[UniqueID]

I really like your wrestling story and the direction you're taking it, I can't wait to hear more.

I know you're asking for some comments/suggestions so I'd though I'd say one thing about your first captured story that stood out to me. This is something that someone told me about some stories I wrote at one time, and I took it hard at first, but looking back I see what they meant. Even though you first story was written in 1st person point of view, I found it was mostly all the same sentence structure type and all the sentences were almost the same length. If we're reading a persons thoughts they'll be broken, short, long, varying lengths, incomplete sentences, sometimes even one or tow word sentences or thoughts. No one thinks in correct grammar and with long 10-15 word complete sentences all the time. So its not always natural reading a first person point-of-view story written that way.

Your second story and its installments though have all been phenomenal and great. Everything about it is excellent, its a very natural reading and I really feel like I'm there when reading it. Keep it up.