Gemma, and Bradley. The groups are all within easy earshot of each other. We also see that we were wrong to assume that Bob was wearing sandals, his bright orange trainers now very visible!

“Okey-dokey,” says Bob, “the first thing you’ll notice in any area of grass in this country is dandelions. And, yes, they are edible! Every part of them can be eaten, but the flowers are the best bit!” Bob picks up a dandelion, bites off the yellow flower head, and begins chewing.

The daredevils, plus Trixie and Joe, all have a dandelion in front of them, and they are now expected to eat it. All of Joe’s group, including Joe himself, quickly bite off the flower and munch away. Shanumi eyes her dandelion suspiciously, whilst Trixie and the rest of her group eat the flower like Bob has told them. In Bob’s group, with the forager’s encouragement, Keenan has stuffed the entire dandelion into his mouth; the girls are all eating the flower, though Gemma, for some reason, is pulling bits off with her fingers and putting them into her mouth, a little at a time; while Bradley, however, takes a tentative nibble at the flower and pulls a face. Trixie polishes off the rest of her dandelion, and we see Shanumi finally take the plunge and bite off the flower head. Bradley’s dandelion is also missing its flower when we return to Bob’s group. In fact, a final, quick shot of each group shows us that everyone has eaten their dandelion.

Joe gives us his verdict: “The flower was alright, but I wouldn’t give you anything for the rest of it!”

“It was a bit too bitter!” Trixie agrees.

“So, what have you got for us next?” Joe asks Bob.

“Some clover,” he answers, “which grows abundantly in most grassy areas. Again, the flower is the best bit, and the leaves can be a bit unpleasant.”

Having eaten a dandelion already, everyone quickly bites off their clover flower heads. Then they have to face the ‘unpleasant’ leaves. There are varying degrees of hesitation, with Shanumi, Bradley, and Ayla the most reluctant to start. Gemma’s facial expression tells us, in no uncertain manner, that the taste is definitely not nice. Bradley notices, and is further discouraged from trying the leaves of his clover.

“Oh, that is rank!” exclaims Joe, not helping any of the waverers.

As we skip between the groups, we can see that everyone has either eaten, or is eating, their clover leaves, with a number of them screwing their faces up in reaction to the taste.

“And I thought the dandelion was bitter!” declares Trixie. “What’s next, Bob? Something nicer, I hope!”

“Okey-dokey! Let’s try some chickweed, then!” he suggests. “This is another common plant that most of us have in our gardens as well, and you can eat everything apart from the roots.”

With no flowers to bite off, there is little to do with the chickweed apart from put some of it in your mouth and start chewing. Everyone does so, in differing amounts, ranging from Shanumi’s tiny taster up to Matt’s ‘bung it all in in one go’ approach. This proves to have been too ambitious, as he nearly chokes on his mouthful of plant. The rest of them are all eating their chickweed at their own pace.

“Hmmm, a bit spinachy,” says Trixie, trying to describe the taste to us, “but not bad!”

“I can see why wor budgie likes it so much!” remarks Joe.

Once the chickweed has all been eaten, it’s time to move on to the next thing on the menu.

“So, here’s another tasty flower for you to try,” Bob tells everyone, holding up a large daisy. “This is an oxeye daisy. Now, with this one, only eat the flower, or else you could be looking for a toilet!”

The first thing they notice about their next edible flower is that it’s a lot bigger. But, so far, the flower heads have proved themselves to be the tastiest things eaten, so most of the daredevils bite into their daisy head with no second thought. So, too, do Trixie and Joe. Only Shanumi, as usual, and Gemma don’t. Shanumi seems to be considering whether to eat the flower or not, whilst Gemma is picking all the white petals off and eating them, but leaving the yellow centre.

“That’s the best one yet!” Joe declares. “If anyone doesn’t want theirs, pass it to me!”

If Shanumi is considering passing hers to Joe, then it isn’t very long before she decides against it. She takes a bite and begins eating, then quickly takes a second bite, and a third to finish the flower off. In Bob’s group, all eyes are on Gemma, as she pops the yellow centre of the daisy into her mouth and eats it.

So far, everyone’s eaten everything. Surely the Meadowland Menu will become more challenging, won’t it?!

“Okay, Bob,” Trixie says, “what else have we got on our menu?”

“Well,” says Bob, with what appears to be a gleam in his eye, “our next item on the menu is a plant that everyone will be very familiar with. But I bet you haven’t considered eating it!”

“To be honest, mate,” interjects Joe, “that applies to everything on the menu so far!”

“Fair point!” acknowledges Bob, but he presses on anyway. “Still, you’re going to have the chance to try nettles, now!”

“Stinging nettles?” asks Joe.

“Yep, the nettles can sting, so I suppose you could call them stinging nettles.”

“Ow!” cries Dylan, as he shakes his hand vigorously, confirming that they do indeed sting.

“Now, there’s a technique to this,” Bob informs everyone. “As I’m sure you all know, the sting comes from the hairs on the stems and the bottom of the leaves. If you grab just the top of a leaf, you won’t get stung.”

They carefully grab a leaf each, making sure to only touch the top side of it. As we watch, Bob continues to instruct them. “What you need to do is fold or roll it up, making sure that the bottom side isn’t showing at all. Then, when you’ve got it into a tight ball, simply pop it well into your mouth on one side, and chew.”

Keenan, Mia, and Eilidh follow Bob’s example, and begin eating their first nettle leaf. In the other groups, there is less inclination to follow his instructions. Whether this is because they have only heard what to do, rather than seen it first-hand, we’re not sure. Only Matt puts his nettle leaf into his mouth straightaway, along with Trixie, who does the same.

As the braver daredevils begin eating the rest of their leaves, Shanumi shakes her head and says, “No way!” We have our first refusal!

Gemma and Jaz pluck up enough courage to eat their first leaf, and Dylan looks as if he’s about to do the same, only to change his mind at the last moment.

“Nah, not doing that!” declares Tommy, somewhat surprisingly, given his tough Yorkshire nature; but Bradley takes the plunge, cautiously putting a leaf into his mouth.

“They taste a bit nutty!” Trixie decides.

“The taste depends on where they’ve been growing, the time of the year, the size of the leaf and where it is on the plant,” Bob tells her, “so no two leaves will taste exactly the same.”

Dylan gives up his attempt to eat the nettles, before Joe, somehow, manages to sting his lip, which makes him stop. Ayla is the last daredevil left undecided, and she makes her mind up and chucks her nettle leaf to the ground.

“Halfway through our Meadowland Menu,” Trixie says, “most of our daredevils are on 5 points out of 5, but Ayla, Tommy, Shanumi, and Dylan have 4 points. After the break, we’ll see how everyone gets on with the second course. Join us then!”

“So,” Phil asks the girls, “how about I go and pick a few dandelions for your supper? We’ve got plenty in the lawn!”

“You can pick them if you like,” Maddie informs him, “but I won’t be eating them!”

“I’ll try one!” offers Lissie

“I was only joking!” her Dad tells her.

Maddie leaps up. “This I’ve got to see!” she says, as she exits the room.