[alli55]

“I wonder what the Dare-Off will be this week?” muses Lissie, getting ahead of herself, as usual.

What is it about the modern generation? They always seem to be more concerned about what’s going to happen in the future, rather than just living in the present! I don’t know, maybe it’s just me getting old!

“Welcome back to Britain’s Most Daring!” Trixie greets our return. “Still to come, we have plenty more photobombing and selfie-hunting, plus, of course, there’s tonight’s Live Dare-Off!”

There you are! Just show us the next bit and forget what’s still to come!

“Mia has set the standard so far tonight, with her 5-a-day photobomb campaign,” Joe reminds us. “Can anyone top that?”

“Who knows?” Trixie replies. “Maybe Dylan and the Uni Dare Club can! Lowri went to find out.”

“Dylan is considering how to photobomb creatively, as instructed by the Dare Deliverer,” we hear Lowri’s voice inform us, “and he’s picking some of his fellow Dare Clubbers’ brains.”

The fellow Dare Clubbers in question are two guys, who are sitting, with Dylan, cross-legged on a rug in the middle of a largish room, and Dylan’s make-up-wielding friend, Tish, who is flopped in some sort of bean-bag thing.

“So, what can I do to make the photobombing something that stands out?” Dylan asks.

The dark-haired guy says, “How about doing it in costume?”

“Hmmm,” replies Dylan, not seeming too sure about the idea.

“Does it have to be photobombing,” Tish asks, “or can you videobomb too?”

“I dunno,” Dylan confesses, “why?”

“Well, I just thought, maybe you could videobomb the evening news or something. Maybe see how many nights you can get on!”

“Interesting!” remarks Dylan. “Maybe …”

“What about, …” begins the other guy, “you know that shop dummy we kidnapped the other week?”

“Yeah,” laughs Dylan, and the others chuckle as they remember one of the Dare Club’s exploits.

“Well, why don’t you carry that with you when you photobomb?! So, it’s kind of like, you and your plastic friend photobombing everyone!”

“Oh, yeah, nice one Baz, that’d be wicked!” agrees the dark-haired lad.

“If we dress it up in something,” Baz continues, “but make it obvious that it’s not real, that’d be a laugh!”

“Definitely!” Dylan decides. “That’s the one!”

We see some speeded-up footage of the four of them manhandling the shop dummy and dressing it in a Wales rugby shirt and nothing else.

Lowri appears on our screens looking, for all the world, like a deckchair on legs. She’s in a dress that features red, yellow and green vertical stripes from her shoulders to her thighs, but seems oblivious to the visual havoc she is creating. Standing next to her is a red-shirted plastic mannequin, and next to that is Dylan.

“So, Dylan,” she teases, “who’s your friend?”

“This is Manny!” Dylan tells her. “He’s going to help me with my dare!”

“So, what’s the plan?”

“Me and Manny are going to go on a photobombing spree!”

“Is he going to finish getting dressed first?” Lowri enquires.

“He has!” Dylan answers.

“Oh, right,” she says, “let’s hope he doesn’t get arrested for indecent exposure, then!” She puts a hand over Manny’s groin.

The scene changes to a busy shopping precinct. Dylan is wandering around, looking for possible targets to photobomb, with Manny tucked under one arm. Not surprisingly, he is attracting a lot of attention and some very strange looks!

As we watch Dylan on the prowl, Lowri’s voiceover explains what’s going on. “Dylan’s decision to try the shopping centre isn’t working. Probably because people don’t take photos at a shopping centre, as a rule! And I thought students were supposed to be intelligent!”

We see Lowri and Dylan sitting outside a café, with Manny propped up against a neighbouring table. Over a cup of coffee, Dylan is explaining his next move.

“It’s not working, here,” he admits, “so I’ve had a re-think. I need to go somewhere where there’s more people actually taking photos, so I’m going to take Manny to Oakwood!”

“Really?” asks Lowri.

“Yeah, why not? But he’s paying for himself!” he laughs.

“Mind if I tag along?” Lowri enquires. There’s not a thing Dylan can say or do to stop her!

Oakwood Theme Park bills itself as ‘the best adventure park in Wales’, but we can be fairly confident that it’s never had a visitor quite like Manny before! Once in, though, Dylan and his plastic friend find plenty of photobombing opportunities, as we see in a rapid-fire montage that mixes photobombing with trying out some of the attractions: Lowri seems particularly keen on the rollercoasters, judging by the number of times we see her on one or other of them; Dylan takes Manny for a round of crazy golf; and all three of them go for a trip on the boating lake, where Lowri and Dylan share a large pedalo with Manny leaning, precariously, behind them. Amidst all this mayhem, Dylan’s photobombing seems to centre mainly around the bobsleigh ride, where he and Manny can dash into shot easily, and where plenty of people are taking photos of their children coming down the bob-run.

“We’ve had a fantastic day here at Oakwood, and I think Dylan might have actually got some photobombing done as well!” Lowri tells us, sitting on a tea-tray at the top of a steep-looking water flume. On the adjacent flume, Dylan is on another tea-tray, holding Manny in front of him. Lowri looks over to them and yells, “Race you to the bottom! You ready for the splash, Manny?” Both tea-trays hurtle down the flume and send water cascading either side. When our field of vision clears, we see that Lowri has survived okay, but Dylan is partially submerged and Manny is floating, face down, in the pool!

On our return to the studio, we find Trixie and Joe have been joined by Dylan and Manny, who is still wearing just his red rugby shirt. Joe attempts to pull the bottom of it as far down Manny’s body as possible.

“Trixie, avert your eyes!” he tells his co-host.

Rather than avert them, she chooses, instead, to roll her eyes. “It’s like working with an overgrown schoolboy!” she declares.

“Could be worse,” Joe points out, “you could be working with Lowri!”

The very idea seems to send a shudder through Trixie’s body!

“Well, Dylan,” Joe says, “Manny seemed to be having a good time, but how did you dare go?”

“Yeah, that was good!” Dylan tells him. “We got plenty of people and had a really good laugh!”

“You certainly made an impression!” Trixie informs him. “Take a look at this!”

A Tweet appears on our screens, with all the usernames and such-like blacked out. A short video clip featuring Dylan running frantically, dragging Manny behind him, is accompanied, below, by the words ‘what the [blacked out] is going on at Oakwood today?’. Rather unusually for Channel 4, the swear word has been censored, probably because of the pre-watershed slot that the show occupies. We can assume that it must be a fairly obscene swear word, given what has already been allowed in earlier shows!

Dylan laughs, and says, “Brilliant!”

“Let’s see if our DAPAs agree!” says Trixie.

They do! Danielle is first to reveal her score, which is 8. Dan follows with 9, giving Dylan a total of 17, which means he falls just short of Mia’s leading score.

“A magnificent score,” Trixie enthuses, “really well done, Dylan! How about it, everyone!” She elicits a rousing round of applause, as Dylan takes Manny over to meet the other daredevils.

“Okay,” says Joe, “let’s head off to the North-West, and join Lisa once more! This time she’s trailing around after Matt!”

Lisa is back at Matt’s house, scene of his dramatic makeover a fortnight ago. They are sitting on the sofa, each with a mug of either tea or coffee in their hand. Lisa’s tight white spandex top is leaving little to the imagination.

“So, Matt,” she asks, “a little bird tells me you’ve got a cunning plan for collecting your selfies!”

“That’s right,” he affirms, “I have!” He shows her a black top hat, on which has been stuck a piece of white paper with some writing on. When the camera zooms in, we see that the writing says, ‘Sponsored selfie seeking, please help!’

“Isn’t that a bit misleading?” she asks. “If not downright untruthful?!”

“No,” he retorts, “I’m being sponsored to get as many selfies as possible!”

“Who’s sponsoring you?”

“Me!”

“Right!”

At the Arndale centre in Manchester, Matt is standing in an open area not far from the bottom of a gently spiralling set of steps to the upper level. He has his hat on, but is not actually pestering people. It is, maybe, noteworthy that he is also wearing a pair of fake glasses. We wonder whether he has already encountered the recognition problem that his fellow choir members from last week have suffered.

As we watch, we can see that a reasonable number of people seem to be reading the message on his hat and stopping to enquire further.

“What’s it in aid of?” a middle-aged woman asks Matt.

“Royal Manchester Children’s Hospital,” he tells her.

“Go on then,” she replies, and stands next to Matt, allowing him to take a selfie with her. As she walks away, Matt gives us a grin and a thumbs-up.

We see Matt get selfies with various people, including a family who squeeze in for a group selfie. A vicar, wearing her dog collar, stops to chat, before she, too, poses for a selfie.

The next person we see him with is an elderly lady. She asks him what he is doing, and he replies that he’s being sponsored to get as many selfies as he can. When he mentions the hospital, she tells him at great length what a wonderful place it is and how much fabulous work they do.

“Can I get a selfie with you,” he asks her.

“Yes, of course, dear,” she tells him.

“Thanks,” he says, as he gets his phone out.

“Who are you phoning?”

“No, I’m taking a picture!”

“You can’t fool me!” she says, knowingly. “That’s not a camera!”

“No, it’s a phone that takes pictures!”

“Don’t be daft!”

“Really, it is!” he says, amazed that, in 2018, there is still someone who doesn’t know such a thing is possible.

“You’re having me on!” she insists.

“No, look,” he says, and takes a picture of her. He shows her the image.

She seems astonished! “Well, I’ve seen everything now! That’s good, isn’t it?! I don’t know what they’ll think of next!”

He tries again: “So, can I get a selfie?”

“What’s one of those, dear?”

“It’s a picture of me and you!”

“Why do you want a picture of me? I don’t even know you!”

Matt doesn’t appear to know whether to laugh or cry! We begin to wonder just how determined he is to get this particular selfie.

“I’m being sponsored to get selfies,” he reminds her.

“Oh, yes, you said,” she recalls. “For the children’s hospital, wasn’t it?!”

“Yes, that’s right!”

“Oh, they do a wonderful job,” she begins to tell him all over again. Before she can go on, he puts an arm around her shoulder, bends slightly to her level, and snaps his selfie.

“Thank-you!” he says.

“Is that it?” she asks him.

“Yeah, all done!”

“Oh, okay then!” and with that, she turns and walks off.

Matt looks into the camera and breathes an exaggerated sigh of relief.

The applause from the studio audience is enthusiastic once more, but Trixie is standing with her arms folded, looking rather serious.

“Now, Matt,” she begins, “there are one or two questions that need answering!”

Matt grins, clearly expecting this.

“Like, how do you sleep at night?!” she says, accusingly.

“Fine!” he tells her.

“Quite happy to con people into letting you get a selfie with them, then?”

“I didn’t con them, exactly,” he protests.

“Really? So how much did you sponsor yourself for?”

“I didn’t put a figure on it!”

“And how much have the Royal Manchester Children’s Hospital received?”

“Nothing, as yet,” he admits.

“Nothing!” she confirms.

“As yet!” he reminds her. “But,” he takes out a piece of paper from his pocket, “I’ve got a cheque for £200 that I’m going to hand over on Monday!”

A spontaneous round of applause bursts out, before Trixie says, “Well, let’s see whether that’s got you off the hook with Dan and Danielle.”

This is going to be an interesting decision from the two DAPAs! Danielle, always a stickler for the rules, gives Matt 4 points, but Dan decides, a little controversially, to award 7. Maybe he has been swayed by the £200 donation.

“Well, Matt,” Joe comments, “looks like you got away with it there! A bit controversial!”

As the applause for Matt fades, Trixie tells us, “Mia remains in the lead, and it’s still Ayla, Jaz, and Eilidh facing the Dare-Off. Will that change? Join us, after the break, on Britain’s Most Daring, to find out!”

“There’s no way he should have got 11 points!” exclaims Phil. “He broke the rules of the dare!”

“How?” asks Lissie.

“He told people why he wanted a selfie,” Phil reminds her.

“No, he didn’t!” she replies.

“Yes, he did,” Phil argues, “with the message on his hat.”

“But that wasn’t the real reason he was asking,” I point out.

“That doesn’t matter,” Phil tells me, “it was still giving a reason. He should have got marked right down!”

“Does it really matter?” asks Lissie.

“It might do to whoever gets booted off tonight!”

“I s’pose!” she acknowledges.