[wowman]

You'll have to tell me how you feel about this one, since it will be *semi-public. But go to the grocery store and pick out two different phallic fruits/veggies to fuck yourself with. Buy the largest one you think you can fit in each hole. Purchase a few yellow bananas as well, make sure they aren't too green, as they will be filling your ass later. You should also buy lube if you need it... Actually, you should buy it no matter what. Your purchase should not come out to more than ten items. You may use the self checkout or go to a cashier, it's your decision.

Once you have those items, get into your car and immediately place the *pussy toy between your legs for the drive home. I hope you wear pants because those veggies can get a little dirty, but you may like that. Once home, go immediately to the kitchen, wash all of your toys, and lay them out on towel. You will use fingers and other toys to warm up first, without cumming. When you feel ready, lie on your back with the toy lined up with your pussy, and slowly instead it with one deep stroke. Go as slow as you want, but don't pull out or go backwards for any reason. Lay there and enjoy the fullness. Take your vibrator with the other hand and masturbate to orgasm. You may now remove the vegetable. Repeat the same process with your ass, slowly stretching it out with fingers and other toys. Use more lube than you think you need and insert your anal veggie in the same fashion, slow and steady. Masturbate to orgasm again. Remove the toy. If you are feeling extra horny, take both toys, DP fashion, and fuck yourself to a third orgasm, but this time you must not touch your clit at all. Have fun, and I hope you don't pick ones that are *too big...