[GayAsianDude]

I have a similar experience, a lot of times after serving a dom for a while, I end up in a dark funky mood and I just want to leave the relationship that, sometimes, have taken months to build. I self diagnose myself as also having mental issues but I should probably go for professional help, seriously. Maybe it will help you too to do so.

Anyway, like you, I always find myself looking for a new dom and often hating myself afterwards for doing so.

A few things I've learned about myself:

1) I can never get my sex drive down, therefore...

2) I can never stay away from the kink and erotic scene

3) My expectations though seemingly simple is not realistic. Doms/dommes/masters/mistresses are only human and though they apply aftercare and pre-care and what not, they can only do so much. The real world puts pressures on us all both in and out of the bedroom.

4) I'm bound to eventually be disappointed or be hurt by any and every dom/master I meet in the long run - this is not because there are no great ones out there, there are actually many but I get disappointed and/or hurt because of #3 above.

5) So the solution that works for me (which honestly I keep on forgetting but have to remind myself) is to keep it short and sweet, meaning, I do short task-based servitude and no longer look for a long-term, much less, permanent dom to serve. I also try to fill my time with other activities to help me get my mind off (if even just for a little while) on the sexual fantasies that I latch on to. Which brings me to another realization...

6) I latch into sexual fantasies to the exclusion of almost everything else. An unhealthy habit for sure. That's what I think it is: a habit formed over time, through the years.

7) When I catch myself latching on, I just forgive myself and move on. I've stopped berating myself coz it doesn't do anything good for me.

Realization #5 holds a solution that works for me, this may not work for you or anybody else. This also does not mean that people should not look for long term dom/dommes of their own. It just means that one has to find the right balance for one's self and I think that it is different for each one.

Hope this helps you some.