[thingywhat]

You are Mew. But the thing about Mew is that, they can learn anything and everything! For each day for the rest of the week, you should dress up completely in pink, since Mew is pink, click this link to go to a random Wikipedia page, and learn everything you can about it for at least two hours, no matter how boring. (Longer if it takes longer to read the full Wikipedia page).

As you are dressing up for this, you must masturbate into your underwear, turn them backwards, and give yourself a rear-wedgie for the duration of the study... Because Mew has a sperm tail, why not you?

Mine is Pichu.