I like it, but it might be getting a little repetitive. You might have started too harsh too soon, leaving you nowhere to go...? On the other hand you might have even better, twisted ideas - and I will be waiting to find out :-)
I'm glad there's only one negative reply so far. So what if there are "illegal acts" in the story - ? There are illegal acts in every mainstream murder, crime or horror story ever created. It's fiction.
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