My first ever kinky partner was a fellow student in college. We connected when I dressed up in leather for a Halloween party. He was... intrigued, and kissed me at the party. After some subtle checks as to whether either of us were seriously interested or just flirting with kink for laughs, he offered to tie me up the next weekend. Our kink connection was AMAZING, but unfortunately, our personal styles had communication conflicts that led to a lot of unnecessary fights over vanilla issues -- and eventually split us up.
The next notable in-person kinky partner was a friend I'd also met in college, who had mentioned during a Truth or Dare game (or something similar) that he had fantasies about handcuffs. We were both dating other people at the time and it wasn't a big deal, but several years later we found ourselves at the same conference, and his college confession from years before encouraged me to pursue a potential relationship now we were both single. In that case, he was a great guy -- but our kinks didn't overlap quite as well, and that and other things led to strain even though we were both happily kinky in our own ways.
I met my current kinky partner* through a casual-dating ad for a very specific scenario. I was reading them mostly for entertainment and hadn't been answering any, but this one was just so playful and positive that I couldn't resist -- even though the scenario itself wasn't something I was looking for longer-term. I just had to say hello and compliment him on his posting. We met for introductions and the beginning of his outlined scenario, and connected so well over time that we just kept going.
*It's still a "casual" relationship today, and I have room in my life for a more full-time partner if I do meet the next Right Person, but I'm grateful for the kink connection every day.
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