[bluedieblub]

I'm.... done. I'm not sure how I managed that. 650+ edges in 3 days... I was a horny mess and I loved it.
To everyone who participated in the thread, I have already thanked you during my THANKS edges, but once again, thank you all for driving my crazy in all the right ways.
Today has been a rollercoaster. I didn't think I would be ending it today. While not too many edges remained, there were many SUCKS remaining which would take quite a bit of time, and I thought I wouldn't be in the mood after it. I was utterly wrong about that last part. After doing my SUCKS I rushed through the remaining edges, doing another 80 or so within an hour, and earning my freedom.
Almost at least, one final multi-part task remained that AnalAddict set for me:

Originally Posted by AnalAddict

The 5 Senses of a Slut

Somewhere along the line, you discovered you were a slut. Hard to accept at first, but the more you revel in the sensations of your body and the feeling of being used, the more you realise it's true. You own it now, you really are a slut, and it's lovely and perfect and exactly as it should be. After the acceptance comes the discovery journey of all you can be.


Sight and sound: a slut only sees what he's allowed to see; a slut only hears what he's permitted to hear

Equipment: blindfold (or scarf or towel), noise-cancelling headphone / earplugs / earphones, paper, marker, something to attach paper to your walls

What is a slut without arousal and the need to touch and pleasure? But who says you get to decide where your eyes stray or what your ears pick up while you're searching your pleasure?

Strip naked. Take the blindfold and get on your knees, legs spread wide. Put the headphones or alternative on, as well as the blindfold. In the void you're finding yourself, think about all the things you've done to yourself--the spanking until you were bruised, the hard fucking of your tight asshole until it gaped, gagging and drooling on your dildo. You know you've loved every single moment, despite or maybe because of that little twinge of humiliation deep in your gut.

Reward yourself for your slutty behaviour and stroke yourself, reveling in the silence and darkness that allows you to only hear your own thoughts. Edge thinking about the fact that you wouldn't even know if someone walked in right now and saw you sitting like this. Edge again, riding your shame for enjoying that thought. Don't stop until you've edged 5 times.

Now hands off your cock. Besides some minor exceptions, you won't be touching it anymore until the last part of your discovery journey. Better work fast, hmmmm?

Take off the headphones and the blindfold. At this point, you have a choice to make. For each of the items below, you get to choose if you'll write them on yourself with the marker, or if you will write them on pieces of paper. Those pieces of paper will be stuck to the wall and left there at least 24 hours. If you can't because of exposure, you really only have one choice, I guess...

The items you'll write on your body or on paper are inspired by the tally of your thread:

-----
300 x SPANKED
706 x EDGED
GAGGED AND DROOLING
THANK YOU
----

If you choose to go the paper route, you'll write the words as large and bold as you can and will tape them around one of the rooms in your place that you use often, so you get to see everything you've done to yourself because we ordered you to.

Having prepared all the materials for all the tasks in advance, I put on my blindfold and my headphones. My housemate should have been coming home for another 3 hours, so I put on some white noise to make sure I couldn't hear anything, opened the door of my room, and kneeled naked facing the door.
To say I was aroused is an understatement. I had just finished my long edging journey and really really looked forward to this task. Being in the void, knowing I wouldn't notice it if anyone came by, displaying myself out in the open, really really turned me on. The 7 edges were done in the blink of an eye, at least mine since they only opened again after the blindfold was off.

I had amended the writing task, opting to both of them. Decorating my walls are now four a4 sheets of papers showing what I have done over the last four days. No matter where I look, there is always one in sight to remind me. I can tell you, this is a great way to remind me what I have done. It does not fail to put a grin on my face.
I copied to writing on my body as well, which I am noticing everytime I am naked. Together with the papers, they are exactly what a slut should be seeing all day, and serve as a great reminder of what happened.

Originally Posted by AnalAddict

Taste and smell: A slut loves the taste and smell of his own despair

Equipment: Ball gag, toothpaste, your large plug that allows you to gag on it, a mirror to kneel in front of

There is a slutty taste of despair. The one that leaves your mouth dry when you're being denied. The one that fills you mouth when you're gagging on a dildo. Let's discover more.

Before you get to do anything else, you need to taste your own pleasure. If there's any precum on your cock, you will put it on your finger (no further touching!) and suck it clean. Anytime you see a drop of pre-cum for the rest of the journey, you will do the same. Until you're all too familiar with the taste of your pleasure.

Now take your ballgag and put a good dose of toothpaste on it before gagging yourself. Kneel in front of the mirror and stay still for 7 minutes. Enough time for the mundane taste of toothpaste to inexplicably turn you on. Oh, and enough time to look at yourself covered in writing (or not, at which point you may want to reflect on that choice).

After your time admiring your slutty body is done, get ready to deepthroat the plug on your knees in front of the mirror. Can you smell the material of the plug? And the toothpaste you're getting all over it?

You will gag yourself on that plug for at least 5 minutes, take it deep each time you go down on it, and take your time to keep it at the back of your throat for a while with each instroke. Your drool might wash away the toothpaste before you, you know, have to do something else with it. If you're afraid there's still too much toothpaste transferred on the plug, you better suck for longer. Your choice.

Don't clean the plug afterwards, you're going to need it. Oh, and check if you have some more pre-cum to taste.

One thing to note here: I hate toothpaste. It's messy and hard to clean. While the feeling on most place the feeling is okay and maybe bordering pleasurable, I can't stand the stinging sensation of it on either my genitals or internal. Last time I used it internal, I had to safeword out.

That being said, let's continue. Very little precum was available, I was sure by now that my balls had learned to let nothing leave their confined space. Sadly this was not true as I would find out later, but for now, only the tiniest bit was present.

Covering the toothpaste in ballgag was fun and scary. I wasn't quite sure how much would end up on the plug, but I figured I could always deepthroat it more to get it off, so I used it liberally. My tall mirror is in a communal hallway (don't ask why it is hanging there of all places) with my housemate, so once again I ended up outside my room. Kneeling in front of the mirror I enjoyed the sorry sight of myself. Writing all over my body, and a gagged mouth that was slowly but surely leaking toothpaste all over. The taste was indeed one of despair. I felt the toothpaste tingling on the roof of my mouth, my lips and my tongue, and wondered how much would get stuck on the plug.

After the 7-minute alarm went off, I removed the gag, temporarily putting it on a tissue to make sure I didn't get toothpaste everywhere. Getting my plug I started deepthroating. After a few deepthroats, I widened up and put a towel down for everything that dripped down. The inside of my mouth was covered in toothpaste, and after the first few deepthroats I could see streaks of toothpaste covering it. Seeing that made me scared, excited, and more importantly, very submissive. Knowing that the only way to clean this thing was to keep on deepthroating and hoping it would go away, I set to it. Deepthroating the plug was very very hard today. It is quite wide and normally I start by deepthroating my dildo to warm my throat up. I didn't have that foresight today. It barely wanted to go in, often needing a slight push to push past which of course triggers the gag reflex. I was drooling spit combined with toothpaste getting a blue/pink streak down my beard as it mingled into it. Streaks of it ran down my chest all the way down to the towel on the floor. Tears were slowly streaming from my eyes as I forced the plug in each time, and held it there when I could. I loved it.

If I wasn't feeling so submissive, I would have stopped halfway through from the discomfort. Luckily for me, I was feeling submissive, and I could enjoy the feeling of something literally forcing itself into my throat over and over. The toothpaste was slowly disappearing from my plug, which I was feeling very happy about. On the other hand, that means that all the toothpaste that was in my mouth, was now all over my body, making a total mess of it. After 7 minutes of deep throating, I was wondering how much longer I needed to force myself on the plug. The answer was, I was done 2 minutes ago, but apparently there was no sound or I missed the sound. Slightly peeved, but not too worried as doing it longer was allowed, I continued with the next task.

Originally Posted by AnalAddict

Touch: A slut's hands are made for touching--cock and ass and nipples and balls and everything that brings him pleasure.


Equipment: the plug you've been drooling over, two rubber bands

You've come to the final part of the journey. The summum for any slut is to touch and be touched. Now is the time for it, though you'll have to wait to touch your cock until the very end.

For this, take place on a bed or somewhere you feel comfortable. Unless you want to continue looking at yourself. In that case, be my guest.

First, you get to touch your ass. Lube it. Stretch it with one, then two fingers. Not more. Wouldn't want to take away the pleasure of the plug. Now slowly insert the plug inside of your body and hope that the sting of toothpaste won't appear. If it does, you clearly didn't gag enough on the previous part of your journey.

Touch is a versatile thing. There's pleasure, but there's also pain. I think your inner thighs will agree. Even more so after you've marked the skin with the rubber band. You'll find instructions below on how to do that. Discover the touch of a rubber band 15 times on each thigh. Watch the lovely marks and feel the pleasure-pain seep deep inside your skin and being.

Now, it's time for your nipples. Touch them, tease them until they're hard. If you manage, wrap a rubber band around each nipple and enjoy the increasing tightness. You will leave them until you've reached orgasm at the end of this task. If it doesn't work, you get to mark them instead. Use the same technique as below on your nipples, five times on each.

Time for the final part of the journey. Let your hands roam and enjoy the touch, down your chest and stomach to your hipbones. Let them wander along your thighs to the inside of your knees and then back up again along the inside of your marked thighs. Is the skin swollen there? Are the marks etched into your skin?

And finally, finally you get to touch your cock again. While you stroke, feel the plug inside of you--clench around it. Feel the bands around your nipples or the marks you left there. Feel the sting on your thighs.

Feel the edge. Reach it four times without coming. You get to decide how long you wait between each edge, depending on how rushed you are to get to the end of the road. When you reach the edge the fifth time, let yourself fall over it.

Well done, little slut.


Enjoy your discovery


Instructions for the rubber bands if needed:
Loop the band around your thumb and index finger, spread your hand apart to make some tension to keep it from slipping off your hand.

Then rest your thumb tip and fingertip on the skin of your inner thigh. There will be two pieces of elastic you can pull on if you've kept your hand spread apart.

The band that is directly touching your skin (palm side) will hurt the most so with your other hand pinch the bottom band and pull it upwards until you feel that you're almost going to break the band. Release your pinch and watch the marks appear.

One final task remaining. I lubed up my finger and slowly slid it inside my. Fingering myself always feels very very dirty. Feeling the inside of your anus and deriving pleasure from it is a humiliating, yet fanatastic feeling. Using plenty of lube I worked my finger in and out, getting the inside well lubed up, especially since I would not be allowed to put any lube on the plug itself. Once it slid out easily, I lubed up the second finger. Can you believe I've never had more than 1 finger in there? I tried it when I was just starting with anal, but it always hurt too much and I stopped. I didn't have the same problem with the dildo and plugs, so I skipped all out over using more fingers. I can tell you, I missed something. If 1 finger feels dirty, than 2 is much much more so. This is no longer just probing it, seeing how it feels. This goes in the category of properly fucking your own ass. It made me feel like a slut, and I reveled in the feeling of having my ass violated in this way.

After a light fucking of my ass and getting plenty of lube in there, I slowly but surely inserted the large plug. Fucking myself slightly with it to get it in, it slid in the full length after not too much effort. I was slightly worried there might have been toothpaste remaining on it that I just couldn't see, but that was a false alarm. No pain. No stinging sensation. Just a pleasurable filled ass which I could clench to feel what was inside me.

Continuing on with the rubber bands. Did I already mention that my thighs are still blue and purple from all the spanking you people have gifted me? Do you know what happens if you hit an already bruised area with a rubber band? It hurts. A lot! Normally I really like the feeling of rubber bands. The slight stinging sensation of it snapping. The control you have over where it snaps so you can either hit the same spot or a different one. On a bruise, it is no longer a slight stinging sensation. It's a sharp pain, a very very sharp pain. Especially if you keep hitting the same spot because you are a submissive mess that doesn't want to disappoint, and loves making things worse for himself. Each hit made me gasp in pain. The first hits were still in the realm of pleasurable pain. The further I got, the more they went towards the pain pain side of things. The last few? Definitely pain pain. They made me squirm around on the bed, feeling the afterpain for several seconds. No pleasure, but I was satisfied none the less. I could do this. Hurting myself for anothers amusement and giving up my control, only made me feel more submissive. I wouldn't have lasted much longer snapping the same spot with the rubber bands, but I didn't need to either.

On to the next task of teasing my nipples. Slowly but surely they grew harder, and my breath was getting ragged from all the arousal. Sadly my nipples do not poke out far enough to wrap the bands around them, so 5 more hits with a rubber band. As I found out today, my nipples are apparently pretty sensitive to rubber band snaps. Not nearly as much as my bruised thighs, but I was definitely gasping from the pain.

The final task of the dare. My hands roamed around my body. Softly stroking over my sensitive spots. Feeling my bruises and how they give a slightly tingling pain when I roam over them. Small difference in textures on my thighs and nipples, where the flesh is just ever so slightly different from the rest from the hits with the rubber bands. I felt so aware of my own body, it was delicious. I started stroking myself, getting to the edge rather quickly twice.

At that moment I was feeling absolutely in bliss. I was in subspace, feeling the need to have no control over what I was doing. I stroked faster trying to hit the edge... except I couldn't. I couldn't reach the edge anymore. I was thinking to myself, do I really deserve this orgasm? Do I want this? And that just blocked me. My mind started spinning in worse and worse directions. What if I can't cum? What if I do? Do I deserve to cum? While still incredibly aroused, I was no longer mentally feeling like I deserved the orgasm or even wanted it. I couldn't push myself over anymore.

I opened GetDare to see if AnalAddict was online, and seeing whether she could give me permission to truly go through with the orgasm. Whether she would have me ruin my orgasm, see me denied, or even relube my plug with toothpaste which would probably have trigged my limits. It's strange getting in such a destructive subby state. I know it's irrational, and yet I can't help myself. Since she seemed to be online I send her a message. As soon as I did, the edging block was gone. It was out of my hands. My orgasm wasn't my own anymore, and I would live with any choice that was made for me.

I edged quickly and often, waiting to see whether a response came in. I convinced myself to wait 20 minutes at most, as technically I already had permission. Before I got to that time however, I lost control. I held my orgasm back for 10 seconds while I felt it coming and coming, but there was no holding it back this time. I came... and ruined my orgasm. I could have lived with myself if I hadn't ruined it, and followed the instructions. Ruining it on the other hand... I was devastated. Ashamed. The worst part was that it felt so damn good for my body to finally have an orgasm. My body was in a bliss from finally getting to release itself. Even without touching myself for 10 seconds, I felt small tendrils of pleasure crawling through me. I have never felt so conflicted. I send out one more message letting AnalAddict know what happened, being prepared for the worst. Feeling like I needed the worst, desired it. I spent the next 30 minutes or so in a depressed mood, feeling like I had failed in the worst way.

I finally got a message back, she was taking a nap as she was exhausted, which I do not blame her for in any which way. Hell, it was presumptuous of me to even ask. Instead of a message with a sadistic task to make up for it, it was however laced with kindness and compassion. It was exactly what I needed at the moment, even if I would never have asked for it in the mood I was in, or even thought of it. I was reassured that things were not going wrong, just unexpected. That I do deserve this orgasm after everything I had done, and that I still deserve one even after ruining it.

Attached to the message was one more orgasming task, as gentle as you can have it. It started by adding the word RUINED on my body to admit that it was a mistake. I was asked to slowly build up my arousal by teasing myself over my entire body, only stroking myself when I was ready. My mind was focused on my own body slowly building the heat. My arousal came quickly, but I kept it slow, refusing to stroke until I felt the need. Determine to feel the care that she had put into her message.



Once I finally started stroking myself, it felt sooo good. It kept myself around the high level of desire. Aroused, wanting to orgasm, but not anywhere close. Focused on myself, with few stray thoughts in between. I stayed in that state for an unknown duration, my arousal building and descending in waves up and down. Down from the slow, teasing stroking. Up from knowing that I should be feeling pleasure and indeed do deserve my orgasm.

After yet another unknown amount of time, as I had neither the inclination or the state of mind to keep track. I started speeding my stroking up. The feelings of desire build, but once again I was getting nearer to the edge, but not reaching it. My mind tried to jump back to a negative spiral, thinking what I could do to myself to make me earn it. I quickly tossed out those thoughts as soon as I spotted them. I had my permission, in the most kind words I have ever gotten it. I refused to think about anything else and throwing that away. Instead, I looked at my marks.

Spanked x200 on my thighs, just above the bruise that was the result of all of them.
Edged x707 on my loins, to show what I have done to get here.
Gagged and Drooling, to represent the stream of toothpaste and spit that spilled down me mere hours ago.
Thank you, showing the approval and help of the getdarians.
Ruined, as a penance to show that I had one, and that it is forgiven.

Thinking about everything that happened, my desire built and built. I couldn't have hold back if I wanted to, and this time there was no such thing as wanting to hold back. I heard your giving permission in my mind, and I came harder and longer than I ever have before. I was a mess, physically and mentally. I didn't care. I put the covers over me and sank deep inside myself. Shivering... Panting... Crying. I couldn't be more happy. I send her another message thanking her, and turned of the light.

I'm currently still floating on a little cloud as I am writing this, it's been about 4 hours after my orgasm. While I was in bliss when I started writing this, my emotions started raging again as I wrote this. Happiness, bliss, even some tears of joy that this worked out so well in the end after the disaster it could have been.

I want to thank each and every one of you that contributed to this thread for giving me this wonderful journey with all the ups and downs. I was a complete mess during the week, and while I certainly won't repeat these kind of threads when I actually need to work, I am certainly consider making a different one. For now, I'm a lost little happy submissive lamb. Not quite sure where I want to go from here. Maybe I'll dive more into the submissiveness. Maybe I'll take a little break. I'll decide when my mind is not doing loops. For now I'll slowly float towards my bed on my cloud of happy feelings.