1. Have you ever peed your pants in school?
Yes, when I was 11. I raised my hand to ask permission to go and the teacher ignored me for ages. Time went on, I became more and more desperate until the dam burst. The entire room went silent except for the sound of my piss cascading over the edge of my seat onto the carpet.
That teacher never ignored a student again for the rest of the time I was in her class.
2. Have you ever ACCIDENTALLY peed yourself as an adult?
For a while in my late teens I suffered from nightmares and there was a 50/50 chance I'd wake up to find I'd wet the bed.
3. Have you ever been caught naked by your parent(s)/child(ren)?
No.
4. Have you ever caught your parent(s) naked?
No.
5. Have you ever had your sexuality or kink outed to a family member?
My mum went snooping on my PC when I was 12/13 and found out I was bi and in my early 20s I had a therapist "accidentally" out me to my parents as trans.
6. Have you ever had sex with someone, only to learn you were related?
No.
7. Have you ever had sex with someone, only to learn they were married?
No.
8. Have you ever been caught having sex or masturbating by your parent(s)/child(ren)?
Frequently. I started masturbating from a very young age and my mum took it upon herself to put a stop to it. By 5 or 6 I'd learned how to be discreet enough to only get caught a handful of times from then on.
9. Have you ever caught your parent(s)/child(ren) having sex?
No.
10. Have you ever been caught farting in a public (polite) area?
No, I do it silently and let someone else take the blame.
11. Have you ever had an upset stomach on a date that ended in diarrhea, gas, or vomiting?
No.
12. Have you ever been called out for having smelly gas?
No.
13. Have you ever had a credit card declined and/or had to endure the "Walk of Shame" while returning your items because you can't buy them?
No. If I know I'm running low on funds I always double check the amount before I go shopping.
14. Have you ever fallen down a flight of stairs in the company of others?
No.
15. Have you ever sent an AWFUL drunk text, or drunk-dialed someone?
When I get drunk I call my relatives to tell them how much I love and appreciate them.
16. Have you ever been caught talking behind someone's back, by the person you're talking about?
No, I'm too careful for that.
16. Have you ever accidentally sent a scathing text message about someone to the person it's about?
No.
17. Have you ever accidentally sent a "sext message" to an unintended contact?
No.
18. Have you ever clogged a toilet after pooping?
I have clogged many a public toilet. Never in my own home or anyone else's. I guess public toilets are built different?
19. If you experience periods, have you ever bled through your clothes?
Every. Damn. Time.
20. If you died right now, what would be the most embarrassing thing someone would find in your house?
My vibrator, mostly because it's currently on and between my legs.
21. Are there any unwanted nude photos of you floating around the internet?
No.
22. Have you ever fallen prey to an internet scam?
No.
23. Have you ever made an idiot of yourself in front of a crush?
No.
24. Have you ever argued with an authority figure only to find out you were VERY wrong?
No.
25. Have you ever been in jail?
No.
26. Have you ever come to the realization that you've been walking around with your pants zipper down, or with a hole in your pants?
I walk around with my zipper down a lot. Maybe I'm subconsciously trying to tell the world something, I don't know.
27. Have you ever accidentally walked in on someone in the bathroom?
Yeah. That's on them though, they didn't lock the door.
28. Have you ever accidentally told someone you loved them?
No.
29. Have you ever accidentally called someone mom or dad?
No.
30. Have you ever had a crush on a teacher?
Yeah. It was super obvious too, everyone knew about it.
31. Have you ever had a crush on/fantasized about a cartoon character?
When I was a kid I had a fantasy about getting spanked by the woman from Tom & Jerry. That was the first in a long line of cartoon fantasies.
32. Have you ever eaten at a restaurant only to find out the bill was WAY more than you could pay?
No.
33. Have you ever spilled drink or food at a restaurant?
No.
34. Have you ever been denied a kiss on a first date?
No.
35. Have you ever been caught trying to cheat, scam, or steal?
I stole a cola bottle from a pick n mix when I was 4/5 and my mum took me and my brother back to the store, made me apologise to the member of staff, then bought my brother a bag of pick n mix while telling me I was banned from eating sweets for a week.
36. Have you ever set off a store alarm while trying to exit?
No.
37. Do you get zits in noticeable places?
I've had loads on my chin since masks became a thing.
38. Have you ever had your pubic hair get snagged by your clothes?
Yes. Worst is when I'm driving and they get yanked every time I use a pedal.
39. Have you ever gotten a REALLY bad itch on your genitals while in public, so you couldn't scratch it?
Yes, I usually take the first opportunity to go to a bathroom and have a good scratch.
40. Have you ever finished on the toilet only to find out that there's no more toilet paper, then have to do the "Walk of Shame" to the closet (or, if in a public bathroom, to the next stall) to find some?
No.
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