[useme871]

I had the first meeting with master today and it went well from my perspective. We got reacquainted about D/s, some expectations, basic rules, safe word, why this was being done and the collaborative approach between master and ma'am. This is in no way meant to be punitive but rather a method of development and preparation for ma'am and improvement for the sub. Also, a way to reintroduce master back into things overall.

We both realize that we will not be starting where we left off and that building trust is going to take some time. Master knows he will need to be patient yet firm. He feels that since he is not in a dual role (husband and master) that when I put up resistance he will be able to keep going and not feel like he is betraying his 'wife' or inflicting undue pain on his 'wife'. Anal has always been difficult for me and I need a master who can continue when I tense up, when my muscles constrict, someone who can follow through regardless of what my body is doing. As a husband he was unable to do that- as a single master- he should be able to carry that out.

Today we remained at the kitchen table and had a conversation but also circled back to the body. What my body type entails and how that can be used for humiliation, training, and punishment.

I was asked very directly if I had broken the orgasm denial and I said 'no', which was the truth. That area of my body needs to be examined and touched but there are ways to numb to keep any sensation from happening. Ma'am is firm about denial and that must be respected. There is no time frame for release.

I will be meeting with master on saturday, the tentative plan is to began with a full exam, see how that goes and progress from there. Master may focus on the breasts or we may try the ass or ma'am may request something else including punishment.

Of course during the meeting master felt necessary to comment on the size of the breasts, the lack of breast tissue and how insignificant the sub's breasts remain. This alone will make the sub unappealing to many masters and the sub should be very grateful for the training she receives.

I was then given a tour of the 'room'. I was shown the eye-hooks,bolts and tie down locations, how things are set up and explained how things would work. I understood the process- it is very similar to what master coordinated previously. This made it easy to visualize myself in certain positions and receiving master.

Saturday afternoon should be a positive experience. My insignificant breasts will be there, ready for what master and ma'am have decided.