getDare Truth or Dare - View Single Post

LimeNLemonade · 08-20-2023, 08:45 AM

Yes, I've felt loss when I've had a rule removed. It is a strangely bad feeling, given it’s often removed with good intentions from the dominant. I’ve felt disappointed in myself. It's also felt frustrating, like I'm being denied the opportunity to prove myself and try harder to make it work.

At the end of the day, it’s the dominant’s decision and you must come to terms with it. For me what helps is having a discussion/thinking about whether the rule is currently serving its original purpose. That rule was given to you for a reason. Maybe it was intended to make you feel owned, controlled, humiliated, embarrassed, needy, frustrated, etc. Is it currently providing the dominant with its intended purpose?

If it's not, and that can't be remedied, I think it's fair to let go of it. Often a dominant wants you to feel a specific way with the tasks and rules given to you. If instead you are feeling overwhelmed by a rule, or like you’re failing at it, or any other negative feeling... none of that was what the dominant desired. So, clinging onto it when it’s not working doesn't really give the dominant anything they want.

Trying your best is admirable. But there is a time to let go of things that aren't working so they don't consume you/your relationship. After some time has passed, I find I often ask for a second try at a task/rule. I find that brings me peace. Perhaps you can revisit the rule again in the future.

08-20-2023, 08:45 AM	#3
LimeNLemonade Account Banned Join Date: Jun 2015 Posts: 57	<3 Yes, I've felt loss when I've had a rule removed. It is a strangely bad feeling, given it’s often removed with good intentions from the dominant. I’ve felt disappointed in myself. It's also felt frustrating, like I'm being denied the opportunity to prove myself and try harder to make it work. At the end of the day, it’s the dominant’s decision and you must come to terms with it. For me what helps is having a discussion/thinking about whether the rule is currently serving its original purpose. That rule was given to you for a reason. Maybe it was intended to make you feel owned, controlled, humiliated, embarrassed, needy, frustrated, etc. Is it currently providing the dominant with its intended purpose? If it's not, and that can't be remedied, I think it's fair to let go of it. Often a dominant wants you to feel a specific way with the tasks and rules given to you. If instead you are feeling overwhelmed by a rule, or like you’re failing at it, or any other negative feeling... none of that was what the dominant desired. So, clinging onto it when it’s not working doesn't really give the dominant anything they want. Trying your best is admirable. But there is a time to let go of things that aren't working so they don't consume you/your relationship. After some time has passed, I find I often ask for a second try at a task/rule. I find that brings me peace. Perhaps you can revisit the rule again in the future.