Freeze they keys to your cuffs, chastity belt, and lockable onsie in a plastic bottle of water (or ice cubes). The next time your roommate leaves, you must put in your butt plug, and put on your chastity belt, cuffs, and onsie. And flip a coin, if it is heads you must also wear a diaper, tails must remain how you are. As soon as everything is in order, you may take out the frozen keys. Hope they melt fast!
Any chance to get a wedgie related one??