About your question: Why?
I have this feeling that deep inside she feels like sex, or whatever we are doing, is BAD in some sense. And that is probably originating from her religion (Christian). I asked her recently for a photo of her pussy and her response was: No, I am not gonna do it. I asked her why, and she replied because it is not appropriate.
I am really "afraid" to talk about sex because she gets upset. WE have argued 4 times till we met, and it was always about sex. If you ask me, all four times for silly reasons. o I don't really look forward to starting a conversation like that again, especially if the topic is BDSM, or master-slave or whatever. I am afraid if she listens the word slave for example, or see some more "extreme" kinks, she might lose completely interest in all activities of bdsm (like spanking, bondage) that she enjoys (a loot).
It is quite obvious to me that she likes being dominated but "under conditions". For example, she loves being tied, but only if I fuck her while being tied. She does not let me for example tie her and play with her pussy or spank her. But she does let me tie her, fuck her and spank her at the same time. Or play with her pussy while not being tied. And these things somehow confuse me. Do I do something wrong? Am I pushing her too much?
The best thing I can do is to keep doing to her only what I know she likes. Wait for some time before trying or suggesting new things. And I will also keep trying to have a conversation with her about sex. About what she likes and what she doesn't. But when I do try to do that, her response is: I do not know what I like, or, I just do not like that, or, it is not appropriate.
Quote:
Originally Posted by AbusiveMaster
Taking aside the way the opening post was worded - I think we all know now it wasnt what he intended to say - this seems to be actually an interesting topic, if I am reading it correctly.
It seems to me that we have a situation where both you and your girlfriend enjoy your sex life, but she is sometimes reluctant to do certain things. The question though that springs to my mind is "Why?"
I am not party to all the details of your relationship, and am basing my speculations on very limited material sifted from your posts. They may be entirely wrong, but they might give you a starting place to think on things.
My first worry is that discussions on sex lead to arguments. It is possible that she feels you are pressuring her, which is not a good situation to be in. It doesnt matter whether you are or arent, whether you mean to or not. Look at how you communicate.
Another point I am taking from your posts is she seems to be lacking in self confidence. Some reassurance goes a long way. Let her know you are very very happy with things as they are now. Let her know that you enjoy your sex life. Let her know that yes, you want to try new things, but you want to do it together, as a couple, when she wants to.
It isn't particularly nice to feel that you "arent doing it right" or "arent doing enough." Again, I am not suggesting you do this deliberately, but that it is possible you make her feel this way without meaning to. When people get defensive, it is generally because they feel attacked in some way.
My advice is to relax, to reassure, to not make this a source of pressure. In time, with love and trust, you will explore a lot, I am sure. But why the hurry? Let her know you love her. Make her know you want her, make sure she knows she is the best you have ever had WITHOUT adding anything else into your love life. Then, if it happens, it is something you can both enjoy.
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