Fog was rolling in from what seemed like every direction and the already dim visibility beyond the rain in the darkness began to disappear; leaving nothing but a few feet in front of me that I was able to see clearly. The dark was not my friend. My mind’s imagination was capable of running too wild when I could only hear and not see what was around me. But all of this was out of my control. I was still seven miles away from my destination.
There was nothing but forest and one two lane gravel road between me and my grandfather’s property. My car ran out of gas half a mile back. The choice was mine, I remembered. I’m the one that decided to spend the last $12 in my account on two Mike’s Hard Lemonades and a pack of smokes. I clutched one of the cans in my hand and brought it up to my lips. Sipping down the last swig it contained and chucking it into the ditch beside me as I continued to walk alone. I knew my decisions weren’t currently the best, but I had a hard time letting the stress of my life roll off my back sometimes. After all, the only reason I’m on my way to grandpa’s is because my mother died. Otherwise I would have never come back to this shit-hole town.
I peered up at the sky as I continued to shuffle my feet. Reaching into my coat pocket I pulled out the last drink I had, the one that was going to put me where I wanted to be. That fuzzy, inebriated feeling that would distract me from reality. I wasn’t scared. I had walked this road a thousand times before, just maybe not this far of a journey down it. I managed to escape this town as soon as I graduated high school at the age of 18. Opting to attend college in a different state versus my own. Wisconsin just wasn’t where I wanted to be anymore.
I was arriving to help my grandfather pick up the pieces of my mothers life that she had just so quickly left behind. My mother was an addict, I thought to myself. The only reason I’m here is to help grandpa go through her things. My grandfather had called me three days ago to let me know she had overdosed out in the field. He told me he had found her clinging to a syringe just around the side of the daisy patch out back; the morning sun beating on her pale skin as she lie motionless. I shuddered at the thought; how horrible that must have been for him. And with that I opened my drink and took a large gulp. Here we go.
I pulled out my phone and turned it on. It was almost dead, but I needed an idea of what time it was. I may have only walked a mile and a half so far, but it had felt more like four. 12:13am. I couldn’t call my grandfather for a ride. He was already asleep and I knew he couldn’t hear the phone ring from his bedroom anyway. I was on my own. Just as I had been for the last six years, all until now.
The longer I looked ahead the more it felt like I was walking into a void. I could feel the gravel under my feet, but I couldn’t see it any longer; just a thick layer of fog beneath my knees.Taking another drink I decided to think nothing of it. I was on a long drunk walk to grandpa’s and nothing was getting in my way -- fog could only affect my vision, and that was beginning to blur anyway.
Another mile passed and my last drink was gone. Feeling slightly annoyed by that fact I crushed it in my hand before tossing it aside just as I had done the other. As it flew to my right I saw a reflection of light and turned around. Still walking in the same direction, but now walking backwards, I noticed there was a car coming. This was a small enough town that I would be safe to try to hitch-hike, but at the same time it was so small that there was a very high likelihood that this would be someone I once knew; and I wasn’t really in the best frame of mind. With one swift kick I whipped myself back around. I didn’t need a ride and I sure as hell wasn’t going to ask for one.
The car kept making its way. Closer and closer to me until I was sure that the driver could tell there was a person in the road. I moved farther right, stepping off the gravel and allowing the driver far more than his fair share of road. I heard the tires slowing down, shaking the gravel more so than causing it to fly about the air. This person was going to stop, I thought to myself. I continued forward, quickening my pace and now lighting a cigarette between my two fingers. I heard the car start to speed up, and then all of a sudden the tires came to a halt. The bright yellow beams of two headlights flooded around me and I hesitated to turn around. I wasn’t scared. This was my town. But at the same time, this situation was a weird one, even for me.
The click of the door popping open echoed through the forest and I spun around to watch the driver climb out of it. It was a man, that’s all I could tell for sure with him standing on the other side of the lights.
“Its a real odd time for you to decide to go on a walk, Annie,” he said to me, while slowly making his way closer -- out of the shadows and into the beaming rays of the headlights, but I didn’t need him to. I knew who he was. And this is why I didn’t want to try to hitch-hike.
I sucked in another breath of smoke and then blew it above my head. “Yeah, well I don’t think it should really concern you much, Charlie. I don’t remember sticking my thumb out and screaming for you to stop,” I sneered.
“Its not safe for someone like you out here, Annie. You know it,” he countered, stepping closer so that I could touch him if I wanted to, but that so wasn’t going to happen.
“Oh, yeah, its so scary. A bear might walk up an eat me. A coyote might come along and chew my leg off. Or just laugh at the way I walk. I’m terrified, Charlie.”
Charlie was my first real boyfriend. We dated from freshman year of high school all the way up until the day we graduated, and that’s when I ended things. He was great but he wanted to be here and I just so didn’t. My mind needed a challenge and my body needed a change. I needed to get away from Mineral Point and he always wanted to stay. He never did quite get over that the way that someone should, but it didn’t bother me anymore; especially since I never came here anymore, to this hellhole town. Until now.
“That's not what I mean, Annie. You KNOW what I mean,” he replied, allowing the frustration to show in his voice. “Its a small town, but you’re a small girl. And people go missing here all the time. Maybe you should come with me,” he finally blurted out.
He wasn’t lying. We’d been dealing with multiple missing persons cases in my hometown for the last decade -- starting long before I had ever gotten away. But those people, those missing people, always seemed to be troubled in some way, similar to my mother. Drug addicts, prostitutes and ex-cons. Those were the people who went missing. Not me.
“Absolutely not. I’m not in the mood for your bullshit, Charlie. My car broke down. It’s not like I picked now to just walk down the road with no real purpose in mind. And again I didn’t ask you to stop for me. I can take care of myself.” I turned away from him immediately and began walking in the direction of my grandfather’s house again. I didn’t care what he thought, especially right now. I was two drinks in on an empty stomach and he wasn’t the kind of company I was wanting to keep.
“Fine,” he grunted while climbing back in his car and slamming the door shut. “Fucking walk then!” He flashed on his brights and hit the gas, shooting gravel around me.
Fucking asshole. No one asked for his damn help.
I lit another cigarette and continued my journey; smoking it slowly as to try an reduce some of my now pent up anxiety. Who does he think he is driving up to a woman in the middle of the night!?
Another hour passed and I was finally reaching my half way mark; only three and a half miles left until I could climb onto grandpa’s couch and sleep till I was sober again. I’d been walking most of this way with my head down, as there was not much to look at in the darkness; however, that all changed when I saw headlights again -- this time coming towards me instead of behind me. I had the faint hope that it was my grandfather. Out looking for me as he knew I was on my way tonight. I couldn’t be so lucky though.
Pulling up in his red Chevy Cruze was none other than Charlie, once again. I snapped as he stepped out of his vehicle in front of me for the second time tonight.
“What. The fuck. Are you doing here!?” I screamed at him. I was beyond done. I had already asked him to leave, I didn’t care if he was concerned. I wasn’t a kind drunk and I wasn’t in the mood to talk to him or entertain even his glance. He and I shared nothing, not even to discuss anymore.
“I’m here to take you home, you selfish bitch,” he growled at me. Stepping closer, trying to grab my arm or part of my coat.
I yanked away. “Don’t touch me! I don’t want your help. I already told you,” I said. Attempting to walk away yet another time.
He stomped his foot. “Get in the car, Annie, or I’ll put you in it myself.”
I immediately started laughing. “You go ahead and try!” I squealed; jumping up and another foot away. After staring at him for a moment in silence I again went to make my departure, but this would be my last attempt. He lunged at me, and in my efforts to dodge him I slipped off the edge of the road. Gravel rushed with me down into the ditch as I fell backwards, hitting my head on nothing but a pile of rocks and leaves. I sat for a moment, almost forgetting he was there with me before I felt myself being lifted out of the ditch and into someones arms.
I started struggling, realizing Charlie finally had me in his grasp.
“Put me down! Let me go! I don’t want to go with you!” I screamed. Spitting in his face. Kicking and flailing my arms, trying to push him away.
“Just stop it, Annie!” he screamed back at me, so loud my ears began to ring a little. He grabbed both of my arms and forced my hands together in his. “I don’t care what you want. I’m not leaving you on this road.”
And just like that he was putting me into the car. Strapping me in and slamming the passenger door in my face. My reaction was too delayed to help me any. By the time I was reaching for the door handle he had already climbed into the car. “Let me out!” I hollered.
Intensity glared in his eyes. I was searching for compassion, but it seemed he had lost all he had. He just stared back at me with a dark expression before grabbing my left hand and zip-tying it to the handle bar on the dash. I yanked and my expression changed. Frustration and irritation turned to fear and anger.
“What are you doing!?” I asked, but it sounded more like I was demanding to know. He wouldn’t answer me. He just kept staring. “Well!? What in the hell is going through your mind right now, Charlie? Why would you do this to me?” I questioned, still yanking on the zip-tie.
“I’m taking you home,” Charlie reiterated and buckled himself in his seat. “You’re the one acting crazy,” he implied. “I’m just making sure you stay put.”
The car shifted into drive and he spun a U-turn, putting us back in the position to head towards my grandfathers house. Charlie drove slow. The speed limit was 55 MPH, but he was only going 35. He’s enjoying this shit or something, I thought to myself.
I quickly clawed open his glove compartment in search of a knife I knew he kept. Just looking for something to rip this zip-tie off with, but he slammed it shut, almost trapping my free hand in the door with it as it went.
“Do you want your other hand tied up, too?” he asked.
I shook my head. What is going on?
“Charlie, I’m not going to jump out of a moving car. You’ve got me in here now, okay? I’m too intoxicated to try and argue with you any longer. Let me take this zip-tie off,” I pleaded. But he wasn’t having any of it.
“It stays on or the other one gets tied. Your choice, Annie,” he said, refusing to look at me again.
I stayed silent and set my free hand on my lap. He was being cold, and I didn’t know why. Surely my no more rude than usual comments earlier couldn’t have upset him this much. There had to be something else.
Enough time had past that I could finally see the porch light of my grandfather’s house just up in the distance. His great big yard illuminated by one small light attached to the front door. Yet the closer we got to it the less likely it seemed like we were going to stop. The closer his property came to us the faster Charlie started to drive.
“What are you doing? Grandpa’s is right here…” I said, pointing out the window as we sped past his driveway. I yanked on the zip-tie again. “Charlie, what’s going on?”
“I told you I couldn’t leave you on the road,” he replied.
“You also told me you were taking me home,” I said, again glancing behind us as my grandfather’s property got farther and farther away from his speeding car.
“Oh, I’m taking you home, alright,” he chuckled -- and I gasped for air. Inebriated or not I could tell there was something sinister in his voice. Something he had never shown me before, and I wasn’t interested in getting to know it.
I lunged forward, again going for his glove compartment. While keeping one hand on the wheel he attempted to use his other to stop be, but I was already searching the compartment. Feeling quickly for anything I could use to break this tie.
With quick action he swerved the car off to the side of the road and slammed on the breaks. Jolting me forward with only one hand to help catch and/or support myself. My head slammed into the dashboard and lunged back up to the seat as we screeched to a stop.
“Always a trouble maker,” he whispered under his breath while jumping out of the vehicle.
I watched as he ran to my side, throwing open the passenger side door and pulling my legs out of the car. “What are you doing? Why are you doing this?” I demanded to know as he began untying my shoes. I tried to kick him, but I didn’t have enough force. I was starting to feel dizzy from all this commotion. I hurled. Yellow liquid rushed out of my mouth and onto his arm as he pulled off my last shoe. Anger flared up in his eyes and his face flushed red.
“You little nasty bitch,” he cursed at me, now taking away my backpack, which had everything except for my car key and cell phone in it. He chucked it all, including my shoes, into the ditch where I watched them seep into a puddle. Throwing my legs back into the car he slammed the door on me once again. With what little focus I had left I watched him try to clean off his arm using his jeans. He reentered the car and shut his door, refastening his seat belt and started driving off again.
I sat in silence for a moment. He wasn’t answering my questions and my mind was a little foggy at the moment, kind of like the weather. What’s going on here?
“Charlie, please tell me what you’re…” I started to say, but before I could finish my thought he had my chin in his grasp and forced me to meet his gaze.
“Shut the fuck up, Annie. Just shut the hell up or so help me god you’ll wish I would have tossed you in the ditch back there, too. You’ve managed to anger me enough,” he snapped, and I fell silent.
I was confused and I wanted answers, but it didn’t seem as though he was willing to discuss his plans. I’ve known Charlie almost my whole life. I’ve never known him to force anyone into anything, so I knew something had to be wrong.
Concern continued to grow within me, but the more time that passed, the sleepier I began to get; and before I knew it I was blacked out in his passenger seat. No shoes. No essentials. And one hand tied to the fucking car.
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