[PervertedBatteFish]

This one will take a little prep work so I'll write out the list of things you'll need before we get to the fun stuff
You'll need
2 cups all-purpose flour
2 cups sugar
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon yeast
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1 can (12 ounces) cola
1 cup butter, cubed
1/4 cup baking cocoa
2 large Eggs
1/2 cup buttermilk
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 pre greased 13x9-in. cake pan
Oven
Largest dildo you have
A bullet vibrator
A tight pair of jeans
1 tub of icing

Part 1. Mixing bowls are over rated
Enema the cola, sugar, baking soda and yeast into your ass and plug it with your dildo put on your jeans and go lay down and relax. The yeast will start to produce gas as it mixes with the sugar so make sure your real comfortable and relaxed of you'll start to cramp. Stay plugged and let the gas build up till your jeans are too tight to bare. Take them off and lay on the floor on your new found gut for about 25 sec (the time it takes to sing Happy Birthday) Stay on your stomach and raise your ass into the air. Remove the dildo and enema in the rest of the ingredients. Replug yourself with the dildo, sit up. Place your cake pan in front of you and ride your dildo till you cum 5 times (for Happy) cumming into the pan. Once done release into the pan.

Part 2. Have your cake and "eat" it too!
Put your vibrator in and push it in with your dildo, hold both(gotta keep that ass gaping) Preheat oven to 350° and bake your ass cum cake for 25-30 minutes or until a toothpick inserted in center comes out clean. Take it out and let it cool (or don't. I'm not your mistress) and cut it into bite sized pieces. Remove your toys and start taking in your "bites" adding icing in between them. Once you've run out of both cake and icing fuck you dildo do till you cum 8 times (for Birthday) Release and make a wish.