[redcamel]

Chapter 4 - The surrender

I didn't met Lea again for almost one month, she called me to say that the examination went well, but the final results would have been known after about twenty days. After twenty days she called to tell me that the examination went well, and she had the job. She sounded very happy, and told me that she wanted to invite me out for dinner to celebrate and thank me for my help. We agreed that we would have fixed a day once she would have received her first wage.

After few days, by chance I was near Lea's house, it was about 9pm, and I wondered if I could find her at home. She was living in the house inherited from her parents, a beautiful single house with a garden around it. I could see the light turned on, so I decided to ring the bell. She opened the door, cheered, and let me in. She was dressed in a home attire, and since it was already pretty warm, it consisted in a light gauze nightgown. She welcomed me, then lead me in the living room, and let me sit on a comfortable armchair, while she sat in the couch in front of me. Entering the room, she was preceding, me, and against the light I could clearly tell that she was completely naked under the nightgown, except for white cotton panties. This particular reminded me of the events of a month earlier in my home, the way she surrendered to me, enjoying to be exposed, touched and masturbated up to an orgasm and at the same time keeping part of her shyness and modesty, not allowing me to expose her completely. I decided to play it rough.

- I see you aren't wearing any bra this evening

She blushed suddenly - lovely...

- Why do you say?

- When you were at my home, I always saw you wearing a bra, now the darker shade of your areolas shows clearly that you aren't wearing any.

She suddenly covered her tits with her forearms. I stood up and sat on the couch next to her, then slowly started sliding her nightgown up on her thighs. She stopped my hand, but doing so she had to uncover her tits, so bent her chest over her thighs to protect at the same time tits and legs.

- What's the problem Lea? You weren't so shy at my house, at the opposite I'd say that you enjoyed it

She lifted her torso, pulling down the hem of the nightgown, then covered again her tits.

- Please, stop your hands for a little, let's talk.

- Ok, tell me.

- Well... as first, you're right, my body liked what you did me at your house... but after I felt guilty and ashamed...

- Why? - she waited some seconds, staring into my eyes, probably trying to decide if she could trust me, then started telling

- My father died when I was 12 years old, then I lived with my mother. When I was fourteen, I met a boy, a couple of years older than me... I liked him a lot... One day he went to my house, my mother was out of home, we sat on this couch, started kissing, then touching then... Well, quickly my skirt was raised, in a little my panties were gone, and in less time my virginity was lost... But maybe I lost the sense of time, or my mother came back home earlier than expected, I don't know, just she came suddenly into the living room, I had the time to lower my skirt and he to pull up his trousers, but she saw my panties on the floor, and immediately understood what happened. She was furious, immediately kicked my boyfriend away, yelling at him that she was going to report him for rape of a minor. I was crying desperately, tried to tell her that there was no rape, that I was absolutely consenting, that I loved him. This had the only effect to increase her fury. When he was out of home, she raised my skirt and saw the blood spots between my legs, and had the confirmation that the damage was already done. Suddenly she seemed to calm down, then, with a voice that didn't leave any room for replies said "Now, slut, strip naked!". Shocked and trembling I took off all of my clothes, remaining completely naked in front of my mother. Feeling shy I tried to cover my crotch and tits, but she shouted "Put your hands over your head, whore, you don't deserve to cover yourself after what you've done. Now follow me.". She led me to the storage room where she kept the brooms, then closed me inside, in the complete darkness, since the light switch was outside the room. She left me there three whole days, making me see the light only to eat or use the Wc. After three days she let me out, we went to the living room, she pulled me on my knees and sat in front of me. "Now, little slut, tell me that you're sorry for what you did.". "Mom, I'm really sorry for what I did. I..." "Don't add a word! Now you will learn to be a good girl. You will go out only for school, and for no other reason if not allowed by me. You will wear only clothes of my choice, it means long skirts below the knee, and loose sweaters, your body will never be so exposed to tease or arouse boy's desires. Everyday you'll have to write 100 lines saying 'I must be a good girl and keep my modesty.' 200 saying 'I'm not made for sex' and 300 saying 'I'm ugly, and no one would like to touch me.', I'll check that you write them properly, and you'll do it until I'll say you can stop". At this point I was crying desperately, but I knew that she had a strong character, a lot stronger than mine, so I had no way to avoid my fate. In the first times it was very difficult, but over time I got used to this routine, and obeying all her orders became my lifestyle, I wouldn't have argued for any reason. After about one year my lines writing routines has been revoked, and things seemed to have found a stability. But some pulsion was difficult to repress, and one day she caught me masturbating in the shower. She went on a rampage and closed me in the storage room again for three days. I spent the three days crying and pleading, I was desperate, I knew that I behave bad at her eyes, and would have liked to be able to avoid it, but I wasn't strong enough. After the three days I was again kneeling naked in front of her. She told me that, since I was such a slut unable to control her cunt, I would be allowed to masturbate once a week, kneeling naked in front of her. She would have told me when to cum, and I would have had ten seconds to cum from then. If I would have had the desire to masturbate in other moments, I had to resist. To help controlling myself I had to bring always a clothespin with me, and if I was unable to resist, I had to apply the clothespin at my unhooded clit and show her what I was doing. I was already desperate, but she wanted to give me immediately an example of my future. Told me to masturbate, immediately. I was awfully ashamed to masturbate in front of my mother, but I had to do it. When I was excited enough, she told me to cum, and started counting ten seconds. Of course, 'cause of the odd situation I wasn't able to have an orgasm, and she stopped me after ten seconds, then made me unhood my clit, and applied a clothespin to it. The pain was unbearable, but she said that it was what I deserved for being such a lewd slut, and despite of my screams and cries she left it there for 30 seconds before letting me take it away, that made me scream even louder. So, I spent the following years being trained to control and repress any erotic and sexual drive, being used to have my sexual life controlled and to obey. Especially after my mother got sick and needed more attention, her control on me become even more strict. Despite of this, I have to admit that I wasn't so unhappy, and I loved my mother until the last day of her life.

I didn't interrupt her while telling her story, but when she finished, she realized that got distracted and uncovered her breasts, and immediately covered them again, blushing .

- I see. Not an easy youth. But your mother died two years ago, maybe the things changed after...

- Yes, but 'cause of the long training I was subjected, the things changed worst. As first, not having anymore her to allow me cum, I used the clothespin to avoid cumming at all

- So, it's two years that you don't masturbate?

- Not exactly, but let me continue. Except depriving myself of the orgasms, I wasn't able to change anything else of my life. Being for years strictly under control, being constantly told what to do or not to do, what to wear or not to wear, having even my sexual life totally in the hands of someone else, was not only a lifestyle, but with the years I found my balance in this, and it became my true nature. So now I am what I've been forced to be from the moment I lost my virginity, and now I don't see any reason to change it: what I really and only want is to be what I am now, and I don't want absolutely even imagine a different me, no matter how difficult my life can be. What I really miss is the control. I feel lost without somebody controlling me, I feel somehow unbalanced and without reference points, I never know if I'm doing right or wrong. For years the only thing that made sense in my life was following what was chosen for me and I was told to, and now this sense is missing. My friends try to help me giving me good advices, so I do some things that I think I should do for living, as, i.e., the competition to have a job, but what I need, what I crave are not advices, are impositions.

- But you let me masturbate too, and you had also an orgasm

- The couple of months that I spent receiving lessons from you was the first light that I could saw in so much time. The first five weeks of study I felt relieved to have finally somebody that told me what to do, and I applied at my best not to disappoint you

- Yes, I noticed...

- But the first simulation of examination was amazing, being put under pressure, made feel so controlled, so overwhelmed, was a sensation incredible, like if after a long time under water I went out to breath, but my awkwardness made me behave like a bad girl and show my body, my tits, without being ordered to, and it made me sink underwater again. I failed, and I was desperate because I acted like a stupid little slut. It was a relief when you called to tell that you weren't upset for this. And the fact that you asked me to wear the same sweater was the proof that you weren't (still) considering me a slut. And what you made after, using my tits to prize or punish me was beautiful: I tried not to show it, because I was afraid to look like a slut, but having my body used for a specific purpose made me feel good, so good that I started feeling excited, so anytime I came home after the examinations simulations I masturbated, for the first time in years. Of course, since I wasn't requested nor allowed to cum, I always ended up with the clothespin on my clit to prevent me having an orgasm. And, how it ended was for me absolutely incredible: you taking the control of my body, touching me, exciting me, and finally masturbating me upon my first orgasm in years has been a lot more than what I could desire.

- And now? What's the problem now? - a long hesitant pause

- Well, you did all of this being completely unaware of what it represented for me. This fact made me end up considering all of that like a vacation, a magic moment that is ended, nice to remember, but nothing to dream about. That's why I stopped you when you were about to remove my bra and panties, I was enjoying all of that because I craved it, but I knew well that I wasn't submitted to you, I was just pretending to be submitted just because I needed it, so I didn't feel like to let you access to the most intimate of my body. And the same is now, but I don't want to fake anymore. I feel guilty for having been so selfish, and trust me that since you masturbated me, I never did it anymore. I often fantasized remembering all of those moments, but I used my clothespin anytime I felt the need to touch me, painfully torturing my clit to be sure not to fall into temptation. But now you are tempting me again, and it's hard to resist.... Please tell me, sincerely: are you just making fun of an ugly desperate girl, or are you seriously interested about me? And if you're serious, now that you know the whole story, will still be serious or will just consider me as something it's not worth to mess with?

She was deeply breathing, and looked really distressed for telling me those things

- None of the two, Lea. I'm not making fun of you, but if asking me if I'm seriously interested, you want to know if I'm looking to establish a stable relationship, I'd lie if I say yes. For now, I'm just playing, and inviting you to play with me, and have fun together as two young adults. Now that I know the whole story, and your frame of mind, I find even more intriguing the idea that we could play together, because I feel like we are complementary each other. I don't know where this game could bring us, the only thing I can assure is that, if you accept, maybe I will hurt you, but you won't suffer.

She remained silent for long seconds, then looked at me with a serious expression, slid down the couch kneeling on the floor, and uncovered her tits leaving her areolas exposed in transparence.

- You can't imagine how I'm scared for what I'm doing.... I'm waiting for your orders, Sir!