So.
Aside from the dialogue, which seems to have been drawn from the Twilight saga (still, so was 50 shades of grey, you may be onto something) and the sketchy plot, poor description and juvenile writing style.... forgiving all those, try using a spellcheck. While you are at it, kindly take a course in grammar and punctuation.
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I love IceMaiden. She is my everything. She is mine and I am hers.
I am extremely happy with the wonderful girl I have.
I do NOT want anyone else. This includes casual play
or giving tasks/punishments. Do not ask!!
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