@ManicD: If you don't like a story, could you please in the future explain why and/or even make suggestions on how writers could make it better? Just saying stuff like what you wrote above isn't constructive at all. Everyone who writes stories here make a lot of effort in their work & they deserve better.
@Tessdog: Don't be discouraged with one bad critic, please! Personally, I was enjoying this story so far.
I hope you come back on your decision to close it...