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My first question is whether your wife and you are open to allow others into "the bedroom" with you, and to what extent. Some people view "sex" and "love" as separate things, others find the two intricately linked. Neither is good or bad, just different. IF (and that is a very big "if") you BOTH agree to bring in an additional someone to help scratch the itches you have that she cannot, then you need to be clear about the what's, when's, how's, etc.

Open and HONEST communication is critical. I have seen "open" and polyamorous relationships succeed and fail, and it almost always is because of how everyone involved communicates to each other. Your situation is not that different from that of many I know- myself included- where one partner is interested in D/s and the other is not. The "typical" solution is that the Interested party is given a "hall pass", where they are given permission to seek outside the primary relationship what they are unable to get from their partner. The limits vary from relationship to relationship. When it works, the relationship gets stronger because everyone has their needs fulfilled and there is not the resentment in the way.

I wish you the best along whatever path you choose to take.