Quote:
Originally Posted by TheKidWithSkills
Contains Spoilers
Honestly, even though it likes the degradation aspect this story has, it has a good bit of issues with the story.
First, it couldn't tell if this story was at a university or high school. Yeah, it said it took place at a university but walking past a middle school. That feels like a high school. It kept going back to look at the setting because to be honest, it really confused it a couple of times and it thought it was reading a different story.
The blackmail isn't really very realistic, having two children and a husband. It would've fought a lot more. She seemed to give in almost immediately.
She was hardly home with her children, which definitely should've been included more. The children surely would notice something different. Yeah, she got a break on weekends but, still, children will wonder where their parents are.
And why did it not concern her parents. Even though they do spoil the children which was stated in the story, wouldn't they be worried about children with a basically absent parent?
How was she able to check her phone almost always, especially at the presentation? She surely had to do daily every day things that need to be done too.
She really shouldn't have been able to do that.No one can always check their phone immediately.
Even her leaving felt very false. With two children, it is sure you would need a lot more convincing to leave than just unsatisfactory sexual satisfaction and constant drinking.
She seems happy after a point but it doubts anybody is happy when something is non-consensually forced on them. Maybe she liked the action but for a conservative teacher, this was unbelievable.
And she develops a attraction towards Scott, wnich is, okay it gets attraction chooses what it does and is out of your control. But, it is surprising she didn't fight it back more and deny it a lot more. Especially after the blackmail.
As for the slave collar at the end. The ending was majorly disappointing, she took it but, again, she was forced into that by them. So even though, she liked it, it feels she would've said no and found someone else.
Her conflicting feels are accurate as she is serving students and has children and a husband (well, for part of the story.) And she is doing things she never done before.
It also likes how her frustration builds (from horniness and the degradation). This is realistic and it was taken slowly which worked well with the story.
It is easier to focus on the negative, yes, but it does feel the negative overrule the positive.
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First of all thank you for the review. I would like to counter a few of your points from the post though.
I do feel that we all agree on the location aspect, but it is hard to have a school environment without underage people which most authors do not want.
As I stated and the author stated, he wished he hadn't included the kids and it was too late to edit them out. Your points 2, 3, 4 and 7 are all because of this issue. It seems like multiple issues from one mistake. I would prefer it to be thought of as the kids shouldn't be in the story and it makes more sense.
The phone thing is also unrealistic but some suspended disbelief can be granted in a story, especially with large amounts of degredation and I'm not sure this had a large impact on the story.
In terms of a story this length, although I agree with most of the points, I feel the points are minor when the majority can be countered by a few quick fixes (No kids, younger teacher, sixth form college/mature students school).
Thank you again for the review though. I hope you continue to do so and not completely agreeing is a good part of a book club.