[alli55]

The sunlight streaming in through the window reminds me how fickle the British summer weather can be. If it wasn’t for the fact that everything outside is soaking wet, you would never have known that half-an-hour ago we were in the middle of an apocalyptic thunderstorm!

Lissie picks herself up and moves just enough to get out of the dazzling rays of the sun. Her new position means her wiggling foot is brushing against Maddie’s. Maddie looks at her sister, then looks questioningly at me. I smile and nod to her, silently giving my permission for her to do what she’s planning. Surreptitiously, she leans forward, and then pounces! She grabs the offending foot, and mercilessly tickles its sole.

Lissie’s body jerks in response to the shock of Maddie’s sudden attack, and then convulses as the tickle-torture takes effect. She tries desperately to wriggle out of Maddie’s grasp, her laughter leaving her gasping for breath. When she decides that her sister has suffered enough, Maddie let’s go and sits back in her chair.

“What d’you do that for?” Lissie asks, when she’s got her breath back.

“You wiggled once too often!” Maddie informs her.

“I nearly died!” Lissie exaggerates.

“Well, at least you’d have died laughing!” I remark.

“A bloke did that, once!” Phil informs us. “Watching a TV programme! He laughed so much, it brought on a heart attack, and he dropped dead!”

“Seriously?” asks Lissie, disbelievingly.

“Yeah!” he insists.

“What was the programme?”

“The Goodies!” he tells her.

“Never heard of it!”

“Well, you wouldn’t! It was 40 years ago!” he points out.

“What was so funny about it?” Maddie enquires.

“They’d invented a new martial art, called Ecky Thump!” Phil explains. “Which, basically, involved hitting each other round the head with black puddings!”

“Oh, okay!” replies Maddie, not sure what to make of it all.

I don’t remember it! All I remember of The Goodies is that giant kitten knocking down the Post Office Tower! But, then, that’s not something you’re likely to forget, is it?!

“Welcome back!” Trixie greets us. “We’re at the circus this week, and our daredevils are getting some serious training, ready for their big performances!”

“Let’s find out what Dylan’s been up to!” Joe suggests. “He’s with a load of clowns, one of whom you might recognise!”

Lowri and Dylan are with two men, who look completely normal apart from the fact that the younger one has a green-floppy-haired wig on and the other is sporting a wig made of shocking red hair; oh, that and the fact they are both wearing a red nose!

“Dylan has come to see Bobbity-Bob, who’s been performing clown routines for more than 20 years, to pick up some pointers on clowning,” Lowri tells us. “Bobbity-Bob’s nephew, Booby the Clown, just happened to be here, so we’ve kind of got two-for-the-price-of-one!”

“Okay, Dylan, before we go any further, let’s see how connected you are to your clown!” says Bobbity-Bob. “We’ll try a simple exercise!” He places an ordinary wooden chair in the middle of the room. “Anyone who sits on the chair, or stands near it, or walks by it, has to stop and not do nothing. You can do whatever you want: but nothing rude, nothing offensive, and nothing likely to cause injury!”

Everyone moves away from the chair, and the exercise begins. Booby approaches the chair, sits on it, and does a silly dance with his legs. Getting the idea, Dylan walks up to the chair and sits down, the wrong way round; he scratches his head and then turns himself the correct way. Bobbity-Bob nods, approvingly. Booby then returns to the chair, but develops an itch when he sits down; the longer he sits there the more uncontrollable the urge to scratch his itch becomes! When he next goes to the chair, Dylan pauses, thinking; then he sits on it and pretends to be incredibly sleepy. He allows his head to fall forward, then his whole body slumps forward, until he eventually falls off the chair, waking himself up in the process.

“Excellent!” exclaims Bobbity-Bob. “You’ve got a good link to your inner clown! We just need to strengthen the link, and let him take over your imagination!” Noticing Dylan looking a little confused, he adds, “Let me demonstrate!” He walks over to the chair and, like Dylan did, sits on it the wrong way round. “When you did this,” he tells Dylan, “your clown could have developed it! Maybe like this!” He scratches his head, looks at himself and the chair, then indicates, using facial expressions, that he’s had an idea: he takes hold of the chair, and jumps so that he is sitting facing the other way, but because he’s holding it, the chair has also turned, so he’s still the wrong way round! “See what I mean?” he asks Dylan.

“Yeah,” Dylan nods, “it’s, like, get an idea and go with it, and keep going as far as it will take you!”

“Exactly!” agrees Bobbity-Bob.

“So, what sort of thing do you think I should be doing?” asks Dylan.

“Are you going to be performing solo, or as part of an existing group?”

“He’s going to a circus and taking part in their show,” Lowri says, “so I think he’ll be working with their usual clown.”

“Okay, in that case,” replies Bobbity-Bob, “their clown will have a set routine or, at least, some preferred gags. So, you’ll be fitting in with that. Just remember, it’s all about exaggerating everything, and letting your clown loose!”

“I can’t wait!” enthuses Dylan. …

… “We’ve come to beautiful Blenheim Palace,” Richie tells us, as he and Jaz stand in front of a very impressive stately home, “to join Gifford’s Circus, who are here for five nights from Friday.”

The camera pans round to show a large, white, big-top marquee, centrally-placed in a large grassy area in the palace grounds. A group of four people – two men and two women – are walking towards Richie and Jaz. One of the men tells them he’s Sergey, and introduces Dmitry and the two girls, Dasha and Yulia.

“So, you want to be on trapeze with us!” Sergey says to Jaz.

“Yeah, I’d love to!” she tells him.

“So, come on then!” he replies. “”What we wait for?”

Inside the big-top, there are two platforms, each with a trapeze swing, and there is a large safety net underneath the whole set-up.

“So, up we go!” Sergey encourages Jaz, and the two of them, along with Yulia, climb one ladder. Dmitry and Dasha go up to the other platform.

“So, have you done before?” Sergey asks, once they’re on the platform.

“I’ve had a couple of lessons and a few goes,” Jaz tells him, “but not much!”

“Is good!” he assures her. “It will be okay! We will start with easy!”

“Do you not have a safety harness?” she queries.

“No, we have nowhere to fix,” he replies. “But, net is there, so is safe!”

“Have you ever fallen?”

“I fall lots of times,” Yulia tells her, “but always net catches me, so is okay!”

“So, you are ready?” Sergey asks Jaz. She nods, and he continues, “Watch Yulia, then you do!”

Sergey signals to Dmitry, who pushes off from the other platform, and quickly puts himself into a Knee Hang. Yulia then pushes off, swings a couple of times, and then, as the two approach their closest point, releases, twists through 360 degrees and clutches Dmitry’s hands. They swing back towards the platform, and then, as they head for the middle again, Dmitry lets go and Yulia falls into the net.

“Now you!” Sergey tells Jaz, as Dmitry works to keep his swing at the correct tempo. Jaz pushes off when Sergey instructs her to, and goes through the same simple routine she’s just seen Yulia perform. When she lands in the safety net, she is bubbling over with excitement! …

… Lorna is also in a big-top, only the one she’s in is a much more vibrant red-and-yellow-striped affair! “Eilidh has joined Zippos Circus for the week,” she informs us, “and Svetlana has got her on the silks straight away!” The camera pulls out and we can see Eilidh demonstrating her climbing technique to a young, lithe, dark-haired woman, Svetlana, who is watching intently.

“Okay, now come down!” she tells Eilidh, who does so, making very sure she does it properly.

“Good!” Svetlana says. “Do you know one-foot tie-in?”

“Aye,” Eilidh tells her.

“Show me!” she orders.

Eilidh re-climbs the silks, to about a metre or so off the ground, then wraps her leg round the silk, pulls out some slack and loops it under her foot, so it looks like she’s wearing a shoe, being careful to leave her heel and toes uncovered. Svetlana inspects it closely, and pronounces herself satisfied with Eilidh’s one-foot tie-in.

Once Eilidh is back on the ground, Svetlana says, “Okay, we can start to teach you some simple positions!”

“Great!” enthuses Eilidh. “Let’s do it!”

“We can start with Ship’s Lady!”

“Sounds good!”

“Okay, first you must tie yourself in!”

As always, the first few attempts are tried at a height of no more than a metre or so, for safety. When Eilidh’s tied in, Svetlana half-tells and half-shows her what to do.

“Okay, so we separate the silks,” she begins. “Now, lift your arms and grip the separate silks, … higher, … so, your elbows need to be level with the top of your head, … good! Now, lean forward through the silks, so your body is in front of them, … now, push your other knee as far in front as you can, really extend your leg, … yes! I like it! That is Ship’s Lady! Good, yes?”

“Aye!” agrees Eilidh.

“Okay, down, and then you try, no help!” Svetlana tells her. We watch as Eilidh tries to remember the moves, but she still needs help the first couple of times. The third time, however, she masters it, and looks really pleased with herself!

“Well, everything seems to be going really well!” exclaims Trixie, when we return to the studio. “Those were some really impressive moves from Jaz and Eilidh!”

“They certainly were,” agrees Joe, “and Dylan looks like a natural clown!”

“Yes, he does!” Trixie concurs. “So, dare we find out how Keenan’s getting on?”

“Okay, in the interests of showing you lot at home that this stuff isn’t as easy as it looks,” Joe grins, “here’s Keenan once more!”

Keenan is still on the not-at-all-high-wire, shuffling cautiously along. “I reckon I could get the hang of this tightrope walking!” he declares.

“Yes, I’m sure,” Aleksandra replies, “but I think you have to do tricks on it, not just walk very slowly!”

“Tricks?” he asks. “Like what?”

“I think you jump up and down, or you turn around,” she tells him, “things like that!”

“Really?”

“Yes!” she insists. “One time, when I saw the Moscow State Circus, this guy, he rode his bicycle along the tightrope! Maybe you could do that?!”

“Are you mad?”

“I’m just telling you what I saw!”

“Maybe I’ll try something else!” he decides. …

… “Gemma is about to get her first experience of free-flying,” Mairie tells us, “with no safety harness to hold her up!” She turns and points to a couple of figures high above her on one of the trapeze platforms.

A close-up shot allows us to drop in on the conversation between Gemma and her instructor, Stuey, a fellow Geordie.

“So, the first thing you have to get used to is falling off!” he tells the nervous-looking teenager.

“I’ve got to fall off on purpose?” she checks.

“Yeah,” he confirms, “and you’ve got to keep doing it until I’m happy you’re completely confident about the net keeping you safe! So, grab hold, push yourself off, and, when I tell you, let go!”

We see a series of clips of Gemma falling off the trapeze, at various points in her swing. Each time she lands in the safety net and scrambles to the edge of it, before being helped off by a pretty brunette in a black unitard.

“Eventually, Stuey thinks Gemma has the confidence she needs, so, while he goes to the other platform, he leaves Gemma in Lilly’s capable hands,” Mairie explains.

After a bit of encouragement from Lilly, Gemma is ready. We watch as Stuey and Gemma perform the same routine that we saw Dmitry and Jaz do earlier, but without the 360 degree spin. Swinging back and forth, holding on to Stuey, Gemma is smiling broadly; but the smile disappears in an instant, when Stuey lets go of her and she falls into the safety net once more.

“You never warned me you were going to do that!” she complains, loudly. The sound of male laughter comes from above her!

“Typical Geordie bloke,” remarks Trixie, “always dropping you in it!”

“Charming!” Joe exclaims.

“Just saying!”

Joe grins and gives Trixie a look that, if she’d spotted it, would have set alarm bells ringing in her head, but she doesn’t notice. “So, after the break,” he says, mischievously, “Trixie will be telling you all about the finer details of the intricacies involved in aerial silk routines! Join us then …!”

“Pardon?” she says, caught completely unaware. “I don’t think that’s happening! What we will be doing when we come back,” she corrects, “is showing you just how much more work our daredevils have to do to get themselves to performance standard. So, join us, then, for more circus skills on Britain’s Most Daring!”

“Well, it’s obvious who’s going this week!” declares Lissie. “Keenan! He’s completely useless!”

“That doesn’t mean he’ll be going, though, does it?” her Dad points out.

“Uh?” she asks, clearly believing that it does!

“It only means he’ll end up in the Dare-Off!” he tells her. “But he might win that, depending what it is! And then he stays on the show!”

“I s’pose!” she concedes. “But I still think he’s going!”