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Old 06-18-2012, 05:47 AM   #7
slutjuice
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Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: USA
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nice start! looking forwards to the next chapter.
just a little thing: she seems pretty dramatic, like when the alarm goes off, instead being like 'oh shit' she says 'oh no!' a little less dramatic in places that don't matter, would make it a little more realistic. Good job!
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