[Yasna]

Day 21 of strict no touching in a sexual manner. This is just going to be a quick status update. I had some really busy days and not too many things noteworthy happened.

I've proceeded to use panty-liners all the time now. My pussy is always wet, leaking most of the time, and I think it's still increasing rather than waning. I like the feeling a lot, except for a small worry about the smell. Despite increased efforts in hygiene (I'm quite squeamish in this regard) I sometimes have the feeling I can smell my pussy juices (maybe I'm just paranoid). Recently in a crowded bus a poor little boy was so wedged in that he ended up with his face very close to my crotch. I felt very awkward, wondering whether he could smell something. Apart from this I'm on denial high far more often than not – I'd say 90 percent denial bliss, 10 percent internal struggle –, but when urge and horniness show up it's like being hit by a sledgehammer. And usually I don't see it coming. Have you ever buckled unexpectedly because you've been stabbed with a warm rod into the lower abdomen? And you feel everything tighten around the rod, almost clenching, twitching? That's how it feels sometimes. And I definitely miss the relaxation that a couple of nice orgasms can bestow upon you after busy days. I sometimes feel quite tense, but of course one can't have both, the relaxation from release and the amazing high spirits from denial.

I've already given it away in the headline – I had my first small slip-up. When I awoke two days ago my clit felt incredibly tight and hot, and I simply had to touch it just to relieve the tension. Or so I thought. I reached into my pyjama shorts, and slightly rubbed my clit. Ohhhh! It was not that was still in a sleepy haze; I was very well aware what I was doing. It took me about half a minute to call myself to order again. Just a small temporary loss of self-control; no reason to panic. I take it as a learning experience. When I reintroduce masturbation I'll have to be very, very careful. Because I went from nil to close to hundred in this short time. Despite it felt really good it was not too difficult to stop and the inevitable frustration lasted only for a few minutes. I'm overjoyed that I found something I really love and could imagine to pursue for the long haul (usually I'm quite erratic). But I'm still just experimenting. No pressure.