With so much crap in my ears, I never heard about the request to pick a pie. I find out I missed it when I get a BP&J pie to the face?!? Damn….
I line up, ready to do my best. Off through the obstacle course - slow and steady will work for me, and I make it through pretty much unscathed. Not so bad! Now for the bridge over the mud. I need to time this … just … right …
SMACK!
I’m face first into the mud. I lay there a second, too embarrassed and a little stuck to move. I crawl to the side, and make my way back to the bridge, weighing 10 pounds more and absolutely covered in mud.
Ok - let’s do this.
SMACK!
I made it maybe 3 feet further than last time, but I’m still back here in the mud. The crawl this time is even harder…
Ok. I see what I did wrong. Past the first sandbag. Yes! Now…
SMACK!
Fuck! I got a mouthful this time. Spitting out mud, caked in filth, and exhausted, I crawl out for the third time.
At this point, I am so far back that I take my damn time. I make it across, and through the rest of the obstacles through the simple process of crawling the entire way.
I come through dead last. I’m embarrassed now. I fear I’m about to be humiliated…
I’m so exhausted that when asked for my numbers, I can’t even get creative. “49, 50, and 51,” I say with a resigned tone...
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