[gayalex]

Take 2 laxatives and put on your tightest underwear. Once you're ready to shit, unleash it in your undies. Put a small item of food in, like a grape, and take another laxative. Next time you shit you can take off your underwear and eat the food, using only your mouth to find it. If the food has gotten squashed in your shit, congrats. You have a smoothie. Eat it all.