[Consensus]

I've not had many of these. Only one blowjob, in private in our bedroom, so I'm not sure that counts. She did not enjoy the experience at all, I didn't climax either but it was nice and she did offer. I don't think that's ever going to be repeated.

On hand-jobs, my wife has done three of these. She... well, it's not been very satisfying and was instead of anything else. She told me I'd to ask for them and that they were because she really really would prefer not to have sex and feels guilty about that. I felt bad asking, she didn't really ask for any feedback and they were... not fun for either of us. Again, only in our bedroom with the possibility of our children running in at any moment, so... not really fun or kinky.

However, my former girlfriend was a bit more... mad. She did a fair few, maybe five, handjobs. The most public of these was round her room in her shared house (she was still at University in the final year of her degree, I was in my second year of a job) whilst I was dressed in a long nightie and sleeping in her bed. She and I had just watched Donnie Darko and she'd deliberately left the door open and let me know that people would investigate if I was too loud. I ended up being virtually silent, which she found disappointing. I made it up to her by returning the favour and she was quite loud about it, which made me a little more guilty, so I did it again for her. No one came to investigate but my friend, who lived in the same house as her, did complain that our antics kept him awake. That would be the most public 'fooling around' I ever did.