Thank you so much, Curtis, for your comments. I really appreciate them, and I can tell that you've put a lot of thought into them. For that reason, though I read them yesterday, I've taken my time before responding, to give myself a proper chance to think about what you've said.
To avoid any inadvertent spoilers, I've restricted some of my comments, for now. But, once the story has finished, I would love to discuss these points, and any others, with you further!
1) I like to try to get inside my characters' minds and think how they would deal with things, so that explains Hannah's behaviour.
2) This is one I would love to discuss with you at greater length, after I've finished posting the story. I acknowledge that
Sleepover was very much a story in two halves, each half very different from the other. This was because of the initial statement made by Megan about the sleepover changing her life (indeed the very title of the story); so I wanted the story to detail the sleepover and then to show how and why Megan thought it had changed her life.
I will, though, happily admit that I have a bit of an issue knowing when and how to end a story. I don't know about the US, but here in the UK far too many dramas, on TV especially, have what I call a 'brick-wall ending'. What I mean is, they hook you in, create a plot, develop the characters, and then just finish. The story, literally, just stops, leaving you wondering how the unfinished plot might be resolved and what might happen to the characters.
I hate that! So, in trying to make sure I don't leave a story hanging, I probably over-compensate and try to tie up too many loose ends. It's a flaw I'm aware of, and I do try to rein myself in, but it's hard!
3) 'Littlies' is very much a British expression, but even here I don't think it's that common. It's just something I'm aware of from my childhood, and I just liked the word when I was looking for a way of referring to Zack and Gracie together!
4) The italics thing has bugged me too! I write my stories in Word, and the font I use gives a really good distinction between normal type and italics. It wasn't until after I posted the first part of this story that I realised the distinction wasn't as strong on here. Your idea of using different colours in the text is brilliant
, and I will definitely be using that in future!
I'm glad you like the use of dual narrators. I felt that it was the only way to tell this particular story, but I'm not sure that it should be used very often, so it may be a while before I need to work out how to colour my text!
5) I kind of like the idea that it's a bit rebellious to write a story like this on a site so dedicated to sex and sex-related stuff! I suppose you could call me a harmless rebel!
Thanks again, and I'd love to talk further ... maybe once this story has concluded?
Alli