[Butterfly]

Originally Posted by RedMike

I wouldnt even call it "topping from the bottom" if the sub just disobeys.

I disagree. I feel that if the Sub is disobeying or saying No without an explanation of any kind, this is a version of topping from the bottom. They are making the decisions without communicating a real concern or reason not to.

Originally Posted by RedMike

But while this seem to be such a mean manipulative thing to do i think i should mention that you can do it accidently or slip into it. I think i have done it myself allready, maybe even more than once. For me its something that developes out of beeing unsure and not wanting to talk about myself becaus it feely kind of bad. And that of cause can be solved with talking. But of cause it can turn into a serious problem it the sitiuation keeps going and the whole realationship stops beeing truthfull. And of cause it should be considerd as a major case of breaking the rules so it wont happen again

I do agree that manipulation can happen without the person being aware of it. I still think this would be considered topping from the bottom, even if it wasn't the intention.

Originally Posted by RedMike

So i think the more open an truthfull the conversation is the lower is the risk for a topping from the bottom thing to happen.
And of cause talking makes the paly better. It makes it easier for the dom to read the sub, to find out eacu others likes and dislikes and of cause words can be hot.

I agree that the more open the communication is in a relationship, the more this term becomes obsolete. If the sub feels comfortable with sharing their thoughts, feelings and experiences with their Dom, then they won't need to try and manipulate things to get what they want and need out of a relationship.